"I'm an angel?" Even as I asked that, I was wondering to myself if I actually believed in them. I should...I had thought I was a demon.
Kellan shook his head. "You're a nephilim."
"What's that?"
"Part of your blood is from a messenger, yes. Part of you is human. That's the part that's mine." He spoke with the same force as before.
It stirred inside of me, but I controlled it. I wasn't going to let it out, not when I was finally getting answers. "I'm...how...there's a lot that I don't understand, Kellan."
He nodded, sympathetic. "I'm sorry. I am. I would've..." Then he looked away and bit back whatever he'd been about to say. "I can't lie to you. I—"
"What?"
"Nothing." He shook his head abruptly. "I can't tell you anything more. I don't know anything more."
I was half of a messenger. He was half of a demon. Who the hell were our parents? How did we end up in the same family? Under the same roof? I choked out, "Do Vespar and Gus know?"
"No!" Kellan laughed out, hoarse. "God no. They'd...they can't know. Trust me."
"Why?" Although I was pretty sure I knew why.
"Because they'd kill you. You know that."
I had, but it was painful hearing it. "And you? Why don't you kill me? Why haven't you tried?" I laughed. The sound came out nearly hysterical. "This makes us enemies, doesn't it? Something inside of me wants to kill you. I'm sure your demon wants to do the same to me."
Kellan quieted and watched me. His eyes seemed to pierce me, looking into my soul. It was uncomfortable and I waved a hand. "Stop it. Just...stop it. I can't handle you being inside of me."
"That's not what I'm doing. I'm trying to figure out what to say to you to make it better. I don't know what to say right now."
"You know everything." All my life, Kellan had been our leader. He'd been the strongest. The fastest. The most powerful. The one who always knew what to do, who could handle anything. He couldn't handle this and that said a lot. At the same time, it was like he'd taken a knife to my heart. I felt him stabbing me one, two, three times—like I'd been gutted. "What am I supposed to do with this information? How can I be...Where do I go now?"
Something shifted in him and he glanced to Leah's room. "She's okay?"
"Yeah. She'll be fine now."
"She won't need me here?"
"No, she shouldn't. I made it okay with her. I don't know how, but she'll be fine. She might remember, she might not. She might think of something to justify everything in her mind. I don't know, but she'll be fine. She's at peace now."
I had done that. The messenger inside of me had done that. It felt right, but it felt strange. It also felt like I'd chosen a different side. The line had been drawn between my family and me. With that action I had chosen the other side. Kellan might not admit it, but we were enemies. I felt it in me. A part of me wanted to kill him.
"Let's go somewhere. I'll..." But he didn't know what to say. Kellan looked around, helpless. I saw it all over his face. It was heart wrenching. He had no idea how to make this better and my brother always knew. Then he frowned sharply. "Why did you come here again?"
Where did I start? "Vespar came up to me at school today. He thinks you're angry with him. Then Gus pleaded with me to find you. She's scared that you and Vespar are going to fight, breaking our family up."
He narrowed his eyes. "Why would Vespar think that I'm angry with him?"
I shrugged. "I have no idea."
"Shay?"
"I might've told him that."
A normal being would groan in frustration. Kellan flashed a smile. "Really?"
I couldn't help, but smile back. "Now I'm glad. They're both on edge because of it. I was just going off what you told me, that Vespar thinks we're going to war with them."
He laughed now. "I said that because he does think it. I didn't mean today or next week. I meant in the future. He knows the lines are drawn. He knows the alliances and you and I are more powerful than those two. I have no intention of fighting them now."
"They don't need to know that."
He quieted and asked, "Tell me the real reason why you found me."
"Matt was replaced with Dylan Cavanagh. Vespar punched him in the hallway. I think he's a little pissed. He's already started trying to bully me. He threatened us, said that we won't get away half the stuff we do now."
Kellan sobered, watching me. "That's not why you sought me out either. Why, Shay?"
He was annoying when he did that. "I don't know. I really don't." And I didn't, not really. I could've guessed, but those were emotions I didn't want to acknowledge, especially now.
"And if I were to guess, I'm sure Vespar or Guiseppe have already dealt with him. Am I right?" Both his hands cupped my cheeks and he cradled my face in his hands now. "What's going on with you, Shay? Don't tell me that it's you being a nephilim because you sought me out for a different reason. We will deal with your different parentage. I'm not concerned with it, not how you are, but I know things will be fine. That's not the reason why you came here. Tell me why."
I opened my mouth to say something, but I had no idea what. So I halted, speechless, as he held me in his hands. When his thumbs started to brush against my cheeks, caressing back and forth, I couldn't help to close my eyes and lean into his touch. It was like I needed it, I needed him. I had sought him out because I needed this. The reality of that rushed through my whole body and I jerked away.
Kellan didn't let go. He felt the tension in my body and instead wrapped his arms around me, anchoring me against him, against the wall. We stood there, enveloped together, as he murmured into my hair, "You need to be more honest with yourself. You have all the answers, Shay. You decide where we go from here."
My hands balled into fists and rested helplessly against his shoulders. I was half hugging him, but I felt like I was half dying at the same time. "What does that mean? I have no idea."
"What do you want?" His breath teased my forehead.
His phone rang and we both knew it was important. No one would call Kellan unless it was me or something life and death. He pulled away and looked at it. His voice was rough. "It's Gus."
Something had gone wrong.
We both felt it and then he answered, "What happened?"
I listened to her nearly hysterical voice before he interrupted her, "Where are you?" A second later, after she told him, he added, "We're coming." Then he hung up. As he pocketed the phone, he took my hand and pulled me behind. "She's in trouble."
As we left the house and got into his car, I asked, "What happened?"
"Cavanagh was into demon/devil worship stuff. He had some tricks up his sleeve. Gus couldn't handle herself and killed his entire family. It's too much. We can't handle this much death on our hands. Messengers will come now."
The ride was tense. All the new revelations didn't sit well with us, or with me. What was I supposed to do now? Where did my loyalty lie? Kellan didn't say a word and neither did I. Then he parked outside of a huge house and I had no doubt it was Dylan's. They always seemed to come from money. Gus appeared in the door, frantic and pale. She had blood over her entire body. It dripped on the floor, leaving bloodied footprints since she was barefoot. "I don't know what to do, Kellan. They..." She looked back, fearful. "They're all over. His entire family came home..."
She choked off the rest and looked away.
We stepped around and surveyed the scene. Bodies were everywhere. Their eyes were all wide open, blank. Death glazed over them.
Kellan asked, almost normal, "Where's Vespar?"
"He's home. He didn't want to come once he knew I had called you. I'm sorry, Kellan. I really am. I know that..." She didn't say anymore, but bit her hand with tears running down her cheeks.
This wasn't a scene I was used to, but I felt like it was to Kellan. That unnerved me the most. Gus seemed hysterical, like she had done something she hadn't wanted to, but he was cold—completely cold to what had happened. I felt a kick in my gut and knew the messenger sensed what was going on. It was angry. Again.
Kellan looked at me sharply. He sensed the messenger in me too, but I clamped down and quieted it. It went silent immediately. He looked back to the room and asked, disappointed, "There was a child, Gus?"
She bit back a cry. "There were three of them. I didn't know. I was so—he was chanting something and it was hurting me. When they showed up, he stopped, and I was so mad. I couldn't hold back. I didn't know they were here until... I am so sorry, Kellan."
I bit back everything and numbed myself. That was when I started actually looking at the bodies, at who they were. "He's not here. Dylan isn't here."
Kellan whirled around. We both looked at Gus. She shook her head. "I don't know where he is. I'm sorry..."
"He's still alive?"
"He knew things...chants..." She looked away, still crying.
A sudden realization occurred to me. "He knew what we are."
She nodded, still turned away.
"Oh my god."
Kellan didn't say anything, but then he waved a hand over the bodies. As he started to mutter some words under his breath, Gus gasped, "What are you doing? That'll bring them here."
He stopped and looked at her. "They're already coming, Gus. At least I can make this right."
She quieted and turned into a corner. Her back was to us and she sobbed.
He continued and something sparked the air. I felt it swirling around us, picking up speed. It was strong. Powerful. Kellan warranted it easily, as if he'd born to do so. Then I felt it touch me and gasped. It was life—it was theirs. I looked at him with renewed eyes—what couldn't he do? He was trying to give them their lives back.
What demon did that?
Our sister still cried while he continued to mount the spell. It circled my feet, then my legs, my stomach, and I lifted my arms. With my head bent, I closed myself down and let the messenger out. It answered what was going on, how I had hoped it would, and somehow I knew the words to say along with Kellan. Both of us gave life to the spell and then suddenly everything exploded between us. Bursts of light sparked and flew into their mouths.
It was done as soon as it had started.
When it was, when I felt their souls return to their bodies, Kellan gasped, "We have to leave. Now. They can't see us."
He darted out the door. It was going to happen so fast and they couldn't see us. They would know we had something to do with it. I dragged Gus behind me and literally lifted her the entire way. The devastation was real with her. She hadn't wanted to kill those many people. It hadn't been just a family. It had been an extended family.
As soon as we were in the car, Kellan drove out of there as fast as possible. I didn't have time to grab a seat belt, but I was to the point where I didn't know if one was needed for us. Gus laid in my lap in the back seat. She curled her head in my shoulder and sobbed. As I stroked her hair back, my eyes caught Kellan's in the rear view mirror. I could tell that he was angry, but I wasn't sure why. He wasn't sympathetic to Gus—that much I could feel from him. He was furious with her. And a part of him was furious with me too.
Then his eyes switched and he watched behind us as he drove forward. His eyes couldn't look away. My hand shielded Gus' eyes and I looked also. I couldn't not—something pulled at me and then I saw the light. Dylan's entire house was illuminated. It looked like it was being raised in the air. Rays of light burst through the windows, doors, anything that would open and suddenly it was dark again. The house seemed like it fell back to the ground, shattered, and yet with the blink of an eye—everything was normal again.
It was done. They were alive again.
Kellan watched the road again and no one spoke. Gus still sobbed, interrupting the silence, but her weeping quieted by the time we reached our home. As we went inside, I felt Kellan's exhaustion. At the same time, his body was fully energized with adrenaline. His fury kept him from falling to the ground.
Vespar stood up from his seat at the table. Gus flew to him and he caught her, lifting in his arms. Her legs and arms wrapped around him and he was the one to stroke her hair this time, comforting. He watched us both, Kellan and myself, and nodded in thanks before he turned and took her to his room.
We both knew they'd remain there for the night, if not longer.
Kellan didn't say a word to me, but went to his room. I followed and sat on his bed while he went to the bathroom. Neither of us spoke, I didn't think we dared. What could be said? Whatever said was the acknowledgment of what had just happened, what would happen now. Something was coming and I felt it in my bones. It was going to hurt us.
After he washed and showered, he stood in the bathroom doorway. Then he turned the light off, but didn't move to me. He stayed and stared at me as I stared back. The moonlight filtered through the half-closed drapes and touched the floor. A shadow from it was cast on the bed, showing my face. Kellan was completely in the dark.
Then I asked, "What will happen now?"
"I have to kill Dylan." He answered so quickly.
"Because he knows too much."
"Because he hurt one of mine." Kellan jerked away from where he stood and sat beside me. He hung his head forward and I cradled the back of his neck in my hand. My thumb rubbed at a knot that had formed there. Soothing.
"Is that the only reason why?"
He sighed again, deeply. "Messengers are coming. It will take awhile for them to find us. Our parents put a blanketing spell over all of us so we can't be sensed by other beings."
"What do you mean?"
"Witches, other demons. Messengers. Anyone who does magic or knows about that world."
"They'll still figure out it was us."
"Yes, but it'll take them some time. We'll sense them before they know us."
"And you'll kill Dylan to keep him from telling them?"
"That's one of the reasons, yes." His voice was rough, angered. Kellan was going to kill him anyway, even if there had been no threat to us. And he was going to do it because he played with Gus, he hurt her. He hurt one of us.
"When?"
"Now." He stood and crossed to his closet. I looked away as he changed clothing. He had been in normal attire, jeans and a blue shirt. Now he pulled on a black long sleeve shirt that tightly fit him over black sports pants. They were made of soft material. When he moved across the room, I knew why he chose those clothes. I couldn't hear him. I could barely see him. They were perfect for what he was going to do that night.
After he put his other clothes in a hamper, the ones that were bloodied from the house, he stopped and looked at me. "Are you going to stop me?"
I was torn inside and I didn't know what to say, much less do. All I knew is that I couldn't move or stop him so I remained there while he left, after he left. Then I curled in a ball on his bed with my eyes wide open and waited for him to come back.
Sometime later, my eyes snapped open. I didn't know how long I had stayed there or been asleep, but I lifted my head and saw someone in the doorway. It wasn't Kellan so I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and asked, "How is she?"
Vespar didn't move from the doorway. He remained on the top step of the stairs. "He went to take care of Cavanagh?"
"You know he did," I sighed.
He jerked his head up and down in an awkward nod. Guilt seemed to consume him. "Good."
"Why didn't you come to help? She must've called you first."
"I can't do what he can."
His answer was simple, but I felt there was more to it. "How is she?"
He answered this time. "She's...I put her out. I put her to sleep. She can't handle what she did."
"She's not as dark as you."
"Nor you," he shot back. "You act like you're above us because you don't use your powers, but you'd do the same she did. Probably more. You can't control yourself any better than Gus can—at least she can control her powers on a normal day."
I stood now. "Do you really want to be threatening me?"
He opened his mouth, but Kellan appeared behind him. He jerked him backwards and threw him down the stairs. As Vespar fell over the last step and stopped on the second floor, Kellan warned him, standing above him, "Do not say anything more. You should've been there and you know it. Go to her. Take care of her now. At least do that."
Vespar looked at me, angry, as I stood in Kellan's bedroom door, looking down on them.
"Don't!" Kellan warned again and then swept back up the stairs. He took my hand, dragged me inside, and locked his door behind us.
"Why are you—" I started to ask.
He threw me on the bed. "You don't either. We are going to sleep and do nothing, say nothing."
My mouth hung open, but I closed it when saw his eyes in the moonlight. They were stark, in pain. Then he threw his clothes to the corner and started to come to the bed. His eyes caught mine, saw something in them, and then he cursed before he grabbed a pair of boxers. Slipping them on, he crawled underneath his sheets and then laid there. Fatigued.
It didn't feel right being there so I started to get up. "I'm going to go to my room."
He caught my hand and pulled me back. "Don't. Please. I need you here tonight."
A note was in his voice that I'd never heard before. It pulled at me and I found myself crawling under his sheets with him. His hand held mine and he turned his head to rest on my shoulder. As his eyes closed, I felt him fall asleep almost immediately. I stayed awake, watching him for the rest of the night.