Farkle POV
"Dude, are we ever going to talk about what's happening?" I asked Lucas as we waited outside Marie's pizzeria.
This was the first time in awhile we'd hung out alone. In all honesty I was avoiding him. How can a person look at someone they care about and lie to their face.
He gave me a funny look,
"What do ya mean? Nothing's happening? Everything's fine."
"Oh really? Look around, Lucas! What's missing?"
He looked super lost. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Our friends you moron!!!" I said frustrated, "We're falling apart and you don't seem to care!"
He glared at me,
"Don't ever say that, Minkus. I do care. More then you'll ever know."
"Then why are we not with them? Why aren't we with Riley and Zay? Why aren't Riles and Maya talking and why are you not talking to the girl you really love?" I was yelling now and people were beginning to stare.
"Look Farkle, Maya and Riley got into a fight they'll get over it. And Riley and I..." he stopped and cleared his throat, "Our group is just changing."
I noticed he didn't deny that Riley was the girl he really loved and that got me even more angry.
"Lucas. If you're in love with her, then why are you still with Maya?"
"I love her too..."
"Not the way you clearly love Riley Eleanor Matthews and not the way..." I stopped myself quickly. I realized I was about to say, 'not the way I love her.' Lucas didn't seem to notice he was staring at the ground.
"I don't want to hurt her," he said sadly, "and I can't lose another friend. I've already lost R..Riley." He choked out her name holding back his emotions. I felt a pang in my heart.
"You didn't lose her Lucas," I reasoned, feeling the guilt eat away at me. I had to tell him about me and Maya, "Lucas," he looked at me, "Maya and I..."
"Order for Lucas and Farkle," the waiter called.
We grabbed our food and Lucas asked about an upcoming project. The moment had passed. I was still lying to my best friend.
.............................................................................
I looked at the clock for the 10th time in the last 3 minutes. It read 1:59 am. She said she'd be here by 2 o'clock sharp. She was always on time and I could hardly wait. My heart felt like it could race out of my chest. I jumped off my bed as soon as I heard the elevator ding. There she stood gorgeous and pink from the cold night air. As soon as she saw me she ran and leaped into my arms. I held her tight as I carried her into my room locking the door behind us.
"I missed you," I breathed heavily.
"Shut up," she giggled bringing her lips to mine.
We just fit; like to perfect puzzle pieces. She was the wild child, and I was the nothing genius. We were totally different but yet so alike in the ways that mattered. She was the one person I would never be able to get enough of.
As our lips moved in synch I pushed us down onto the bed causing her to laugh. Her laugh, her smile, I never wanted this to end. But what was this? That's when I felt that pang again. That knot that kept reminding me that my girl wasn't really mine. She was my best friends girlfriend.
"Farkle," she whispered against my lips.
I looked into her eyes hovering over her.
"I want this," she said, "I want to do this with you."
PANIC!!!!!!!!!!
"Maya," I groaned rolling off of her so we both faced my ceiling, " We can't."
"Why not we love each other and we're going to be together forever right!?"
I smiled at the thought and turned to face her.
"As much as I would love that, you're still dating Lucas, which I've chosen not to question, so that would make that whole situation worse. Plus were only 15 almost 16, do you think we're ready for that?"
She sighed,
"We're mature young adults. We could handle it. And you know I would be with you if I wasn't worried about breaking Ranger Ricks heart."
I understood where she was coming from but I wished she was all mine.
"I'll tell you what," I said rolling back so I was on top of her, " After we fix our group and you break up with Lucas and Cara beats her cancer, then when we're officially together, I'll be with you in whatever way you want."
Her eyes sparkled,
"Really?"
I nodded kissing her forehead and then her cheeks. Her nose, her lips and I moved down to her neck. Moans escaped her lips as I found a spot she really liked. I won't lie it was super hard to stop. I just wanted to make her happy. But our priorities were currently elsewhere.
Lucas POV
I waited for Cara outside the doctors office patiently. This was probably the 20th one I've been to since her parents always seemed to have work. My mind drifted back and forth between missing Riley, our broken group, and worrying about Cara. When had everything gotten so complicated. I checked my watch. I usually took her on our lunch and free period and right now we had 20 minutes to get back to school, if she even felt good enough to go. Thank goodness I'd gotten my license already. I saw Cara exit and hug the doctor who smiled at her sadly telling her something. She nodded and walked to me.
"Hey everything okay?" I asked.
She looked at me with kind eyes and just nodded. My best friend had changed so much in the last four months. She had lost a ton of weight and her tan skin was slowly losing its color. Yet I could still see that girl I'd made friends with so easily on that first day of high school. She was still so beautiful.
"Cars somethings wrong I can feel it."
"Let's get back to school and I'll tell you there," she said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
I agreed reluctantly. I was just glad she felt good enough to go to school. She was doing a program that was flexible for her health needs, so she wasn't really at school very often.
When we got there the halls were empty and I couldn't wait any longer.
"K Car, what's going on."
She sighed,
"So I'm done with chemo."
"That's great!" I exclaimed trying to hug her, "That means it worked right?"
She sighed pushing me away,
"Luke, I've chosen not to continue them. Because.....cus they're not working."
Time seemed to stand still,
"What does that mean?"
She didn't respond.
"Cara?" I exclaimed as the sinking feeling in my stomach grew, "What does that mean!?!
"I got around 5 months and I intend to live it to the fullest," she continued like I hadn't said anything, "So I'm going to California."
I was processing what she was saying slowly.
Not continuing with treatments?
5 months?
California?
"Cara, are you....." I couldn't even finish the sentence. She just smiled sadly. What was left of my crumbling heart fell and I turned and punched a locker.
I don't really remember what happened next.
I felt little pain but all I saw was red.
Texas Lucas.
"Lucas?" I heard a voice say.
I kept going.
Then arms wrapped around my torso. I knew before I even saw that it was her. My calming influence. I stopped and looked at the damage i'd done.
Bloody knuckles and an unhinged locker.
Sobs racked my body as I collapsed to the floor. She never let me go.
My Riley.
I looked at her finally and her eyes shine with tears and concern.
I looked for Cara. She just stood there tears streaming down her always happy face.
"I...I..." I stuttered. Cara shook her head smiling a little.
"It's okay. I'd do the same thing if it were you."
I looked at Riley.
"Where did you come from?"
She looked at me sadly,
"I heard you. And I knew something happened."
"How..."
"I knew. I always know."
I stared into those big brown eyes I'd missed so much. If it weren't for all this I would have kissed her right there. Just being able to have her so close made me feel so much better.
"Cara..." I tried to explain but Riley just shook her head. Her eyes knowing.
"I miss you," I whispered.
Her face was unreadable at first but then it softened.
"I...I miss you too," she whispered back her voice cracking before getting up. Instantly I ached for the warmth of her arms as I watched her walk away. I sat there for awhile before realizing Cara had sat down next to me.
"Well at least you know she doesn't hate you," she giggled.
I gave her a sad look. He smile fell.
"Lucas, it's going to be okay. I promise."
"How is it going to be okay? How are you still so happy?"
She sighed and thought for a moment before responding,
"Because I have you. And Riley, Zay, Maya, Farkle. I have the best group of friends in the world. You guys have kept me alive for a lot longer then doctors thought I would. You guys keep me going. You, Lucas, have been the best friend I have ever had. And even though i haven't done everything I've wanted to do in this life, you've helped me see what life could be like."
"Aren't you mad? Why aren't you angry?"
"I'm a lot of things, Luke, but angry isn't one of them. I've just learned to accept things the way thy are. I wish a lot of things could change before I actually kick the bucket," she joked.
"It's not funny," I whisper.
She nods,
"Come here."
I scoot closer and she wraps her arms around me. It's not the same feeling as when Riley does it but it's still familiar, comfortable, like home. I was going to lose one of the most important people in my life. And I couldn't do anything about it.
"You can't save me," she whispered like she was reading my mind.
I nodded letting the tears fall.
I refuse to let her die.
Not before she's done living.
Not before I make things right.