Chapter 10 - "I wanted an excuse to take you out."
On Saturday, I was walking down the high street when I noticed Nathan sitting in a coffee shop. Being tall and broad, he was hard to miss. Even though I knew I shouldn't go over to him—I was supposed to be mad at his interfering—I couldn't help but offer to hear him out.
Crossing the street, I headed towards the café and pushed open the transparent glass door, immediately being hit by the strong aroma of coffee and baking. As I approached Nathan's table, I noticed he was reading a newspaper in Italian.
"Aren't you supposed to be pissed at me?" Nathan asked, without looking up.
I jumped, surprised that he'd noticed me when he seemingly hadn't even lifted his eyes from the paper.
"Well, yes," I said. "But I wanted you to at least explain."
He eventually looked up at me, fixing those twinkling eyes onto mine, and gestured to the seat opposite him.
"Can I buy you a drink?" he offered.
"That line still won't work on me."
"Suit yourself."
I eyed his own drink. "Is that an espresso?" I tipped my chin towards at the tiny mug sitting upon an equally tiny saucer.
"Yes. I grew accustomed to them in Italy."
"I don't get the point. Aren't they like a shot? How are you supposed to enjoy your coffee if you just down it in one go?"
His lips twitched as he glanced up at me. "You don't down it in one. It still gives you a kick, though. A caffeine rush."
I wasn't convinced but sat down opposite him anyway, scanning the headline of his newspaper to see if my knowledge of Spanish could help me to translate the Italian.
"I didn't realise you knew Italian," I told him.
"I lived there for a year," he reminded me, turning his eyes back to his paper. "I picked some up. I'm by no means fluent. But I can understand it and read it. Not so good at speaking it though."
This was a conversation that I could have for hours, but I remembered why I'd come in here to begin with.
"What's going on with you and Kat?" I asked directly, deciding not to beat around the bush.
"Why?" he asked in a casual tone, while his eyes continued flickering across the page as he scanned the article he was reading. "Are you jealous?"
I tried to keep my calm, not appreciating the teasing when I was trying to have a serious conversation.
"No. I am not jealous. I'm curious."
He finally looked up to meet my eyes. "There's nothing 'going on'," he said, using air quotations to emphasise his point. "I don't even like her that much, if I'm perfectly honest. Thought I made that clear during our picnic."
"Yes. The picnic that she told you to go on."
"That's not exactly how it went, but why does it matter? We clearly have very different recollections of that picnic."
"Because I trusted you," I said, "and that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever since you've got trouble written all over you, but I trusted you. Then it turns out that the only reason you were hanging around was because she'd told you to."
Several tense seconds passed as we stared at each other. Just when I was beginning to feel self-conscious under his intense gaze, he started talking.
"Okay, you feel betrayed, I get that. But you've misunderstood the whole situation. I met you before I met her. Do you remember our conversation in the bar?"
"Of course I remember it. How could I forget it?"
He flipped the pages of his newspaper shut and folded his hands together on top of it.
"I liked you long before I got to know Katrina. If anything, I find her irritating. But, even from that first day, I saw how messed up your relationship is. Maybe it's not messed up to you, but how can a relationship be so great if from everyone else's point of view it's messed up?"
I lowered my eyes, understanding his point. It was easy for him to say, though; he wasn't emotionally-invested in the relationship.
"I'd never try to interfere, Bella," Nathan said softly. "I wasn't trying to trick you on Saturday, or use a different method to get you to split up with him. I was trying to show you how much more exciting your life could become. When was the last time Matt took you somewhere romantic? When did he last do something romantic? I'm not gonna be like Katrina and tell you what to do. That has to be your decision. I'm a firm believer in people making their own decisions—that way there are no regrets or what ifs."
"You want me to make my own decision, but you're trying to speed up how I get there."
He considered this, cocking his head to the side as he did so. "You'll get there eventually. Well, I hope you do, anyway. I just don't want you getting hurt."
"Getting hurt is going to be inevitable," I told him. "Even if I did decide to break up with Matt... Even if something awful happened, like he cheated on me, or he did something else unforgiveable, and I decided to break up with him... it would still hurt. I'd still be thinking about the good times."
"That comes with splitting up," Nathan said with a shrug. "It's difficult and there's no two ways about it. But you come out stronger. And you start to realise what you've been missing out on. Then, soon enough, you'll realise it was worth it. One door shuts, two doors open and all that jazz."
"So, if altruism apparently played such a huge part in this, why did you listen to Katrina when she suggested taking me out?"
He sighed and scratched his head, looking out of the window across the café. "It wasn't completely altruistic. I had an ulterior motive."
"I thought so. What did she promise you?"
He raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. "Is Katrina really the type to offer me sexual favours just for taking you out?"
I blushed, realising he'd misunderstood. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I just assumed she might have said something that encouraged you to do it."
"I wanted an excuse, Bella. I wanted an excuse to take you out. Katrina provided me with one."
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but then he cast his eyes back towards the window and pressed his lips together.
"I thought I made it clear that we can only be friends," I said. "I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression or led you on."
"You haven't. I knew where I stood. But I still wanted to take you out, and I could settle for a friendly date in place of a romantic one."
When had I ever been asked on a date? I hadn't. I was sitting opposite a guy who wanted to take me out. He wanted to impress me. He wanted to do something romantic. When had Matt ever done anything romantic just for me? When had he ever put himself out for me?
"Look, Bella, I don't wanna make things weird. I know the score. But you came in here looking for answers and I wasn't going to lie to you. At least now you know where I stand."
"Thank you." My mouth suddenly felt dry, and when I swept my tongue across my lips, Nathan's eyes followed the movement. "I appreciate your honesty."
He picked up his coffee and offered it to me. "Are you sure you don't want to try it before it goes cold? Experience something else new?"
"I'm good. Thanks."
"And us? Are we good?" he asked, raising an eyebrow for clarification.
"Yeah. We're good," I replied, smiling to reassure him.
I remembered something else he'd said to me on Saturday, about life being too short to make big deals out of everything. He was just one of those people who took everything in his stride. He was refreshing to be around and, just like he said he was hoping to do, he gave me a fresh outlook on things.
"Are you gonna patching things up with Kat?" he then asked me.
"Yeah, I guess. She's been my best friend for a very long time and falling out at this age just seems silly. It just infuriates me how she constantly goes on about Matt. She knows I hate it. She knows that no matter how many times she encourages me to break up with him, I'm not gonna do it. I need a reason, Nathan. I can't just break up with him for no reason, otherwise I'll regret it forever."
"No, I get that. You need to feel secure in your decision otherwise you'll forever wonder about what could have been. And, obviously, it'd be harder to get over them."
After taking a final sip of his coffee, he set the mug back onto the coaster and pushed it to one side. His thumb brushed at the corner of his mouth.
"Maybe you should have a frank chat with Katrina about why she's so keen you break up. You should explain what you just said to me, about how you'd need a proper reason."
"She probably fancies him or something," I joked. "I find it hard to believe it's just because she cares about me."
"It shouldn't be so hard to believe."
"I know. I was joking. There's no way she likes Matt. She can barely stay in the same room as him."
As a waitress stopped by the table to collect Nathan's mug, she asked if I wanted anything, no doubt noticing that I'd waltzed in and sat down without buying anything. I ordered a tea to go and rose from my chair.
"What are you doing today?" Nathan asked, standing up and folding the newspaper under his arm. "Shopping?"
"I had some things I needed to get from town. I saw you in here and couldn't..."
"Couldn't resist coming to talk to me?" he finished for me with a teasing smile.
"I needed to know about you and Katrina," I stated, not rising to the banter.
"Well, I can assure you that there's nothing going on."
"I believe you. So what have you got on today?"
He shrugged. "I suppose I ought to go home and do some homework. It's all piling up. But instead I might go for a drive."
"A drive where?"
"Anywhere."
"Mysterious. Do you often go for drives anywhere?"
"Yep. Once ended up in London. It took the fun out of it since it took almost four hours to get back out of the city."
I raised an eyebrow. "Is that a true story?"
He winked. "See you on Monday, Bella."
"Enjoy your drive."
I watched him walk away, and as soon as he left the café I scraped a hand through my hair. My head was spinning with everything that had just happened in the last twenty minutes. I wasn't even dating Nathan, and yet he'd made more of an effort with me than Matt ever had. What did that say? More about Nathan? More about Matt? Or more about my choice in men?
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Thank you for reading :)xx