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I took a deep breath. I was shaking viciously, and I’m pretty sure I had to pee. Jayleen—the woman jumping with me—yelled across the airplane to me.
“We’ve got about 30 seconds!”
I climbed over to her and turned around so that she could strap me to a harness on the front of her body. A man with a bald head pulled open the door and we waddled on over. Jayleen turned her back to the opening and I stared at the man who was counting down from ten on his fingers. When he got to two, Jayleen squeezed my arm and then pushed off backwards, into the sky. Gravity seemed to have no existence as we floated for a mere moment, hanging thousands of feet above the earth, my stomach felt weightless in my body before it hit my back and did several flips as gravity took shape.
Jayleen screamed in excitement as we soared through the air, and I opened my mouth to do the same. Only, as my lips parted, the air caught in my cheeks and it came out as a morphed laugh. I shrieked with delight.
Wind whipped my cheeks and arms as our bodies plummeted down to the earth, clouds wisped by us on our decent.
Down below, I could see dirt, foliage and a whole lot of chaos. I wondered what had really happened. I mean, I understand the Hurricane and whatnot, but what had it been like to be there?
“Are you ready, girl?!” Jayleen yelled into my ears.
“Yeah, baby!!” I screamed excitedly.
Jayleen reached down and pulled the cord that released the parachute. A brief moment lapsed before air caught in the huge blue tarp and I almost bit my tongue from the force that it yanked back with.
I yelled out with ecstasy as it allowed us to float down to the ground.
“What do you think?” Jayleen asked as we drifted. Her voice was scratchy from screaming so much.
I took a moment to catch my breath. “Oh my gosh!” I said. “That was amazing!!”
The thrill that I had just experienced was beyond my imagination. I couldn’t believe I had just jumped out an airplane!!!
I tried to capture all the beauty of the landscape and hills that I could see right now, but I knew that it would just be a quick shadow of a memory in a few days. But then, Jayleen held something in front of me and a bright light blinded me momentarily.
I blinked and saw the camera that she had been holding. It was my mothers! I looked back at the woman behind me. Her hair was tied back in a pony tail, but little wisps flew about her smiling face.
“Your Mom had me video tape the entire thing!”
Something closed in my throat, and I swallowed it. The tears burning my eyes, but not penetrating the surface. I grinned back at her and smiled for the next photo she took of the both of us.
The jump had lasted too short of a time for me, and I looked up to the sky as Jayleen unbuckled us from the harnesses.
“You miss the sky already, huh?” She asked, knowingly.
I looked at her. She had been on hundreds of jumps and knew the feeling of flying—being free. I smiled and nodded.
“It was just breath taking!” I exclaimed.
Jayleen looked at me for a moment before speaking. “I read your blog, Molly. And…I gotta say,” She paused, tears peaking her eyes. Why is it everywhere I go, people begin to cry? “my father died of cancer. He fought a very different battle than what you’re fighting. He gave up.” She shook her head, biting her lip.
“You don’t have to tell me…” I said softly, taking a step towards her.
“No.” She pleaded. “I want to. I don’t want to see anyone go through that again. He gave up and immediately his health plummeted. Don’t give up, Molly.”
I stared at her. I hadn’t even considered my life a battle, but I suppose it could be that…
Jayleen nodded past me. “Your ride is here.”
I looked behind me and saw a white and blue bus pulling up to the side of the field that we had landed in.
I looked back at her and hugged her. “Thanks for making this possible for me! You’re helping me fulfill this dream.”
She pulled away and held me shoulders. “You’re making so many dreams come true. I showed my niece your blog. And she’s now busy making bracelets and selling them at her high school, in your name!”
“Wha—“ I was cut by the bus honking for me. I sighed and said goodbye to Jayleen, thanking her again and taking the camera.
I trudged through the tall grass and climbed aboard the bus after waving goodbye to Jayleen.
The bus started moving once I sat down, but before we had gone too far, we stopped again. The doors opened and everybody craned their necks to see what the cause of the abrupt halt was. Jayleen’s head popped into the bus and she searched all the faces before her gaze fell upon me. I stood and met her half way down the isle. She pulled me into a firm embrace.
“Fight till the end. I’m glad I could be a part of your life.” And then she left.
* * * * *
“Molly! Grab the first aid kit! Make sure it has wrapping in it! I need it pronto!” A man—Timothy, our director for the trip yelled to me. I went to the tubs beside the bus and rummaged around before finding the white tin box with a red cross on it. I snatched it, opened it quickly, and, finding it had wrapping in it, ran over to where Timothy sat with a small boy.
The boy’s arm was bent at an odd angle which couldn’t mean anything other than a broken arm. They had a splint already, and they pulled it into place tightly. The boy screamed out in pain and tears ran down his dark face. My heart pounded. I needed to help.
“Does he know English?” I asked Timothy who was busy trying to make the child hold still.
“No, but I translate.” A man next to Timothy stepped forward. I nodded acknowledgement.
I took hold of the boy’s uninjured hand. I smiled at him. He had big brown eyes. I licked my chapped lips, not sure how to start. The boy screamed again as they began to wrap the splint.
“Hey, hey!” I said, the man beside me translate hastily. “It’s alright! They’re going to make it better!”
The boy cried out again, this time, I heard something of a word. I looked to the translator quickly.
“He said they aren’t making it better. They are hurting him more.”
I looked back at the boy who still cried out in agony. He thrashed his legs and it took two people just to hold him still.
“Look, I know it hurts now, but it will feel better in a few days! If they don’t do this—“
“Don’t try to explain it, Molly,” Timothy said preoccupied. “That just makes him dwell on it. Talk about you. Make it interesting.”
Me? Me. Right. I can do that.
“What’s his name?” I asked the translator who asked the boy.
“Emile…” The boy murmured.
I repeated the name and smiled as he looked up at me. “Do you like monkeys?” I asked him. He looked at the translator funny.
“He doesn’t know what a monkey is.”
My jaw almost dropped open. He didn’t know what a monkey was? “This is what a monkey is,” I said.
I backed up and squatted down, walking around on my knuckles. I made monkey “ooh”s and grunted. I scratched my armpits in imitation of what I had seen Krieg do multiple times before. And before I knew it, I was lost in a world where he was actually there. It was more of a memory, of a time where I had had free time at the zoo and had played around with him.
The gorilla had hit a fist to his chest quickly when he had caught a bouncey ball I had tossed to him.
“Oh, you think you’re so cool? I can do that too!” I had pronounced and pounded both my fists on my chest, to prove to him that I could be like him.
I smiled at the memory and stood on my bent legs and puffed up my chest and beat it repeatedly with my balled hands.
Not only was Emile smiling and watching me, but so were another dozen other children, standing around watching me, laughing, pointing, and clapping at my performance.
I took hold of some dirt beneath me, like I had seen Krieg do with dirt, and threw it up in the air, running in circles under it.
That made Emile crack a laugh as the paramedics finished his arm bandage. But I continued, enjoying the precious moment. I found a cut up branch, about as big around as my thigh, and grabbed it. I threw it on the ground, grunted and then grabbed it again. This time, I held it as a cane, held one end of it, and stood up on two legs as an ape would, and stood like a king, looking about majestically, puffing out my chest and propping my arm on my hip.
A roar of laughter and giggles ran through the crowd around me that had grown ever bigger, and a true feeling of joy ran through me. I smiled and let go of the stick and bowed. Kids ran up to me and hugged me, clapping and giggling the entire time. I felt as though I was glowing, I was so happy, I felt as though I could cry.
I looked up and saw Timothy and other members of the Mission Trip watching me and smiling. It made me feel good. I knew this had been a good idea—coming here.
* * * * * *
It was 4:00 AM and we had gotten up at 3:00AM to begin making food for the workers and their families. An organization called “Kids Against Hunger” had sent boxes full of a rice and grain mixture that was incredibly easy to make and tasted pretty good. All you had to do was dump the mix into boiling water for 20 minutes and bam! It’s ready to be served.
We had ten pots total. Five were serving pots while the other five were making more of the food. A lot of men—old and young—came through the line. They were workers that went around helping with any housing that they could fix, and bringing aid to those in need.
They shuffled through the line, hardly uttering a greeting. They all looked so sad, heartbroken. It hurt to even watch them. And then I had an idea. I took a deep breath, pouring a scoop of grain/rice into a man’s bowl. I began to hum. And then I sang for the first time to an audience.
“Tell everybody I’m on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes I’m on my way
And there’s no where else I’d rather be”
The words to Phil Collins’ song “I’m on my Way” always brought a smile to my face no matter what was going on, and today was no exception. After the first verse a woman to my left joined in.
“Tell everybody I’m on my way.
And I’m loving every step I take
With the sun beating down, yes I’m on my way
And I can't keep this smile off my face”
And the song continued and even when it was finished, we continued to sing, and smiles appeared on the faces of the men coming through for food. They spoke to one another now and to us as well.
A few hours later, I found myself standing in the same spot, still serving breakfast now to the teens, and children of the small village.
The line was slimming down now, and I was getting very tired of standing in the same position for this long, when a girl came up to me, frantically yelling in Haitian.
“Vini non! Vini non rapid! Noubezwen ou! Vini non!”
The girl had long black hair and a beautiful face, but I had no clue what she had said. I frantically looked at the translator, but he was busy speaking to some villagers. The girl pulled at my arms, she was my age, so was strong enough to tug at me. Looking back at Timothy, I motioned to the girl, and he nodded. Telling me to go with her.
I allowed her to pull me with her, all the while, she was urgently speaking to me. The girl took me to the beach and led me to the water. Fear gripped me. Was someone drowning?! I searched the waves to look for a flailing body, but there were none. Just more teenagers sitting in the water, still in their clothes, splashing around and having fun. The girl pulled me into the water, a smile creeping up her face as she spoke to me. And something told me she had planned to make me come have fun the entire time. I smiled back at her.
The other teens laughed and began to splash the ocean water at me, soaking me with salty water. They brought me deeper into the water until I was chin deep in the ocean. This was amazing. The kids around me all had enormous smiles on their faces. And I thought; How can they be so happy with so little? When their homes are destroyed, their families broken?
And it hit me. It doesn’t matter what you have. It matters what you make of it.
Something wrapped around my legs then; I screamed, terrified of any kind of sea-creature coming to harm me. Then, a person lifted me on top of his shoulders and I sat out of the water, with five people around me having the time of their lives, without having “it all”. And I felt something within me. Something moved and it made me happy. I recall one of my Catholic Second-Grade teachers telling me about Joy. And I was certain right then, that I was experiencing joy. Not only did I feel great on the outside, but the inside was like a sunny rainbow. I absolutely loved it.