A/N Thanks to all the wonderful comments and votes!! Sorry it took so long, I've been distracted. But heres a long chapter to make it up to you!
Dedication goes to 0814Mackenzie because her theory of why the lyrics to Cellar Door are relevant with Dis and Ronnies relationship
And also, sorry for any mistakes, I'm not going to proofread it right now so I can release it quicker!
Enjoy, comment, vote
Chapter 3 - I'm in a new city with a new friend and my new enemy.
Dis POV
"How did this get here?" I asked as I ran my fingers over the glossy paint that covered the heavily blacked out Escalade.
"I have connections!" Ronnie exclaimed, unlocking the doors.
I opened the door and scoffed. "I didn't know that Falling In Reverse was 'connections'." I mused,
"They always have been, their ninjaness was always hidden though." Ronnie said seriously, starting the vehicle.
"Ryan is the opposite of sneaky or secretive."
"How do you figure?" Ronnie tilted his head to the side, looking at me confused for a moment before pulling out of the parking spot.
"I know he has a thing for me and that he's mad that you are with me." I said, my voice empty as I looked out of the window.
"How did you find that out?"
"It's obvious." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm guessing you heard us talking the day of prom?" He asked quietly, I flinched at the mention of prom but still nodded.
"Thought so..." Ronnie trailed off.
"Nuh-huh! You had no idea, you thought I was sleeping." I teased.
"Fine, you got me." Ronnie threw his hands up momentarily before he grabbed the steering wheel.
"Tomorrow I meet with my band.." I sighed,
"And Kevin!" Ronnie pointed out.
"Yep. So where is my stuff gunna go?" I asked.
"The guest room, duh."
I rose a brow at him and he laughed and shook his head, "You go in my room, your stuff goes in the guest room." He rephrased.
"You make me sound like I'm a toy." I breathed out.
"Oh you are." Ronnie joked suggestively.
I shook my head and closed my eyes until I felt the tires stop moving and I looked out the window to see we were at the house. I smiled slightly and got out, stretching and grabbing my carry on bag and my one suitcase, letting Ronnie get the other one.
I waited by the door for him to unlock it, I closed my eyes for a moment.
'Dissy!' I heard a little girl screech, her voice echoing in my head like bells, I snapped my eyes open and looked around. Nothing. I took in a deep breath and let it out.
"You okay?" Ronnie asked as he unlocked the door, I nodded and didn't meet his eyes.
"Can I take a nap?" I asked after we walked in.
"Of course, you don't have to ask me babe." He kissed me on my forehead and led me into his room, showing me where I could put my stuff.
"Have a good nap, I'm gunna be gone for a bit, I have to go get Charlie." Ronnie said and I nodded, peeling back the blankets and slipping off my shoes, I got all curled up before I noticed Ronnie leaning against the doorway still.
"What?" I asked quietly.
"Nothing." He smiled. "Love you."
"Love you too."
He smiled softly to himself before he walked away.
I heard the door click before I slid out of the bed and grabbed my carry on bag, I opened it and pulled out the bottle and smiled slightly, and I grabbed my razor from my bag and set up shop at the desk. 2 pills, crushed up to a fine powder and a $20 bill from my pocket and soon I was lightheaded and laying on top the covers looking at the ceiling.
This, was low of me. And I hated myself for doing it. But its the right kind of wrong.
I swayed towards the kitchen, finding a monster in the fridge and I smiled. It was carefree, and light.
Like I was. I looked out the window to see him pull into the driveway, I widened my eyes and ran to the bedroom. He couldn't see me high. I hid everything that I had used back in my luggage and hid under the blanket.
I took in a deep breath before I worked on evening out my breathing.
I heard the door unlocking and Charlie running against the wooden floor and Ronnie laughing at the dogs enthusiasm to be back. His laugh was musical and pretty, and I closed my eyes letting myself drift off as I focused on my breathing. I could practically feel my heart slowing down and myself becoming so calm.
I was just about to fall asleep when the door opened, I tensed up slightly and focused on keeping still and acting like I was asleep.
And let me tell you, when you have drugs in your body and you want to jump around, it's pretty hard.
I felt him lay down next to me and pull me close to him by wrapping an arm around my midsection. I pretended to mumble in my sleep and I pressed my face into his chest and sighed.
"I know you're awake, Dis." He said lowly in my ear. I gulped and remained how I was, I was not going to show him how fucked up I was. I just couldn't.
I felt him play with my hair, and the act sent electric shocks down my spine. Everything felt heightened.
I felt lips press against mine, and I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back, at least I could keep my eyes closed. I ended pinned against the bed, Ronnie's hands under my shirt resting on my sides.
I tugged on his shirt, a black shirt that showed off his muscles that said 'Epitaph Records' on it.
I got it half way off before Ronnie pressed himself against me more so the shirt was trapped in between us.
I whined against his lips and arched my back into him, my hips pressing against his. Ronnie made a noise of appreciation and pleasure against my lips before he kissed down my jaw to my neck.
He pressed a rough kiss against my soft spot, making me moan softly. He sucked and nipped at it for a few moments before he broke away, attaching our lips in a heated kiss yet again. He broke away from my lips and his hands slipped further up sides, until they were right under my bra.
He pressed his forehead against mine and removed one of his hands to cup my cheek.
"Now I definitely know you're awake." He chuckled, I practically shivered against him. I wanted him, badly.
I sighed before I opened my eyes and pulled him closer to me so I could lean my forehead against his shoulder.
"What's going on?" He asked, suspicious.
"Nothing." I answered too quickly.
"Disarray..." He trailed off warningly. I flinched slightly.
"Hmm?" I asked.
"What's going on?" He asked slower, the words hitting me like bricks.
I felt tears well up in my eyes as I thought about how pissed he's going to be.
I could use this to my advantage!
I buried my face in his neck and let the tears take over. "I miss her." I cried.
"Aww baby." Ronnie cooed, sitting up and pulling me into his lap, both of us forgetting what we had been doing minutes before.
But the thing is, after I started crying, I couldn't stop. The tears turned into sobs and I was crying about everything, just getting it off my chest.
I hoped that this would help my eyes look like I was in La La Land.
I wiped the tears after the sobs subsided and I grew enough courage to look in his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes.
"Dis.." He sighed.
Fuck.
"You need to stop this. Right now. I'm not kidding. I don't care if you drink, hell I'll buy the fucking alcohol for you. I just can't have you drugged up." He moved me off of his lap and onto the bed, he stood up and I cowared back slightly.
"We are going out to dinner with the band. Get cleaned up." He was beyond pissed off. He stalked out of the room, closing the door roughly. I jumped at the sound.
I felt a pang in my chest and I put my face in my hands. I felt bad.
I sighed and stood up, I pulled on a colbalt dark blue dress and black stockings that went to my mid thigh, I slipped on some black heels and fingerless gloves. I looked at my hair in the mirror in the bathroom before I did my makeup again, it looks fine, straight and pretty.
I quickly did my make up flawlessly before I put everything back and walked out, looking at Ronnie cautiously. I met his eyes and he could see the underlying fear in my orbs and he sighed, walking over. I took a step back and I could see the pain in his face. He looked as if I had hurt him badly. I walked into his arms and hugged him tightly.
We stood there for a minute, tightly holding one another.
"Let's go, grab your purse and your monster." Ronnie smiled, nudging me lightly. I nodded and walked back into the room. I grabbed my black purse and the monster, taking a drink as I walked back out.
Ronnie grabbed it out of my hand gently and took a drink.
"Hey. That's mine!" I whined. He chuckled and handed it back to me, we walked out and got in his blacked out 2013 Cadillac cts-v with the corvette engine. Yes, I knew about cars. And this one, is beautiful.
"Where we going?" I asked.
"A italian resturaunt just a few miles away." He said. I nodded and watched as trees and people passed by. Soon, we were pulling into a place called Dolce.
The band must already be inside, I thought to myself as Ronnie opened my door.
"Thanks boo." I smiled and took his outstretched hand.
It was cool inside the resturaunt, a great feeling after being in the California sun.
We walked farther into the place to see the band sitting around a circular table. I sat next to Jacky and Ronnie, swirling around the straw that was in my water.
The waiter came by with a bottle of wine, I watched him as he held it gently but tightly.
"Would any of you like a glass of wine with your meal?" He asked, a slight Italian accent lacing his words.
Ronnie looked at me and sighed, nodding his head.
"Yes, please." He said to the Italian.
The boys and my reaction were all the same, Ronnie was going to drink? Damn I must of hurt him more than I thought.
I looked down at the table sadly. I'm so stupid.
I saw the bottom of a wine glass being sat in front of me and Ronnie's hand on my leg, he leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"It'll calm you down, drink up." He pressed a kiss below the corner of my lips before pulling away, keeping his hand on my leg. I watched it closely as I gracefully picked up the glass and brought it to my lips. I leaned the glass upward slightly just as Ronnie's hand floated higher on my thigh. I coughed and took a sip of wine, his hand warm against my skin.
His tattooed fingers rubbed circles on my inner thigh. Jacky looked over at me questioningly but I shook my head.
"I had a tickle in my throat, I'm okay." I lied effortlessly as Ronnie moved his hand up another inch.
He was too crafty at this, his arm looked as if it was sitting on his chair or just on his lap, not invading my personal space.
He moved his hand to rub against my hip and his finger brushed up against my lower stomach. I made noises with my mouth as I laced my hand with his, stopping his exploring.
I took a drink of my wine with a smile, feeling his eyes on me. I looked over at him, my blue eyes meeting his brown ones.
"Yes?" I smiled.
"Nothing, you just look beautiful." He said, and I could tell he wasn't lying, it was the truth. A blush highlighted my cheeks and I leaned over to press my lips against his in a light peck.
"Aww!" Derek cooed at us, fishing out his phone from his pocket.
"No! No pictures!" I giggled at him.
"Yes! Yes pictures! Please, just one?" Derek pouted, his eyes becoming slightly watery and wide.
"Fine.." I groaned.
"You're like a child." Ronnie laughed, the comment directed towards Derek.
Derek mocked him before he gestured for us to get closer together. "Just kiss the woman!" He ordered Ronnie after we had moved closer to each other in a simpler way, our heads close, eyes locked on the camera lens. Smiles adorning our faces.
I turned to Ronnie and put my right hand on his cheek, my left still entangled in his hand. His left hand brushed against the small of my back before we kissed each other. The familiar tingle and electric shock ran from his body to mine, and it made me want to never stop kissing him.
I heard a subtle 'click' and Derek's joy at the picture, showing it to the other boys, but we didn't look, we were too busy in our own little world.
The kiss turned more passionate, our lips moving in sync together, us pulling each other closer.
After a few moments and when I was practically in his lap, Ron cleared his throat. "Um guys.. Don't fuck each other on the table, please?"
I broke away, my lips instead of feeling warm felt cold and slightly swollen from the lip locks.
We shared a smile and one last soft kiss before we got situated again, I looked around the table to see Ryan missing.
"Where did Ryan go?" Ronnie asked, noticing the missing member of his band.
"The bathroom, I think.." Ron trailed off, looking around the room for his partner in crime. Me and Ronnie shared a look, we knew why Ryan left. I shivered slightly, the cool blast from the A/C creating goosebumps on my arms. Ronnie noticed my issue before he excused himself from the table and walking out.
"Where is he going?" Derek asked from across the table. I rubbed my arms and shrugged.
"I have no idea where Mr. Wolf is going."
Ronnie returned a minute later, a black leather jacket in his hand. I watched as he walked back, his head held high, his red skinny jeans almost dangerously low on his hips, his boots matched his belt, both white, and his Epitaph shirt still hiding his abdomen. He sat down, putting the coat on my shoulders like in a romance movie. I smiled and stuck my arms into the holes, it was baggy on my but I could feel instant warmth.
"Thanks." I said graciously, my eyes once again locked on his.
He smiled and pressed a kiss to my temple before striking up conversation with Ron. Ryan came back, walking slowly, not looking at me and Ronnie.
I let out a puff of air and leaned back in my seat, pulling the jacket closer to me.
"The service is shit here." Derek grumbled, playing with his napkin. It was true, we only got drinks, they still haven't even took our orders.
I nodded and leaned my head back, looking up at the ceiling.
"Lets go." Ronnie suggested and there was a few yes's from us and he threw a $20 on the table to pay for our drinks before we walked out.
I didn't mind, I didn't want to eat anyways.
"Well, we knows that Dis and Ronnie won't starve." Ryan smirked, I looked at him confused as Ronnie began laughing.
"Get it? You guys... Eat each other all the time." Derek grinned.
I blushed slightly and laughed, smacking Ryan on the back of his head. He caught my hand and pressed a kiss against my wrist. I rose a brow at him and he sighed and let me go.
"Hey Derek, you ride here with Ryan?" Ronnie asked, putting his arms around my waist from behind to pull me to him.
"Yea, why?"
"I want you to go into the liquor store with Dis." Ronnie said.
"Why?" Derek asked, walking closer, the chains and fake handcuffs that hung off of his second belt clinked together.
"She's having a bad time and she's taking OxyContin so I told her that she could drink if she gave that up."
Derek looked at me appalled, I gulped and looked down at the ground, kicking the concrete and chewing on the inside of my cheek, a nervous habit I have. I didn't want to be a slave to the drug, but I'm getting closer and closer to it.
"Dis..." Derek trailed off. I broke away from Ronnie's hold and slipped inbetween them, avoiding both of them as they tried to reach out and grab me. I popped the hood on the leather jacket and walked down the street, the setting sun my only beacon. After I got a block away I slipped off my heels and stuffed them in my slightly oversized purse and let the tears finally escape my eyes. People passed me like I didn't matter, like seeing a girl with piercings and tattoos crying in the middle of LA was normal. I ran a hand through my hair and wiped the tears away from eyes.
I don't need thier pity. I've been through enough.
"Dis!" I heard Derek yell, I looked over to see Ronnie's car stopped on the side of the street, Derek beaconing me forward. I didn't need them. I shook my head and turned around and ran. I ran far and quick, but that pretty little black car with the corvette engine easily caught up to me.
I ran into an abandoned parking lot and slid down a handicap parking spot sign, hanging my head and letting the tears break free.
'Dissy, don't cry.' I heard Val say in my ear. I closed my eyes tightly and covered my face with my hands. I heard tires on the slight gravely surface and I froze, until I heard the familiar clink of metal and another set of footsteps.
"Babe.." Ronnie trailed off, sitting next to me. Derek sat on the other side of me and grabbed my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. Ronnie leaned against me, putting his arm around my leg that was close to him and rested his hand on my knee. I stared forward, taking in all the people and the city as a whole.
"Disarray!" Ronnie yelled, I flinched and looked at him, my eyes dead.
"What?" I asked, my voice empty.
"You spaced out, I've been trying to talk to you for a few minutes." He looked at me concerned, but all I could manage was a nod before I looked forward again.
Everything was a roaring in my ears and I felt numb. I felt Ronnie pick me up, my head falling onto his shoulder almost lifelessly.
Derek grabbed my bag and put it in the backseat next to me, sparing me a sad look. I turned my face away from him, seeing Ronnie looking at me from his spot at the back seat door, I motioned him to come closer and when he did I pulled him close and kissed him roughly. I wanted this, I needed this.
He kissed back effortlessly, tangling one of his hands in my hair and the other wrapped around my waist, I stationed my hands around his neck so I could pull him closer.
I slowly leaned back onto the seat and pulled him with me, kissing his jaw down to his collarbone and back up to his lips. My hands slid down his neck and stomach to the edge of his shirt.
"We really shouldn't do this now." Ronnie whispered.
I groaned and let go of him, rolling over onto my side.
"Fine." I sighed, looking up at him.
"You just can't keep your hands off of me!" He smirked, chuckling. I flushed and shrugged.
"Sorry you're irresistible?" I said, it sounding like a question.
"Oh it's fine." He laughed before closing the door. He yelled for Derek, who had walked 10 yards away, not wanting to watch us.
Derek looked back at the car with a big smile on his face, he walked back and got in the passenger seat, looking back at me.
"How was the quickie?" Derek asked me.
"There wasn't one." I said, looking pointedly at the guy in red skinnies getting into the drivers seat.
"Aww, you couldn't get it up? There's medicine to help with that. I heard Viagra is the best." Derek said sympathetically to Ronnie.
Oh my fucking god! I laughed, muffling it with my hand.
"Don't worry Dis, if he can't get it up again you have my number, I'll rock your world." Derek joked. He was like a best friend to me.
"Ok, I'll remember that." I giggled.
"Oh you better not." Ronnie said in a sing-song voice, pulling out of the parking lot.
"She's mine now, allll mine!" Derek said like a little child.
I laid my head on the window as my phone beeped, I pulled it out of my bag and read the text.
Heyy chica. How r u? I hrd bout Dis. I'm sorry honey:( me and Jayy are always here for u!
-Dahvie
I smiled softly before I replied.
Hey D, I'm kinda iffy right now to be 100% honest wit u but I'm hanging in there:/ and thanks, ily 2
I put my phone in the jacket pocket and yawned. I watched as we pulled into Jerry's liquor store, I rose a brow and watched as Ronnie handed Derek some money.
"Don't let it look like you're buying it for her, say you and you're band is throwing a party if someone asks." Ronnie said, Derek nodded before getting out. I put my shoes back on and got out of the car, walking in with Derek.
We looked around for a while before deciding on some strawberry and watermelon wine coolers, blue raspberry vodka, 2 things of Jack Daniels, and a bottle of just vodka. The cashier rung everything up slowly, and I counted the gray hair that was just in his eye brows. He looked at us skeptically and Derek looked at him like 'wtf?!' to get him to stop.
He put the bottles into brown paper sacks, handing them to Derek after he paid. I walked out of the small store and into the wild life in California. The sunset looked beautiful as ever, but I paid no attention to it. I didn't have the time, I didn't want to 'stop and smell the roses'. I know what roses smell like and I knew what the sunset looked like. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. I was holding myself together for Ronnie's sake, I knew it would pain him so much to send me to rehab for the drug that had him in rehab.
We put the drinks in the trunk and got in the car, me back in the backseat. I hung my head slightly, listening to the music that played in the car.
We dropped Derek off and I moved to sit in the front with Ronnie, turning the music up a little.
'Just tonight I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right
And if I, I am through
It's all because of you
Just tonight'
Just Tonight by The Pretty Reckless. I turned down the music and turned to look at Ronnie.
If I had the guts, I would apologize to him. Say I was sorry for all the hell I'm probably putting him through. But, instead, I looked away from him and into the night. I felt him gently take my hand, squeezing it in his. I didn't even look at him, this was the way it was supposed to be I guess, a distressed damsel, struggling with life with her recovering addict boyfriend.
I wanted to escape, to feel less empty and gone. I closed my eyes and sighed out, the air leaving my lungs hurt, it hurt to breathe but there was no pain. If mentally hurt, to know that I took in a breath when it was the last thing I wanted.
My phone beeped and I pulled it out, answering it quickly.
"Hello?" My voice sounded strained and foriegn even to me.
"Hey, Disarray." Alice said, the words dripping out of her lips like honey, sickly sweet.
"What do you want?" I bit out. I heard her laugh, and I rolled my eyes.
"How is it fair that you get what I always wanted and deserved?"
"That's why you're being a bitch to me? Because you're jealous?"
"No. I'm not jealous. I'm pissed that you took what's rightfully mine! I won the contest! Did you ever think that I wanted to be in your place? With Ronnie? On Warped?" She almost yelled in my ear.
"You can have Warped, you can have my pass. I'm getting a band anyways. But Ronnie is mine." I growled.
"You're getting a band too?! What else? Mainstage?"
"Yep pretty much." I snapped.
"Of fucking course! Whatever. I'll be seeing you Anarchy." She snarled before hanging up.
"Who was that?" Ronnie asked.
"Alice. She's jealous." I sighed.
"Oh.. Bout what?" He asked quietly.
"Me being with you, me being on Warped and having a band on mainstage."
He pulled a face and shook his head. "She's being pathetic, don't worry about it."
I went on twitter, and deciding to tweet some people that had tweeted me.
@LiveLoveLaughhhh: I read that you joined Into The Dead Sky!! Eeep!! You will be great in it!
@MissDarkDis: @LiveLoveLaughhhh thanks! I haven't heard any of their stuff yet but I'm meeting them tomorrow! Wish me luck!
"My band is called Into The Dead Sky." I said to Ronnie.
"I heard about them! Their old vocalist had them signed to Rise but something happened. I'm not exactly sure what but they got kicked off the label and she left."
"So they're unsigned? How're they going on Warped?" I asked.
"Did I mention that most of their songs are covers?" He smiled.
"Again. How the hell?" I threw my arms up.
"They're good. Scary good actually, I'm surprised they aren't more famous then One Direction, teens just don't know good music sometimes." Ronnie chuckled.
"But that was with the old vocalist. I'm gunna be the odd one out!" I continued.
"You're gunna do great." Ronnie assured as I opened my twitter app again.
@ImJenniferP: wow. @LennoxOliver was a way better person for @ITDSOfficial then you will ever be. You can't even sing @MissDarkDis
My mouth fell into an 'o' shape and I quickly responded.
@ImJenniferP: I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'll try my best!
"This is going to be like the whole Craig and you hate thing isn't it?" I asked as we pulled into the driveway.
"What do you mean?"
"Lennox was the old vocalist, she got in trouble and left and I replaced her. Oh god I'm Craig in the situation." I whined as I got out of the car. Ronnie popped the trunk and helped me carry in the liquor.
"You're not Craig.. You're just... I got nothing." He laughed, I glared at him and stuck my tongue out at him, setting the bag on the counter.
I grabbed a strawberry wine cooler bottle, pouting when I struggled to open it. A hand reached out and popped the metal cap off.
"Thanks hun." I smiled, I was about to lift the bottle to my lips when it was taken out of my grasp and was sat on the counter.
I looked up at him in question only to be pushed into the counter and kissed roughly.
Clothes trailed from the kitchen to the bedroom, and an opened bottle of strawberry liquor sat on the counter, untouched.
The next morning after I showered and got ready to go to the meeting with Kevin and Into The Dead Sky, I walked into the kitchen to find the bottle was half drank.
I picked it up and looked at it then to the bedroom door where Ronnie was.
I walked into the room, confusion still on my face.
"Did you drink this? It was full last night." I asked softly.
"No, I fell asleep after sex." He said, and I could see the honesty in his eyes.
"I drank it." A female voice said from behind me. Alice.
Great. I'm in a new city with a new friend and my new enemy.