// I really like the quote sharing thing on wattpad idk what's wrong with me help I need a life //
dan
Dan feel frozen, who is this?
"Are you going to tell me or not?" The voice asks, "unless you'd rather stay in there."
"N-no. I-it's twenty, twelve and four," Dan stammers out.
Dan hears the click of the lock as its tugged open and when the metal door lets go of Dan's face, he basically collapses out onto the empty corridor floor. Dan sees a pair of blue and red shoes in front of his face and looks up to see it's Phil Lester.
Dan sits up, sitting cross legged against the lockers, stretching out his arms and neck. He looks back up at Phil, who still has a kitten floating above his head, but it looks more worried than happy.
"Um th-thanks," Dan mumbles, casting his gaze downwards, a blush tinting his cheeks, "you c-can go. I-I wouldn't want t-to waste anymore of y-your time."
"You're not wasting my time," Phil says, kneeling down in front of Dan and giving him a small smile, his mood changing to a simple sad face, "why would you think that?"
"Because I-I waste everyone's t-time," Dan says quietly, still not daring to look up at Phil.
"Why would you say that?" Phil asks.
"L-look at m-me Phil. C-can't you s-see what miss-ssing?" Dan stammers, looking down at the ground with eyes filled with shame.
"Oh," Phil says, obviously looking above Dan's head, "I'd heard about that but I've never actually seen it up close."
Dan looks up slowly to see Phil's eyes full of wonder. There's a large question mark floating above his head as he stares at the stupid black line above Dan's head.
Dan backs away, which isn't far because he's already against the row of lockers. He pushes himself to his feet and takes a step away from Phil.
"I-I should go," Dan says, taking another step back, tears in his eyes, "c-class."
"Wait Dan-" Phil starts, but Dan has already turned away and is running down the hallway.
Dan doesn't go to class though, he refuses to walk in crying, so he goes to the bathrooms instead. Dan locks himself in one of the cubicles and sits on the closed toilet lid, hugging his knees to his chest.
It was times like this when Dan would call his brother and just talk to him. He'd call Dan down, cheer him up. He'd tell Dan not to listen to them, and that he loves him. Dan feels a tear slip out of his left eye and trail down his cheek.
But your brother isn't here, Dan's mind jeers, he's not here and it's all your fault.
Dan squeezes his eyes shut, wishing for the voice inside his mind to just shut up. But it never does, it always chimes it at the right moments so a few simple words will shatter Dan completely.
It's right though - his brother is never coming back. His brother will never be beside him again, he won't ever see him again.
Soft sobs escape Dan's lips. It was times when Dan was the closest to breaking when his brother would just stride over to him and give him the tightest hug, not letting go until Dan's tears stopped.
But he's not here.
"Dan? I know you're in here," Phil's voice rings out in the bathroom.
Dan freezes, his breath hitching in his throat. God, why can he just go away? Dan doesn't want Phil to see him like this - the emotionless kid crying, how bloody ironic.
"Dan open this door now or I'm crawling under - and I really don't want to, the floor is disgusting," Phil says, knocking on Dan's door.
Dan partially considers climbing under to the cubicle next door so he can run away, but by the time he goes to move, Phil is already half way under the door.
His mood is visible now, it's a face smiling but beads of sweat have formed on its forehead.
"Agh, that was gross," Phil says as he stands up, too close to Dan for comfort.
Dan tries to hide his red, puffy eyes and red cheeks behind his arms and knees, but Phil catches sight.
"Are you crying?" Phil asks, frowning, his mood changing to a worried face.
"N-no," Dan stammers, "g-go away."
"But I-"
"W-why are you h-here? J-just leave m-me alone l-like everyone e-else does, c-call me a f-freak, emotionless, i-it doesn't matter anymore," Dan says quietly, sniffling loudly and wiping his eyes with the hem of his shirt.
"It does Dan," Phil says.
"W-why the s-sudden interest i-in me?" Dan asks.
"I-I'm curious. I want to know why you don't have moods," Phil says simply, shrugging his shoulders.
"Well, t-there's no reason! I'm j-just a m-mistake, a freak, a-a f-fuck up!" Dan yells angrily, standing up.
"You're not-" Phil starts to argue.
"I-if I'm not, t-then why h-have I spent my e-entire life being t-told and feeling like I-I'm one?" Dan snaps.
"I-" Phil stammers.
"E-exactly," Dan says, reaching around Phil and unlocking the door, shoving past him and straight out without saying another word.
Dan walks down the hallway and put onto the front schoolyard. He walks straight out of the gates, not even caring about skipping school; it's not like it's the first time anyway.
It doesn't matter anyway, no matter what Dan will always be known as a freak and an outsider. Then stupid Phil asking why as if Dan had never thought that himself.
You're just a fuck-up, a mistake and a freak, Dan's mind jeers, you'll never fit in. No one wants a reject.
And it's right.
***
phil
Phil frowns, standing alone in the bathroom.
He turns and looks at himself in the mirror. His mood floats above him, a face which is a mixture of confusion and hurt.
Phil frowns again, he can't go back to class with his mood like this. Phil closes his eyes, thinking of his new little kitten and smiles softly. When he opens his eyes his mood is back to a little kitten.
Phil walks out and back into his classroom. He takes a seat at his desk beside Pj.
"You took a while in the bathroom," he says suspiciously.
"Y-yeah," Phil says, shifting his gaze to the ground, "I uh, had too much dairy."
"Okay then," Pj says, turning back to his notebook, but Phil can tell Pj didn't buy his lie - his mood shows so.
Pj will probably ask him about it later but that's okay - he tells Pj everything anyway.
Phil doesn't really pay attention in class that day. His thoughts are focused on Dan. Why didn't he have a mood? What could've caused that? Is it because he has to emotions to display, or is there just something different about him?
Phil desperately wants to find out, but also Dan seems so cut off and lonely, and it's not hard to see why.
He's basically ignored, shunned by adults and bullied by kids. They may think he's an emotionless freak, but if anyone looked closely at him, you could see he's hurting.
Phil picked up on the little things; the way his voice shook, the way he stumbled on his words, the way his shoulders were slumped forward, the way his eyes looked empty. They were the signs of a broken person.
It saddens Phil to think people can feel that isolated, alone, sad and just lost. Phil spends majority of his time feeling happy and cheerful. He tries his best to spread joy around as well. He can't imagine feeling depressed all the time.
"What's been on your mind?" Pj asks as they walk home together.
"What? Oh, not much really," Phil mumbles.
"You're sad Phil," Pj says bluntly.
"How'd you know?" Phil asks, looking up at his mood.
"Your mood - the cat - is blue and looks very sad," Pj says, "now tell me what's bothering you."
"It's Dan," Phil starts.
"What did he do to you? Did he hurt you? Did he-" Pj says, his eyes widening.
"No, no," Phil says, cutting him off, "I uh, helped him out of his locker."
"You shouldn't have done that Phil," Pj says.
"Why?" Phil asks.
"Because you don't interfere with Alfie and Joe," Pj says, "you know that."
"So we should just let them treat Dan like crap?" Phil asks angrily.
"Well, he is different," Pj says.
"No one deserves to be treated like that!" Phil says, frowning at Pj, "he can't help it."
"How do you know?" Pj asks, he's the only one who doesn't have a mood. There's just something about him that I don't trust."
"Why do you think he doesn't have one then?" Phil asks.
"I honestly don't have a clue, but it's weird Phil," Pj says, "it's sort of - unnerving."
"I want to find out why," Phil says.
"Good luck with that mate," Pj laughs, "you go ahead and try."
"I will, you'll see," Phil says determinedly.
"Yeah Phil, and maybe I'll start flying while you're doing that," Pj says, rolling his eyes at Phil, "maybe there's no reason Phil, maybe he's just meant to be different."
"Maybe, but I'm at least going to try," Phil says.
"I'm telling you Phil, you're not going to," Pj says, "what would people say as well, you hanging around Dan? I don't think he'd appreciate it either, he seems to like being alone."
"No one likes being alone," Phil says.
"Well-"
"You'll see Pj, I'll prove you wrong," Phil says.
"You're insane," Pj says, shaking his head.
Phil just smiles in response. He's going to find out why Dan doesn't have moods no matter what. There has to be a reason;
And Phil's going to find it whether Dan likes it or not.
*******************
an// hey guys hope you enjoyed! Omg I asked for 50 votes and 20 comments and I got OVER 250 VOTES AND OVER 400 COMMENTS OMFG THANKS!
What do you think should happen next? Why do you think Dan doesn't have moods?
Hope you're liking the book so far, hopefully I'll update soon as I only have this one and blurry face to update now ^_^ xx