"We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward." ― Alison Croggon
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SHE
6 months later
Its been 6 months since I broke up with him. Six months of pure pain and anger. Its been six months but it still feels as if it happened yesterday. I still clearly remember when Bhai told me all about 'him', I was totally broken, a part of me didn't wanted to believe it but I knew my brother would never lie to me....he might not have liked 'Shiven' but he knew how important he was to me and how much it will effect me, my brother would never do that to me
After I had cried myself out for hours locked in room I decided to confront him....I wanted to know why would he lie to me like this why would he play around with me....what wrong did I do to him...I needed answer. I channeled all my remorse to the anger I felt for the betrayal.... that day I went and confronted him.....he asked me why I was so angry and I couldn't hold it back and I poured all my anger on him.... I spoke the harshest words I could to him. When I told him that I knew that he did all this for a bet, he was first confused and said he didn't do anything like this..... I was so angry I was not ready to listen to him......he tried to calm me down and tell that he didn't do anything.....I was just not ready to listen to a single word he said all I could think was what my brother told me and every word he spoke to me felt like a lie.......everything he said to me was a lie....he kept on trying and trying but I was too angry and hurt to listen to any of his explanation....he tried and tried but I just pushed him out of my life with all I had and I eventually succeeded in making in give him up on trying.
Days passed, months passed but the pain was not ready to fade, my pain was slowly and slowly turning into resentment toward any kind of emotions I had..... I was not ready to be fooled again.... I channeled all my pain and focused it on anger I had towards him..... He did hurt me and I made sure that I made my own scars on him..... I did hurt him back with every ruthless word I spoke to him, he at no point of time tried to retaliate, he just kept taking it all, all I said caused him pain, I could see it and it did hurt me too but my anger and hurt were too much for me to notice the pain I caused him.
From that day on things changed for me....i became even more isolated from emotions that I was before, I just looked at all the relationship just a waste of time and way to hurt yourself, I became so heartless that I did even felt guilt for hurting people sometime.....walls around my heart became even more firm and it was not ready to let its guards down for anything or for anyone.... I became immune to all the reasons for falling in love again, to letting someone close to me, to trust again......after a while the only emotion I felt was Anger. Throughout the day I carried a face that showed the world that I didn't care an iota about anything, but my nights always somehow broke down those farce I created around me and led me to my bed with tears.... After he was gone I became distant form everything.....a really hopeless part of me still hoped that it was all a lie and he never betrayed me.....but the rational part of me was too angry to listen to it. As far as my heart was concerned I had stop taking notice of it because it was in too much pain for me to handle...... something was missing after he went away, I was too arrogant to accept that I had started falling in love but after all that one thing that I kept on denying was that it was not just him gone out of my life but my heart missing too...and as much as I didn't wanted to I did fall in love with him and was incomplete without him.
"I knew I was being betrayed but never did I knew that this betrayal was coming form somewhere I never expected it from. I was being stabbed but not by the one who I was told was holding dagger but from the one who was right behind me protecting me"
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sorry for the short chapter.