'Therapy,
I'm a walking travesty,
But I'm smiling at everything,
Therapy,
You were never a friend to me,
So you can take back your misery'
- All Time Low
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Chapter 5: Unspoken Filth
*|Steel's POV|*
Skylar and I exited room 127 and made our way down the crowded hallway to the reception desk. I nodded a polite goodbye to the elderly woman behind the desk before placing my hand on Skylar's lower back to lead him towards the door. Although, the moment my hand made contact, he flinched away. He moved quickly away from me towards the wall and kept his head down. I could not see his face, for he was hiding behind his bangs, but I noticed his entire form trembling slightly.
"Skylar? Are you okay? Did I hurt you at all?" I asked hesitantly in a calming voice. He simply shook his head and quickly rushed out of the hospital ahead of me, keeping his head down and holding his hands to his chest.
Shit, I mentally cursed. I ran after him but once on the other side of the doors, realized I had lost him. I looked around frantically, searching for him everywhere throughout the almost empty parking lot. Just when I was about to give up hope, I got a quick glimpse of a black haired figure, sitting against the side of the building.
Jogging up to Skylar, I looked around quickly, only to see no one in sight.
Once I reached his huddled form, I knelt down quietly in front of him. He held his knees to his chest, with his arms wrapped tightly around them and his forehead resting against his knees. I decided it was a good idea to try not and touch him again, seeing as how he reacted the last time. I wasn't sure why he reacted that way, but I could say one thing for certain, I was going to find out.
"Skylar?" I called quietly, and hesitantly once more. "Are you okay? Whats wrong?... It's okay, you can talk to me." But then I realized, no, he couldn't talk to me, so I pulled out my cell phone and brought up my notepad.
"Here, you can type out what you want to say on here." I suggested as I extended my hand towards him as an offering.
For the first few minutes he didn't move a muscles. As the awkward silence started to become a little too awkward and I was about to pull my hand back, he reached out slowly. He never lifted his head, only placed his hand in front of me with his palm faced upward. I placed the phone softly in his hand and watch his small fingers curl around it hesitantly. He pulled the phone close and lifted his head up, just a little bit. He still refused to make eye contact but at least he was trying.
After a few minutes of silence, he passed the phone back to me slowly. I took it from his grasp, careful not to touch his hand and startle him again. I brought it closer and read what he had typed.
I'm sorry... You surprised me and I don't usually like it when people touch me. But thank you for caring.
I looked up from my phone and said softly, "It's alright, I'm sorry for touching you, I just didn't know. I'll be more careful now, I promise."
I stood up and almost offered him a hand before stopping myself from making another foolish mistake. I leaned against the worn down brick wall beside me and waited for Skylar. I watched as he slowly put himself together and used the wall as leverage to stand up as well. Once we were both standing, me with my arms folded and Sky with his hands in his pockets and head down, hidden from the world. I started walking towards where my truck was parked in the lot, glancing over my shoulder quickly to make sure Sky was following me, which he was. We made it to the truck and walked over to the passenger door. I opened the door and waited for him to get comfortable and settled in the seat. Once he was, I closed the door softly and walked to the drivers side. I hopped in and started the engine, getting ready to go, before I realized I had no idea where Skylar lived.
"Umm.. I have no idea where you live, can you put your address into my GPS?" I asked him in a hushed voice.
He nodded his head softly and reached out for my phone, which I placed in his hand carefully. He brought it closer to himself and typed in his address with nimble fingers. Once it was entered, he handed it back and I noticed that he lived not that far from my house. His house was somewhere along the edge of the forest and I wondered how quiet it was out there at night. I tended to go on a lot of late night walks to clear my head, although I had never been down there before. Sometimes when I got to thinking about Tristan, it would become a little too much and I needed a nice escape from it all.
I turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot, beginning the long journey home.
After an hour of driving through the city and many back roads, we finally made it into the deserted forest area. After following the directions on the GPS, we finally arrived outside of Skylar's house. It was an old Victorian style home with wooden walls covered in ivy. It was three stories tall with dark windows and a rotting porch. It was a beautiful house nonetheless.
I pulled up into the driveway and parked right beside the front porch. I turned the key and shut off the ignition, leaving us covered in silence. I turned slightly towards Sky and ran my hand through my hair nervously.
"So, it looks like we're here... Are you okay?" I asked in a quiet voice, not wanting to shatter the silence. He nodded his head, just as quiet as always and made to open the door. I panicked for a moment, a feeling of dread settling into my stomach. I didn't like the idea of leaving him like this. Not after what just happened and from the dark windows and empty atmosphere, I would say no one was home.
"Wait! Um, do you want me to come inside with you? It seems kind of lonely out here by yourself." I called out to him before he could open the door and leave. He paused slightly before shaking his head no and slowly exiting the car. I watched from a distance as he made his way up the porch to the front door and slipped inside the house. The front door closed softly behind him, separating us and leaving a hollow feeling in my chest. The silence was deafening and I couldn't take it but at the same time I couldn't leave. I couldn't just drive away and pretend this never happened. Pretend like I didn't just meet this mysterious boy. Pretend like I wasn't slowly falling for this mysterious boy with the broken voice and haunting eyes.
I barely knew this boy and it was so frustrating. How could I already have feelings for him? I barely just met him and I know nothing about him besides the fact that he can't speak, he seems to live alone and doesn't like to be touched. So many thoughts ran through my head.
I leaned forward and rested my head on the steering wheel. My mind was a jumbled mess and nothing seemed to clear my confusion. A hazy cloud of smoke drifted through my head and the wind that was Sky had yet to pass through and blow it all away.
I knew there was nothing I could do now. He was inside and the doors were closed, shut and locked for the night. Nothing could be done and it was time for me to leave. I opened my eyes and started the truck. With one last, lingering gaze, I swept my eyes over the ancient dying lawn and the crumbling walls of this other world and drove away slowly. Tomorrow was another day and a new chapter to be written into the story of our lives.
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*| Sky's POV |*
I hurried as fast as I could onto my porch. I reached my front door and with fumbling hands, (the wrap did not help at all either) just managed to grab my keys and jam them in the lock. I twisted the knob and threw the door open harshly. I was in too much of a rush. Things started getting violent as I slammed the door and began stripping my clothes off in a hurry, on my way to the bathroom. My head was pounding, I didn't know what to think. My heart felt like it was racing out of my chest. My fingers had gone numb and my eyes glazed over watching myself as I slowly tumbled to the floor, now crawling on my hands and knees. The bathroom was so close, I could almost reach it. Just a little farther, I could get there. So close, so very close.
I had finally reached the bathroom, if only I could gain enough strength to pull myself from my knees, onto my feet and open the door. I closed my eyes. Deep breath, in and out. I focused on my breathing, that's all, no thoughts in or out of my mind. Breathing was all that mattered.
I finally gathered my thoughts, and my breathing had steadied enough, so that I could grasp onto the door frame and pull myself to wobbly legs. I finally opened my eyes, which had been closed the whole time. One more deep breath, just for good measure. I could still feel the remnants of dizziness, and so, I continued to lean against the wall for support. I entered the bathroom slowly, cautious of my swaying mind. Already having stripped my clothing on the way to the bathroom, I simply turned the shower on. I ripped the wrap off of my wrist and threw it on the ground with my clothes. I couldn't patiently wait for the water to heat up. I needed to clean myself off now. I slid back the shower curtains and stepped under the flow of ice cold water, my whole body was racked with shivers in a matter of seconds but I couldn't wait. Goosebumps covered my arms and legs instantly and my hair stood on end. I fiddled with the temperature until it was nice and hot. Steam filled the bathroom quickly and as my skin was scorched with the boiling water I felt my worries be burnt away as well.
After much time being spent on the process of washing my body clean over, and over, and over again, I ultimately finished cleansing myself of violent thoughts, the touch of dirty hands and unspoken filth.
The memories were becoming too much but after one of my longest showers yet, the thoughts seemed to wash away with the soap and water. I loved showers, they're always so relaxing and they take your mind off of everything. I turned the water off and opened the shower curtain, leaning out of the tub. Through the steam, I blindly reached for my towel. I felt the cotton brush under my fingertips and stretched just a little bit further before I could fully grasp it. I pulled the towel to myself and dried off before wrapping the softness around my waist. I stepped out of the shower fully and made my way out of the bathroom towards my bedroom.
Upon entering my room, I threw my towel into a random corner and walked to my closet, searching for some comfortable sleeping clothes. I found my favourite pair of boxers with Supernatural symbols all across them and a baggy, black t-shirt. I dressed myself in the chosen outfit and crawled into my bed. Once I was under the covers and had them bundled up to my chin, I reached out and turned off my bedside lamp. It had been a long, eventful day and it was time for a good nights sleep. I shut my eyes and closed my mind off from the world.
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*| Steel's POV |*
It's howling, the noise is deafening. It's all so loud. So chaotic. What is happening? What is going on? Everything is wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me, not to him. Oh no, please God, not to him. Everything is wrong and the earth is shaking, or maybe it's just me, just my world. The room is spinning and the world is a broken place, a goddamn broken place and there's nothing I can do. I'm useless and I shouldn't be. I should have been there. Everything is hollow and it's all so much. It's all too much and help. Please someone help. Help me, help him. Help us but leave me alone, don't wipe my tears and say it's all going to be okay. It's not. The world is broken and I'm broken and everything is so wrong. But there's nothing we can do. What can we do? What can I do? He's not moving and I'm not moving and everything is standing still. Everyone is moving so fast but we are stuck. He's laying in a hospital bed and he's breathing but things will never be the same. He will never move again and I don't know what to do. Please... Please help... He's my baby brother... Please...
I wake with a start, sitting up quickly in bed, gasping and panting for air. My lungs feel like they're collapsing as a sob rips it's way from my throat. I reach up with a shaking hand and feel wetness on my cheeks. Tears continue to make their way down my face as I pull my knees to my chest and try to regain my breath. I sigh in defeat once I finally get my breathing under control and lift my head off my knees to glance at the clock. The bright red numbers declare 2:12am to be the time and another sigh passes my lips.
After a nightmare like that, or more so a memory like that, I'm wide awake. There's a very small chance of falling back to sleep so I decide to do as I always do in this situation and pull my legs across to mattress. I place my feet on the soft carpet and hang my head as I sit on the edge of my bed. Taking a few moments to simply breath in and out before standing up and making my way to the dresser. I pull on a pair of dark grey jeans and a black hoodie before grabbing my combat boots. I finish getting dressed and open my window, luckily there's a tree right outside my second story bedroom as I tend to use it to my advantage.
I put one leg through the window and then the other until I'm sitting on the window sill, facing the tree. I hold onto the ledge for balance and take a deep breath before pushing off and making a small leap. Landing, I quickly grab around the trunk and steadily make my way down. Once I'm safely on the ground in my back yard I start my usual night walk.
It's already pretty late so the streets are deserted but instead of taking my normal route I decide to change it up a little and switch directions. I'm walking for about 10 minutes until I realize that I'm on Skylar's street. I look from side to side and take note for the first time that there's not really many houses on his street. The houses that I can see are old and huge though, and along the one side, behind all of the houses is simply forest that goes on for what seems like forever.
I continue walking for a few more minutes until I see Sky's house about 50 feet away. A small smile makes it's way onto my face just simply thinking about him and I shake my head to rid it of those thoughts. He obviously wants nothing to do with me seeing as the first day we spent together was in the hospital and ended with me touching him, making him uncomfortable and him running into his house as quickly as possible to get away from me faster.
I sigh in disappointment before something catches my attention and causes me to look up quickly. A small shadowy figure a little while down the street stumbles off of Sky's porch and disappears into the woods while I stand there watching in surprise. I gasp quietly as I realize it's probably Sky and break into a sprint, trying to catch up to him.
Just as I reach the edge of the woods behind his house I stop and watch him fumble through the trees in the distance. It's dark and ominous in the forest but it doesn't seem to faze him as he stumbles along as fast as he can. I narrow my eyes and take off after him again. Worry and determination is all I can feel as I pump my legs as fast as they can go and pray to god I can catch up to him and help him before something happens.
Sky doesn't seem to be in his right mind and you never know what's lurking in a dark forest at night...
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