Jake
I agreed with Sarah, it was a foolish plan. But I was sure our reasoning wasn’t the same. I was still reeling from the fact that Addison Torres had an entire family. It was no better when I was sleeping with her even when I knew she was married, but with kids, there was so much more at stake. I needed to see her, if only to make sense of the fact that I truly was a home-wrecker.
Sarah, on the other hand, thought the plan was risky, because of the fact that I was working with her, and Addison wanted her in the slammer. But it was the only thing we could do to find out if Madison had any knowledge of Tyler’s whereabouts.
The plan: Getting into the Torres home, to find a way to get closer to Madison’s laptop, and other things, to find something that could help find Tyler.
It was the highest form of unorthodox, but we really had no other way.
To Sarah, I was supposedly going to Addison’s to talk about when I would be back at work, and to plead Sarah’s case.
Sarah felt a little embarrassed at the cover story, mostly because she didn’t want Addison to think she actually gave a damn; I was nervous because I knew what would probably end up happening if I called Addie up.
I made the call in front of the apartment building, under the pretense that I was going to get our mail.
She picked up after three rings.
“Addison Torres speaking,” she said.
I suddenly felt a slight disgust at having her voice so close in my ears, and even more, guilt.
“Addie, it’s Jake,” I replied. I’d been sure to hide the caller ID, and I was using a burner cell in the off chance that she decided to trace the call, but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t.
She was quiet for a minute and I heard movement and shuffling. “Jake,” she said in a hushed whisper, and I figured she’d moved to a corner or something, for privacy. “Where have you been? You were due back at work weeks ago.”
I sighed, “I need to see you, Addie.”
“See me? Or see me?” she asked.
“You know what I mean,” I answered.
“Fine. Meet me at my place tomorrow at ten in the morning,” she said nonchalantly, but I could almost hear the longing in her voice.
“Okay,” I muttered ready to hang up.
“When are you coming back, though? What the hell are you and your friend playing at? This is your duty, your responsibility. Is this what I get for giving you a two-week leave of absence? You’ve been away for months!” she ranted.
“Addie, let’s not discuss this now. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, and hung up, dreading the coming morning as I took in the setting sun.
*
Her house was as I expected – perfection. Literally. Not a weed in place, not a crack in the driveway, not even a leaf out of place. I’d always known Addison to be a perfectionist, and I’d sometimes imagined what her home would be like. My imagination was complete reality.
What I didn’t expect was the size.
Seeing Madison at that ridiculously highbrow school, I knew that her family must have money, but I didn’t expect such comfortable living situations.
Addison opened up the door before I could knock; the least she could do was hide her eagerness.
“Jacob. You have a lot of explaining to do,” she said, dressed in a satin nightgown that reached mid-thigh and dipped down, revealing her full chest.
I winced. Now, I remembered what had made me give in to her in the first place. It wasn’t that I had no self-control, but I’d been single at the time, and a beautiful, voluptuous woman wanted me; come on, I’m only human. There was no way I was going to say no to that. I guess I could have said no when I found out she was married, and I suppose I did a number of times, until I couldn’t resist anymore. I was such a horrible human being.
“How could you not tell me you have a child?” I said, getting straight to the point.
She seemed to freeze and then wrap her dressing gown tightly around her, embarrassed.
“Why? Would it have made a difference?”
My eyes widened, “Of course. You have an actual family. More hearts to break if anyone found out about us.”
“How did you even find out?”
I sighed, “That’s not the point, Addie. How could you do that to your own child?”
She glared at me, “You have no right to come here and accuse me of being a bad mother to my children. You don’t know the first thing about raising a family.”
My eyes widened, “Children?”
“Yes, I have a son and a daughter, not that it’s any of your business,” she spat, “You knew what you were doing when you found out I was married. And you knew what you were doing when you came here, even after you knew I had a child.”
I was taken aback, even though a part of me knew she was right.
She continued, “Look, Jake. You are my string of one-night stands; I come to you when I need a little passion, some excitement. That’s all you are to me, so don’t go nosing around my life. Now, if you’re not her to see me, then I suggest you get a move on. I have a long day ahead.”
I blinked furiously, unable to come up with a response. I’d come for one thing only; to sneak around Madison’s room to see if I could get a feel for any knowledge she had on Tyler. But it seemed there was only one way I was going to get to that.
I let out a breath, “You’re right. It’s none of my business,” I said, stepping closer, “I’m all yours.”
I felt repulsed as she came closer and began to undress me. Normally, I just felt guilty, but this newfound repulsion wasn’t only at myself, but also at Addison herself. I seemed to have a little more self-control than I normally could muster.
I pulled away as I stood in just my pants, “How about a drink first?” I asked with a wry smile.
Addison rolled her eyes and muttered, “Fine.” I could tell she was impatient, and I was starting to wonder just what exactly I did for her. She poured me a glass of brandy and led the way upstairs, all the while fiddling with my belt.
I took in the hard oak bed frame and the neatly made bed in her large bedroom. Lined on the wall were pictures of her kids, and I cringed as I took in the family portrait hanging above the bed. Their smiles were all as bright as day, but their eyes all seemed the same level of dead. Most especially her husband’s.
She pushed me back onto the bed and said, “I don’t normally say stuff like this, but I’ve missed you, Jake. Too damn much. Now, I need you to work your magic and help me forget these last few months, and maybe I’ll spare your partner.”
I’d tried not to think about Sarah all morning, and the immense guilt I felt at that moment was only one of the reasons.
But right then, as Addison climbed on top of me, I started to see for the first time, a hint of pain behind her cold eyes, the creases and bags beneath her eyes. In one of the ways I needed Sarah so deeply was the way Addison needed me, and suddenly, the feeling of satisfaction at being wanted, I let her have me.
I lay there telling myself it was a sacrifice for the case, that I was helping Addison, that it was a way to know if what I’d started feeling for Sarah was real, but simply, it was all justification. Because it was all terribly wrong, and I couldn’t help shutting my eyes tight as the eyes of her husband and children stared at me from over the bed.
“Hey, where’s the bathroom?” I whispered, hours later, as Addison lay half-asleep in the middle of the bed. It was time to do what I really came for.
“Down the hall and to the left,” she murmured and rolled onto her side.
I crept out slowly to avoid waking her completely; I needed her not to be at alert as I snuck into her daughter’s room. How the hell would I explain myself?
I went down the hall and spotted the toilet door at the far end, and two other doors between Addison’s bedroom and the toilet. On the front of one, there was a large poster, “BACK OFF!” and beneath in black marker was written, ‘except you, dad’. I felt a little sorry for Addison right then. The cursive lettering automatically made me think that I might have been standing in front of Madison’s room. I tried to push open the door, but it was locked. Maybe Madison did have a lot to hide after all.
My education in lock picking came in handy as I settled down to break into the room. It was one of the more expensive locks, so it took me over twenty minutes to get in, all the while looking over my shoulder, and hoping Addison didn’t stir from the sound of the soft clicks.
I walked into the room and was thrown into a frenzy of purples and pinks and other female colors. Her bed was unmade, but as in Tyler’s room, I could smell the male cologne in hers. Unlike Tyler’s however, her room was perfectly tidy and everything was neatly arranged in such precision that I had to tread carefully on the carpet to avoid moving anything.
I started with the iPad lying among her sheets on the bed. I tried a number of possible passwords and after about seven failed attempts, I gave up and moved to her desktop computer. With this, I was luckier, as I typed in ‘Tyler’ and the homepage opened up. I guess, since probably none of her family members knew about Tyler, it was the safest password. I couldn’t imagine another reason for such an obvious password, to those who knew, at least.
I hit the jackpot at I shuffled through her bookmarks and Safari history, as I pulled up saved searches of flight webpages. On the homepage however, was the real answer to the entire thing – a screenshot of a booking confirmation for two one-way tickets to Italy, in six days.
“Oh, crap,” I muttered, feeling worry flood my mind.
And soon enough, I had a pretty good idea where Tyler might be. I crept out of Madison’s room after e-mailing the bookmarked pages and screenshots to Sarah, making sure I removed any traces of my presence from the room.
Addison stirred as I walked back into her room and sat up slowly.
“For a second, I thought it was all a dream,” she said, swinging her legs over the side.
I looked away from her gaze, to hide my guilt. I honestly had never been more ashamed of myself for everything I’d done in the last few hours.
“I have to go, Addie,” I said, pulling on my clothes quickly, to avoid a second round. I felt even guiltier that I couldn’t tell her that her only daughter was planning to run away within a week.
“Yeah, I have to get to work too,” she said, and then turned her ‘captain’ glare on me, “When are you coming back, Finchley? I should fire your ass, you know. I’ve been making excuses for you over the past few months, and I can only carry on for so long. So, either you come back into work this afternoon, or you’re fired,” she threatened.
I had to grovel. I needed so much more time.
“Give me a month, Addie. Just one more month.”
“You’re helping her with this case, aren’t you?”
I didn’t bother to answer her question; I could neither deny nor admit it.
“I have to be with my family for Christmas and New Year’s. Just give me a little while longer,” I pled.
She clenched her jaw and shook her head, “I’m only going to say yes because you’re otherwise useful to me. Your friend however, she’s fired. If – and I know you will – if you see her, be sure to let her know that there’s a cell at the Women’s State Penitentiary with her name on it.”
I winced, but tried to hide it.
“Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” I muttered.
She ignored the question and added, “When am I seeing you again, Jacob?” as she began to pull on her clothes.
That was my cue to close the case.
“We should get away for a while. Do you have any out-of-town homes or any other places you and your husband own?”
She looked up at me, “That’s a good idea, actually. This is far too risky.”
I managed a smile at how well I could predict a lot of her responses.
“E-mail me addresses, would you? I’ll choose.” She eyed me warily, as I could practically see her guard go up, and I quickly added, “It could be too close to people I know; I’ll need to check first.”
She softened, “Fine, whatever.”
Right then, I heard a door slam and footsteps bound up the wooden staircase. Quickly, I retreated to the alcove by the door. I could still see through the gap between the door and its frame.
It was a young boy who looked about fifteen or sixteen, who looked exactly like Addison’s husband. It was a little freaky really, the resemblance. I’d barely gotten over Addie and Madison’s and here was another carbon copy.
“Joseph! What are you doing home?” Addison asked in surprise as she stood holding the door slightly open.
He turned a cold stare on her and with so much anger and an even greater amount of self-control it seemed, he said, “What are you?”
She hesitated for a minute and snapped, “It’s not really any of your business, is it?”
He smiled a slow and vicious smile as he said, “Exactly,” and trudged off.
As she stared after him, I felt some of the hate I felt for her dissipate, but as she turned to me, and spat, “What are you still doing here?” I crept slowly down the stairs and snuck out through the back door, with Addison’s impatient lead.
As I walked over to my car, I looked back up at the house, and almost as if I’d expected it, I took in the harsh glare of Joseph’s eyes through an upstairs window which stayed fixed on me as I got into my car, and slowly peeled out onto the road. Then a sudden realization dawned; maybe I had more to do with the hate that Addison’s children held for her than I’d thought.
*
The first thing I did when I got back to the house was to get into the shower, walking right past Sarah as she inquired on how it had gone, without so much as a look in her direction.
I felt guilty and filthy and ashamed and, did I say filthy?
“Jake, we have to be at Aubrey’s in two hours,” Sarah called in, and soon, I heard her receding footsteps. It was at times such as these that I most appreciated that Sarah never hovered, and never questioned me. They were some of the things I loved most about her.
I let my mind go in the shower, trying to think of anything but Addison and her very twisted life.
I thought about what I was going to have to do to help stop Madison and Tyler from running away, but as I did, I wondered if it wasn’t the better option for them. Both living dictated lives, surrounded by pretense and falsehood and trying to find a way to build a world where all that mattered was their love for each other and how far it could take them. But it was my duty; I’d taken an oath and I had to stick to it. For this night however, it was going to have to be shoved to the back of my mind, behind wine, conversation and of course, Sarah.
*
Her hands were shaking. I couldn’t understand it. Neither could she, apparently, as she kept saying: “I’m nervous. I can’t believe it. I don’t even know why.”
I held back my smile. In all the time I’d known Sarah, her only friends had been Devon, Sam, this ambulance driver, and me.
Until now.
But she went even further back with Aubrey than any of those other people, so I thought she’d feel more at ease. Apparently not.
“I mean, it’s Aubrey, you know. We had a million sleepovers, and she knows almost everything there is to know about me. It’s just dinner, I don’t know why the hell I’m nervous,” she continued.
I sighed. I was slowly starting to see the glimmer of hope in hereyes; she just wanted it to work out. Aubrey was an important part of her history and it seemed she longed for some of her past, to keep her feeling like it wasn’t all a dream. Now, I kind of understood the nervousness.
What if she’d done so much to ruin one of the most important relationships she’d had, that they just couldn’t hold on to something that was long gone?
She gave me an apologetic smile, “Sorry. You don’t want to hear my innermost thoughts. Just drive, I’ll shut up.”
This time I smiled, but I didn’t offer any opinions or advice. She wanted to rant and I was just going to let her.
She started again, “I mean honestly, it’s Aubrey! It’s not like she’s going to kick me out of her house. And her husband seemed nice enough. Gosh, her husband! I still can’t believe she’s actually married with children.”
I slowed as we finally pulled onto the suburban streets of Bilberry Lane, and scanned the picket fences and front doors for number thirty-two.
She let out a breath and blurted, “I abandoned her, for crying out loud. What could she possibly want me at dinner for?”
I spotted the gold numbers three and two nailed to the Reed’s black front door. Like almost every other house on the lane, they had a white picket fence in front of their stonewalled suburban home; the large white tree house to the left was an added bonus. But it was the picture of stability – the doghouse to the left, with a sleeping cocker spaniel in it; the two pink bicycles leaning on the garage door; the minivan parked in the driveway. I won’t deny I felt a little unfulfilled sitting out there in the heat of my BMW.
I saw Sarah’s reluctance to get out, and I slowly opened up my door and went over to her side, pulling the door open.
She stepped out in her knee-length black dress with the low neckline and body-hugging material and once again, I felt it. The unusual excitement. Admittedly, there’d never been a time when I’d seen Sarah, whether it was in her leather jacket and jeans, or her red floor-length dress, that I hadn’t felt a certain arousal. But in addition to the growth of that arousal and excitement, I was starting to feel an even greater longing, absorption, and certain nervousness at just being with or near her.
“It’ll be fine,” I said as we walked up to the front door.
She smiled with a wary glance, “How would you know?”
“I don’t. I’m just hoping,” I muttered in response, and rang the doorbell.
She sighed, “We need an out line. If it starts to get awkward or we start to feel uncomfortable, we need a signal that means ‘let’s vamoose’, because as much as it is Aubrey, for right now, we’re still strangers, and if it—”
I cut her off.
By planting my lips firmly against her soft red mouth. She froze for a few seconds, but slowly and gently, she succumbed as she kissed me back, hard. My arms were pressing her to me, and hers were clutching my arms, as if for fear of falling, as her knees grazed mine, buckling.
I don’t know exactly why I did it. But, if I had to hazard a guess or guesses:
I needed some sort of calming for the uncontrollable arousal I was feeling.
I needed to cleanse myself of Addison and everything that was just wrong.
Kissing Sarah had become something of a dream.
I needed her to shut up.
Whatever the reason, as I pulled away and took in her flushed face and dazed eyes, I said softly, “There. Something else to think about,” just as the front door flew open, holding the promise of a long night behind the beaming faces of Aubrey Tate-Reed and her husband.