Tuesday, December 4th, 1979
The trickiest part of the full moon, Sirius had come to appreciate, was getting Remus back inside the flat. It wasn't like at school where they could just hang out at the Shrieking Shack then sneak back when Moony was human again. Londoners tended to notice if you were dragging a naked, semi-conscious man alongside you, even in Brixton. So every month, Sirius would have to take the gamble of coaxing him back as close as he could to their home whilst still, in wolf form, keeping him away from any people he might possibly endanger.
Then there were the neighbours. Old Mrs Smith, the Jamaican lady on the first floor, had spotted them once when Remus hadn't even been awake enough yet to speak, leaving Sirius to assure the meddlesome busy-body that he'd just lost a bet after a heavy night of drinking, and that she really didn't need to call the police.
"It be bad enough," she had scolded as he'd lugged Moony up the concrete stairwell that perpetually smelled of piss, no matter how many times the cleaners sloshed bleach down it. "It bad enough you boys, livin' in sin. You got to be displayin' your indecency for the world to see, you ought to be ashamed!"
"See you later Mrs Smith," Sirius had called back to her over his shoulder as he'd fumbled for their keys from his pocket, eager to get in the door and out of sight. He hadn't wanted Remus to wake up and have to suffer the old biddy's nonsense as well.
That morning he had been able to creep in without incident. (Unless he counted the pigeons Moody had got his jaws on just before he changed back. He still had some of the feathers in his tousled brown hair. Sirius actually thought it was quite adorable, once he'd wiped the blood off his face.)
"Come on Moon," he said as he fished for his keys from his jeans. "Just a few more steps."
"Hmm," Remus mumbled as his head lolled onto Sirius' shoulder.
"Atta boy, come on," Sirius urged, finally getting the damn door open and hauling them both back into their little one bedroom flat. "There we go."
First job was to dump Remus in the shower, which was just generally easier if Sirius got in too. They had both spent the night cavorting through Clapham Common after all, so he'd worked out a while ago it was easier to kill two birds with one stone. After a quick rinse he grabbed his wand to dry Moony and himself off; it may not have felt as nice as towel drying, but it was ten times quicker.
"Pads?" Moony murmured, wincing as he slowly started getting a grip back on reality.
"I'm here," Sirius assured him as he helped him into the bedroom and flopped him on the bed. "It's okay, we're home now, you can sleep."
Remus nodded. "Sleep is good," he muttered, and Sirius chuckled. He waved his wand and socks, pyjama bottoms and one of his preferred woolly jumpers came flying out of the drawers to slip over Remus' limbs.
"Eloquent as always, old chap," he said fondly, swinging his legs over and pulling up the duvet to tuck him in. He brushed his hair back from his forehead so he could kiss him, a little thrill rushing through him despite having kissed Remus Lupin countless times over the past three years. He was his; his daft, rumpled werewolf, and he loved him so much his heart really did ache. "Sleep tight."
He pulled a fresh pair of jeans on and one of Moony's jumpers that he was always being told off for borrowing, before creeping quietly out of the bedroom and closing the door. He leaned back against it and exhaled deeply. Another full moon done.
He figured he had a couple of hours at least before Moony woke up, so he grabbed his boots and his coat to run down the road. He'd spotted a fellow selling Christmas trees for a tenner literally off the back of a lorry on their way in, and he wanted to grab one before they all went.
The next couple of hours passed quickly and happily as Sirius tidied up the living room from the takeaway that they'd had the night before last, then found the box with all their ball balls and tinsel in so he could set about decorating their new, slightly lop-sided tree. He hung his head out the window to smoke a couple of fags as he went, alternating between hot tea and cold beer to keep himself awake. He had a record playing on the quietest setting so as not to disturb Remus – a Christmas compilation album of Muggle songs Lily had got him last year.
"Oh I wish it could be Christmas, every-da-ay," he sang quietly to himself, untangling the coloured lights and tapping each one with his wand to light it.
Even though it was a Tuesday he didn't have to worry about work, as he always booked the day after the full moon off as holiday. From his boring admin job at the Ministry that was, the Order knew all about Remus of course and knew when to leave both him and Sirius alone. Remus' regular job was part time at one of the cafes in Diagon Alley, so he just always made sure the schedule worked in his favour.
If anyone had noticed who shouldn't, they were doing a decent job of keeping their suspicions quiet.
So, once Moony came around, they would have a nice relaxing day ahead of them, which Sirius had to admit he secretly loved. The full moon was never a picnic for either of them, especially Remus, but at least they could always look forward to some restful alone time afterwards. Particularly as it was now just the two of them.
It wasn't really the two of them, he supposed, the others were still around. But since he and Remus had become official, and Prongs and Evans had outdone them by getting married, it tended to just be him and Moony more often than not. He tried to involve Wormtail as much as possible, but he understood it was hard for him, and forgave the many excuses he seemed to come up with to do his own thing of late.
The tree was done so Sirius set about cleaning the kitchen, only to mess it up again by making a cottage pie from scratch for their dinner that evening. He wasn't the best cook he appreciated as he crammed the casserole dish into their tiny fridge, ready for heating later, but he thoroughly enjoyed it. And Remus still found it a novelty to be fussed over, even after all this time. The more he insisted he was nothing special, the more Sirius was obnoxiously affectionate to him. He enjoyed that particular dance quite a lot.
He brushed his hands on a reasonably dry tea towel and checked the clock. Almost midday. He frowned and quashed the little flutter of worry in his belly before it could blossom. Remus had probably just not woken up yet. He was always shattered after a full moon. It's just, he normally naturally made himself surface by at least ten o'clock.
Sirius decided it wouldn't hurt to go check on him. If he needed a bit of extra time, there was no harm in retreating again for another hour. But a small part of him fretted something might be wrong, so he would risk waking him up for peace of mind.
He eased the door open, wincing when it inevitably squeaked. There was a lump scrunched up under the covers, visible in the weak shafts of December sunlight sluicing through the curtains, and it flinched slightly at the sound. Awake then. Just...what? Hiding?
He was tempted to call out, but the fact Moony hadn't turned around suggested he was maybe pretending to sleep, which worried Sirius even more. So he played dumb and let the door swing to as he padded softly over to crawl onto the bed, snuggling up behind his boyfriend. At first he just cuddled against him, but then he could feel Remus was rigid and tense under him, and he started trying to soften him up, kissing the curls of his hair and the back of his neck.
"Wakey wakey sleepy head," he murmured, stroking the back of his fingers gently against Remus' cheek. "You won't get a wink tonight if you don't get up soon."
"I'm awake," he replied flatly, and Sirius felt something cold slide down the back of his spine.
"Are you okay?" he asked, not bothering to beat around the bush. Moony obviously wasn't okay and he was already busy wracking his brains trying to think what might have happened. But nothing out of the ordinary was springing to mind, and Remus hadn't replied, leaving him still as clueless as before. "Moony," he urged, flicking the covers back so he could get under and wind his arm around Remus' waist. "What's wrong? You can tell me."
Moony gave him a rueful laugh, but he was still refusing to turn and look at him, which didn't bode well. "Nothing new," he said. "I'm still a monster, nothing's changed."
Sirius ground his teeth, and made himself count to ten before he spoke. "You are not," he snarled (the counting had only worked a bit). "A monster."
"Sirius," Moony sighed, and he could feel his shoulders sag underneath him. "You spent the night in the park making sure I didn't eat anyone – what on Earth would you call that if not a monster?"
"Your furry little problem," Sirius replied without hesitation, and started kissing along his neck and back, his free hand running down his side and over his hips. Sometimes, after a particularly intense moon, Remus would need to be reminded of just how human he was.
But Moony captured his hand and hugged it to his chest. "I'm serious," he insisted.
"No," Sirius shot back. "I'm Sirius."
He felt Remus pause a beat. "That fucking joke," he grumbled. "Has been old since second year."
"It still makes you laugh though," Sirius told him, nudging his hips against his back. Despite Remus' obvious mood he could feel himself getting hotter under the skin. Part of making Remus feel human again involved Sirius touching every inch of him, and he loved that aftereffect from the full moon as much as their time away from the outside world. More, if he was being truthful.
But Remus was still melancholy, and got Sirius' attention again by lifting up his hand to kiss his fingers. "Pad, I'm not joking," he said heavily, toying with the tarnished pewter ring Sirius always wore. The one that matched Remus' (that he'd already put back on). They'd bought them last year on holiday in Bournemouth. It hadn't meant anything. They were just rings. That they both wore.
"What are you not joking about Lupin?" Sirius asked. "The fact that you're a werewolf? I think the pigeon feathers I had to fish out of our drain this morning might have given me a clue to that, that and the fact that I've watched you become a bloody werewolf once a month, every month, since we were twelve years old."
Remus twisted the ring on his finger once more. "That I'm a monster that shouldn't be around people. That I shouldn't..." Sirius heard his voice crack, and his heart just about broke in two. "That I shouldn't be around Lily anymore."
"Evans?" Sirius replied, a little too snappily he realised belatedly. "But she adores you, she-"
And then it hit him. Like a ton of bricks.
"The baby," he breathed. They had just found out that James and Lily were expecting their first child. Sirius hadn't paused for a second to think about anything other than how utterly fantastic it was, and how he was going to be the best godfather on the entire planet, and this kid was going to have more detentions than all the Marauders put together if he had his way.
"The baby," Moony agreed tiredly.
Sirius blinked, but refused to indulge his boyfriend in his funk. "Are you cross they asked me to be godfather? Because you know them, they'll probably pop out three or four kids before we even hit the nineties. You can shotgun the next one, then once we've worked out how the hell it works, Peter can maybe get a go."
"Black," Remus growled, and the thing about Moony was he really could give a truly feral-like growl when he felt like it. "Stop mollycoddling me. I'm dangerous, and I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the baby."
"During the full moon," Sirius pointed out bluntly. "Yes, fine. Only I get to have that special honour now, and I wouldn't want it any other way. But-" he ploughed on, feeling Remus take a breath to interject. "The rest of the time you are a perfectly normal human being, and it will be absolutely safe for you to carry on seeing Prongs and Evans like always."
"She's not Evans anymore," Remus pointed out with a sniff, but Sirius could tell he was getting somewhere.
"Oh, she'll always be Evans," he argued back. "Head Girl Evans with that terrifying glint in her eye. No wonder Potter fell for her, you'd never hurt her Moony, she simply wouldn't allow it."
Finally, mercifully, Remus turned and looked up at Sirius, making his heart sing a little again in relief. It scared the shit out of him when he got like this. "You sound like you fell for her and all," he teased, his eyes wet and his cheeks blotchy. Sirius wiped the wayward tears away with his thumb.
"Might have done if I wasn't as queer as a nine-bob-note. Or if you weren't so god-damn shaggable. I honestly never stood a chance sharing a dorm with you Remus Lupin for seven years."
Moony blushed, and Sirius knew he'd won. He pushed his man over until he was pinned nicely beneath him, then kissed him slowly and lovingly.
"You're fine," he said softly. "There's nothing wrong with you. You're going to be a brilliant uncle, the munchkin will love you to pieces."
Remus shook his head slightly against him. "It's irresponsible," he whispered.
Sirius swallowed with determination and brushed his boyfriend's hair back to kiss his forehead again. "You've let too many people tell you you're less than them. You didn't choose this, it was forced upon you and you've never, ever hurt anyone. Ever. Not once in twenty odd years. You are not about to start now."
"You're biased," Remus said with a hint of a wet laugh, but he looked up at Sirius with his big brown eyes regardless, as if hoping still to be proved wrong. Well, that was what Sirius was there for.
"Bollocks I am," he quipped, pleased to see a little bashful smile flicker on Moony's face. "When have I ever sugar coated anything? Look," he said, slipping his arms under Remus' back to anchor him closer. "We're not going to hang out with him – or her – when it's wolf time, okay? The rest of the month the Potters should be far more worried about me slipping the little spawn firewhisky, or teaching them how to vanish the fur off the cat."
That actually got a decent laugh that rumbled through Moony's chest, and Sirius gave an experimental push of his body against Remus'. He was rewarded with an exceptionally pleasant moan and fluttering of eyelids. Yep, Remus was ready to be human again.
"You're prefect," Sirius mumbled as he started tasting along Remus' collarbones, the woolly jumper tickling his jaw as he did. "You're going to be a brilliant uncle, the baby will love you. Who couldn't?"
"You're biased," Remus insisted again, his breath a little ragged as Sirius' hands began to roam.
"Maybe," he said, coming up to claim his mouth again. "But I tend to think anyone not madly in love with you is an idiot."
"Good job," Remus said, his hands skimming against the strip of skin between Sirius jeans and Remus' borrowed jumper. "Otherwise you'd have to share me."
Sirius, when pushed, could give an incredibly animalist growl as well when he wanted. "You're mine," he said, his kisses becoming more desperate. "No one else's, mine."
"Okay," Remus gasped, rolling his hips. "All yours, I promise."
Sirius responded by scrambling with the buttons and zip on his jeans with one hand, and yanking down Moony's pyjamas with the other. Remus helped push the jeans down to his thighs, and suddenly they were melded together in a sharp hit of pleasure, blood rushing to their groins as they began to slowly pulse together. "I love you," Sirius breathed into Remus' hair. "So much."
"Even though I'm a monster?" Remus shuddered against him.
Sirius was fully hard now, sliding against his lover's swollen erection, and he was almost too far gone to talk already. "Not a monster," he uttered. "Perfect, so perfect."
He threw his hand out to yank open the bedside cabinet and fumble for the tube of lubricant. He didn't have time to find his wand to heat it up, but considering both he and Remus were still clad in jumpers and winter socks, smothered under their duvet, he figured it would heat up pretty quickly.
Without ceremony he slathered the slippery gel along both his and Remus' lengths, getting a satisfying gasp from the man writhing underneath him. He was temped just to ride him like this, to make him come as hard and as fast as possible, but part of Sirius' post-moon duty was to touch all of Remus, and remind him he was a man again. "Can I fuck you?" he breathed as they gyrated slowly, blissfully, tortuously. "Please," he begged. "Please Moony, I need you."
He was nodding against him, but Sirius loved to hear him say it. "Yes, Merlin please, yes Pads, fuck me, fuck me hard."
He was kissing Moony now like it was breath itself, needy and ferocious. He moved his hand down around his leg and between his cheeks, caressing Remus' entrance and keening at how he whined in response. "Like this?"
"Yes," was the shaky response.
Sirius pushed gently with his middle finger, feeling the hot tightness envelope him as he eased in up to his knuckle. Both their cocks were still rubbing together, slippery with lube and pre-cum, but he steadied his breathing, forcing himself to be patient. He knew it would be so worth it, for both of them.
He began to move his finger back and forth, getting Remus used to the sensation, despite the hundreds of times they had done it before. He would never bore of preparing his lover to take him, never. "More?" he whispered.
He nodded. "More, yes, please."
Sweat was dripping from his hair now and Remus glistened below him with his own perspiration as he eased a second finger in. Remus cried out, but Sirius knew him well enough to recognise it was not in pain, and instead focused on slowly getting him used to the feeling as he scissored and pumped his digits. "That's it baby," he muttered, mostly talking nonsense by this point. "So good, just right, like that – uhh." He added a third finger, needing to pay his cock attention soon before it burst. But Moony didn't complain, in fact he was pushing himself against his hand, unashamedly fucking himself on Sirius fingers. "Does that feel good," he purred thickly. "Do you like that Moony?"
He gnashed his teeth all but wailed. "Yes, oh fuck yes! I want you in me, please, please come with me Padfoot."
Sirius gave him a few more thrusts before retracting his hand a little too hastily, grabbing at the lube to make sure his throbbing prick was slick and ready. He shifted the duvet around them again, cocooning them as he lined up his head, kissing Remus' mouth hungrily. "Okay?"
"Yes, yes."
Sirius pushed forward, crying out as Remus wrapped around him, taking his breath away. He wasn't going to last long, but he figured Moony wasn't going to either, so as soon as he was fully in he started to undulate, curving his hips upward to hit Remus at the angle he knew he craved.
They were a beautiful mess, slamming into each other in a tangle of limbs and bedsheets and desperate breaths.
Sirius barely got time to shout a warning before he was coming hard and fast, but he could tell from their wet bellies and Remus' anguished face he wasn't alone. They slumped together, boneless and gasping, arms holding on like clinging to a life raft.
After a time, reality came swimming slowly back to Sirius, and he lifted himself a little away so he could see Remus' spent face. "Are you okay?" He nodded that he was, so he eased himself free and rolled over to find his wand to spell them dry. "Are you sure?" he asked once they were draped against each other again, Remus' head resting on Sirius' chest.
"I think so," said Remus, but his voice was heavy. It was foolish to think he could banish all of his demons with one good fuck, but Sirius was always hopeful. "You make it better."
"Good," said Sirius, pulling him in tighter and kissing the top of his head with deep affection. "And that's my point. I'll always be here to make it better, to help, to keep you safe. You don't have to worry about anything else."
After a little while, Remus managed to nod. "Okay," he said.
Sirius wanted to ask what he meant exactly. What was okay? But for now he just accepted that a general 'okay' was good enough.
They lay still for a little while just listening to the other breath, fingertips gracing over the other's skin and woolly jumpers, until Remus' stomach rumbled. "Do you want dinner?" Sirius asked, relieved to get back to a bit of normality.
Remus nodded. "Sure," he said, a little groggy, but less maudlin than he had been previously.
"Come on," said Sirius, rolling over and tugging his jeans back up from his ankles. "I want to show you something too." Once they'd kicked back the duvet and made themselves reasonably decent again, Sirius reached for Remus' hand, and Remus let him take it. His heart swelled as they stepped out into their tiny sitting room, their new tree twinkling in their afternoon twilight. There wasn't a single other person Sirius would have wanted to share this moment with as they stood there in their battered flat with their wonky tree and the remnants of last night's full moon finally leaving their veins. He loved his man so much.
And that was never going to change.
The End
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