"Hello, we haven't talked in quite some time...hello I've been traveling in the deserts of my mind....and I haven't found a drop, of you."
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"So I see you're going to continue your daily habits here on this meteor out in the open." Karkat leaned against the back of Sollux's office chair and peered at the monitor over his friend's shoulder as the psionic continued clacking away at the keyboard. "Not even the destruction of our planet will stop you from doing your mandatory nightly coding."
"First of all I'm not coding. These shitty ass husktops were wiped clean and I'm here trying to figure out a way to restore whatever the fuck was on them." Sollux stopped his typing and swivelled around and faced Karkat, causing Karkat to lose his balance for a moment. "Second of all, no. Not even the death of my race and the explosion of my planet will stop me from coding." Karkat snickered, rolling his eyes. These were one of the rare moments that everyone else was out the room, off to their own blocks or visiting their planets, and it was just the two trolls.
"Amazing." Karkat plopped down in the chair besides Sollux and scooted closer. They sat in silence for a while, the only sound was the loud clacking of the keyboard. Karkat had to admit, he rather enjoyed watching Sollux work on the husktop. The concentration on the Gemini's face was fascinating. Karkat could've set himself on fire and danced in the nude in front of his friend and that wouldn't of broken his concentration. Of course there was one thing that broke the psionic's focus.
"Fuck." Sollux mumbled as he read the fuchsia text on screen. Karkat frowned, already knowing what was going to happen next. Sollux spun in his chair to face his friend, the lisped words not even leaving his mouth before Karkat nodded. "Jesus dick with sprinkles thank you." Sollux quickly logged off of his Trollian before jumping out of his chair and practically flying out the room. It was always the exact same routine. Whenever Karkat and Sollux had a moment alone something came up. Whether it be Feferi or Equius needing help to re-program AradiaBot it was always something. Today it just so happened to be Feferi. Karkat sighed and slid in front of the computer Sollux was previously using and logged in, clicking on Eridan's username before beginning to type. Sollux had asked his dear friend Karkat to attempt to keep the genocidal Prince of Hope busy whenever he had his alone time with the Witch of Life. Of course Karkat's first reaction was to be incredulous. Did Sollux really expect that? After what happened with Aradia, Karkat couldn't believe it. But the cancer troll did agree, he couldn't just let Eridan stomp all over Sollux's well deserved happiness after all.
- - carcinoGeneticist[CG] began trolling caligulasAquarium[CA] - -
CG: HEY DOUCHEBAG, ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR AT THE MOMENT?
CA: im on LOWWAA killin all a these angels if that helps answwer your question
CG: GREAT! SO YOU *AREN'T* DOING ANYTHING.
CA: i just said I wwas killin angels, numbskull.
CG: STILL NOTHING. LIKE I'VE SAID A BAZILLION TIMES BEFORE, KILLING THOSE FUCKING ANGELS DO ***NOTHING***. LIKE, *AT ALL*. SO THEREFORE YOU ARE IN FACT DOING NOTHING.
CA: wwell i mean wwhat else wwere they here for? theyre aggressivve as shit an no one else wwill come onto my planet to help me kill these bastards.
CG: THEY'RE AGGRESSIVE BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING MURDERING THEM YOU DOUCHEBAG. AND OF COURSE NO ONE WILL GO ONTO THE LAND OF PISSED OFF ANGELS AND S GENOCIDAL GODDAMN PRINCE WITH A GUN. THEY DON'T WANT TO FUCKING DIE.
CA: it isnt that bad here though! all a you pansies keep complainin about it here yet ya havent evven set foot on my fuckin planet!
CG: OH ERIDAN, POOR STUPID ERIDAN.
CG: I'M CHANGING THE TOPIC.
CG: DO YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME AND TAKE A BREAK FROM MURDERING SEMI INNOCENT ANGELS AND COME TO LOPAH?
CA: youre invvitin me to your planet to hang out?
CA: i thought that no one wwas like allowwed there cause a the fuckin blood thats sloshin all ovver the damn place, it makes ya self conscious as shit.
CG: WELL I HAVE TO GET MYSELF EVENTUALLY. AND THERE ARE PEOPLE ALLOWED ON LOPAH FOR YOUR INFORMATION.
CA: the clowwn is the only one thats been on your planet.
CG: THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT AND I WAS WATCHING HIM AND HE WOULDN'T AUTOMATICALLY SAW "EWW WWHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT". NO, INSTEAD HE SAID "HOLY FUCK THIS COLOR IS MIRACULOUS" OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.
CA: aww kar, you like him.
CG: FUCK OFF, SHIT STAIN. DO YOU WANT TO COME TO LOPAH OR NOT?
CA: yeah yeah ill come over to your blood planet.
CG: GREAT, I'LL MEET YOU HERE IN TWENTY MINUTES.
CA: wwhatevver.
CA: see ya then.
CG: LATER DUDE.
- - carcinoGeneticist[CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium[CA] - -
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"Took you long enough." Karkat grumbled as he stood up from his spot on the ground and turned to greet the sea dweller. "I thought you were about ditch me here."
"Well excuse me for takin' a little longer to clear off those pesterin' angels so I could FINALLY make my way over to your gross blood covered land." Karkat rolled his eyes as the Prince of Hope pursed his lips, gazing out at the ocean of mutant red blood before him. Karkat didn't exactly feel comfortable letting anyone on LOPAH, it was covered in his mutated blood after all, but the word about his freaky blood had gotten around and it wasn't like he could deny it any longer. There was also the fact that Eridan used to be a diehard hemospectrum enthusiast and he still was a bit of a dick about Karkat not even being on the hemospectrum, but Eridan kept his mouth shut for the sake of his friend.
"So," Karkat mumbled after he and Eridan found an area to sit in suitable to the prince's liking. "Other than murdering a fuck ton of semi-innocent angels that don't even give you fucking grist when you kill them, what've you been up to?" The violet blood shrugged, his eyes on the slow and calm waves of blood.
"Nothin' much. Been meetin' up with fussy fangs herself, we're workin' on a project- which is NONE a your damn business thank you very much." Karkat just shrugged in response and leaned back on his hands. "Okay maybe it is your business, you are our leader after all, I mean, I'm not exactly acceptin' that you of all trolls got hooked up with the leadership gig but I gotta show some respect..." Karkat rolled his eyes and turned his body to face Eridan.
"Whether you accept this shit or not I'm the leader and now you have to spill your goddamn guts about this super secret project you have going on with Kanaya." Eridan nodded and played with on of the many golden rings that decorated his fingers.
"Kan is makin' me a wand- but it isn't magic. I CANNOT stress enough that this wand isn't magic alright? It's pure white science, or in the case a my class an aspect, hope. My wand is powered entirely by hope. You got that?" Karkat wanted to laugh, he really did. It took every ounce of his will power not to laugh. Instead he just nodded and mumbled in agreement, earning a satisfied grunt from his sea dweller friend. The two sat there for a while, not speaking. They enjoyed the quietness of this, the only sound the faint splashes of the waves of blood before them. Then Eridan broke the sacred peace.
"So, Fef and that mustard blood seem to be gettin' along pretty well..." Aaaaand there it was. Karkat cursed under his breath before nodding slightly. He just knew Eridan would bring up Sollux and Feferi at some point in their conversation. "Fuckin' filthy low blood, he had to pop up an ruin my perfectly good goddamn life."
"Oh yeah, like your life was going to go just swimmingly if Sollux never talked to Feferi." Karkat snarled out causing Eridan to frown a bit. "If Sollux was never in the picture then Feferi's feelings towards you certainly match your feelings towards her. That's like saying if Troll Will Smith never met his matesprit and he and I met we'd be red for sure." The Prince of Hope opened his mouth to say something but then quickly shut his mouth, pulling his knees up to his chest.
Everything was silent again. Karkat felt a bit bad but Eridan needed to know that all of his problems weren't just Sollux's fault or Feferi's. Eridan continued messing with his rings, occasionally stealing glances Karkat's way. "Ya know," Eridan mumbled, breaking the silence. "I've always wondered what my life woulda been like if you were my 'rail instead a Fef." Karkat scoffed and looked over at his friend.
"I doubt you would've been any better than now, asshole. If I was your moirail you probably would be exactly the same except with a better understanding of how the quadrants work." Eridan chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Honestly, I've thought about you being my pale mate a fuck ton of times but you had Feferi and I kind of have Gamzee. It probably would've been...weird and shit."
"Probably, but it woulda been nice. I always sorta felt like right to be talkin' to you bout my feelin's an emotions an shit. That's probably considered cheatin' ain't it?" Karkat nodded a bit, but couldn't help the small smile on his face. It felt nice knowing that throughout all their conversations, Eridan had at least felt somewhat pale for him as well. "Listen Kar, I know ya got your thing with the soda lovin' asshole of a fuckin' clown but if you an he never work out...there's always me. Like, if you one day realize that Gam ain't the troll ya wanna be pale with I'm happy to take the role of Karkat Vantas' rail."
"Oh yeah, definitely." Karkat paused for a moment, then uncaptchalogued his sickle. "We could make this an official pact you know." Eridan glanced over at Karkat and the sickle, getting the gist of what he was implying. The sea dweller held out his hand and Karkat slid the sharp side of his sickle over Eridan's palm, violet blood oozing out. Karkat made another cut on his own palm, blood to match the ocean before them dripping out. Hesitantly, the too shook hands, sealing their little pact.
"I ain't gonna become a fuckin' mutant with this am I?" Karkat frowned. Eridan just ruined a perfectly good moment between them.