"Len, copy these for me. Make three copies of each and staple them." said Anna as she handed me a folder of papers. I took them from her and went to the photo copier.
I mindlessly copied them. Even though my body was physically at school, my mind was elsewhere.
My mind was at Muay Thai, punching and kicking the shit out of leather bags. I wanted to be there so bad. I finished copying the papers and started stapling them together. Before I could finish, the bell rang. I handed her what I finished and she put them aside.
"I'll finish the rest, go get lunch." I got my bag and left. I pushed through the double doors and went to the staircase.
"...she's usually here." I furrowed my eyebrows. Why was Alaric here? He's usually in the cafeteria with the Mafia. As I descended the stairs, his voice got louder. "Alaric?" I called out. He became silent. I turned the corner and stopped dead in my tracks. Alaric put up the peace sign and dipped.
Yejun turned to me. Is this one real? I wanted to touch him, but I knew it would make things worse. This one is real. He saw the corner of my lips twitch when I saw the purple bruise on his cheek. This seemed to anger him because he literally went all up in my face. I took two steps back and tightened my fists. The familiar feeling of my heart throbbing in my chest was back, but I fought the coldness.
His dark eyes glared at me, but never made a move. "What do you want?" I asked, completely surprised my voice was void of any emotion. Yejun seemed taken aback and sighed.
"We need to talk." Was all he said.
"Talk." I responded.
I crossed my arms and waited for him to speak. He's saying how we have to talk but he isn't saying shit. I understand if you break up with me, but I don't understand why you don't give me a reason. We had a stare down for about a good three minutes. Becoming annoyed, I turned away, but he put his hand on my shoulder.
"I-I... Sorry... It's been so long since I've seen you like this." A sarcastic laugh left my mouth. I turned to him and shrugged his hand off. "One, don't touch me. Two, you come out of nowhere with this bullshit about talking. What is to talk about? You said it yourself, we are over."
"Did you actually do what I said?" I stared at him in disbelief. The inner Jamaican came out as I put my hand on my hips and rolled my eyes. "Listen nastiness, mi lost yuh numba long ago."
His eyebrows furrowed as he looked away. Was he hurt? Why would he be hurt?! He's the one who broke my heart like it was nothing. The fact that he stood there looking sorry made me even angrier. "What happened to your façade huh?! Where's the cold blooded man that broke my heart?!" Yejun grabbed my hands, but I snatched them away from him.
"Mi seh stop touching me!" I cried. Tears stung my eyes and I forced them not to fall. It's been too long since I've cried over this pitiful man. I'm exactly what my mom said I would become and I fucking hate it.
"Len, I'm sorry..." He whispered, "I'm sorry."
I stared at the 6'0 Korean man in front of me. The same man who once intimidated me to the point where I was afraid to look into his eyes. The same man who hugged me and whispered how much he loved me in my ear. The same man who said he was thankful to have a person like me in his life. The same man who shattered my heart.
"You're a disgrace." I hissed, "There's nothing to talk about."
"Ani..." His eyes seemed puffy, but I won't give in to his bullshit. "Len, my mother's dying wish is for me to get married."
I still felt that familiar pang in my heart. If her dying wish is for him to get married, what's the problem? He'll get married eventually, he's only 24.
"...I-I... she chose someone for me. I cannot turn my back on that."
I uncrossed my arms and gave him a bitter smile. If my mom were to do that, I would laugh at her grave. But our cultures are different, and I have to respect that. Still, the hurt was resurfacing. It was already hard for me to fall asleep, now I won't be able to sleep for a while. My mind will constantly be racing, constantly thinking of this moment.
"It... I would bring shame to my family name if I didn't do this. We gain status from this as well." He clinched his fists and looked down. "I'm sorry Len."
I stared at him with a blank face. He felt the same way I did. The love is still there, he just can't fight this. It's his mom's dying wish, and it acquires family status. What type of status would he get if we were to marry? None- only a U.S. citizenship.
It sucks that his older brother ran off to marry the girl he loved. It's unfair Yejun can't do the same, he must carry the burden his mother bestowed upon him. He's the middle child, yet he has the most responsibilities. He looked down at me and put his hands in his pockets.
I hated how weak I felt. All of my rage for the past two months suddenly simmered. My heart hurt, but it felt nice to know the truth. Everything felt surreal- surely this is a dream?
"I understand Yejun." I whispered, "You didn't have to be all... mean to me. If you told me before, I would've understood."
He reached his hand out to me, but clenched it and put it back into his pocket. "I still love you." My heart throbbed in my chest as the tears from my eyes finally fell. After all this time, I thought he hated me. I thought he was being cold simply because he lost feelings for me. I thought he didn't want me anymore. I thought he found someone else in Korea, someone with pale skin, a thigh gap and a beautiful smile. I thought he got back with Cindy, especially after she said 'He will seek comfort.' I thought all of these things, but never thought he would still love me.
Yejun wiped my tears and instantly hugged me to his chest. What hurt the most was the fact that this was a good bye. We simply cannot be together. "And I always will." He whispered in my ear. I sniffed and nodded, hugging him back as tight as possible.
I laid my head against his chest and listened to his fast heartbeat. I wish I could steady it and stress him out less. I'll never get tired of his masculine scent.
The sound of the door opening caused us to instantly part. He looked at everything but me as someone passed us. When they left, we both looked at each other.
For once, a genuine smile lit my face. Even though this is the real break up, it's relieving to not be in the dark anymore. I love Yejun Min, but there is only so much love can do.
"I wanted to fight for us." He said as he wiped one of my tears, "But I can't. This is... something I cannot win."
I slowly nodded. "I understand." I felt more tears come and knew it was going to be bad. I tried to turn away, but he intertwined our hands together. "It's okay to cry." I bit my bottom lip and instantly let everything out.
He sniffed as he hugged me back to his chest. "I love you..." I sobbed, "I love you so much Yejun." It felt so nice to be in his arms again. Even though he was wearing a suit jacket, I still felt his comforting muscles. I wanted to reach up and kiss him so badly, but I can't. Yejun isn't mine anymore.
After I was finished, he pulled away. His hand caressed my cheek and I noticed he still had the Rolex on. I felt bad because I put his bracelet back in the box and put it in my closet. My eyes closed at his soft touch and I sighed. "I talked to her..." My eyes opened and I looked up at him.
"Aish your eyes..." he muttered, "She also doesn't want to go through with it because she loves someone as well." A dull spark of hope emitted through me, but I knew it wouldn't work out. It's a family arrangement. "We... talked about it. She said she knew about it since she was 20, but didn't know who it was going to be. We were supposed to meet when I would return to Korea. That happened to be my mother's funeral."
He sighed and put his hand down. My face suddenly felt extremely cold, following my whole body. Everything I want is right in front of me, but I can't reach out and get it.
"The period is about to end." I nodded, realizing how much I've missed his bottomless eyes. A tear slipped through and I wiped it away. He shouldn't be crying. "Thank you for everything Yejun." He smiled and kissed my hand. I felt his lips linger as he backed away. "Also... Don't call anyone oppa." Before I could ask why, he turned and went up the stairs.
Every step he took killed me even more. I turned away and tried to block out the sound of his heel clacking against the floor. I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart and looked down at the back of my hand.
--
"Thank you for holding the squad back." Alaric nudged my arm with his elbow, "Don't thank me, you suck eggs anyways. They were all reluctant to stay here, but I made it happen!"
I rolled my eyes at him and he smiled. His train pulled up and he waved bye at us. I looked over at Kat and found her eyes glued to her phone. "Kat?" Her eyes shot up at me and she showed me it. "He's trying to hook me up with some other guy! Damn he's sly as fuck!"
I squinted my eyes at her phone and tried to hide my laugh. The blonde hair, blue eyed guy stared back with a wide grin. "He's trying to hook you up with Matthew? What do you think?" Kat shrugged and looked back at her phone. "I don't know! He's incredibly handsome. If Yea-, Yeong Jin is trying to hook me up with him, I'm totally fine with it."
If Yeong Jin is trying to hook her up with Matthew then... Rolling my eyes, our train pulled up. Less than ten minutes later, we were at Muay Thai.
Yeong Jin ran up to us and gave us a hug. "In the wise words of Len Hunter, it's lit!" Kat laughed and I looked away in embarrassment. When the hell did I say that in front of him? This guy is going to get killed. "Oh yeah! C'mere Matthew!"
Matthew gave the bag one last push kick before he turned around and waved at us. He stretched his arms out and walked over. Kat was practically ogling over him. He took his gloves off and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I'm Matthew." He said as he outstretched his hand to her. She blinked and looked down. "O-oh!" She said as she shook it. "I'm Kat!" Matthew smirked at her and threw his gloves on the floor. "I hear you have an accent, where are you from?"
"I'm from Germany." She replied with a smile. Yeong Jin and I looked at each other and laughed. We left them together and headed over to a bench.
"How's your shin?" I undid the bandages and showed him. His hand caressed the skin and he looked up at me. "You didn't hiss this time, I assume it's doing better."
"Yeah, it didn't really hurt to walk today." I wrapped it up and looked over at him. "I see you introduced Kat to Matthew." He smiled and shrugged. "He's her type... Everyone has a type."
I finished wrapping my bandage and got up. "I'm going to go change now." Yeong Jin's eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked from them to me. "I'll be right back, okay?" He nodded as I walked off.
After about ten minutes of prepping, I came back out. I did some stretches and mentally prepared myself for Ric's craziness. Yeong Jin was talking to Matthew and Kat waved at me. I blew a kiss to her and she caught it, then slapping it on her ass. I rolled my eyes and smiled when I heard her laugh. Finally, the French man came out. Matthew was already at his bag and Kat watched from the benches.
The class was pretty small today. Usually we have at least three more people. "Alright, are you guys ready?!" We all got into fighting stance and Ric started us off.
I noticed Yeong Jin would watch as I punched the bag. At one point, he stopped and stared at me. I had to look at him for him to go back to the bags. I watched as he sent strong hooks. At one point, I thought he was going to break the chains.
His muscles are so well defined, especially with beads of sweat rolling off. I stared at his focused face and looked away. What the hell? I started punching the bags harder to erase my thoughts. No way in hell would I even think like that.
'You're so obvious.' I jumped and look at my side. He shook his head at me. 'If you're going to check out a man other than me, at least be lowkey.' I rolled my eyes, he wouldn't even say lowkey. 'Yes I would.' I glared at him as he winked and disappeared.
We started practicing kicks and then it was time to spar. Ric paired me up with Yeong Jin while he went with Matthew. "Saranghae Oppa." I said as I rubbed my gloves together, "You're going down!"
He stared at me with wide eyes. Why is he looking at me like that? Ric watched as Yeong Jin took me to the side. "Saranghae? Do you know what that means?" He asked. I stared at Yeong Jin as if he had two heads. "Yeah, it means hello and good bye. I mean, if you add neomu to it, you can say that to your boyfriend to be more respectful, b-"
Yeong Jin let out a loud laugh and shook his head. "Ah this girl! Saranghae means I love you." My heart instant constricted in my chest.
Yejun, how do you say good bye in Korean?" He seemed a little surprised and grinned. "Saranghae can also be used for goodbye. But if you want to say goodbye to your boyfriend- me- then you'll say 'Neomu saranghae'."
"Neomu saranghae? So it's like you're adding something to the hello to make it goodbye?" He tried to hold in a laugh and nodded. "Wow you're so mean. At least be happy I'm trying to learn! Alright, neomu saranghae Yejun."
His eyes lit up and he held in his laugh. "Nado saranghae Len."
I felt like I was about to faint. All this time... All this time he tricked me into saying 'I love you.' "Tell me..." I whispered, "What does neomu and nado saranghae mean?"
"Are you oka-"
"Please!" I practically begged, "Just tell me..." He stared at me with confusion as he took off his gloves. "Come with me." He grabbed my hand and took us to the back. We sat down and he grabbed a paper towel. I stared at him and realized he was wiping my tears. I cried in front of him, goodness he must think I'm a mess. "Neomu saranghae means I love you very much. Nado saranghae means I love you too."
A sob left my mouth as he looked around and hugged me to his chest. My head began to throb as I cried. Great, now my brain is going to die. "That stupid, stupid man!" I sobbed. Yeong Jin held me tighter. I felt so bad he had to go through this, but it was too much. "That stupid man..."
"It's okay." He whispered in my ear. His hands began to stroke my hair. I tried to stop crying so he wouldn't mess up my curls, but it was too much. "Let it all out, Oppa is here for you." When I was finished, I wiped my tears with my gloves and pulled back.
"I'm so sorry..." I whispered.
"Was he Korean?" I looked up at him, surprised at his actions. I can't lie to him, why else would I cry over finding out what they meant? "...yes." Yeong Jin looked down at me and gave me a small smile.
"We're not all the same, I want you to know that right now." His eyes left mine and went a little lower. He sighed and looked away. "I'm hoping he didn't mess it up for the rest of us..."
I furrowed my eyebrows at what he said, but he waved it off. "Let's go back before Ric makes me do 100 push ups." We both headed back, and sure enough, Ric made him do 100 push ups.
"Ah chinja..." He muttered as he got down on all fours. "What did you say?!" said Ric as he stooped down next to him. I had to bite my lips because I wanted to laugh. "Nothing..." sighed Yeong Jin as he started his push ups.
Matthew and I watched as Ric put things on Yeong Jin's back. Out of nowhere, he got a brick. I instantly started dying and Matthew had to cover his face with his shirt. Kat was recording the whole thing. "Ric!" Frustratedly yelled Yeong Jin as he did his 60th push up.
"That's my name! 65!" About three minutes later, Yeong Jin got up. He wiped his sweat and glared at Ric. Ric smirked and turned to me. "Len! 20 push ups!" My mouth dropped. Everyone started laughing as I got on all fours.
Taekwondo prepared me for this. I got this! I went down, surprised I did it with ease. Suddenly, a felt a huge weight on my back. "What is this?!" I cried as I went down. Ric stooped down next to me and smiled. "A brick."
Instantly, Yeong Jin and Matthew started dying. I groaned and finally finished all 20. Ric took the brick off as I got up. I rolled my eyes as everyone, including Kat, kept on laughing. We all went back to the bags.
"Don't forget the 45 degree stance!" I looked down and fixed my stance, annoyed that I got too used to Taekwondo. "Time for the suffering to commence! Fifty roundhouse kicks, go!"
I took a deep breath. My right shin is practically healed, I'm going to fuck it up if I go too hard. I lightly kicked the bag and smiled when it didn't hurt. Yeong Jin and Matthew finished by the time I did 30. In the meantime, they kicked more. Finally, I was finished.
"100 push kicks, go!" An hour later, we were all drenched in sweat. I took my gloves off and stretched. 'You belong in Taekwondo.' I sighed and looked up at him. "You're the most annoying thing ever." Suddenly, he vanished. Yeong Jin stared down at me with confused eyes.
"I'm annoying?" Instantly, I was up and vigorously shaking my head. "No! I thought of something while you were there and you know I didn't even see you come a-"
"It's okay. I'm going to get changed, I'll meet you at the front." He turned away and headed to the locker rooms. I watched him walk away, surprised he had an ass. 'His ass may be bigger than mine, but guess who has a bigger dick?'
A laugh left my mouth as I slapped my forehead. I really am going crazy.
--
Chinja - Really/seriously
Son I felt so sad writing this, like I was getting a little emotional on the train and shit smh. Now going over it, I feel like I fucked everyone over big time LOL.I don't think I've ever got this attached to my characters before, like BRUH. The picture is Yeong Jin, night bums! ❤️❤️