She clutched her robe to her chest, as she leered at the sleeping figure in her bed. What the hell was she thinking? Inviting him back to her place, the smirk on Sean's face as they left Molly's. He even had the balls to wink at her as if he knew this was bound to happen.
He rolled over the sheet falling from his well defined chest, she wouldn't deny the fact he was attractive. Very attractive but he wasn't Adam.
She felt the guilt already building within her, deep in her soul.
"Hey" Seth greeted her, his hair disheveled, "last night was....fun" he smiled as he stood up and pulled his boxers on.
Kim didn't know what to say, not when she was currently lost in a sea of gut wrenching guilt.
"That good huh?" Seth asked, "Listen, I get it. Last night was fun but I know it meant nothing" he knew what she was doing the minute she asked him to go home with her.
He didn't care, he found her to be stunning and couldn't understand how her fiancé could walk away from her.
"I'm sorry Seth" she sat on the edge of her bed, "I wasn't in my right mind, this" she pointed at him and then back at herself, "should never have happened, I still love Adam. This was a mistake, I hope you aren't angry with me" this was so not her. She didn't do casual sex, and never with a man she barely knew.
Seth finished getting dressed, "It's alright. I just hope that guy knows what he's doing. If it was me? I would have never let you walk away" he said as he buttoned his shirt, he bent down and kissed her cheek, "I hope it works out the way you want it to"
She smiled softly, "I'm sorry" she whispered.
Though she spoke the words to Seth, they were meant for Adam.
"Alright, kid. Thanks for everything" Al said as he shook Adam's hand, "I appreciate you putting up with us for so long"
Adam nodded.
"I hope we didn't have anything to do with Kim ending things" Al confessed.
"You didn't" he told him, "it's all on me"
Al handed the car keys to Michelle, "Why don't you go in the car, give Adam and I few minutes"
She smiled, "Bye Adam"
Adam nodded.
"A little unsolicited advice?" Al offered.
"Sure" Adam told him.
"Don't give up on her, you're fucking miserable without her, I don't know what your hang up is but let it go man" Al patted his cheek, "you love her, and she loves you. Don't blow it"
Adam smirked, "Al, I'm just going to fuck it up anyway. Saving us both some heartache and keeping kids out of the mix"
Al looked at him sideways, "What the fuck does that mean?"
"My parents between the two of them have been married and divorced over ten times" it was absurd, "I'm not the marriage kind of guy, Kim deserves better"
"That's a shit excuse" Al told him, "you aren't your parents, kid. You shouldn't sell yourself short"
"Duly noted"
Al laughed "alright I get it. I'm leaving"
Al was right he was miserable, nothing hurt more than seeing Kim sitting at the bar with Sean's brother.
She had avoided him the whole time he was there and it killed him.
Could he make marriage work? He wanted to,that he knew, but the thought of a marriage to Kim ending in divorce scared him.
She was his lifeline, his oxygen and as much as it hurt now, he couldn't imagine it ending in divorce. Their children being shuttled between two different houses and bitterness that would be inevitable.
He could remember the drop offs as a kid, his mother always so accusatory, one time he had fallen at the ice rink and broke his wrist, his mother was livid. She chewed his father up and spit him out over it and it was just an accident.
The two took any chance they had to belittle the other and he wanted no part of it as an adult.
His father was a womanizer, it was part of the reason he didn't want him meeting Kim's mom or Kim even meeting him for that matter.
It dawned on him as he envisioned his future, a future with Kim in it. He'd never done that with anyone before. Thinking of children? That in fact was first.
Sure little kids were cool, he liked Dawson's two, and Hermann's brood always made him laugh.
Kids of his own? Never gave it much thought.
Until Kim that is.
He didn't know what it would take to get her back but he was willing to do anything.
"Hey Mom" Kim said as she slid into the booth her mother occupied at the restaurant unable to put it off any longer.
Catherine Burgess glared at her daughter, "So nice to finally see you" she'd been trying to get ahold of Kim for weeks. She was completely crushed when Trudy called her to tell her Kim had ended the engagement.
"I'm sorry" Kim said sheepishly, she felt bad for having avoided her mother for so long. She just didn't want to see the hurt in her mother's eyes, she loved Adam like a son.
"I had to find out from Trudy, that hurt Kimmy" she told her a tissue balled up in her hand, "what happened?"
Kim pushed the menu aside, "He doesn't want to get married"
"Hmmph" Catherine grunted, "Did he say that?"
Kim rolled her eyes, Adam sure had a hold on her mother.
"Not with his mouth, but his actions Mom" she defended herself, "Adam refused to make any decisions about the wedding" she spoke, "aside from his bachelor party" she shook her head in disgust, "not to mention he treats me like I'm going to break at work"
Catherine's laughter annoyed her, "Just what part of this do you find funny?"
"None of it" she apologized, "Are you surprised that he's protective of you? Kim, you didn't see him after you had been shot. The man was inconsolable, he was petrified" as she had been when he called her that horrible night.
"I get that but I'm tired of him dragging his feet, for whatever reason" how she wished he talk to her about it. It wasn't so much the protective streak, that she could understand but it just added to her frustrations.
"So that's it? It's done?"
Kim pictured Seth, and she knew it was over. If it wasn't before it was now, she could never forgive herself and she didn't think Adam would either, "Yes. I'm pretty sure it's what Adam wants too"
"You're stubborn you know that" she told her daughter, "The two of you need to talk to each other, because I think you both want the same thing."
Her mother was right, communication was never their strong suit.
It didn't matter though not after what she had done.
"Hey Erin?" Adam asked as when she finally answered her phone.
"Yea?" She responded, he could hear the disgust in her voice. She was pissed at him, no matter how much Jay claimed she wasn't he knew she was.
"I need to talk to you, about Kim" he needed to figure out how to get her back and he hoped Erin could help him.
"Come over, Jay's here" she told him.
"An hour?"
"That's good" Erin told him.
"Who was that?" Jay asked.
Erin sat back down beside him, "Adam he's coming over, wants to talk about Kim" she explained, a strange look flashed over Jay's face, "What?"
Jay shook his head, "He's wasting his breath, babe. Kim left Molly's the other night with Sean Roman's brother Seth. She's moved on" he explained, "it's kind of fucked up if you ask me"
Erin leaned back agains the couch, "Don't tell Adam that"
"Why the fuck not?" His voice a little louder than he expected, but Adam was his best friend, "the guy is miserable, he should know what Kim is doing"
Erin grabbed his hand, "For all we know, nothing happened. It's none of our business" though she would call Kim and fight out just what was going on with her and Seth Roman.
Within the hour Adam showed up on her doorstep, "I need your help, I need to get Kim back" he explained, he looked better than he had in weeks.
She could see Jay shake his head, "What do you think I can do?" She asked.
Adam sat on the couch, "How can I show her I'm ready to marry her? That I know she's the one I want"
"Tell her" Jay spoke, "just tell her Adam" he didn't want him falling all over himself trying to get her back and when she may very well be perfectly happy without him.
"You think?" Adam asked intrigued, he was beginning to think Jay had a point. Kim was never one for grand gestures and maybe she just needed him to lay it all out on the table.
Erin smiled, "I think so Adam, you should talk to her. Tell her everything"
Adam wrung his hands together, "It's going to sound stupid, but my parents they've really screwed up my idea of a marriage. They've been divorced and remarried more times than I can count" a slight exaggeration "marriage scares me"
"You asked her to marry you man" Jay reminded him.
He laughed, "I know. It's hard to explain, I guess. The engagement is the easy part you know? It's fun, everyone wants to buy you a drink, see the ring and all that. The marriage it takes work, that's what scares me. That'll I fuck up and she'll hate me for it" Adam felt a weight lift off his shoulders, the more he talked about his fears they seemed to lose the power they held over him.
"Get out!" Erin told him.
She could see the confusion on his face, she smiled, "Adam, I'm kidding. You need to tell Kim everything you just told me" she gave his head a reassuring squeeze, "talk to her"
A FEW DAYS LATER
He couldn't wait to find her, he tired calling her but kept getting her voicemail and didn't want to leave a message. He needed to see her face to face.
"Sarge, have you seen Kim?" Adam asked.
Trudy glanced up from her work, "Locker room, her and Roman just got back"
"So, today was a long one, huh?" Sean asked, "I don't think I've run that much in years" he laughed as he hung his bulletproof vest in his locker, "Can I ask you something?"
Kim nodded, "Go ahead, not like it'll make a difference if I say no" she laughed.
"My brother, you got a thing for him?" Sean asked.
Kim felt her cheeks warm, "Why?"
"Well he said you two slept together the night we all hung out at Molly's" Sean explained.
Adam couldn't believe his ears, he stood in the doorway obviously unbeknownst to both Sean and Kim.
"Shit" was all Sean could say, when he looked up and saw Adam, his hands on his hips and his eyes narrowed in his direction. He was pissed "I'm going to give you two some privacy" truth be told he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The look on Adam's face was awful, almost as awful as the one Kim wore.
"Adam" Kim said softly, "let me.."
Adam held his hand up, shaking it from side to side, "What Roman said...is..is..it true?" He felt as if he'd been kicked in the balls, "His brother?"
She went to touch him, "Don't..don't touch me" he was furious now, "didn't take you long, huh?" He ran his finger under his eye swiping a few tears away.
He turned to leave, "Adam, wait!" Kim yelled through her own tears, "let me explain, please Adam. I love you"
He stopped, "No you don't, if you did you wouldn't have fucked Roman's brother" he sneered at her, drawing the attention of everyone assembled in the lobby of the 21st.
"Please...Adam" Kim begged.
Trudy came out from behind the desk, "Get upstairs Ruzek!" She went to Kim, "Come on, let's get out of here" she ushered her into a vacant office.
Kim plopped down in the chair, "He hates me"
Trudy grabbed a box of tissues from the supply closet and handed her some, "it's true? What he said?"
Kim shrugged, embarrassed by her own actions. "Yes. I don't know what I was thinking"
"You weren't" Trudy told her, "Roman's brother?"
Kim glared at her, "Sorry, just surprised that's all"
"Yea, me too" Kim said softly.
Adam was fuming at his desk, hoping Jay and Erin wouldn't be returning anytime soon, they both knew he was going to talk to Kim today.
His hopes dashed, "Did you talk to her?" Erin asked almost giddy.
"I did" he said his voice soft.
"And?"
He laughed, "She fucked Sean Roman's brother" he slammed his laptop shut, "I gotta get some air" he huffed as he made his way downstairs.
Erin was shocked.