[EARLY SUMMER- JUNE]
I believe that summer has truly arrived. Roisin tells me that while our position in the south of the land gives us a milder winter, the closeness of the mountains gives us a cooler summer. So, the fine weather I experienced on my arrival was the norm, not an exception. We have the best of both worlds.
It is occasionally a cause of wonder to me how easily I now write 'we' and 'our' and 'us.' For so many years there was no 'we' in my life. It was not convenient or safe. Now, it is impossible not to have a 'we' or 'our.' And it is not only Ash, but Roisin who fits in that word with me. But even they are not the only ones.
I have made friends here. I find that to be almost miraculous. Scarn the woodcutter and his son Case often stop by to chat and occasionally bring me wild game. Virtue has been soliciting my advice on his pastries, due apparently to the boys praising my tarts. Alfbert grouches at me as he does everyone else, which Roisin assures me is a sure sign of his acceptance. Ned, the miller's apprentice and his wife Alma are expecting their first child. Today he came by and told me that his wife's mother had some ability with magic. He wished to know if I would be willing to advise them should their child prove to have ability as well.
'We' make a comfortable living on the salves, potions, unguents and herbal mixtures for Heston. I find payments of eggs, meats, and vegetables in my larder as well as coin from the more well to do folk. Roisin insists that I take a larger share, because of Ash. Not only for his care, but because he has added his effort to our alchemical enterprise.
Speaking of which, our plants are growing well—presumably from the old manure—but so are the weeds. Tomorrow we will have to clear the beds. There is a remarkable satisfaction in stripping to the waist and getting down on my knees to pluck weeds that threaten my tender seedlings. I sometimes imagine the horrified looks I would receive from the other Ossuary members over that!! They would not understand.
I am well rid of that life. I do not miss any of it—except my students. Roisin tells me that Sevaka has assured her that all of them are doing well under the eye of the Tower. I hope that they find their new life as good as mine has proven to be. The binding on my magic is the only cause for discontent that I have, and that is not as irritating as it once was. In fact, I can actually go for an entire day without feeling the tingle of warning that tells me that I was drawing on my magic. That is an improvement. And, if that is the worst problem I have, I will not complain.
Bending low, Niall coaxed another weed out of the ground while disturbing the nearby herb seedling as little as possible. The breeze cooled the sweat on his bare back and lifted the hair away from his forehead. A few rows away Ash was similarly engaged. They had been laboring over the beds all morning and behind them the rows were clean and orderly. Niall leaned back and straightened, easing his stiff muscles.
A distant sound reached his sharp ears, causing a smile to flit across his lips. His work rhythm did not falter. On the contrary, he seemed to gain a bit of impetus as the sound of the pony cart came closer.
As Roisin came around the corner of the cottage, she stopped short, taking in the sight of the two busily weeding. She suddenly felt a bit breathless and it had naught to do with her physical activity. Rather, it was a quite pleasing expanse of muscled male torso. Niall finished the consigning the last weedy invader to death and pushed to his feet. As he turned in her direction, Roisin's breath hitched. His bare back was enough to make her breathless, his bare chest was breathtaking—literally. The man was beautifully formed, all lean muscle with a scattering of dark hair across his chest and down the center of his belly.
Roisin had been unable to avoid noticing a change in her perceptions of Niall. She had recognized from the beginning that he was a very handsome fellow, but there was far more to her present awareness than the mere appreciation of his male beauty. It was that fine form coupled with the spirit, the soul within that made her breathing—and her heat rate—accelerate in his presence. Roisin was far too knowledgeable to ignore what that meant. She was falling in love with the man, if indeed she had not already fallen.
That fact could present problems, did she not step carefully. The very last thing she wanted was to cause Niall any discomfiture. At this point in his life he did not need any more to deal with. It would take restraint and vigilance on her part to guard their friendship and not allow her amorous emotions to manifest and make him either wary or distressed on her behalf. For her part, she was not willing to sacrifice the relationship they had. If, after his parole was over, he elected to remain in Heston, she might make the attempt to discern if there was the possibility of a more intimate relationship between them.
For now, the welcoming smile he gave her made her feel warm inside. Niall began to wash the dirt away in the flow of the spring as she walked forward. Taking up the towel, she waited for him to finish.
"It is a bit warm for weeding today," she said as she handed him the towel.
"A bit," Niall agreed. "But the weeds were growing as fast as the herbs." He smiled warmly at her. "As we planned to distill glycerine tomorrow and search for roots the day after, the weeds had to go today. Besides," he said as Ash, having finished also, came to the spring, "with the two of us it went swiftly." He gave the boy's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Good job, Ash. Your afternoon is your own."
"Thank you, sir," replied Ash, beaming. "Gerny and Sefton invited me to go fishing."
"Off you go, then," said Niall. "Do not forget to grab something to eat from the larder. Maybe you can catch supper."
"I will try," said Ash enthusiastically as he headed for the cottage. A few moments later the boy reappeared, headed for the river.
Watching man and boy interact warmed Roisin's heart. The attachment between the two had been nearly instantaneous. Roisin sometimes had to hide a smile at the way the lad strove to emulate Niall's crisp diction, graceful manner and precise movements.
Shortly after Ash had come to live with him, Niall had encouraged the boy to choose a day to celebrate his birth, explaining that although Ash did not know the exact day, that did not mean that his birth was not important and an occasion for celebration. Ash had finally chosen the same day Niall celebrated, which had pleased Niall a great deal. Roisin had help the two celebrate just two weeks ago—Ash for his eleventh year and Niall for his twenty-eighth.
"I am glad he has made friends," said Niall, slipping his arms into his shirt. "Gerny and Sefton are good lads."
"They are," agreed Roisin. And you are a good man, she thought. His own childhood made Niall very sensitive to Ash's needs. "Since your afternoon is free, would you like to help me collect pearl moss?"
"Certainly," he said, pulling the garment over his head. To her delight, he did not tighten the laces or don the cowl. "Shall we sit down to lunch, or emulate Ash and grab a bite to take with us?"
Roisin elected to take lunch along, largely because she knew what Niall had in mind. The first time he had introduced her to one of his favorite foods, she had been amazed at how good it was, even as she had to fight tears. It consisted of a slice of cheese and a slice of ham put between halves of a roll. It had the virtue of being quick, portable and easy to tuck away—all good things to an orphan boy. Once lunch was procured, they left for the forest.
Nestled around the foot of the mountains was an old stand of forest locally known as Highwood. Lower down the slopes, on the other side of Heston, around the river and the road south was another wooded area known prosaically as Lowwood. The pearl moss they were searching for could only be found in the Highwood, so they headed up the road toward the mountains.
It was pleasantly cool under the eaves of the forest. Niall had a good sense of direction, but he was content to rely on Roisin, who knew the forest well, for guidance. In fact, he had come to rely on her for guidance in spiritual matters as well. It had taken him some time to become secure enough to voice his questions and concerns, but by this time there were few subjects that they could not discuss. So they made their way under the trees, talking quietly together as they searched for pearl moss.
"Niall," ventured Roisin after a while, "were you given a time span for your parole?"
"No," he replied quietly. "I was given to understand that they would be monitoring me and decide the duration based on my progress."
"Well, I believe that you are doing quite well," said Roisin firmly. She paused, then turned to him. "Do you ever miss it? Your old life, I mean?"
"Miss it?" Niall considered for a moment. "No, I do not miss the life. I rarely consider my time there at all, since you gave me the news out about my former students and how they are getting along. The truth is, I was not really suited to the Scarlet Ossuary. I had no interest in most of what went on there." He found a patch of moss and went down on one knee to pull it up. "I considered leaving more than once, but I had no where else to go, really." He stood, putting the moss in his collection satchel. "Besides, I did not want to leave my students."
"I think that is perfectly understandable," said Roisin. He had told her of his childhood, and she knew his Aunt was long dead, even if she had been the sort to care about him. "So you have no family, anywhere?"
"No, none that I know of anyway." Niall sighed. "My Father's mother died when he was six, and his father remarried. They both died when he was barely of age. My Aunt was my Father's half-sister and there were no other siblings. As far as I know, my mother was an only child and her parents died shortly after she married my father."
"It must have been very lonely for you at the keep," observed Roisin gently.
"It was," Niall admitted softly. "I could not make friends with any of the adults without getting drawn into the infighting and political struggles. And I dared not show any undue affection for any of the students, lest one of the others use it as leverage against me."
"I would imagine that was not a comfortable way to live," she remarked.
"No, it was not," he agreed. "For the most part, I kept my head down and concentrated on teaching. There was the occasional attempt to entice me into various activities, but they usually did not press when I resisted." The memories of some of the more flagrant 'enticements' tinged his ears with a flush of red. He hoped it escaped Roisin's notice.
It didn't, but she was careful to let is pass as though it had. She wished—not for the first time—that someone like Sevaka had found young Niall instead of Osram. But then, she reminded herself, he would not be here, now. It might be selfish of her, but she could not regret that simple fact.
It amazed her how Niall had remained relatively unspoiled by his time in the cult. She suspected that his sharp focus on his magic, alchemy and teaching had kept him from other, more harmful pursuits. Understanding this gave her a deeper understanding of why he had been so unsettled when he first came to Heston. Having his magic bound must have been much like losing the function of a limb.
"Likely they had easier marks," she said. "Have you considered what you want to do once you are free?"
"Actually," Niall replied slowly, "I have not really thought about it. I am content with continuing with our Alchemy and training Ash." He paused, considering. "Perhaps I could take on another student or two."
"I think that would be a good idea," she agreed calmly, although inwardly she was rejoicing that he showed no desire to leave Heston. "The Silver Tower often provides a stipend for capable instructors."
"Do you think they would consider me as such?" he asked seriously. He was still amazed that they had allowed him to teach Ash. That they might actually encourage him to teach others as well seemed beyond the bounds of possibility.
"I see no reason why not," Roisin replied firmly. "Especially when they see what a fine job you have done with Ash." She reached out and lay a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You are not dangerous to them anymore, Niall—if, indeed, you ever were. It is not as though you were part of the plotting and scheming, after all."
"No," agreed Niall, "I was not. But that does not absolve me, Roisin. I turned a blind eye to too much because it was more convenient for me. I knew Osram. I should have guessed what he was up to. I am not sure what I could have done, but I should have done something."
"If you had," she said gently, "He likely would have ..." She paused, swallowing, considering her words. It was difficult to even contemplate. "Likely he would have killed you, Niall."
"Likely you are right." Niall smile wryly. "Although I would not have believed it at the time. I would have tried, I think, to reason with him. It would have been the honorable thing to do."
"I doubt reason would have sufficed," said Roisin. "Regardless, one cannot change the past," She reached out and lay her fingers aside his cheek, looking him in the eye. "And while your honor may have suffered, I must admit I prefer this outcome."
"My honor will recover," replied Niall, laying his fingers over hers. "And I, too, prefer this outcome."
For a long moment their eyes locked. The residual shame he felt still raised its head, and it was Niall who dropped his gaze first. Roisin knew what caused his discomfiture. While she held nothing against him, she knew his shame was a mark of his integrity. So she said nothing, only leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
Her sympathy soothed his ruffled feelings even as it steeled his determination to live up to her opinion of him. Being an orphan, he had sometimes had to resort to extreme measures to survive. He had learned to detest bullies, cheats and liars, having been their victim often. His distaste of such behavior only made it harder on his conscience when he had been guilty of theft and untruth, even though it was as a matter of survival, and even starvation had never pushed him to victimize one smaller or weaker than himself.
At the keep, he had managed to bury his conscience and misgivings under his studies and work. Once he came to Heston, dealing with the consequences of his actions had become inevitable. Fortunately, he had landed under the spiritual aegis of a woman who seemed to know and understand what he needed most. With Roisin's help, he had begun making reparation for his wrongs.
"I owe you so much," Niall said softly, "without your aid ..."
"You would have managed, I am sure," interrupted Roisin. His gratitude embarrassed her. She had done little, really, except to smooth his way. So, she smiled brightly and turned the conversation. "Besides," she continued, her tone taking on a teasing lilt, "I have benefited a great deal from having such a willing and able partner."
"Ah, I see," replied Niall in kind. "Now your true motives come to light."
"Indeed," she returned. "Good help is so difficult to find, you know."
"I suppose it is." Niall grinned, his eyes sparkling. Before his friendship with Roisin, he had not had a relationship that could accommodate teasing. Now, it came so easily with her and with Ash. "And good positions likewise."
"Well, there you have it," said Roisin airily. "Mutual enlightened self-interest." She attempted an expression of superior, icy disdain—and failed utterly, dissolving into giggles.
Her giggles, as usual, pulled chuckles from Niall that swiftly escalated to guffaws. It was impossible for him to listen to Roisin's giggles without responding with laughter of his own.
"Oh," gasped Roisin, leaning against a tree. "Oh dear." She wiped tears from her eyes. "My cheeks hurt."
"So do mine," said Niall, trying to catch his breath. "Sometimes, you are so silly."
"Why, thank you, sir," replied Roisin. "One should not always be serious or life gets far too sober."
"I appreciate your philosophy of life, Miss Roisin," he said, offering his hand.
"Why thank you, Master Niall," she replied, taking the offered hand and pulling herself upright. "And I appreciate your appreciation."
Smiling, Niall tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and they continued on their way. The sun was sinking low when they returned to the cottage with full satchels. By the time they had rinsed the pearl moss in the spring and lay it out to dry in the shed, Ash had arrived bearing a creel of chubby fish.
Dinner was, as usual when Roisin was there, a joint effort. From his humble beginnings with stew, Ash was becoming a proficient cook—a talent which most young males overlooked, but one he enjoyed. Like Niall, Ash could turn out tasty baked goods and used herbs in his dishes with very good results. He had, in fact, made a four course dinner for the two of them all by himself the night before.
"Truly, Roisin," Niall told her as they ate the succulent fresh fish, "I have not had chicken so tender and tasty in quite some time. His herbal rub was excellent."
"I do not doubt it," replied Roisin, beaming at Ash, who smiled shyly at his mentor's praise. "He had an excellent teacher, after all."
When Roisin finally took her leave, the full moon lit the lane as Frisky trotted toward home. As was his custom, Niall stood at the head of his lane, watching till she turned onto the main road. Frisky knew the way and stepped out briskly as they headed toward Heston.
Roisin was mentally composing a letter to Sevaka. It was, to her mind, long past time for someone to actually come and see how Niall was progressing. After he had lost his surly, defensive attitude, he had swiftly shown himself to be no danger to anyone. Quite the contrary, in fact. Having put away his protective show of indifference, he had embraced Heston as his community and taken an active interest in the well being of its inhabitants. If that did not show his fitness for release from his restrictions, she didn't know what would.
Niall had discovered a world beyond his deprived childhood, beyond the cult—a world that he had embraced and made his own place in. He had stated openly more than once that he had no desire to return to his old life. She honestly did not believe that he had any residual allegiance to the Scarlet Ossuary or retained any of their ideals. It occurred to her that her observations might be colored by her tender emotions. She was willing to acknowledge such, but only to a small degree. It was not her love for him that had endeared him to the rest of Heston. Nor was it her love that had changed Ash from a lost orphan to a loved pupil.
His parole had served its purpose, she believed, and it was time it was brought to an end. Perhaps she would speak to some of the other villagers about adding their opinions to hers in her request. That idea brought a smile. She was certain that she could find several who would be willing to endorse her recommendation. With that thought in mind, she made her way home. Tomorrow she would write to Sevaka.