Chapter 10 - First Day of School
This was the day I had been dreading the most. More than my first day here, more than meeting this huge family, more than the barbecue I had been forced to endure. Although granted, it wasn't that bad once I was drunk out of my mind.
I had woken up with the worst hangover ever, by the way. I had swore to Ben I was never drinking again, and he was never to let me drink again.
I woke up that morning feeling extra heavy. The past few days the weight had been better, almost bearable, but for some reason I was feeling more depressed than I had been. Maybe it was because it was six o'clock in the morning and I knew I had to spend my whole day locked in a high school, surrounded by a bunch of teens I knew would be judging me. I had spent hours the night before trying to pick out the perfect outfit for my first day of school, but it was impossible. Finally I had given up. Who cares if I didn't make any friends?
I told myself I didn't.
Reluctantly, I forced myself out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. The tiled floor was cold on my bare feet, making me shiver as I turned on the shower. Before getting in, I sent out a group text to my sisters, telling them that they'd better be awake already. That was our latest system of communication since this house was too big. We had been using the intercom, but there wasn't enough privacy with that thing. Anything that was said, the whole house heard.
It was hard to get out of the shower ten minutes later. The water was so hot against my skin it burned, but I welcomed the sting because it prevented me from thinking about other things. Groaning to myself, I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel. The mirror was foggy, so I wiped it with my hand, staring at myself in the mirror. I looked exhausted with deep, dark circles under my eyes and a frown across my lips. I shook my head, quickly reaching for my makeup bag on the counter. Looking like this on the first day would not do.
I heard footsteps approaching my room before Cora burst in, almost slipping on the wet tile. "Shi," she gasped as if she had been running, "Is this okay for the first day? I want to make a good impression." I smiled slightly as I looked her up and down, trying hard not to laugh. At least one of my sisters still valued my opinion. Cora was wearing a black v-neck t-shit and a pair of white skinny jeans. It was plain, but simple.
"You look beautiful as always," I smiled at her, laughing as she rolled her eyes. "Hey, I'm your sister. I wouldn't lie to you, right?"
"London said I look like a middle schooler," she groaned, wiping a hand over her face. She looked so distraught by this that my heart clinched.
"Here," I said, motioning for her to come closer. When she did, I quickly ran my mascara wand through her long, curly lashes, and put some lipgloss on her lips. I let her put on some blush and smiled at her. "There, no more middle school Cora."
"Thank you, Shi," She said, wrapping me in a hug. "You know you're doing a great job, right?"
"Huh?" My stomach clenched.
"With this, us, everything," She whispered, still clinging to me. "Sometimes I feel like I can't make it another day, but then I see you, and you're always smiling or laughing or encouraging us to be happy and I just...I don't know how you do it, but you're doing a great job, and I don't think I could do this without you."
None of my sisters had talked to me like this before. I mean I knew they loved me, I knew that we held each other together and made each other better, but they had never voiced these things to me. Don't get me wrong, I had never expected or needed recognition or a thank you, but hearing the words leave Cora's mouth made my heart beat a little bit faster. It felt nice, especially with how I had been doubting my abilities as the oldest sister.
"You know I'm always here for you," I told her, squeezing her a little bit tighter. Tears were starting to bite at my eyes, so I sniffed and pushed her away. "Now do me a favor and check on your sister for me."
"Aye aye, Captain," she giggled, saluting me. I saluted back before going back to my make up, still smiling to myself.
When I was done getting ready, I grabbed the backpack Savanna had gotten for me and jogged down the stairs. I had chosen to wear dark-wash skinny jeans and a white, loose-fitting top with flared out, long sleeves. I wouldn't say I looked picture perfect, but I looked pretty good.
The dining room was chaos. Everyone was talking at once, scrambling to eat before it was time to leave. Savanna had Skylar on her lap, brushing his hair out as he shoved scrambled eggs into his mouth. The twins were leaning over a comic book, completely neglecting their full plates even though Jason was yelling at them to eat, and Ryder was having some intense conversation with Gavin. I could tell by the way their shoulders hunched and eyebrows wrinkled.
I took my seat next to Arielle, squeezing her shoulder as she gave me an egg-filled smile. Everyone was here, much to my relief. I didn't have to go back and rush anyone to get ready. Rosie sat a plate down in front of me and I thanked her, giving her a smile. As I started to eat I felt a pair of eyes on me, so I looked up slowly. Ben, who was sitting across from me, was staring. "What?"
"Nothing," he said, a ghost of a smile on his face, "I just think this is the first time I've seen you...Put together?" He said it as if it was a question, but I think it was because he wasn't quite sure what to say. I knew he meant this was the first time he had seen me with my hair done, wearing make-up, and I had put on actual human clothes instead of sweatpants and sweaters. I blushed, ducking my head so he wouldn't see it.
"Gee thanks," I said sarcastically, trying to play off my embarrassment as attitude, "Are you saying I look like shit all the time?"
"No," he quickly exclaimed, almost jumping out of his seat, "I just meant that-"
"Okay kids," Jason said loudly, cutting off whatever Ben was about to say next. Part of me was grateful, but the other, bigger part of me wanted to know what he was thinking. "You need to get going or you're going to be late on the first day of classes. Shilo, London, and Cora, you're riding with Ben. You're probably going to be a bit squished...Just try to make it work. Everyone else, you're coming with me. Ready? Go!"
All of a sudden, everyone jumped from their seats and rushed to the garage door. I gave my almost full plate a remorseful look before I followed, hoisting my backpack onto one shoulder. My stomach was growling in protest, but there was no time to lose. I knew that Ben wouldn't be waiting on me.
When I reached his beat up truck, Ryder was standing by the open passenger door, motioning for me to get in. Rolling my eyes at him, I slid inside to the middle seat, and seconds later I was squished against Benjamin. "Why are we so squished?" I exclaimed, whipping around to look in the backseat. Gavin, Dallas, London, and Cora all looked at me with open mouths, as if to say 'you're the one squished?' This truck was meant to fit six people, not seven. I was just lucky there was a front middle seat, even if it was small.
"You're a small person, you'll be fine," Ben smirked, looking down at me. It wasn't my fault I was short and that he was practically a giant. I stuck my tongue at him, pulling out my cellphone and headphones. I had learned quickly that the only way to make it though a ride with Ben Miller was to blast music of my own. It didn't completely drown out the scream-o rock that he liked to play, but it helped me to relax my tense muscles.
"Why are we going in the same car anyway?" I grumbled, crossing my arms. It seemed like the Miller parents wouldn't allow us to ride with this many people in the car, because it "wasn't safe," and yet there we were, driving down the narrow dirt road, leaving a trail of dust behind us.
"Because we're all going to the same school, duh," London groaned, and I could tell by the sound of her voice she rolled her eyes at me. If I hadn't already given up on disciplining her I would've said something about her tone of voice, but instead I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. We were all dealing with the grief in different ways, I needed to give her some space to sort out her emotions. Ryder reached over and squeezed my arm, offering me a small smile of support.
"Okay guys," Ben said, raising his voice a little bit so that we could all hear him, "School lets out at 4:10, you have until 4:20 to get to this truck or I'm leaving your ass behind."
"But what if we don't make it that quickly?" I interrupted, sitting up a little bit straighter. Ten minutes wasn't a lot of time, especially with every student in the whole school trying to get home. I didn't have my schedule yet, but I knew I would be the one with my last class all the way across campus from where we parked. That was just my luck.
"Well then I guess you'll be finding your own way home, huh?" he muttered, not even glancing at me as he made a right turn onto the main road. We hadn't even reached the town yet. My eyes were heavy with exhaustion as I flipped through pictures on my phone, trying desperately to stay awake. More than anything I wished I had gotten to sleep a little longer, but the Millers lived so far away from anything that it took us almost forty-five minutes to reach the high school.
I could hear muttered conversations coming from the back seat, but I didn't bother to try and listen in. Cora had gotten surprisingly close to Gavin, which seemed impossible because every time I tried to have a conversation with him he ran away.
You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Even if I just I said one word to him he literally ran out of the room.
I had only made the drive to their small town a handful of times, but every time I did it made me smile. It was like a town you'd see in the movies; almost picture perfect, not to small, and just homey enough to make you want to stick around. It felt like everyone here was a family, and even though I was just looking in from the outside I felt welcome and at peace. It was strange, but I was starting to feel comfortable in my new home.
***
By lunch, I had completely changed my mind about feeling comfortable. High school here was like high school anywhere else. No one was nice, no one was family, and no one paid any attention to the new kid - except for the strange glances I got every once and a while.
The day had started off fantastically when they couldn't find my class schedule in their files. They found my sister's just fine, and they were on their way, but when they looked up my name they came up blank. Not only was I embarrassed - which was absurd because in no way was that my fault - but I missed most of my first period class. Of course I was accompanied and my absence was excused, but it was the most uncomfortable thing to walk in ten minutes before class ended. All eyes were glued to me as I made my way to the one empty desk in the back corner.
Second period I had history class, and my teacher was the most boring person in the whole wide world. Her name was Miss Gardner, she must have been one-hundred years old and her favorite topic was her five cats she had living in her house. She kept bringing them up and trying to relate them to World War II, but of course that didn't make sense. Her voice was shaky and hard to understand, so what little notes I was able to take probably wouldn't have been very helpful.
When I walked into the cafeteria for lunch, my stomach clenched. My feet made a scuffling sound along the lament floor; I felt like people were staring at me because of it, which was absurd. The roar of rowdy teenagers was way too loud for my shoes to be noticeable. I felt alone in the crowd of people, which was good, because I didn't want to draw attention to myself, but also, somewhat unsettling. I hadn't spent enough time in the Miller household to be completely used to the idea of always being around people, but I was, at the very least, used to having someone to talk to if I wanted. This place was the complete opposite. I was invisible.
I made my way through the line for food, got a plate full of something that hardly looked edible, and turned to face the tables. Halfheartedly, I scanned the crowd, hoping to lay eyes on a familiar face. Surely, with how many people I rode in the car with this morning, one of them had the same lunch period as me. I spotted Ben first, but because of my sort-of hatred towards him, I kept looking. Near the corner of the room, already surrounded by a group of chatty, spoilt looking girls I saw my sister, London. If she hadn't been making friends already, I would have sat with her. But I didn't want to embarrass her, not on the first day.
So, swallowing my pride, I made my way over to Ben's table. At least he was sitting with Rylin and Jeremy; maybe they would protect me from the beast.
"Hey guys, can I sit with you?" I asked shyly, slowing setting down my tray.
"No," Ben grunted, at the same time Rylin and Jeremy chirped, "yes." Shaking my head, I sat down anyway and stuck my tongue out at Ben. He didn't look happy, but I couldn't tell if it was because of me of if that was just the way his face looked. "How's your first day going?" Rylan asked me, placing her head in her hands, leaning on the table to get closer to me.
"This school is...boring," I finally mused, rolling my eyes. "But aren't all? This day has been uneventful." I could have sworn I heard Ben mutter, then go sit somewhere else, under his breath, but I decided to be the bigger person and not say anything. Instead, I settled for a subtle hair flip over my shoulder.
"I'm ready to go home," Jeremy groaned, pouting at me. "Any chance you want to break out of here with me and go somewhere else?"
"Sorry, I'm not trying to get in trouble on my first day." I laughed, shaking my head. Somewhere in my brain I knew he was flirting with me by the way he wiggled his eyebrows, but I was not interested in Jere. He seemed too sleazy for me; like a typical, horny teenager that would go for any female that showed them attention.
Slowly, Marks approached the table. He clutched a tray in his hands, and walked stiffly. I felt his eyes on me before anything else, and when I shifted my gaze to his he didn't look away. Without saying anything, he sat down next to me and started in on his food. Smiling, I took a bite of my own lunch. Something told me it was a privilege to sit next to Marks, and that made me happy.
"Have you had gym yet?" Ry asked me, reaching over and grabbing my wrist. "Please tell me you have it next period so I won't be along. I need someone to fake cramps with."
"Gross," Ben scoffed, wrinkling his nose.
"I don't know, actually," I admitted, pulling my schedule from my pocket. It was all wrinkled and torn up from being in and out of my pockets all day, but I could still clearly see that I did, indeed, have gym next period. I nodded at her, smiling.
"Yes!" She exclaimed, jumping from her seat. "No laps for me today, suck on that boys!"
"Boys?" I chirped, cocking my head to the side. Did she mean boys in general, or?
"These mofos," she groaned, pointing to the boys that were sitting around us. "Congratulations, Shiloh, you have gym with the whole squad."
Of course I did.
Of freaking course.
***
A/N: Whoa. Over four months since the last chapter was posted...all I can say is I'M SORRY! I got promoted recently, which means I'm required to work 50 hours every week, and I'm a full-time student. Needless to say I have a lot going on. Its not an excuse, but I just didn't have time to write. This chapter was written paragraph by paragraph over the past few months, and I'm still not happy with it, but at least I'm posting something. I'm sorry if my writing has gotten a bit rusty, but I'm working on it. I'm going to try to update sooner, but I can't promise anything...I'm hoping in 3 weeks (summer!!!!!) it'll be better! Once again I'm sorry, and if you've come back after all this time to read again thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
(If y'all can see everything, please let me know! When I view it I can't even see half of the chapter)