Chapter 25: Pain of saying Goodbye
Xander's P.O.V
"Yes princess nabili ko na yung inutos mo." nakangiting sabi ko habang hawak ko yung phone.
[Kuya yung Koala March?!]
Medyo nailayo ko yung tenga ko nung tumaas ang boses nya sa kabilang linya. "Yes princess I bought that one too."
[Great!] she looks happy on the other line.
I was looking around to see where the parking people park my car when I suddenly saw a one familiar face in the parking lot.
"Rina?"
[Who?]
"Sorry princess..." I said while looking at one direction. "Gotta go! I saw love."
[What?! Yuck!] she said trying to sound bitchy. [Oh well! Going to hang up. I don't want to get involve with romance!]
I laugh a little and a smile plaster in my lips while looking at her. "You sound bitter princess."
Naglalakad na ako palapit sa kanya. Good thing nakita ko ulit sya. I have a lot of explanation to do. I just hope na hindi nasira yung show nila ng dahil sa akin.
[Bitter? Huh! I feel better!] she mock on the other line.
I just laugh at my little sister's sentiments and voice. When I was about a few steps away from Rina, he came out.
"Villafuete..." I said then slowly lowers the phone from my ear.
[Huh? Who? Kuya sino bang—]
I didn't hear any words from Hanna anymore. I ended up a call.
Nakatingin lang ako sa kanilang dalawa. She looks tired while he looks amused. I know. I can see it in his smile. It was the same smile I have whenever I am with her...with Rina.
They look at each other like as if they have a secret connection.
She looks happy.
I smile bitterly to myself. The word I give too my sister jus a while ago has been throw back at me instantly.
Bitter. Yeah , that's me.
"Just like what I thought..."
My chest feels heavy all of a sudden. Napahawak ako sa tapat ng dibdib ko. It hurts. It really hurts.
Do you know how painful it is? Seeing the one you love happy with someone else? That no matter how much effort you give, you can never make her smile like what he can do?
It's too painful to accept the fact that no matter how hard I try to be perfect in front her eyes...
I can never be him. I can never replace him.
The smile slowly fades from my lips.
I lose.
I raise my phone and raised it to my eye level.
There was a legend that I watched in one of Hanna's anime that when you set the stolen photo of someone you love as your phone's wallpaper, without her/him knowing it for one month or more, you'll be together. That no one can separate you from her.
This day was supposed to be my 30th day. But why is it...why is it...
I can see droplets of water from my phone's screen. And before I knew it, tears flow from my eyes.
The legend lied to me.
I clear my throat and wipe the tears in my eyes and dial her number.
She looks so happy in my wallpaper. She's smiling towards me.
But I guess, stolen photos, the expression of people there, wasn't and can never be meant for you in the end.
While the phone continues to ring, I saw her riding on that car. It might belong to JD or something.
I ended it when she shuts the door.
I look at her from where I am standing.
Can I really let her go?
Why is it that love is not selfish? Bakit kailangan nating pakawalan yung taong mahal natin para lang sumaya sila? Bakit hindi pwedeng isipin mo muna ang sarili mo kung sasaya ka ba sa gagawin mo?
Can't I have her for myself only? Can I keep her?
But I know that is absurb.
Love is not selfish. Love is kind. Even though you'll get hurt in the end, as long as you set aside your selfishness and yourself gratification, everything will be fine...for the people you let go.
I try to dial her number again. And after a few rings, she pick it up.
[Hello—]
"Let's break up Rina."
I was shock to hear myself being stern and firm. I can do this.
Love is not selfish right?
[Xander...]
"I can see that you finally decided who to choose now..."
That's a mock for myself. Dahil noong una pa lang, alam ko na naman kung sino ang pipiliin nya sa aming dalawa.
I just tried to fool myself. Assuming that we can work this relationship out.
[Xander! Teka—]
I don't want to hear her say sorry so I ended the call. I don't want her to say sorry and telling me how she blame herself for what had happened.
I decided for myself. I decided to get hurt. There's no need to feel sorry for a wounded man like me.
I don't want her to regret...being with me. At least, that's the only consolation I can have.
I turned my head then walk away.
My feet feels heavy. My heart feels heavy.
The most painful part in saying goodbye...is walking away.
Rina's P.O.V
"Xander!"
Huminto sya nang marinig ang tawag ko. Pero hindi nya ako nilingon.
"Xander I—"
"No. Stop." he said then turned around. Look at me with a smile on his lips. "It's okay."
And I know he's lying.
"Xander please let me explain!" I said then walk towards him.
"There's no need to explain." he said stepping back. "Please Rina, wag ka munang lumapit sa akin."
I understand kaya huminto ako ng ilang dangkal sa harapan nya. Napayuko na lang ako. Hindi ko kayang salubungin yung mata nya. I feel guilty.
"I'm..."
"If you say sorry, hindi kita mapapatawad."
Napa-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya.
"Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!" sabi nya habang napapailing saka nya pinagkrus yung mga braso nya sa harap ng dibdib nya. "Ang kulit mo talaga kahit kailan!"
Napanganga ako sa paraan nya ng pananalita. Somehow he sounds...okay?
"I mean what I said Rina..." he said in a serious tone. "I want break up."
He smiles at me slowly. And there, right here and then, the smile tells me everything. How much damage and pain I caused him.
"Una na ako." he said then salute to me. "Hinihintay na ako ni Princess."
Tumalikod ulit sya at nagsimulang maglakad. Napatingin na lang ako sa likuran nya.
He's really leaving.
Suddenly, tears flow from my eyes. No matter how many times I wipe it, it won't stop.
Then I walk. Slowly, following him.
When he's slowly disappearing in front of me, I run. I run and grab his hand.
"Xander!" I said forcing him to face me. I bow in front of him. "I'm sorry!"
Hindi ko inangat ang ulo ko. Nanatili lang akong nakayuko habang umiiyak.
He's been so good to me. Took care of me these past three years. Pero anong ginawa ko? Sinaktan ko lang sya.
"I hate you now Rina..."
Nagulat ako nang hawakan nya ang baba ko saka nya inangat ang mukha ko.
And when I was standing one inch away from him, our eyes met.
"Di ba sabi ko do not say sorry?"
He wipe the tears away for me. He even removed some strands of my hair and placed it behind my ear. Then he pats my head.
"I said it's okay so don't waste your tears for me."
His eyes look as sad as mine. "Sorry." I said between sobs.
"You did it again." he said then he pinch both of my cheeks. "Ang tigas ng ulo mo kahit kailan! Ang kulit-kulit mo Rina Alcantara!"
Nagkatitigan lang kami sa loob ng ilang minuto. Walang gustong magsalita. Then later, Xander broke the silence.
"As a punishment for saying sorry..." he said then smiles at me. "You need to give me a break up hug."
I tried to smile at him saka unti-unting iniyakap yung mga braso ko sa kanya.
When I hug him, he pulled me closer. He placed his chin on my head while caressing my hair.
"You're a bad girl. You should be send to prison." he said while caressing my hair.
"I know." I just said.
Marahan nya akong inilayo sa kanya saka nya ako ulit tinitigan sa mata.
"Good bye Rina..."
Sobs chokes me. But I know that this is not the good time to cry.
Not in front of him. Not now.
"Bye Xander..." I said then tight my hug to him.
We hug each other for a while until we both decide that we need to part ways.
"See you..." he said then waved goodbye.
I send him the most genuine smile I can give to him now. I know that this is what he wants. Me sending him good bye without regrets....with acceptance and with encouragement to him.
This is it. This is the end.
And I don't know where to start now since he's already gone.
A house without a frame. That's me.
Because I just lost, the only person, who stays with me...when everyone tried to leave me three years ago.
JD's P.O.V
Oh great! It's already raining!
'Where the f*ck is that first kiss virgin?!'
"Arf!"
I turned my head to see Rue running towards me.
"You see your Mommy Rue?" I ask him then lift him and place to my lap.
The dog shrugged his head like as if in respond to 'I don't know too' as an answer.
"You know what Rue? Your Mommy is so annoying! She suddenly disappears! Argh! I don't know what to do with your Mommy anymore!"
Rue wag his tail as if he symphatizes me.
"Arf! Arf!"
I was shock when Rue suddenly jump from me then run towards the close door of my room's veranda.
"What is it boy?"
"Arf! Arf!" he continues to bark then started to scratch the door using his paws.
"Let me..." I said opening the door for him.
It's raining heavy outside. And I don't know what Rue wanted to show me.
"Arf! Arf!" he continues to bark, this time, loud to where he's looking.
I look to the direction Rue's barking then, in the middle of this heavy rain, under the light post on the gate, I saw a figure.
"Who's that?"
I turned my back and returned to my room to look for my binocular. When I got it, I go to Rue again and focus the binocular to the light post.
"Sh*t!"
What the f*ck is she doing under this heavy rain huh?!
Rina's P.O.V
It's cold. My body feels numb. Ganito din siguro yung nararamdaman ni Xander ngayon.
I deserve this.
Napa-angat ako ng tingin sa madilim na langit.
Go. Rain. Pour all your waters on me. Make me shiver. Make me numb all over, inside and out. Go wipe and hide the tears from my eyes.
Napakunot-noo ako nang makita ko na nag-iba ang kulay ng langit. It becomes red.
"What are you doing here huh?!"
Then, I heard the thunder spoke. And when I search for the face of thunder, it has a form.
"J-JD..." I said. My voice broke and shivering.
"Sh*t!" he curse then make me hold the umbrella. "Stand up!"
Iling lang ang isinagot ko sa kanya saka binitawan yung payong na pinahawak nya.
"What the?!" he said then get the umbrella again. "YOU. HOLD. THIS!"
Umiling lang ulit ako sa kanya.
"Don't stop the rain from falling JD. Don't defy what is meant to happened."
"HUH?!"
Nakita ko syang napa-face palm saka ako tinitigan ng matagal.
"Now what? You want to soak under this rain? You want to get sick?!"
Hindi ko na lang sya pinansin. Instead, niyakap ko yung mga braso ko sa paa ko saka itinago yung mukha ko sa kanya.
Sick? Yes I want that. Gusto kong masaktan. Para naman mapagbayaran ko lahat ng naging kasalanan ko sa kanya pati na rin kay Xander.
"F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!"
I cried. And this time I cried my heart out. I don't care what he will think. I just want to cry.
"STOP CRYING DUMBASS!"
Nagulat ako nang bigla nya akong itinayo saka nya kinuha yung baba ko at marahas iyong itinaas.
"If you want to cry, then cry...INSIDE! Not here! You'll get yourself sick!"
Napatingin na lang ako sa mata nya. He's eyes is furious. He's mad....mad at me.
I bit my lower lips to stop my loud cry.
"Let's get inside..." he said aftera heavy sigh.
Wala na akong nagawa ng hilain nya ako papasok sa loob ng mansyon. Hawak-hawak nya ako. Halos yakap na nga ng isang braso nya yung balikat ko while the other holds the umbrella for me. He doesn't care kung nababasa na sya.
"You know what?" he said while we're walking. "If you want to cry, then cry for yourself." he added then turned his head to me. "Don't make others worried sick just because you cry."
We stop walking then he throw the umbrella somewhere then holds my both shoulder for us to see face to face.
"Don't make me worry for you Rina..." he said in serious tone. "Please."
And before I can react, he's slowly pulling me towards him. His one hand behind my neck while the other is behind my waist.
He's pulling me while looking staright into my eyes, waiting for my reaction.
Hearing him say please makes my eyes close and wait for our lips to touch.
Then, under the heavy rain, in front of our very house.
He kiss me.
Romualdo's P.O.V (JD's Father)
"May bisita ba tayo Catherine?" tanong ko habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.
Someone, two people I think, is standing in the middle of our lawn.
"Wala naman. Bakit?"
Napalingon ako sandali sa kanya. "Pwede mo bang i-abot sa akin yung binobular dyan sa may drawer?"
Napaharap ako ulit sa may bintana saka itinapat yung binocular sa mata ko matapos iyong mabigay ng asawa ko.
I almost utter a curse to what I saw.
"No..."
"Bakit ano yun?" nag-aalalang tumabi sa akin ang asawa ko. "May tao ba sa baba?"
"Yes." I said under my clenching teeth.
Napakuyom ako ng kamao habang nakatingin sa dalawang nasa baba.
What the hell is going on here?!
A/N: Nakaprivate ang chapter na 'to. Kaya sa mga hindi ko follower, sorry na lang kayo people! Mwahahahaa! Ang bad ko no? >:] Dami kasing silent reader eh! Kaya ayan! Labas-labas din pag may time! :)
Few more chapters to go at MJSB BOOK 3 NA!!! Excited na ba kayo? Well, wag muna. Dami pang mangyayari dito sa Book 2. Pero ako na nagsasabi sa inyo,
"HINDI NYO KAKAYANIN ANG ENDING NG BOOK 2!" Mwahahaha! Spoiler ako no?
HALA! NAKITA SILA NG PAPA NI JD!!! Ano na mangyayari sa ating JDINA? Paano si Xander?
Yung next chapter ay dedicated kay Papa Xander. Ready na ba kayong makilala yung lady love ni Papa Xander?
Halikan under the rain...pft! Cliché! but not to our JDINA. Kinilig ako sa pag "please" ni JD eh!
ANO MASASABI NYO MGA BAKLA?! MAGCOMMENT KAYO DALI!!!
Sa mga vote lang ng voite dyan, wag nyong antaying mamention ko kayo dito. Napipikon na ako ah? Di ba maintindi ng MAGCOMMENT?! Aish! =_________=+++