Cassandra
I've learned that with my development comes pain and suffering. And with that comes challenges, those are against my mental state and my choices. My body will change, not in shape, but in strength.
The truth is that I'm scared. No, I'm terrified. I don't want to hurt anybody, and I don't want to lose myself like I almost gave up in the woods with the rogues. I almost caved when it didn't even begin yet. How foolish am I?
I didn't even notice how long I've been staring at the wall in front of me until weight dipped the bed down beside me. I didn't need to take a glance to know it was Chase. He was watching me now, and tomorrow I started school again, developing some pain or not.
The pain comes first, then the mental battles.
Chase grabbed my hands, and that's when I understood why. They were trembling. I looked over at him and gave him an assuring smile which he returned.
"I know you're scared, Cassandra, but I also know you're strong enough to win. You can do this." I nodded to his words. "No matter how much pain and convincing you experience, you have to remember what you would give up if you gave in. Don't let them crumble your true self." He squeezed my hand and I squeezed back.
I laid down, giving my back to face him. He laid down beside me and turned off the light beside him.
I'm scared.
------
I sat up from the bed and heaved over in pain. My heart hammered against my chest and my head pounded. I shrieked as the pain came back in my abdomen, like a knife searing through my skin.
Chase sat up beside me on the bed and put his arm around me, rubbing my arm as tears fell from my eyes.
It hurt so damn much, and to think this was the first stage was disappointing. I wanted it gone. It's worse than a period and I'd rather experience that for a month than have this pain again.
It faded, not as painful as it was, and my body was starting to relax again.
"Think you can sleep again?" Chase asked. I nodded slowly, wiping the remaining tears off my cheeks. He laid me down again gently, putting the blankets back over my body. After I was comfortable he did the same for himself, and put his arm around my waist.
I immediately tensed. We never cuddled or anything like this. I turned to give him a look, but he just shrugged.
"Relax, Cassandra, it will help with the pain." He said. I nodded and got more comfortable against his chest. He put his head in the crook of my neck and I started to drift into sleep again..
-------
I trudged down the stairs, ignoring the pains all over my body. It was worse, and I woke up multiple times because of different pains in different places on my body took place, and it sucked because I barely got any sleep. Chase got just as little sleep as I did because he comforted me and tried to make the pain bearable, even though it barely helped, but I was grateful.
"Ready?" Chase yawned. I nodded, ignoring my heads protest. Everything was in pain, and it sucked. I didn't know why I needed to feel pain for this transformation anyways.
We got in his car and he took off.
"Don't worry, Cassandra. They will respect your privacy. If they don't just come to me."
"I already told you that I can take care of myself." I snapped. He sighed.
"I know you're in pain and that you are snappy because of it, and I don't want to add stress on it."
"Fine." I said as he pulled into the parking spot he usually parks in. I hopped out of the car and before I could storm into the school Chase's voice stopped me. "Try to not be snappy with your friends. Keep in mind they are only concerned." I nodded, not looking back at him, then continued my path inside school.
Why can't I just drop out? I'm only going to be Luna, and having to know what five plus five is won't help me out.
I spotted my friends, not removing my scowl as I trudged over to them. I ignored the whispers and stares of curiosity I got from fellow students.
"Hey, you holding up?" Mandy asked, snapping her gum.
"Barely." I growled. Maybe this was changing my personality? Or maybe it was just because I was in pain and I was easily irritated?
"Chase filled us in, but not everybody else. He wanted us to understand what was happening to you and to help you if needed, so just ask and we'll act." Mandy replied cheerily, ignoring my grim reply. I nodded and grabbed a piece of gum out of her stock, unwrapping it and popping it in my mouth.
"Pain start yet?" Ameth asked.
"Mhm."
"Hopefully it will go away soon." Mandy gave a pout.
"I don't know about that." Ameth started. We both snapped out heads in her direction, a question lingering in the air between us. She sighed before continuing.
"Chase explained to me how he did as much research as possible to learn about the Dark Wolf. He told me that in order to build strength and preparation for future suffering you have to go through a long period of pain, more than any other wolf would be able to take." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. I groaned.
"And I thought it couldn't get worse than this." I grumbled. The bell rang and we all headed to our first class. Teachers would give me looks, questioning why I had showed up today. They can go fuck themselves.
Once I reached my locker there were some notes taped to it. I scanned some, then tore them off realizing they weren't to make me feel better, but to feel worse.
'You are a fucking witch'
'Die in hell'
'Join your little demons and rot to death'
Those were the few I read, and I angrily threw them into the middle of the hall, not caring anymore. I grumbled under my breath and grabbed my things, then slammed my locker shut, heading to class.
------
It was lunch now and people would not mind their own goddamn business, constantly asking questions and stating concerns. Some would give me shit, but I would tell them to piss off.
"Are you okay?"
"Is everything alright with you and Chase?"
"God, June is such a slut."
"How've you been?"
I want to stab the next person who comes up to me before they can say anything, good or bad.
"Calm down, Cassandra. We'll wave the next person off before they can talk, so chill." Ameth said before tossing another fry in her mouth. I breathed a heavy sigh before taking another bite off this fake lettuce salad.
"I'm about to snap." I muttered.
"We can tell." Mandy shifted uncomfortably in her seat before stabbing her own salad with her fork.
Another pang of pain made its way to my chest, and I instantly dropped my fork, trying to find air. Mandy and Ameth raised their glances, eyes filled with concern. I waved them off as I stood slowly. Some others gave me concerned looks.
"I-I need to just find a bathroom to cool o-off." I said to my friends.
"Need help?" Ameth asked standing. I shook my head.
"N-no, eat." I stumbled across the cafeteria, grabbing onto things to help me stand as I went. Others offered me help, but I quickly declined.
I grabbed on to the wall, but I slipped before I could hold myself up. Except my body never hit the ground and a pair of arms was holding me up.
"Chase, I'm fine. Just let me go wash up." He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me like I was crazy.
"No way in hell, Cassandra." I shot him a look. "Okay, that wasn't intended as a joke-"
"I know, just let me go to the washroom in peace."
"Pain isn't peace."
"Just shut up and let me go!" My anger was on a thin string, and him constantly pestering me was annoying to no end. Some turned heads at us and watched in silence, but others continued to chat away and eat.
"Cassy, I'm trying to help." I pushed him away tiredly with my hands, but he didn't fight back as he stumbled back a bit.
"I know, but I don't want your goddamn help! I'm done with you all trying to talk to me and help me, but I really just want to be alone!" I screeched. Everyone was silent now, and it was like déjà vu.
"Okay, just calm down and-"
"No!" I thrashed angrily, attempting to punch Chase, but he caught my clenched hands. He looked me in the eyes sternly.
"We're at school. Wait for a tantrum when we go home." He whispered trough gritted teeth. The pain in my chest returned and my breathing became unsteady. Chase lifted me off the ground and carried me into the girls bathrooms, ignoring some gasps in the cafeteria.
He sat me on one of the closest toilets by the sinks then ran out of the stall. I listened to the sound of a sink running. I was sweating and clinging to anything I could desperately, trying to breathe.
Chase returned with a wet paper towel. He leaned down and placed the cool paper towel on my forehead. It instantly cooled me off, and my sweating decreased.
He continued to pat around my face and neck. Before he could do that to my chest I gripped his wrist, sending a threatening glare at him. He raised his hands in surrender and left the stall to throw it away. When he came back he picked up my small frame and sat on the toilet, then pulled me to sit in his lap.
He rubbed small circles in different places on my body, and my breathing was getting back to normal.
A bell sounded as a signal that lunch was over.
"You better?" Chase asked behind me. I nodded and he stood up, helping me off him first. He grabbed my hand and we left the bathroom. Nobody dared to come in the whole time.
"Thanks." I whispered. He looked down at me and nodded.
"I wasn't going to take no as an answer anyways."
"Your father is right. I can't control my anger, and maybe this isn't a good environment for me."
"I agree, but we need to figure circumstances out before we do anything different."
I nodded and Chase took me to class before he went to his own class. People would give me side glances, and I would flip them off when they turned back around. The rest of the day continued like that.
-----
I was currently in the shower, curled up in a ball of pain as the water sprinkled down on my back and head. I tried taking slow breaths, but nothing was working. My emotions made me feel bipolar.
A knock sounded on the door, but even if someone barged in they wouldn't see me immediately. The curtain was drawn.
"Cassandra?" A voice asked. I knew who it was, and I was trying my best to not snap at him. Yes, Chase was extremely kind helping me out, but it was irritating to be constantly pestered by 'are you alright?'
"What?" I croaked as loud as I could to be heard over the shower.
"It's been an hour since you got in the shower."
"I know, I'm just having a problem with my emotions." I replied back. After a few minutes of silence I heard the door open, and my instinct was high on alert.
"Don't you dare pull the curtains back, because Chase I swear to god-"
"Chase is gone." A deep voice interrupted. I knew that voice anywhere.
"Gabriel."
"Cassandra, I only have a few minutes here before they know I've gotten out. Now I want you to get out and dry, slip on some clothes fast and we can get out of here quickly." He said it like it was so easy to remember, but my mind was pounding with questions. I haven't seen him in so many years, and now that he's here I'm starting to wonder.
"Cassandra, get out of the goddamn shower." He demanded. I pulled the curtain, but covered my body.
"Give me my towel." I out my hand out to him. He growled, but did what I said anyways. His hair was blonde, light as ever. I was wondering if it was fake or not.
I tried to not stare, but once I passed him it was hard to ignore his haunting scent.
We're here. A voice reminded me. Who? I quickly grabbed sweatpants and one of Chase's shirts, ignoring the protesting growl Gabriel produced behind me. I went back into the bathroom and got dressed, making sure Gabriel wasn't peeking. I was trying my best to stall.
I walked out and instantly was grabbed by Gabriel. He dragged me to the window and hopped out with me.
I hate Gabriel. With all my heart. I used to love him, but now I only feel hate. He was using me because he knew I was the Dark Wolf. And now that I know that I'm not letting him get by with his plans.
"Wait." I cried, fake helplessly. He turned and gave me wide eyes.
"What?" He hissed. People noticed Gabriel escaped and some started coming this way. A crowd was swarming after him.
"Come on!" He yelled, starting to pull me along, but I just held him back. "Are you crazy, Cassandra?!"
"No, I'm smart, and I know you never loved me. You used me, you little bastard."
"No, I did-" before he could continue I brought my leg to his head, kicking him to the ground. He tried to get up, but I held him down.
"You disgust me." I hissed. I was caving into my anger. "And you are going to pay for leading me on!" I growled and started to punch, but he threw me off of him. He got up and stormed over to me.
"You little bitch. I thought you were going to cooperate, but it looks like you new a little teaching." He grabbed me up from the ground by the collar of my shirt.
"I know you don't have your powers yet, Cass, and I was going to help you learn, so come willingly or come with a beaten body!" He growled. I chuckled and he gave me a confused glare. Then I stopped laughing and stared him square in the eye.
"Well, Gabe, you thought wrong." And with that he was torn from my body by more of my demons. I was starting to enjoy this power.
He frantically screamed as the demons taunted and beat him. They were laughing with entertainment as I watched. Gabe caught sight of me and pleaded with his eyes.
"Cass! I was kidding! Help me!" He pleaded.
"Cassandra Matthews, call off your demons now!" A familiar angry voice yelled behind me. I sighed and turned, smiling innocently at Chase. He stormed up to me, ignoring the hisses from one of the demons.
He grabbed my shoulders, also ignoring the angry looks my demons gave him for touching me.
"Cassandra, call them off before they rip his heart out." When I didn't reply he clenched his jaw. "Now."
I turned and waved my hand in a zipping motion. They disappeared, and a terrified Gabriel was now sobbing. He looked roughed-up.
I turned back to Chase and growled.
"Happy?!" I asked. Before I could storm away Chase engulfed me in his arms.
"You aren't going anywhere." He said. I wiggled in his grip, but it only seemed to tighten.
"Don't make me call them back on you." I threatened. His eyes narrowed down at me.
"I know you too well." He replied. Alpha Dawn stormed through the crowd and looked at us.
"Guards, take him back into the cells" he ordered. Men came up and carried Gabe away and Alpha Dawn turned to me, eyes black and nose flared.
"You!" He yelled. I barely flinched. "You almost killed my prisoner, and I need him for questioning."
"He was about to kidnap me!" Okay, I shouldn't talk back to an Alpha, but from the power I just experienced it never seemed to take my confidence down a notch.
"You don't need to kill him! You're getting out of control with this, and I've been kind enough to give you time to control yourself, but if things like this keep happening I won't hesitate to send you far from here in the middle of nowhere."
"Father-"
"Take her to your room before I break."
Chase sighed, defeated before proceeding to picking me up.
"Hey! I can walk!" I squirmed.
"Cassandra, please. I'm tired and sick of this behavior, so please just stop." I looked into his eyes, seeing the truth before giving in and nodding.
I need to get a grip before I loose my sanity.
.....
This chapter is I think the longest I've written for this book.
:( back to school today for me