Amethyst
Onyx stayed for another day, making sure that I was okay. He brought back my car, cooked me meals, fed and walked Champagne, washed the dishes and even did my laundry (to my utter mortification). It isn't fun to lie in bed with the knowledge that your sister's wedding planner is rummaging through your underwear. We both tried our best to keep our interaction platonic, but now that a certain line had been crossed, it was impossible to take a step back. It kept occurring again and again - the heated glances, the not-so-innocent contact, the sudden decrease in the distance we kept between us, and occasional kisses on the forehead or cheek. It was so painful. I wanted to take the leap and commit myself entirely to him, but something kept holding me back. I was, deep inside, wary - four failed relationships, one of which ended in such an ugly way, were bound to have some impact. I wasn't so pathetic as to make Onyx pay for the mistakes of my past boyfriends - he wasn't them. I wasn't going to swear off relationships because a bunch of specimens of the male species had screwed up. But I had a nagging feeling that I could have been partly responsible for my failed relationships - maybe I didn't enter them entirely willingly, so I wasn't as devoted to it as I should have been. I didn't really see any place where I had been insincere, but maybe I was biased. I didn't want things with Onyx to go downhill because of me. I would be be very careful - I would test the ground before I took each baby step.
But testing took time, and I was afraid that by the time I reached him, he would not be there.
That unreasonable fear stayed in my head as I walked with him to his car at the end of his stay. We were silent, each contemplating our own issues, knowing that our time together was fast running out. More than once, I almost drew him down and kissed him. But I controlled myself and shot him a polite smile instead, clenching my fists at my sides.
"Well, I guess this is it," Onyx said, unlocking his car and turning back to me, looking as unwilling to leave as I was to let him go.
"Don't say it like that," I said nervously. "It sounds like goodbye. I don't want it to be that."
"It isn't. We're going to keep meeting, and we'll figure out what we have between us along the way, alright?"
"But what if it takes too long? What id you decide you don't want to wait?"
"I told you that I would wait for as long as it took, Amethyst. I intend to keep my word."
I took a step closer to him. "But why?" I asked. "Why are you willing to wait for me?"
Onyx cupped my face in his hands. "Because something happened the first time I saw you," he answered. "Maybe that crash readjusted my brain's compass so that it always points to you."
I laughed, and I had never been more attracted to him than I was at that moment, on hearing those words. "If you keep this up, I don't think you'll have to wait for long," I told him honestly.
"Here's hoping." He kissed my forehead tenderly, a sweet kiss filled with promise of a future. "For good luck," he explained when I asked him why he did that.
With one last smile, he got into his car and backed out of my driveway. As the car drove down the hill, it took my happy mood with it, leaving me afraid and sad. Shoulders hunched, I returned indoors and decided to talk to my friends in the military. They were idiots, but they gave out good advice when they felt like it.
************************
"Thyst, you bitch! You're back!"
I smiled. "Hello to you too, Will," I sighed. "Where's everyone else?"
"Francis, Aidan and Gordon went to the bar with a few other guys from the unit," he answered. "Jeff is asleep - Dave and Brody are taping him up to the bunk."
"What about the Fletcher and George?"
"They're showering, I think."
"You guys keep pretty good track of each other."
"We have to. You never know when..."
"Don't say it, Will." My throat choked up. "I worry enough as it is."
"Don't do it, baby girl. We can handle ourselves." Will smiled gently. "The rest is an occupational hazard."
"Putting it that way doesn't make it any better," I told him. "Every time I press the call or receive call button, my heart jumps into my throat. I freak out when I don't see any of you."
"Hey, hey, don't worry so much, sweetie. Believe in us, will you?"
I nodded, but didn't say anything else.
"Now. How's it going?"
"Actually, there's something I needed to talk to you about."
"First tell me this. Is Jade giving you any trouble? Are you doing okay?"
"Well, that." I cleared my throat. "I've started getting migraines again, but that's probably just the stress of planning such a big wedding."
"She said what? Migraines?" Dave plopped himself onto the bed next to Will. "Thyst, what's going on?"
"It's just the stress," I said dismissively. "Really."
"Your migraines are not a joke, Thyst. If they've started again, there's something serious going on. Has Jade messed with you?"
"No," I said. "Not more than she usually does."
Neither of the two looked convinced, but they didn't elaborate on that topic, because their attention was drawn to something else.
"Ey, what's that on your couch? Is that...is that a man's shirt?" Will asked, squinting at the screen.
I turned around, and sure enough, a white v-neck is tossed over the back of my sofa, clearly left behind by Onyx. I hear Dave and Will high-five as I curse out loud and turn back to find them wearing expressions of pride and victory. "Now don't you jump to conclusions - " I begin.
"Whooo!" Will crowed. "Our Thyst is screwing a guy! She's not going to be a nun!"
"Will," I mutter, reddening as I see other Marines turn towards the camera. "You've got it all wrong."
"No, I have it all absolutely right! Ey, Fletcher! Brody! Thyst's screwing a new guy!"
More men began to turn to the screen to stare. I waved at them shyly, making several ears turn pink. "He's lying!" I said loudly. "Don't listen to him, anyone! No sex since the last six months!"
"You're embarrassing yourself further," Dave pointed out.
"Oh my God," I said, my face burning, as Fletcher whooped in the background and George appeared in the background to make kissy faces.
"Are you going to help me or what?" I complained.
"Oh! Right, right." The joking stopped immediately. George pushed Will off the bed and took his place. "What is it you need our help with, baby girl?"
"I need an honest opinion," I said.
"Go ahead."
"Do you guys think I wasn't entirely committed to my relationship with Mason?"
Sadness colored the expressions of my closest friends. "Oh, Thyst," Fletcher sighed.
"What?" I asked, swallowing the developing lump in my throat.
"Girl...what is all of this about? Please don't tell me that Mason or Jade said something to you."
"They didn't," I said, "I'm just thinking. I don't understand why Mason would do that to me. We were so happy, and then all that had to happen...maybe I am responsible? Did Mason feel like I didn't love him enough? Did I not love him? Was I not sincere? Because I never saw signs in Mason...so something was wrong wiht me, wasn't it?"
"Amethyst," Brody said, his voice stern. "If you didn't love Mason well enough, you wouldn't be hurting even after all this time. And to answer your question, I don't think you weren't sincere - I think you put in too much. No bias here. Because you are the only one hurt in this."
"Well, then I'm paying for something, aren't I?"
"No! No, you aren't. Mason is a phenomenal douche. Your only fault was that you were so much in love with him that you still feel as if he is perfect - that he cannot do any wrong."
"I'm over him!"
"Nobody said you aren't, Thyst. Why are you asking us this?"
"Well, you see, Onyx and I, we...we're not having sex! Stop smiling at me like that! We just...I like him, but I'm afraid that I'll mess up, and he'll leave me."
Will chuckled. "The only way you will screw up, Thyst, is by being afraid and hesitant. Don't overthink too much - I did that, very nearly destroyed my relationship with Amelia. I don't mean that you go wild and start being all impulsive - do be careful. Just not so careful that he begins to think that you're not entirely sure of the relationship."
"I'm not sure," I whimpered.
"Then there's no rush," Fletcher said. "If he likes you enough, he'll wait."
"How will I know when I'm ready?"
"That differs from person to person, Thyst. All I can say without losing my balls is that you'll know when he's the one you want to go to at the end of the day instead of your home."
I nodded, then smiled. "Thanks, Fletcher. By the way, too late - your balls are gone."
"Shut up," Fletcher mumbled. "Imma go wrestle somebody. This is what I get for helping out, what's the world come to..."
*****************************
The next time I walked into Onyx's office, I was nervous. Champagne was with me again, on her best behavior this time. The receptionist thought my huge dog was incredibly cute, but she still couldn't allow her in, but apparently Onyx had anticipated that because he called the desk and asked them to make an exception. I was about to head towards the elevators when the receptionist, whom I got to know was named Faith, told me that Onyx was coming down to greet me. My eyes widened almost as much as hers did, but at least it gave Faith a canine playmate for a few minutes.
I was watching Champagne and making sure that she didn't chew anything up as she nosed her way around Faith's desk. I had quit turning back to look at the elevators every time they dinged for fear that I was being too obvious. So I was a little startled when I heard Onyx's voice echoing across the lobby.
"Amethyst!" he called.
Champagne immediately lost all interest in Faith's shoes. She rocketed out of her spot and bounded towards the man approaching us in his impeccable suit, drooling as much as I was.
"Hey there, gorgeous!" he boomed, leaning backwards as Champagne reared up and placed her forelegs on his shoulders and barked into his ears. "Look what I got you! Look! Do you want a treat?"
Champagne barked again as he pulled out a bag of dog treats from his pocket, opened it and offered a few dog treats to the overexcited dog. They were gone within seconds, and before anyone knew what was happening, Champagne was smothering Onyx with doggie kisses.
"Down, girl," I said, tugging on her collar. "Don't slobber all over him." For some reason, Champagne never listened to me when Onyx was involved. I put my hands on my hips and frowned as Onyx willingly wrestled with Champagne, vigorously rubbing her as she licked his face.
"Champagne, put him down. You never know where he's been!" I loudly called.
That made Champagne back off, and drew surprised gasps from the already astonished employees. Onyx narrowed his eyes at me as I realized what I had said and burst out into apologies.
"Sorry, I didn't mean you specifically! It's just that she knows that command is not to be disobeyed under any circumstances, otherwise she would have ruined your..." I eyed his now disheveled suit and his slobber-covered face. "...suit."
For a long moment, Onyx's expression didn't change, and I swallowed nervously. But then he smiled warmly, and I visibly relaxed as he let out a laugh and whistled, making Champagne lope over to him.
"C'mon, Houston," he said, grabbing a hold of Champagne's collar. "Let's take the party upstairs. Faith, would you please have Hilde put a box of paper towels in my office? I'm out of those again."
I followed Onyx into an elevator, keeping my nervous dog close. Once the door closed, though, I quickly realized that he and I were in closed quarters, and would be by ourselves for quite some time. I shot a glance at Onyx, and he seemed to be coming to the same conclusion, because he looked at me too. We shared a shy smile and tried to shift away from each other, but there wasn't enough distance no matter how much we pressed into the walls. Once we reached his floor, we walked to his office in silence and took our respective seats.
"So." Onyx cleared his throat again. "So."
"Living arrangements," I reminded him. "You were going to get someone to help me on that."
"Oh, that." Onyx suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Looks like it's you and me on this. My staff refuses to work with the Jade Houston wedding."
I smiled. "I wonder why," I said sarcastically.
"I''m sorry."
"I am too - but for you, not for anyone else."
Onyx smiled nervously. "You really don't like your family, do you?" he asked.
My response was automatic. Keep up thee image. Nobody who doesn't need to know should know. "No, they just tend to be way too fastidious. They don't mean to be so hard to deal with - they're just perfectionists."
Onyx was not fooled. "I can't tell whether you're being defensive or delusional, Lady," he said, frowning slightly.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry for being so intrusive, but you and your family are at odds and I can see it. The way you and your sister look at each other, the way your family never greets you when they arrive, the way they never come with you - it's not normal. I've done a lot of events, Amethyst. I know people's behaviorisms."
I looked at my hands in my lap, feeling scolded. "So?" I mumbled. "Everyone has problems. They get sorted out."
"In most cases," Onyx said, his tone laced with sarcasm.
"Okay, living arrangements!" I said loudly, making both Onyx and Champagne jump. "Let's get it done, I don't want to keep you busy for too long."
"Ah. We'll see about that."
************************************
It took us two hours to get things going. Everybody had preferences and complaints, and adjusting them all was giving both Onyx and me a headache. I accidentally mumbled that my head hurt, and it sent Onyx into a frenzy. Before I could stop him, he scrambled for my bag, dug out my bottle of pills and pushed it into my hand with a bottle of water.
"Go on," he said, panting a little. "I don't want to see what I saw the other day. Hurry."
I laughed. "Onyx, I'm not getting a migraine," I said.
Onyx's expression turned from urgent to mystified. "What? But you said..."
He shot me a confused look, and it was unbelievably adorable. I very nearly started cooing. "I said I have a headache. When I get migraines, my vision gets fuzzy - but I can see that pretty face of yours very clearly."
He looked sheepish as he put the pill and the bottle away. I tried not no laugh again as he did that, because I was inches away from pinching his cheeks. "Sorry," he muttered as the tips of his ears turned pink. "I don't usually freak out like that, it's just - whoa!"
His cry was lost in Champagne's yelp as he stepped on her tail. He tumbled backwards as Champagne trotted away, and the next moment there was a crash as he fell against his desk. "Ow," he whined.
I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing as Onyx pouted plaintively, surrounded by papers ans stationery. I heard the door open and Onyx's secretary come in, but for some reason, when she saw the scene in front of her, she simply smiled to herself and shut the door again. I shrugged off the strange behavior and knelt next to Onyx, ready for the assault his eyes were about to launch on me.
"Don't make big sad eyes at me," I said as I looked into his wide black eyes, filled with a heady mixture of fake sorrow, mischief and amusement. "Not going to work. I have enough practice with Champagne."
"So it's not working at all?"
"Not even a smidge."
"Dammit."
That set me laughing again. "Oh, you're so sweet!" I squealed, pulling his cheeks as I did so.
Onyx swatted my hands away, but then he was serious. "You think I'm sweet?" he asked.
I nodded. "I know you're sweet. You've done so much for me since I've met you..." I sat down properly to relieve the pressure on my heels. "Thank you for that. You didn't have to do it."
Onyx shrugged. "Hey, I was there, so I did it. It's what friends do."
I gasped. "You just friendzoned me," I said, my tone accusing.
"What? No, I..." Onyx waved his hands around as he tried to recover. "I didn't mean it that way - "
"So I'm not even your friend?"
"I don't mean that either! What? You just accused me of - "
"Thin ice, mister." I leaned forward so my face was inches from his. "Very thin ice."
"Oh, really? I think that this - " he pushed aside my scarf, revealing the hickey that was still fading - "is ample proof that you are very far from the friendzone."
"People change their minds," I argued.
"Not in this case I don't." He traced the shape of the hickey with his finger, and I had to suppress a shudder. "Nope. Not even for a second."
I reached up and caught his hand in my own. "I'm glad you feel that way," I said, weaving my fingers through his.
"Do you? Feel as I do?"
"I didn't give you a hickey, so no."
"I'm serious, Amethyst."
"Alright, alright. I do like you, Onyx - and I will never let you forget that I was the one who said it first - but don't you think it's too soon?"
"Sometimes, I do. But then I realize that I am counting in days when I should be counting in seconds. And when I do, I realize that I have cherished each and every moment spent with you. And there's a lot of moments."
I smiled. "How do you speak like that?" I asked him. "Half the time, the stuff you say makes me want to melt into a puddle."
"Just speaking the truth. Being eloquent is easy when I'm with you." Something sparked in his eyes. "Which is why you should be my date."
My brain came to a screeching halt. "Say what?" I said stupidly.
"There's a charity ball I'm going to this Friday, my company is donating and I'm making a speech. Be my date."
I very nearly started jumping up and down in joy. A wide grin spread across my face, and Onyx smiled too, and for that one moment, everything stopped. And then that moment ended, and reality hit me with all of its enormous momentum.
"I would have loved to, Onyx, but I can't. Everyone knows that our families don't get along and that you're planning my sister's wedding. It isn't proper."
Disappointment colored his expression and his shoulders hunched. "Oh," was all he said, sounding crushed.
"Onyx, please, don't be sad."
"I don't know since when you started caring about propriety. We've been hanging out a lot outside of our professional relationship. It didn't seem to bother you then."
"You're right, it's not the propriety that really worries me."
"What is it, then?"
"I'm afraid of what being seen with me would do to you. To your image."
Onyx looked at me with an appalled expression. "Don't you dare worry about that!" he exclaimed, taking my hands in both of his. "Don't you dare! Amethyst, I don't care what people are going to say then. No matter whom I take with me, stuff is going to be said. And technically, our informal relationship is older than our professional one, so we aren't doing anything wrong."
"Older by an hour."
Onyx shrugged. "It's still older," he said.
I wasn't going to lie - the thought of being Onyx's date was exciting. But I was still worried about hurting his public image, and I didn't want him to resent me.
"I understand, Onyx, but..." I began.
"Please don't say no, Amethyst. Please." He brought my hands up to his chest and pressed them against his rapidly beating heart. "Don't be so afraid. I won't let anything happen to you - or to me. Please."
I sighed. I looked into his eyes, pleading and hopeful. Who was I to deny him that happiness? He had done enough for me, couldn't I bear a little judgement and accompany him for one evening? I wanted to go with him as much as I was. It wasn't like I was protecting either of us by saying no - doing that was going to hurt both of us anyway. There was no way that going with him would actually be worse than staying home.
"I'd love to come," I said, smiling.
"Again with the - wait, what?"
"I'll be your date, you adorable dork."
"I'm not adorable!"
I giggled. Onyx beamed and was on his feet in a flash, dragging me after him. He lifted me into his arms and spun me around, whopping with joy and making me squeal with laughter. He laughed too, and by the time he decided to set me on my feet, we were both dizzy and out of breath.
"Alright, we gotta celebrate," Onyx panted. "I was ready for a lot more convincing, begging and pleading - but it went better than expected. So come on - lunch is on me."