Haha told you guys is post today.
***
Whispers turn to shouting,
Shouting turns to tears,
Your tears turn into laughter,
And takes away our fears.
-Secondhand Serenade, 'A Twist In My Story'
___
**TWO DAYS LATER**
Today.
Today, it's three years.
Three years since I heard her voice.
Three years since I saw his smile.
Three years since I talks to my parents.
Three years since they died.
It's been a long time, if you think about it. Three years, 1,095 days, 26,280 hours, 1,576,800 minutes. I'd go down to seconds but my head hurts now.
I've never been alone on this day. I've always had Kiara with me to go visit them or eat lunch with me. I've never gone alone to their grave. But I guess I'll have to do it sometime or another, right?
I pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery and turned off the car.
"You can do this, Riley." I told myself. "Stop being such a girl and got say hi to mom and dad."
I hopped out of the car and walked through the cemetery, knowing exactly where to go.
"Hi, mom and dad." I whispered as I sat down on the grass. "How are you?" I laughed a little. "I forgot you can't answer me."
"So I met someone." I felt a gust of wind blow through my hair and laughed. "He's not the kinda boy to be excited about though."
"He's different. Better I think. Maybe he's just the thing I need to, ya know, get back out there?" My mom always told me that I needed to live while I ha the chance. And when she died, I vowed that I would take her up on that.
"Maybe he's just what I need. I mean, he makes me feel.. Good! For the first time in a while, I have a genuine smile when I'm not with Kiara." I smiled, thinking about Ashton. "He's great."
"And Kiara. She's been so good about everything since you left. Right now she would be here but he's in Ireland spending time with Niall before he's shipped off to America for work." I sighed, missing her. Things were silent for a minute until I spoke again.
"I miss you guys a lot. Like more than you can imagine." I felt the tears prickle at the edge of my eyes, holding back until I got home. "I just wish I could hug you again." My eyes betrayed me as I squeezed them tight, feeling a pang if hurt rush through me. "I wish I could just hear your voice, Momma. I miss you, so much!"
"Daddy, I love you so much an I miss you singing to me before bed." I sucked in a sharp breath upon feeling a cold chill. "I love you both so much." I laid a rose on each of the stones and walked away, blowing a kiss to the sky as I go in the car.
My tears freely streamed down my face a I shouted profanities at no one in particular, bashing my hands against the steering wheel.
This is what heart break feels like.
**
I walked into the kitchen in a tank top and pajama pants, getting a glass of water and drinking it down quickly.
I heard a knock on the door, walking towards if. I straightened my pony tail and pulled my tank top hem down so it wasn't showing my stomach. When I opened the door I was greeted by a smiling Ashton.
"Hey, Babe." He smiled, but his smile quickly faded when he saw my face, eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained with dry tears and in pajamas.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his brow furrowing.
I wanted so bad to jump into him and scream that I'm not fine but I wasn't about to do that. So I lied, throwing on the best fake smile I can muster.
"I'm fine! I was just watching titanic and I was crying. I'm okay!" I smiled. He looked at me warily but nodded.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come out today. I can take you to lunch?" He smiled.
"Uh..." I tried to make up and excuse. "I'm actually having a day in."
"Well, we can stay in too. That's fine. I guess we can order ou-"
"No, Ashton." I wiped off my smile and was ready to shut the door. "Alone." I tried to shut it but his foot was planted between the door and frame.
"Why?" He asked, pushing open the door. With his strength I couldn't fight him off.
"Because I want to be alone." I whispered.
His hand cupped my cheek, forcing me to look at him.
"What's wrong?" His voice was quiet, soft, which only angered me.
"Nothing!" I shouted, shoving his hands off me. "IM FINE!"
"You don't look fine!" He hoisted back.
"WELL I AM!" I shoved him towards the door. "SO GO THE FUCK AWAY!"
"I'm not going anywhere." He said lowly. He stood his ground, my strength no match for his. I began pounding on his chest, screaming profanities even I couldn't make out at him. He stood there, taking each hit.
"GO AWAY!" I shouted. "I DONT WANT YOU HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" My hits became more weak and tears started rolling off my cheeks. My voice became softer until finally I was whispering. "Please."
I felt my knees going weak and almost give out. Ashton grabbed my elbows steadying me. I let out a loud sob and finally let loose.
"I can't take it anymore, Ashton!" I shouted again, crying into his chest, my arms around his waist tightly.
He stood, listening to me scream and stroked my hair, surprisingly calming me down some.
"You can cry. I'm here." He whispered in my ear. "I'm here to wipe your eyes."
**
We sat on the couch, my head in his lap, his hand stroking my hair as I looked up at him.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" He whispered. I nodded, wiping my face off from the tear stains.
"My parents..." I began. "They're... Gone."
"Yeah, they moved to America, right?" I shook my head.
"I mean gone." He took a second to ponder this and then looked at me, wide eyed.
"You mean-" I nodded. "Since when?"
"Three years today." I whispered, looking anywhere but his face.
"How?" His voice was small, delicate and it made me want to sob at how soft it was.
"My dad was in a car accident. Died on impact." I told him. "My mom died two weeks later. A guy robbed out house, killed her and took a lot of her things. The only thing left was her wedding ring and her diamond necklace that I wear everyday. I never take it off." I reached for the necklace, showing him the small heart in the silver chain and then let it fall into the valley between my breasts.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered.
"Why apologize? It wasn't your fault."
"I just feel... I don't know. I can't describe it. It's just this hurt that I feel deep in my stomach for you." He said, looking bewildered. I smiled, brushing hair off his forehead.
"It's okay. I was alone today, and now I'm not. Because I have you."
"I'm here." He whispered, planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'm not leaving."
***
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
I cried.
Okay so I hope you guys are as excited as I am about my independent series ^_^
I think my favorite will Luke's or Calum's.
I know this was a little short but it's summer and I'm going swimming bitches. *chucks up deuces*
Love you all and thank you for your amazing comments and votes! *air kiss*
Bye bye.
-Rebecca.
Keep Reading! .xx