I slammed down my phone, and began to cry. I acted like such a douche, and now my best friend feels even worse about himself.
So, I ran out of my bathroom, and went into my own room. I heard Kanaya leaving to go on her date with Rose while I was in the shower, so I knew the coast was clear.
I opened up my side of the closet, then a drawer containing my socks and boxers. I had a small black box hidden in there, where I kept my razors. Some are new, some are stained with blood, and some are rusty. I grabbed my newest one (the sharpest one) and ran back to the bathroom.
I looked at my phone one last time, and sent a message to Sollux.
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~carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] @ 11:29 am~
CG: SOLLUX... IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I'VE EVER SAID TO YOU. ALL OF THE BULLSHIT I'VE THROWN IN YOUR FACE, ALL THE NAMES I'VE CALLED YOU, ALL THE THINGS I CAN NEVER TAKE BACK. IT ISN'T RIGHT FOR ANYONE TO SAY ANYTHING I EVER HAVE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. I COULDN'T HAVE JUST FUCKING BIT MY TONGUE AND LEFT YOU ALONE ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS, I JUST *HAD* TO GET MY GOD DAMN WORD IN, NOW LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME. I AM NOT PROUD OF ANYTHING I'VE EVER DONE TO YOU THAT HAD MANIACAL OR RUDE INTENTIONS. I REGRET IT ALL. I DON'T REGRET ALL OF THE GOOD EXPERIENCES WE'VE HAD, THOUGH. I CHERISH THOSE WITH ALL OF MY HEART. YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME, AND I GUESS I'VE JUST NEVER BEEN MAN ENOUGH TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SO, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING.
CG: I LOVE YOU, SOLLUX.
CG: GOODBYE.
~carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] @ 11:40 am~
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I looked down at the bathtub. I smiled.
I turned on the water, and plugged the drain.
I got into the tub after taking off the towel, the razor firmly held in my palm.
I began slicing away at my wrists and my thighs. I watched as all of the blood poured out of my body.
"FINALLY... THAT COLOR... IS NO LONGER INSIDE ME..." I mumbled to myself.
"FINALLY."
That's the last thing I remember saying.