As soon as I reached Malibu, I headed straight for a grocery store to get some things for the time I was going to be there. I pulled into the parking lot of the nearest Whole Foods. I grabbed my purse and took out the keys from the ignition, sliding my sunglasses up onto my head.
I found a cart and began looking for ingredients for tonight's dinner. My phone was non-stop buzzing from inside my purse since I'd been gone for about an hour and a half now. I ignored it all, making a mental note to turn off my phone in the meantime.
I lined up to pay and once it was my turn, I noticed the boy checking out my items, so I gave a friendly smile. He smiled back, showing off his perfect teeth. I reached into my bag for my wallet and saw my phone still blowing up with texts and calls. Huffing, I ignored it once again and slid my card to pay.
"Something bothering you, miss?" The cashier asked.
"Just my friends," I lightly laughed. He nodded, laughing with me. He then bagged my things, putting them in my cart as well.
"Have a nice day," He smiled.
"Thank you. You too," I exited the market and quickly stuffed my grocery bags into the trunk, starting the drive to the beach house.
Since my phone's bluetooth was hooked up to my car, a call from Jack G came through. I decided to finally answer, biting my lip nervously.
"Lil?" He sounded surprised I answered. I faintly heard someone tell G to put it on speaker.
"G?" I sighed. "Please tell me you're not around everyone right now."
"You're in luck, I'm home with J," He chuckled.
I evidently sigh in relief through the phone, making him laugh again. "So what'd they say when I didn't come down?"
"They were confused as hell, and then Nate starts to panic. Said it wasn't like you to do this. This is true, so Johnson and I suggested giving you some space for now. They all disagreed, telling us you guys needed to solve whatever problems you had regarding Sam. God, we couldn't stand to hear them dictate what y'all had to do, so we left."
"Sounds like you two need a break, too," I laughed. "They've been non-stop texting and calling and I'm this close to throwing my phone into the ocean."
"Hope you have warranty!" Johnson yelled from the other end of the line, then ended the call. I giggled, rolling my eyes. I finally pulled into the driveway of the beach house, already craving the feel of the warm sun on me. I quickly hopped out of the car, grabbed the three bags of groceries, and shuffled into the house.
I put away the foods that needed to be in the refrigerator and immediately brought light into the dim house by pulling up most of the blinds. I situated myself on the couch and turned on the television, the thought of turning on my phone causing my head to hurt.
I wasn't entirely sure running away from everyone was going to solve anything, considering Nate didn't do anything to make me push him away. However, I needed some alone time to get all of this Sam stuff out of my head. It's not easy seeing your ex come back into the picture when he crushed your heart by sleeping with his ex-girlfriend—if you can even call Liza that. I didn't want the events during the time we were dating to repeat themselves, because, in the end, I'll only end up hurt. Tell me I'm overreacting, or exaggerating, but the pain of being cheated on and lied to is one of the most painful things someone could experience.
The home phone rang, bringing me out of my deep thoughts. I was slightly nervous about who it could be. Thankful my parents had gotten caller ID, it appeared to be Gilinsky's residence. I put it on speaker, biting my lip.
"Lily?" G answered. I let out another sigh of relief.
"You literally just called earlier, G, what's up?"
"Everyone went to look for you," He sighed. "They're not giving up, and they'll probably figure out you're in Malibu sooner or later. I mean, Shawn could probably figure it out right about now."
"Well, it's not like I can just fly out of here for a few days, you know? I was thinking of going to Nonna's, but I figured Shawn would just find me there, too. So I'll take my chances here."
"One more thing," He said nervously.
"What?" I rose an eyebrow.
"Could J and I come over tomorrow?"
"Jack," I sighed.
"I know, I know," He quickly added. "I just thought I'd give it a try."
"We'll see, alright? I'll call you later if it's a go."
"Okay, be safe Lils, love you."
"Will do. Love you too, G." I hung up, plopping myself on the couch once again. I took a deep breath, a smile plastered on my face at how peaceful it is here. Deciding to head outside to tan a little, I ran upstairs with my bag of clothes and scurried into my room, quickly changing into a bathing suit.
The waves crashed against the shore as I stared out into the ocean, the smell of salt water lingering in the air. I couldn't help but picture the time we all came here, Liza tagging along at the time because of Sam. I also couldn't help but remember how jealous I was of her being near him despite the number of times I tried to mask my emotions around them. It was definitely a hard thing to do since everyone except Sam knew how I felt toward him.
Now, Nate and I are in such an amazing stage and although I was quick to move on, he was the one person who truly understood my decision. Through everything I've experienced, Nate was always the person I could rely on to help me handle issues involving Sam. And that was one of the reasons why I was so quick to choose him. But, in all honesty, he was the first boy I've ever experienced butterflies with. Before, Sam and I were practically the same person, and it weirded us both out if we tried to start a relationship with each other.
"Lily?" Someone called from behind. I knew that voice.
I whipped my head towards the person, my eyes going wide as I tried to wrap my head around the fact he had found me so quickly. And of all people.
"What—how—why are you here?"
"I just came to talk to you."
"You know, the whole point of me getting away from you guys is so I wouldn't have to talk to you. What don't you understand? Everything is irritating me lately and coming here to bother me will definitely not help with the situation we're in."
"Just shut up and listen, will you?" He huffed. "I know I came at the wrong time. I know what I did to you was the stupidest thing I could have ever done, and I know that lying about it made things even worse. No amount of 'sorry' is going to fix that, but I just want us to start over—a clean slate, as friends."
"Friends? Sam, it's kind of hard to be friends with a guy who just so happens to be the ex that cheated on you, lied about it, then slept with you the next day. Now tell me, would that be a perfect start to a 'clean slate'?"
"Goddammit, Lily, why are you so stubborn to talk to me?"
"Because I don't want to get hurt again, alright?! Leave, Sam. Now."
"No. Not until you forget the mistakes I've made and we can start over."
"Suit yourself," I dusted myself off of the sand, grabbed my towel, and made my way into the house. Sam didn't budge on the sand, just sitting there with his arms on top of his knees. I felt a pang of guilt just leaving him there since the wind was going to pick up soon as it neared sunset.
Brushing it off, I started to make dinner, so I grabbed the chicken I thawed out from the fridge and took it out of the packaging, beginning to marinate it. I added some herbs and spices, with the typical salt and pepper. I popped it in the oven with homemade fries I cut up.
While waiting for the food, I looked through the window and Sam was still sitting there, but now on his phone. It made my stomach churn with more guilt, as the sun had completely gone down now and his only light was from his phone. I quickly ran upstairs to change into leggings and one of dad's old college crewnecks then stepped outside.
The sand was still warm as I stepped foot on the beach and soon enough, I reached Sam, his back facing me. I tapped his shoulder and he jumped from his spot, sand flying everywhere. I put my hands over my face to keep the grains from entering my eyes as he repeatedly apologized.
"You should come in," I quietly said. "Don't want you to get sick."
"Are you sure?" He cautiously replied.
I sighed, "I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't sure, Sam. Come on, I don't want you out here by yourself." I could see him nod through the darkness of the beach and I took it as a cue to head in. I wasn't sure how to get him to leave as soon as possible, but hopefully, he gets the hint after dinner. I didn't want Nate to think I had rekindled my past relationship behind his back.
"Haven't been here since—"
"Please don't say it." I quickly spun around. He was quiet as we entered the house, the timer coincidentally going off, telling me to take out the food. Sam was quietly seated at the island, watching my every move as I plated the food. I handed him a plate and we sat in front of each other, the house dead silent.
"I'm going to get straight to the point here," I sighed, setting down my fork and swallowing my food. "I know you came here to talk to me, but as of right now, it isn't a good idea. You and I both know Nate isn't comfortable with the thought of us even looking at each other, so I definitely don't want him to get the wrong idea of the two of us here, alone. I'm sorry if I'm coming off rude, but I'd appreciate it if after dinner you could leave?"
He slowly swallowed his food, and his eyes never left mine. "Oh, yeah, I understand. I'll be gone as soon as I finish, is that okay?"
"Yeah," I pressed my lips into a line and we continued to eat in silence—well for the next two minutes. The doorbell rang, and I shot up from my seat to check on who it could be.
"Lily! Thank god you're here." Matt sprung through the doors with the Jacks. He engulfed me in a tight hug, and I relaxed slightly, hugging back with the same force. His familiar scent of cologne calmed me as he rubbed my back in comfort.
"What are you doing here?" I furrowed my brows after pulling myself off of Matt. They ignored me, their gazes fixated on Sam eating at the table.
"The real question is—what is Sam doing here?" Johnson gave me a worried look.
"He came over with no notice whatsoever," I sighed, crossing my arms. "I didn't invite him, okay?"
"I was just about to leave," Sam cleared his throat. "I really just came to apologize, again. See you guys around." And with that, he left and the four of us stood in quick silence.
"So, what's for dinner?" Matt looked at me, a cheeky smile on his face. I rolled my eyes and called for pizza since I only made enough for Sam and I.
"G, what did I say earlier?" I huffed, narrowing my eyes at him.
"Sorry, L, but Matt found me talking to you and demanded to come here. I really did try to stop him, but he was too persuasive."
"Well, since you guys are here," I paused with a smirk. "Anyone up for a movie night?"
They looked at each other and mischievous smiles took over their faces. The three sprinted to the couch, jumping on the cushions and skimming through the movies on Netflix. I grabbed a bag of chips and squeezed between them, snuggling under a blanket.
"What'd you guys choose?" I popped a potato chip into my mouth.
"Maze Runner: Scorch Trials," Gilinsky smirked. I high-fived him; I've been wanting to watch that movie since I was hooked on the first one.
"How was the drive here? Not too long?" I turned my head towards Matt.
He nodded, "Surprisingly no traffic on PCH. It was a pretty chill ride here."
"Good," I nodded. "Has anyone texted you about where I am? I really hope they haven't figured it out yet."
"No, but it won't be long until they do, Lily. And when they find us, you have to face them and say whatever you have to. Running away didn't help, now did it?"
"Obviously not, Matthew. I mean, you three are here right now, and Sam also payed a visit. I was really hoping I could get some alone time, but that lasted about 4 hours." I huffed with a small eye roll.
"I know how to ease your stress," Johnson smirked. I furrowed my brows, but instead of answering me, he waltzed over to the pantry, disappearing inside.
"What is he up to?" I rose a brow at Gilinsky.
"Beats me," He shrugs. "Half the time I don't know what goes on inside that head of his."
The sound of pantry door closes and Jack reappears with two bottles of alcohol. I shake my head with a laugh, Matt and Gilinsky start to get up.
"Let's go outside on the deck," Johnson gestured with his head. "G, can you get a fire going?" Jack G nodded, disappearing into the dark with Matt.
I grabbed the shot glasses tucked away in the cupboards and followed everyone else outside. I praised myself for wearing leggings and a crewneck; it was pretty cold outside.
The fire began crackling, and J started pouring the clear alcohol into the small glasses. We each took one, and Matt began to speak.
"To a drama-filled day," He chuckled and we all downed the shot.
"Woooo!" I let out, the alcohol burning. "More, J."
"Yes ma'am."
This continued on for a while, and eventually, we finished the first bottle—correction, I did. No really, I took the whole thing and chugged. Nothing could stop me at this moment, and the boys knew that. I was drinking away my problem, and deep down I knew it wouldn't help, but as of now, I'm not thinking about that.
"Lil, stop," Gilinsky began laughing due to his drunken state.
"Shut u-up, G. I'm trying t-to forget about to-today," I slurred.
Matt was giggling to himself while drawing random shapes in the air, Jack J was on his phone doing God knows what, Gilinsky was laying down on the large sofa he occupied, and I started walking around taking swigs of the strong liquid.
I nearly tripped over my own feet as I accompanied Matt on the smaller sofa he was sitting on, his arm snaking over my shoulders.
We slowly quieted down, and I looked over to see Johnson passed out, his phone resting on his cheek. Gilinsky was out as well, and I rolled my eyes.
Matt yawned, which caused me to do so, and the last thing I could remember before blacking out was a kiss on my forehead.