On Wednesday morning, I didn't wake up to the obnoxious ringing of my alarm, but from a loud crash coming from downstairs. It jolted me awake, forcing me to sit up in bed and rub my eyes furiously. When the blurriness subsided, I turn toward the window and see the sun was in the process of coming up. I reached over to the bedside table and grabbed my phone, clicking the home button to see the time: 6:58 AM.
Seeing as school started at eight, there was no way Luke was up yet, so there was only one possible explanation. I jumped out of bed with a grin on my face, skid across the floor in my socks, and bound down the stairs quickly. When I reached the bottom step, I ran into the doorway of the kitchen to see my mom there, cooking breakfast. Her blonde hair was pulled into a messy ponytail as her hazel eyes focused on the sizzling bacon in the pan.
"Mom!" I squeak excitedly.
She turns to me and matches my smile immediately, turning down the stove to a simmer so she can open her arms and hug me. "Oh, honey, I missed you so much."
Like a little child, I ran over to my mom and gave her a bear hug. I hadn't seen her in the past week thanks to a book signing she had in Chicago, which left Luke and I alone for awhile. My mom and I have been close ever since my dad left when I was ten; lately, she's been extremely busy because of the success of her most recent book, Blink. Blink quickly turned into a best-seller last year, and ever since, she's been balancing book signings, interviews, a household, a new book, and her kids.
My mom was often flying around the country for different book-related activities, so as the oldest sibling I took it upon myself to help out around the house. I cooked dinner for Luke on the nights we didn't order take out- which was admittedly not often- and maintained a clean house so when she came home, she wouldn't be overwhelmed. Whenever she came home, though, she picked up right where she left off, making us breakfast before school and packing our lunches.
As I pull away from her, she waves toward the counter and instructs, "Sit, breakfast is almost ready."
I easily abide her instructions as my stomach already grumbles for the bacon and eggs she was cooking. She gave me a quick smile before tending to breakfast again, and I felt all of my previous sleepiness fade away when the excitement of having my mom home again set in.
"So, how has school been?" Mom asks casually as she shuffles around the stove.
Different. "You know, same old, same old." I feel bad lying to her, but the topic is a little difficult to explain at 7 AM, so I avoided it. "How was Chicago? Did any cute guys come to your signing?"
She laughed heartily. "No, I'm afraid not. But Chicago was lovely; Dianne and I stayed at a hotel that offered a free spa. I was living large all week."
I sighed dreamily, thinking about the prospect of a massage to relieve all the built up tension from the past few days at school. "That sounds incredible. So, I take it Dianne is good, then?"
Dianne is my mother's agent and close friend. They spent most of their time together when they were traveling for book signings and interviews, and they were the same age, so they got along great. My mom nodded before the click of the stove turning off sounded, and I eyed the bacon as she slid it off the pan and onto a plate.
A moment later, she turned around with a plate that made my mouth water. A ham and cheese omelette and bacon were on the plate, and she was quick to add the small bowl of fruit beside it. Mom turned around to pour me a glass of orange juice and then placed it in front of me with a smile still on her lips.
"Thank you so much, mom," I groan in happiness as I lick my lips in anticipation. "This looks way better than the dry cereal I've been eating on my way to school."
She laughs lightly, but her expression becomes somber as she excuses, "It's the least I can do for leaving y'all alone so often lately. But don't worry, I'll be at home for a few weeks until my next appearance."
I smile happily at her. "Good, I'm glad to have you home."
"I'm happy to be home, sweetie." Mom turns around and fixes a plate for Luke, and then walks toward the kitchen door. "Eat up and I'm going to get a shower."
As she disappears out of the room, I dig in. Like every time she cooks, the food is heavenly, and I can't even keep myself from stealing a piece of bacon off of Luke's pre-made plate. After I finish, I stick my dishes in the dishwasher and head upstairs to prepare myself for the day. I was beginning to get a hold of this routine: pick out an outfit Steph already approved of, do my hair and makeup, survive school with confidence, come home, change, and nerd-out.
Today, I picked out a pair of ripped black jeans, a cropped beige sweater, and thick-heeled nude booties. My midriff showed from the crop of the sweater, exposing a line of tan skin that matched the patches of skin showing from the rips on the jeans. I did my usual winged eyeliner and mascara and decided to leave my hair in it's natural waves before I deem myself ready, and head downstairs.
I pass the kitchen and see my mom sitting with Luke at the counter as she reads her paper, and pull my sweater down before I walk inside. I grab my keys off the ring above the counter as Luke asks, "Can I have a ride? Cole's sick today."
"Yeah, sure," I say as I turn around, and then smirk at him. "But it will cost a piece of bacon."
Luke narrows his eyes at me and begrudgingly hands over his last piece of bacon, all while muttering, "You're evil."
"You look nice today, Lauren," My mom comments as she peers at me from above her newspaper, looking clearly shocked. "You're not wearing your Converse."
I had purposely chosen the least revealing outfit for today so my mom wasn't exposed to the drastic change all at once, and yet I still looked starkly different from what I usually looked like. Luke watches this interaction closely, probably still looking for a real reason for why I suddenly stopped wearing sweats and started wearing cute clothes.
I give her a quick smile. "Stephanie gave me some of her old clothes."
I wait for her reaction nervously, and she just looks at me before smiling. "They're really cute." I let out a breath in relief as she chirps, "Have a good day at school, you two!"
With one last smile, I head out of the house and hop in my car. Luke follows suit and climbs in the passenger's seat as I turn the ignition on, hearing Elton John float through my speakers the same time that the engine roared to life. I should've already suspected that Luke would scrunch up his face and change the station to rap, but when he did, I looked at him in disbelief.
"Hey!" I cry, swatting his hands away from the dials. "Put that back on."
Luke makes a face at me. "You're not eighty years old, Lauren, so stop pretending you are with that music. Listen to Kanye and chill out."
I decide to try a different approach and instead use my new no-bullshit tone, the very one that I used on Lisa and Brendan when I made them get out of my way on Monday. "My car, my music, Luke."
Instead of following my orders, he laughs at my attempt. "Shotgun rider gets to choose the music anyway. But nice try."
Despite my previous annoyance, I couldn't help but smile, considering that was the rule that we always followed when my mom drove us around anywhere. However, that was the last time all day that I smiled. From there, I got to school and had a pop quiz during first period about God knows what; second period, I spilled the coffee I had just bought on the floor; third period, I spilled my second coffee on my shoes; fourth period, Sasha completely ignored me; and, surprise, nobody was at our lunch table.
The rest of the day wouldn't have been that bad after that, had Nina Alexander not stopped me in front of the hallway to tell me, in front of everybody and quite loudly, that my sweater looks like something her grandma would wear before she pushed past me, successfully spilling my third untouched coffee of the day. I made it through science and english with little casualties, partly because Bailey wasn't here to ignore me. When the final bell rang, though, instead of running out of the wretched school as fast as possible, nine menacing words stopped me.
"Lauren, can I talk to you for a second?"
I screwed my eyes shut and let out a deflated breath, wary of the day that had stretched long enough thanks to the additional pop quizzes, coffee spills, and judgmental looks on top of the usual whispers and stares every time I walked by. I opened my eyes and turned around to face Ms. Hayes with an extremely fake smile on my lips and not enough energy to fix it.
"Sure, Ms. H. What's up?" I ask her tiredly, painfully aware of what she was going to say already.
She stands up from behind her desk to give me a friendly smile, which automatically makes my awfully fake one drop as I feel bad for being so fake to such a kind woman. "I've noticed a bit of a change in you over the past few days and I wanted to see if you were feeling alright."
My heart warmed at her concern, but I still stiffened when she brought up the change. "I'm feeling fine, Ms. H. Really."
"Are you sure?" She asks quietly. "I don't want you to think just because I'm a teacher, you can't talk to me. I know high school is hard, and I want you to know I'm there for you. I've noticed you and Bailey don't speak much in class anymore."
Again, my heart tugs when I have to feed her more lies. "It means a lot that you care so much, but I truly am fine. I'm just trying to branch out and try new things."
"I see," Ms. Hayes smiles again, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Well, that's all. Have a nice rest of your day, Lauren."
The constricting feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I've disappointed her distracts me from returning her smile. Instead, in a daze, I head out of the room and go toward my locker, the feeling hitting me like a truck. Quickly, though, I patch up the open holes of disappointment with a bandaid and compose myself. As I walk down the corridor toward the parking lot, I see Sasha sitting on a bench in the hall with a book in her hands, her glasses sliding off her nose.
Even though her and Bailey had been dismissing me lately, I still feel the need to make sure that the social experiment doesn't completely destroy our friendship. So, even though I'm extremely tired from the poor day I've had, and all I want to do is keep my head down and make it to my locker so I can leave, I force a smile on my lips and walk over to her. I stop in front of the bench and watch her eyes slowly look up from her book, scrutinizing my outfit with her gaze before she met mine.
"Hey Sasha," I greet with fake enthusiasm. "What are you reading?"
With the same clipped tone she's been using since the beginning of the week, she says, "Pride and Prejudice."
"How is it? I've never read it before," I say conversationally, still forcing a smile down at her.
Sasha sighs up at me, clearly annoyed, before she shuts the book forcefully. She stands up and looks me up and down before finally meeting my gaze once more, and I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that I knew what she was about to say.
"Lauren, what happened to you?" She snaps. "Why are you acting like this?"
"Like what?" I force myself to ask, because even though I've changed my clothes and attitude to everyone else, I've still been the same old Lauren to her and Bailey... just a little better dressed.
Sasha's eyes narrow from behind her glasses. "Fine. Ignore it. I don't care." She gathers her bag from the bench and looks back at me with disgust plain as day on her features. "Have fun with whatever you're doing."
And then she stomped away while I stood there dumbfounded, unable to believe that encounter just happened. My phone began simultaneously buzzing and ringing in my pocket, distracting me from my blank stare at the spot Sasha had been standing moments before. I dug the phone out of my pocket and saw Luke's name flash across the screen.
I answer and mutter, "I'm going to be at the car in a few minutes."
"That's okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm getting a ride from my friend Holden," Luke explains equally as quickly. "Thanks anyway. I'll see you at home."
Holden. Like Nathan's friend Holden?
"Okay," I say instead of voicing my confusion. "I'll see you at home."
As the phone call ends, I feel questions begin to bite at me. What would Luke be doing hanging around the bad kids? He and Cole were among the more popular kids of our school; he usually hung around the jocks and cheerleaders rather than the bad boys. My brow furrowed at the thought of my little brother being as arrogant, uncaring, and womanizing as Holden Brook.
The concept confused me, considering Luke was charismatic, genuine, and loyal. It didn't make sense. I feel flooded with confusion during my entire drive to Stephanie's dorm, hoping that seeing her would make me feel a little less crazy after the poor day I've been having. I took the familiar route across the city, parked at her dorm, and followed the regular procedure before getting in the elevator to get to her room.
By the time I reached her door, I was more than eager for something to brighten my dampened day, so I knock on the door nonstop until she answers. Her hair was tied up in a topknot and there was no makeup on her face, and I was half jealous of the comfortable clothing she was in. I look past her and see her bed is messy and Netflix is streaming on her laptop, and my half jealousy turns full force.
"Laur!" Stephanie's grin matches mine when she sees who it is, and she tackles me in a hug. "God, you couldn't have come at a better time."
I chuckle and hug her back before inviting myself into her dorm room. "Why's that?"
"Cara was driving me insane," Stephanie complains about her roommate with a groan, collapsing back onto her bed. I join her. "She just left for the gym. I was about ready to scrub the floor with her toothbrush and put it back. But now I have you!"
Comfortably, I spread out on her tiny bed with her. "Aw come on, Steph, she couldn't have been that bad."
Stephanie gives me a blank look. "Lauren, she was listening to Justin Bieber's first album all morning. And when I asked her to turn it down, refused and started heating up her old Chinese food from a week ago. You know how much I hate the smell of reheated Chinese food."
I stifle my laughter and attempt to console her with a cheeky grin. "Well, you have me now, so your day should already be brighter."
She rolls her eyes at me. "So, what brings you here, anyway?"
"I had a shitty day," I explain. "I decided that I could either go home and watch movies or come make you cheer me up."
Stephanie frowns at me. "Why was your day shitty?"
I then explain the series of events that unfolded throughout my day, starting with the pop quiz and ending with Sasha walking away from me in anger. I narrowed my eyes when she laughed about the amount of times my coffee spilled, but she quickly stifled it and let me continue complaining about my day.
"You're right. You did have a shitty day," Stephanie announces in awe. "At least you look cute, though. I love those shoes."
I roll my eyes, "Well, they were yours."
"I have amazing taste, don't I?" Steph teases, then sits up. "While I have you here, can you answer some questions about the social experiment? It will get your mind off your day."
Despite the fact that I would much rather curl up in her bed and watch movies together than recount all of the stares, whispers, and rumors circulating me today, I agreed. Stephanie climbed out of bed to grab a notebook, recorder, and a pen while I sit up and cross my legs underneath me. She pulls her desk chair out in front of the bed and sits down, setting the recorder up on her bedside table.
"I have to record it so I don't forget anything," She prefaces, then glances down at her list of questions. "Okay, so, Lauren. Can you list the things we officially changed or modified regarding your behavior?"
I begin ticking off fingers as I list, "My wardrobe, my overall appearance, and my attitude."
"What do you mean, your attitude?" Stephanie presses, looking for a specific answer, probably so she could quote me when this whole thing was done with.
"Before the experiment, I spent most of my time studying. I was quiet, only had two friends, and I wore sweats a lot. I didn't really talk to anyone; I let people walk all over me before. I didn't stand up for myself."
She nods, clearly getting the answer she wanted. "What were the initial reactions you received?"
"Staring," I sigh. "Lots of staring. People began talking to me. Like, people that I don't even know the names of started to smile at me in the hall or say hi."
Stephanie nods, jotting something down on her paper before she looks up at me again. "And what about after a few days? Have people given you more or less attention?"
"More," I admit regretfully. "Some girls have noticed my change and call me names when I walk by. I get called a slut or a whore more than three times a day."
She frowns at this, but I can see the wheels turning in her head, and knew she was hyper focused on her psychological, over analyzing side. When she continues questioning me, I realize I was correct. "And to clarify, have you hooked up with anyone since you broke up with your boyfriend?"
"No," I answer honestly.
"And your boyfriend was the only guy you've ever slept with?" Stephanie presses, a thoughtful look on her face.
I shoot her a look and mutter, "Is that really necessary, Steph?"
She rolls her eyes. "Just answer the question."
"Yes, he's the only guy I have ever had sex with," I answer honestly after a moment of hesitation.
We talk for another half hour or so before I'm too tired to answer any other questions, and by the time I leave, I feel considerably better than how I felt when I arrived. Stephanie re-upped my confidence in myself and gave me tight hug before I started my trek back across the city in Betsy. The entire drive home, I thought about how I couldn't wait to change into my PJs.
And that was the first thing I did when I got home. I practically ran up the stairs, skipping them two at a time, and ripped off the uncomfortable day clothes to replace them with my most comfortable pair of spandex shorts and a long sleeve. The next to-do item on my agenda was to question Luke about Holden, but when I went to his room, he wasn't in there.
He wasn't home by the time dinner rolled around, so my mom and I ate alone while we discussed music and books. They were both topics we regularly indulge in yet never run out of things to say, considering we shared a similar music taste and taste in books. I texted Luke a few times to see where he was, but never received a response, so he missed one of my favorite things: a home cooked dinner from mom.
I ended up doing homework in my room, which lasted all of thirty minutes before I instead resumed my Netflix binge. Like always, one episode turned into seven, and I eventually fell asleep in bed with my laptop resting on my stomach. I woke up with a start when I heard a car door slam outside of my open window, pulling me directly out of sleep.
I rolled out of bed and trudged to the window to see Luke crouched down by the drivers seat of a BMW, talking to someone in hushed tones. When he started walking away from the car and toward the house, I could just make out the fact of the driver before he rolled the window back up: Holden Brook. As his car sped down the street, I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. One thirty in the morning.
I opened my door and waited leaning against the doorframe until Luke made his way up the stairs. His footsteps caused the floorboards to creak underneath him, and seconds later I saw his body emerge from the shadows as he tip-toed up the steps. When he saw me standing there, he froze, his eyes wide as he stared at me looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Why were you out all night with Holden Brook?" I ask in a furious whisper as he finished making his way up the steps.
Luke stops in front of my door and shrugs nonchalantly. "We were just hanging out."
"Since when are you suddenly friends?" I ask, and then, because my mind was working too quickly, I ask another question: "Where were you?"
He moves again, but this time it's to walk past me. His voice is quiet but not calm when he says slowly, "We were at a friend's house."
I turn to watch him walk toward his bedroom door and frown. "Holden isn't a good kid, Luke. Why are you hanging out with him?"
"Damn, Lauren, why are you acting like mom right now?" Luke asks tightly, turning around to face me with annoyance etched on his features. The annoyance softens the second he sees my own anger at his words, and he decides to backtrack, speaking in a calmer voice. "Listen, I was just out with a few buddies. I'm tired and I want to go to bed. We have school tomorrow."
I don't reply, fully aware that if I opened my mouth to speak, I would snap at him. Luckily, Luke takes my silence as an answer in itself.
"Goodnight, Lauren. I'll see you tomorrow." He whispers before shutting his door to put space in between us.
I stand there for a moment more, staring at the back of his door, perplexed as to how he escaped that conversation. And with my perplexity came a kind of curiosity that wouldn't be tamed until I figured out what Luke was hiding about his sudden friendship with Holden Brook.