Until this very moment, it was a joke. It was still supposed to be a god damn joke. Was it? It wasn't? Truth to be told, it wasn't a bad thing at all, it was just early. Not too early, but early for a two people that were at the age under 23. Hanna believed so. However she wasn't scared for Amelia as much as Amelia currently was. She knew, she was going to be a good mother to her child but she saw where was it coming from. Amelia grew up with a mother that was everything but a mother. A human being that was supposed to love her the most ended up hating her the most. But everyone who knew Amelia, knew that she loved with her whole heart, a child of her own shouldn't be a problem at all.
Maybe she was scared to tell Julian too. Hanna tried to understand and put herself in Amelia's place. Would she be scared to tell Leon. Of course she would, but there was Julian. Not a man that Johan was. Julian was everything that Johan could ever dream to become. Nice, caring, gentle, polite, little bit stubborn and a hard nut to crack but he was loving. And he showed it in more ways than anyone would think it was possible. If Amelia was afraid that he will go away and vanish at the first mention of child then she was wrong. She was too wrong to think that.
Leon didn't react the same way Hanna did. He didn't remain calm or composed. With his eyes wide along with mouth, he stared around like nuts. Coming from a guy that was around the same age as Julian, that was a huge thing. Maybe little bit too huge with the amount of hours he spent home. He didn't think the same as Hanna either. Yes, he was aware that Julian loved Amelia more than the life itself and that he would accept death in fraction of a second if it came to saving her own life, but a child was something that needed more attention than anything. There was no doubt that Julian would love that child too, but would he stay there for her. Leon had respect for his friend, but that didn't give him enough reason not to worry about his other that had been through a lot of stuff in her life.
But Amelia, she, couldn't even think straight. There was so much that was going in her life at the moment, was she really ready for this all. Julian, how was he going to react to this all? How was she supposed to tell him that she is carrying his child? Wait for him in front of the doors and tell him. "Hey, you know, I'm pregnant and forced to drop everything we planned for a while." She was no bright side in this all, however the child itself was a bright side no matter how huge her insecurities were or how much questions she had, she was going to have her child. She was going to be a mother.
Amelia's heartbeat picked up, as if it was beating with complete and utter joy. In that smallest moment, in that smallest piece of second, fraction of infinity called time, she felt complete. She felt like everything in her life was now complete, no matter the circumstances. A smile stretched wide on her face, it was impossible for Hanna and Leon not to smile back at her. Amelia didn't just smile. She laughed loudly, so happily you could actually hear it, feel it. Feel her happiness.
Even her doctor smiled, and left the room where three friends were sitting. To her it looked more like a family, but whatever they were, she was glad that young Amelia Beck had all support in this all and hoped that father of a child will soon be there.
"Three weeks?" Hanna asked slowly, making Amelia go beet red in her cheeks.
"Around Christmas." Amelia avoided their curious looks, trying to get rid of the furious blush from her face. She never really had problem with talking about it because they were always joking about it. But now, they were quite serious about her sex life.
"You pervs." Hanna shook her head with a soft giggle. "How are you feeling?"
"Surprised-"
"I wouldn't be with the number of times you two did the oh so called frickle frackle." Leon cut Amelia off, with remarkable response.
"Surprised and scared." Amelia repeated, this time smile on her face was invisible. Her lips were pressed into a thin line, her eyes still shining tho, but slightly less.
"Is this about telling Jule?" Other female that happened to be Amelia's friend spoke gently.
"It is about everything. My parents, the whole society, even-" she stopped when she realized that Leon in fact doesn't know the story about Johan. Terrible human being that Amelia was dealing with once again.
"Even?"
"Johan."
"Who is that?"
"Amelia's ex from high school." Hanna answered shortly. "He is a terrible human being that Amelia left behind years ago but he is back in her life because Amelia is his professor at university."
"And has set his goals so high just to make my life a living hell. I doubt he dares because I can easily make his life worse than he can make mines."
"Jule knows about him right?"
"Yep. I accidentally ran into him when Jule and I were buying presents for Christmas." Amelia sighed and leaned back into her bed. "I wouldn't be so worried if I knew that he wasn't in contact with my family, and if they find out about this child they are going to want be in its life."
"Oh hell no. They don't have the right. My family does, which happens to be yours. Julian's family does and even Leon's because let's be honest, he is your best friend besides me." Hanna jumped on her legs just of the thought of Amelia's parents coming in contact of any kind with that kid.
"Julian would probably kill them both of they tried."
"See, even Leon knows it."
"They is one problem tho." Amelia raised her eyebrows. "I still need to tell him about it."
"He would be angry if he knew that you are doubting him. Maybe hurt." Leon shrugged it off. "But hey, I'm not the one that has to carry a child for 9 months nor that is possible so I can't understand. "
"Well, trust me Leon, I would be scared too." Hanna said shortly. "That is like the biggest fear of every girl on this planet."
"Point taken." He nodded his head, not saying anything making the silence fill in the empty space between the three of them. Everyone took the silence differently. Leon took it like something relaxing, Hanna took it like something really awkward and Amelia...she took it like some kind of invisible force that was slowly crushing her down, pressing her all vital points and pinning her down until she was suffocating on her own thoughts.
She had to be realistic there. Both of her friends were absolutely right. Having a child is tough, but she was with a guy that loved her and his love wasn't just words. He had shown her love in so many different ways even before Amelia knew he loved her. In the smallest things, and he took the challenge thinking it was the privilege to know her. Julian Draxler, wasn't one of those people to leave you when you need him the most. He wouldn't leave you even if you were about to slit his throat open.
"You're over thinking." Hanna noticed the silence of her friend, and Amelia wasn't the one to be very relaxed during heavy silences. She knew her too well to think that Amelia Beck was just laying down and not doing anything. "Stop it. Whatever happens, you know you have my support."
"Thanks." Amelia smiled slightly, just about raising the ends of her lips to show different facal expression.
"Do you regret it?"
"What exactly, Leon?"
"Everything?" It sounded more like a question to both girls. "You know, the child, being with him?"
"I only regret the times I couldn't have spent with him."
"Then stop over thinking it." Leon concluded shortly, confirming what Hanna had said before him.
"For once he said something smart." Hanna muttered making Amelia laugh and Leon pout fakely as they tried to relax Amelia's nerves. It was obvious that Amelia was going to wait till Julian comes home to tell him, and it might take a tool on her.
"Hanna, do you remember that themed park we went to last summer?" He smirked slightly. "Before even Jule and Ame were together."
"Yeah why? "
"You said you were never going to date me. What do you have to say in your defense?"
"I was in a car accident. I believe I got kicked in my head pretty hard."
"Savage." Amelia whispered between her chuckles. "Those were lovely times."
"Uh no, they weren't." Hanna cut in. "You were at Schalke, Jule was at Schalke, and you were too stuborn to chose love over job. I hated Leon because he was so annoying and cocky I can't even...and your parents. Girl just because Jule painted your eyesight in rainbows it doesn't mean that he painted mines too." Hanna said in one breath and then sitting down like she ran a triple marathon.
Leon and Hanna stared bickering like an old cranky couple. They usually did, they were rarely cheesy like Julian and Amelia, but you could see that they trully loved each other more than they showed. It was not a skinny love, it was special kind of love because there was only one Leon Goretzka and one Hanna Tuchel.
Amelia only smiled, while looking at the two trying to scratch their eyes out, going back when everything was still okay. When everything was less dramatic and chaotic than now, but then again Amelia wouldn't have it any other way.
***
When she came home, Hanna and Leon started treating her like she was made of glass and like they had never been around a pregnant woman. Like she was about to break at the smallest touch or even the smallest breeze.
It took them a while to stop bickering, about the most stupid things they could think of. Firstly, Amelia found it funny but then they just grew super annoying and loud. It was simply too much for already frustrated Amelia to take.
Amelia hugged the small pillow that was placed in the corner of the couch and listed through the documents on her laptop, while searching for something to pass time while Hanna and Leon figured out what the hell they want to do. Either way Amelia had a lot on her plate. A job, a boyfriend that was more on the pitch than home, now a child. The finances weren't problem, it was her own capability to taken the given stress and job she had to do from now on.
Being a mother sounded really scary when yours was a monster and self centered psychopath that took bath in the tears of her children. The woman that not only made her life miserable, but almost forced her to live without a parental help. Amelia took deep breaths and calmed down, her heartbeat back at the normal speed and her thoughts flowing through her head normally.
When Leon asked about her regrets, it made her think about it. There was nothing she really regretted...however she wished she told Julian that she loved him sooner, even if the job was stopping her. It was a long way coming just to realize that the job is not everything that she owned or was destined for but she also didn't know that her boyfriend and father of her future child will be a professional football player. The exact same one that warned players about the rule.
So instead of cursing her pregnancy and tearing herself over it, she accepted it. Whatever happens it happens. She was going to raise the child and be a mother her mother only could have dreamt to be. Instead of being trapped in fear, she thanked the God that she was actually given a chance of having a child of her own and strangely enough the guy that loved her madly.
"Yo? Earth to Ame?" Hanna snapped her fingers in front of Amelia's brown eyes until she got full attention of her older friend. "What do you want to eat?"
"I don't know."
"Leon what do pregnant women eat?"
"Um food? Like any other normal human being." Amelia rolled her eyes at their antics and ways to make her smile.
"Any cravings?"
"I'm just three weeks pregnant, it is too early for that. Don't be stupid."
"Yeah...yeah...she's right..." Hanna nodded her head. "Should I stay until Jule comes home?"
"Hanna I'm not dying." She frowned and threw her head backwards in frustration.
"I know but you might get lightheaded again and besides he will be here in few days."
"Hanna is right." Leon agreed.
"Of course you're going to agree with her." Amelia protested, feeling that she was more than capable of handling herself before Julian comes home, also knowing that Julian will treat her like she was made out of glass. She didn't consider any mental preparation that Hanna could give her before she decided to break it down to Julian.
"Uh, no, I'm not like that." Leon started. "She is usually wrong about everything...however, both of us know that you're going to be a nervous wreck."
"I'm, just going to go to my room. Decide what you want to do." Amelia threw her hands in the air and walked down the very familiar hallway. She didn't live there long but the time she spent there was probably the most beautiful one of her life.
Her room was in the mess from the very morning, and it was not as cold as before, although the chills still managed to run down her spine. Amelia pulled out one of the many hoodies that Julian owned and pulled it over her head. The smell of his parfume hit her harder than the buss. Probably the nostalgic feeling for talking to another person and not caring if they are going to change their opinion on her.
She plopped down on her bed, and warped herself with blankets, blankly staring at the wall that was hovering over the whole room. She was torn between her mix of feeling and all she wanted to do was sleep. She couldn't. Her eyes didn't budge to close, her mind didn't want to rest, and her body was so tense for no reason. Amelia figured that she was not going to rest easily until she told Julian. She knew she had to, no matter the outcome.
He told her so many times that he couldn't imagine his life without her, what was the problem then. She knew him and what was he like. Julian let her see every bit of his feeling and vice versa, so what was the problem. She wished she knew. Was he going to yell? No, he rarely didn't that and hated yelling at her. Was he going to leave? Probably not, he is not like that. Was he going to be happy? That, Amelia didn't have answer for. Maybe yes, maybe not. Was he going to love his kid? Most definitely yes.
Amelia's doubts almost vanished when she saw that he put on the wall his Christmas present he got from her. It wasn't his gesture that did it, it was the very containment of it and every memory that covered every inch of that. Everything they have been through together and still held on as tight as ever. Like nail and finger indeed.
"I understand that you want the best for me, but is it really necessary all this checking up?" Amelia looked over to Hanna that entered the room seconds before.
"It is understandable that you're thinking it through and everything, but you should know by now that I'm not letting it slide so easily."
"What do you want me to say? That I know that he won't leave but that I'm still being a huge drama queen over it all?"
"Well. A child is a huge responsibility, so focus it there. Honestly, there is very few people like Jule on this planet. For him, you shouldn't be every worried about. Whatever you do, you simply cannot be any less beautiful or precious to him." Hanna sat down on the bed, next to Amelia that was still laying down.
"How do you even know that?"
"He told me that. I'm his friend after all." Hanna knew she hit the nerve there and not in the bad sense. It was the right thing to do, to tell her that. "He told me that day before Alice's birthday."
"It would be heartbreaking if it was his last day, wouldn't it." Amelia earned a kick in a shoulder after that answer and a pretty aggressive glare from Hanna. It was a sensitive topic for Amelia, Hanna knew it, but talking about it like that was just purely stupid.
"It wasn't. That is what it matters, and I honestly can't imagine our little squad being the same without him, just because he is the reason you're finally okay."
"It is scary, I have to say." Amelia sighed. "He needs a golden medal for coping with me."
"Or just a little love."
"He has more than he can imagine."
"Awwwww."
"What about Leon and you?" Amelia started, making Hanna blush as hard as ever. "How are things between you two?"
"Things are great."
"Just great. That is all you have to say?" She couldn't believe Hanna's words.
"He is most amazing person that walked this planet and I was so stupid for not going out with him sooner and I'm just mind blown that someone like him could ever like a person like me. I have no idea what I did or said that made me look like something, someone, that he could ever love. I have no idea what he sees in me besides the while bunch of anger and frustration and insecurities, and there he is. Every step of the way, against or with my will. Right besides me, as if he is carrying me throughout the mess that comes up. Amelia I have no idea, what I did in life, that someone like freaking Leon Goretzka came into my life and gave his all to stay." Hanna just started rambling at once, bringing a huge smile on her face while she watched her friend talk about the guy she loves. She could relate to her, but this meant so much more to Hanna. He meant so much to her it was just amazing to look. "And I love him. Like really, genuinely, completely, utterly, incredibly and unconditionally. I love him"
Neither of girls knew that Leon actually heard their conversation. All he wanted to do was come and tell them that he will be leaving and the next thing he knows, Amelia is asking about him and how she feels. Considering that Hanna was pretty closed up, this surprised him. This blew him away like the most beautiful slap in the face he could get. Sadly, she didn't even see how beautiful she is. She showed her beauty in so many ways it was probably absurd for someone to be that precious. When she smiles at him, he feels like the luckiest guy on Earth, and when he gets a chance to hold her hand, kiss her forehead, hold her close...the time stops. It is just her, there, with him and he is calm. At least.
He had to remind himself to do something really special for her but it seemed that just the fact that he cares for her was enough. Simple as that, no matter how much she thought that she was complicated, she was simple. Just a simple person that he loves trully.
Leon kept his words for himself and with a smile on his face, left the apartment. It was obvious enough that two best friends had a lot to talk about.
***
Amelia appreciated the fact that Hanna wanted absolute best for her, but calling her boss and telling him that she will be absent for a while was crossing the certain line. It was understandable that Hanna didn't want her near Johan, and that her sudden urges to throw up were nasty...but she only started to work and she already needed a break. Of course that people were going to question her, since they didn't know the reason of her absence.
It was 14th January and the day of Julian's arrival was coming up pretty fast. She had less than two days to prepare herself for a nerve wrecking moment she had been waiting for. Even if she failed to say anything, he would notice the change in her mood, the dullness in her eyes and the nervousness that fell over her. At some point he would pull the information out of her.
"No, Jaaaackkk." Hanna whined next to Amelia while they were watching titanic for a million time. Hanna was already sniffing her nose out and Amelia was staring at the screen completely unfazed by the movie itself.
"You know he will die, why are you even so hung up on it?" Amelia frowned slightly, her eyebrows raised as much as possible, and her rosy lips slightly opened as if she was breathing through her mouth.
"Whaa- how can you say that? They are meant to be." Hanna threw a popcorn at her friend.
"Obviously not." She shrugged it off.
"Damn those mood swings."
"Not a mood swing, Hanna. It is a fact." Amelia raised her finger up making Hanna want to break it. "If anything you watched the movie a dozen of times."
"Ha. Ha. Ha." She showed her a middle finger. "You think you're so smart."
"Who's pregnant here and having mood swings?" Amelia chuckled at Hanna who only rolled her big brown eyes and continued to stare at the TV screen.
"Oh shut up you." Hanna muttered.
"But really, you watched it like a million of times, it is not even interesting anymore."
"Bloody hell, Ame, let me watch a movie and cry for another hour." Hanna puffed her pale cheeks and glared at her taller friend, who almost had her face in a bowl of popcorn.
"Noooo, you can cry with Leon. Chose another movie."
"No way."
"Dang it Hanna this annoying, please."
"Ha. No."
"Hanna."
"Pssshhh, eat your popcorn there and be a good girl." She made Amelia shut up before remembering another thing. "Have you figured out how will you tell Jule?"
"I'll go with a flow."
"Yeah, because that usually works out for you two." Hanna remarked sarcastically.
"We talked about it already." Amelia commented not sparing her a glance. "I'll tell him when he comes home."
"But don't drop it suddenly."
"Hanna I know."
"And sit him down before that in case you know, he faints of something."
"Really? Hanna, really?"
"You never know." Hanna put her hands up in the air as if she was defending herself. "Have you even heard from him?"
"I have, this morning. You were still asleep." She nodded her head and put the bowl at the table in front of herself. "In case you're wondering, he did notice something was off."
"He knows you too well." Hanna stated the obvious but then again, Jule also knew Hanna too. He was strangely observant when it came to people that were close to him.
"Well, he will know what is up soon enough." Amelia sighed silently begging that Hanna changes the movie because it seemed to be her bigger problem at the moment.
A/N: I knooooow. This is late and short and uhhhhh stupid but I didn't know what to write anymore and I really needed to update soon so here it is. I'm sorry but school was crazy and my grades slightly dropped down so I need to step up a little but thank you for the patience and reading. I have ideas for this story and don't be scared because of slow updating. The story will continue. Also I posted some short storied before because I needed some stress reliever. Love ya all and thank you once again.