Jacks P.O.V.
it's lunch, so as always I sit by myself and eat quietly, just looking at my food. the lunch hall was always loud, I mostly heard Alex laughing 'cause he used to be the loudest person I know. he's quieter now.
I really hope he isn't lying to me. About 'us' if there is any 'us'. I know him and if he feels bad for someone he will do anything for them, that's how he got Harry popular , Harry was new and Alex didn't want him to feel left out so he brought him over and Harry started hanging out with them. But Alex forgot about me, I don't think he realises how lonely I am. how he is my only friend, and I can't talk to anyone else about anything. I think he has started to realise this so he is feeling sorry for me and pretending to like me because no one as good as Alex could ever like me. ever.
New Message!
Alex1:23: meet in basement now(don't tell anyone were your going) xx ;)
like I would have anyone to tell.
why the basement? no one is ever in the basement, is discusting and horrible. but I will go because Alex told me to.
as I walk into the basement it's pitch black.
'Alex?' I call hoping for him to come and get me out of this darkness. I feel around the wall for a switch and when I finally turn it on I see Alex standing there, In a suit holding some flowers.
I don't know what to say.
is this for me?
no, he's asking me how he looks for Lisa.
that's all this is.
don't get your hopes up jacks
'hiya jack' Alex comes and grabs my arm and leads me to where he was standing but we are now face to face. he can't stop smiling for some reason, are there cameras filming my reaction so everyone can laugh at me about how much I like alex or something?
'erm hi Alex' I say quietly . Alex puts the flowers down next to him takes my hands so we are body's are nearly touching and locks them so I can't let go.
'jack, erm' he's embarrassed . I can tell .
'yeah Alex? what is this? ' I ask 'you look really cute by the way' I say shyly and look away but I can see his smile widen
'thanks jack, so do you haha. but seriously ' he pulls me even closer so are foreheads are touching 'will you go to prom with me jack bassam barakat? '
I don't care right now, even if there are people watching I can't say no to something like that. but then again he could be doing this to make me feel better。
'uh, I think so'
'what do you mean you think so?? ' Alex jokes 'yes or no jacky' he moved his hands up so they are now making my hair messy by being threaded through them.
'yes Alex . I will go to prom with you' I smile brightly, I couldn't hold it back
Alex leans forward and kisses me on the nose, I giggle so he does it again. so I lean forward and kiss him, just gently but it was still a kiss, when I'm with Alex I feel like I don't have to worry about anything anymore, like he will always be here and I never want that to change . ever.
'jack can you come to kellins party after prom?' Alex says right after the kiss.
'but kellin doesn't like me'
'he does! I was talking with him today and he kno-'
'He knows?!?!' I nearly shout. he can't know? nobody can know. I will get tormented at school even more.
'shhhh jack don't worry , he's one of my best friends and he doesn't mind , please it's his birthday, you will be with me the whole time, I promise.'
'okay Alex' he smiles again.
'thanks jackerjack'
Alex P.O.V.
'jack I have to go , walk you home?'
'walk me home! how about walk together?' he laughs the cutest laugh ever
'haha okay then jack'
I walk upstairs to the music department, nobody is ever in there anyway. I find kellin sitting in one of the rooms .
'hey kels, so did I come at the right time?'
'yeah Alex, why are you all dressed up by the way? bit too early for prom ya know.' he laughs
'yeah. I actually just asked jack to go to prom '
'aww sweet! he say yes?'
'yeah yeah. so you ready to ask Yasmin? '
'yeah she should be coming up now anyway . I'm nervous Alex, I don't sing in front of people, ever.'
'yeah I've never heard you sing man, it will be fine'
Just as I say that Yasmin enters.
'kellin don't blame Alex, nothing happened please drop this, we were there' kellin stands up and hugs her to quiet her down.
'ur Yasmin, I kinda wrote a song for you. it sorta explains stuff '
'really kellin? woah okay . I bet it's amazing. why is Alex here by the way. no offence or anything'
'none taken' i say
'oh he's here to play gutair' I tap my gutair .
'and why are you in a suit Alex?' Yasmin says again, damn, damn, damn what do I say?
'long story , don't worry. so now can I sing to you?' kellin smiles
'yes yes please' we All sit down In a circle on the floor and as soon as I start playing kellin joins in
'Oh, my stomach's tied in knots
I'm afraid of what I'll find if you want to talk tonight
Ooh ooh
See the problem isn't you, it's me, I know
I can tell, I've seen it time after time
And I'll push you away mmm
I guess you're afraid, oh, no
And I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
I can't even live with myself
Oh-oh-oh
And I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
And I don't want nobody else
Oh-oh-oh
I only have myself to blame
But do you think we can start again?
'Cause I can't live without you
Oh, my stomach's tied in knots
I'm afraid of what I'll find if I see you again tonight
Ooh ooh
See the problem isn't you, it's me, I know
I do this every single time
I'll push you away (ooh)
I guess you're afraid, oh, no
And I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
I can't even live with myself
Oh-oh-oh
And I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
And I don't want nobody else
Oh-oh-oh
I only have myself to blame
But do you think we can start again?
I only have myself to blame
But do you think we can start again?
I only have myself to blame
But do you think we can start again?
I only have myself to blame
Let's start again
Let's start again
I can't live without you
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh
And I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
I can't even live with myself
Oh-oh-oh
I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
And I don't want nobody else
Oh-oh-oh
'Cause I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
I can't even live with myself
Oh-oh-oh
And I can't live without you now
Oh-oh
'Cause I don't want nobody else
Nobody else
Nobody else
I can't live without you
Oh oh '
wow. that boy can fucking sing all right. wowowowoowow.
'kellin...that was beautiful' Yasmin says as she hugs him
'I'm sorry for being such a jerk yas and not believing you'
'it's fine kellin. but seriously you've got an amazing voice'
'not really'
'yes!!! kellin you sing so well. ' they laugh and hug
I feel jealously kick in. go away. I want something like that with jack too bad.
|play the song;
•blink 182: pretty little girl in the background |
i knock on jacks door too nervous to contain. he is the best prom date i could ever ask for , well i hope he see's it a date. i want to dance with him so badly but i think he wont want that, I just want him to be happy, that's all I ask.this will be the best prom ever. I check the time , it's been 3 minutes since I rang. I ring again. no answer , I feel my body start to shake. he needs to be here. why I he not in? I'm just over reacting.
'Jack!' I call.
'jack!' I wait another few minutes. I haven't been to jacks house in forever. but I still know where his spear key is, I pick up his flower pot and grab the key and open the door.
his house is a reck. there is mess everywhere, tables knocked over, smashed plates everywhere.
'JACK' I'm starting to worry. where is jack? I run upstairs and try and open his bedroom door. it's jammed at the other side, but I hear faint sobs at the other side of the door.
'jack open the door, please' I try and say calmly
'no...I'm so sorry Alex.i-I-I don't want to, you don't want to see me.'
I start ramming at the door, trying to get in
'JACK OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NOW' I feel tears start to roll down my face at a fast pace , I can't stop them .
'Alex' I can barely hear him through his sobs 'just-just GO ALEX'
'I'm not leaving you like this jack' I can't handle this , I'm not good at being sad.
'ALEX LEAVE ME ALONE' I can't jack.
'no jack I'm not leaving you' I keep throwing myself at the door , I need to get in
'Alex go AWAY !' he's nearly screaming in between the heavy sobs.
'jack I need to help you ! let me in!'
'leave me the fuck alone Alex. I don't need you.'
'well I fucking need you jAck'
my heart hurts . I feel it being rugged and pulled in different directions and my stomach has too many bufferflies in so some of them have to die . I stop what I'm doing.
'I'm sorry jack, I just want to help' my crying is getting too much now, I need jack. I can't leave him here. 'just let me in, please'
no answer.
'jack?'
the sobbing has stopped.
no. I need to get in there right now. no. no. no. no. no. I smash myself against the door again and again until it finally opens .
no.
jack.
no.
'JACK' I'm almost screaming , I see his body on the floor surrounded by pills and his blade in his hand, I lift up his wrist , more cuts. shit.
'JACK WAKE THE FUCK UP' I start shaking his body, not being able to control my emotions .
'JACK . NOW . '
I see his eyes flutter open a little
'jack wake up. jack '
'a-a-Alex?'
'jack. now . wake up get the fuck up stop it . now jack now'
his eyes close again . no no no no no no no no no .
' jack wake up . jack wake up . jack wake up. jack wake up' I repeat again and again
I find myself in a pool of tears on his chest when I feel it moving.
'Alex? a-a-Alex I don't want you to see me like this' he can barley have the strength to speak, his voice is weak and dry. I pick his nearly lifeless body up onto his bed and rest his back on pillows. I sit next to him stroking his face.
'jack. your awake' I sigh in relief but I still can't believe this . the tears are still streaming down my face .
'yeah Alex, I'm awake' he's slower than usual when he talks
'jack why? why end it ? jack I can't stand to see you like this' I can barely finish my words too.
he simply lifts up his top. bruises cover the space of his stomach and I can see his ribs more than I should be able to.
'it's my mom Alex.'
jack shouldn't be treated like this. not ever.
'she says that I'm not good enough ' he can barely finish his sentences 'and today she found out I had skipped school a couple days' he takes a big breath. 'and I didn't want to go to school because of the way people treat me and call me names which are true. I feel worthless and I am a faggot.its just the truth. I sit alone Alex, All the time. your not with me, your with other people.'
I don't know what to say. I feel so bad for all of this . 'it's my Fault, all of this. if I wasn't alive this would not have happened and you didn't have to go through this'
'Alex also the best thing that haze ever happened to me! ever. you make me feel right ' he leans forward to sit up properly. I help him up.
'you too jack' I feel so bad. I didn't do anything to stop this, this is all my fault . 'jack?'
'yeah Alex'
'don't do this again. ever. if you ever feel bad call me or tell me and i will be right over , I promise.' I sit next to him and we just lie there, I'm not sure how long for but it was nice to hear jack breath again.
'okay Alex. so you wanna go to prom?' he suddenly breaks the silence.
'no! not when your here like this!'
'Alex, I want to go.'
'are you sure jack?'
'yes Alex. be my date?'
'of course.' we just sit there and smile hopelessly at each other.
|stop the song|