o n e
- october 11, 2021 -
i hovered over adora as she slept. she was actually snoring and that's how i knew she was in a deep, deep sleep. i wanted to wake her up so bad. i wanted to talk about the future and kaarina until our mouths were too dry to continue. my mind was then filled with images of adora in labor and i realized she needed sleep or she would murder someone. she was so cute.
"mr. hemmings?" our doctor poked his head into our room and looked around until my eyes met his.
"yeah?" i stood out of my chair, preparing myself for good or bad news. my pessimistic side came out and i instantly jumped to bad news, "is everything okay? did michael do something?"
"everything is fine," he assured me with a warm smile, "if you come with me, you can see your baby and your family can spend some time with her, too."
my eyes drifted over to adora. i didn't want to leave her but i also knew she was just going to sleep. plus, if she woke up i would only be a room away. she probably wanted time to herself, anyway. she always needs time to herself after a nap. then again, she might want the baby. i also wanted the baby.
"a nurse will be in here tidying up so he will be with your wife. it will be okay, mr. hemmings. the mothers usually want time to decompress after birth, anyway. i think her mother is planning on staying with your wife so she won't be alone."
"okay, i'll go," i kissed adora's forehead gently before following the doctor into a room down the hall.
a nurse was holding a bundle of duck covered blankets. she was cooing and bouncing it up and down as she stepped towards me. my hands began to shake and my palms became sweaty. every possible bad outcome flashed through my head as the bundle was placed in my arms. the little bundle turned out to be kaarina. i shakily lowered myself into the chair in the room as she squirmed around in my arms.
"would you like family or friends to come in?" the nurse asked.
"u-um," i stuttered, "whoever fights there way in, i guess."
i moved the blanket out of the way so i could see her round face. i wanted to be loving and have a moment with my daughter but all i could think to do was boop her nose. i instantly retracted my finger, though. knowing me, i would probably find a way to mess something up if i kept touching her.
"it's just a baby, luke. don't be so scared," mrs. busco said softly as she walked towards me.
"i thought you were staying adora," i responded, my voice barely above a whisper.
"i wanted to see my granddaughter instead," she smiled, "how is she?"
"good, i think. she's sleeping," i exhaled shakily. i had no idea why i was so emotional but i hated it.
"you okay, querido?"
i sniffled and bit down on my lip ring until i tasted blood, "i-i don't know."
"yes you do," she pressed gently. adora and her mother had a way with being able to spill my emotions to them within seconds.
"i miss my mum," i barely choked out, tears threatening to leave my watering eyes.
the tears stung and my lip throbbed but it was nothing in comparison to the pang in my chest. my gut twisted and my chest tightened. everything hurt like it used to when i was eighteen.
"oh, querido," mrs. busco gasped, "this is supposed to be a happy time. think of happy thoughts, mi querido. por favor."
"but i want my mum," i sniffled.
"it is okay. she is watching you and is so happy that you have made this little bundle of life. she is so happy that you have turned into a wonderful man. be happy like she is. it is difficult, i do know that. you just have to think of the happiness in your life and celebrate your mother's life, as well."
"this is a really bad first impression for kaarina," i chuckled lightly.
"babies don't remember anything, querido. all she is going to remember is how her great her daddy is. or how dumb he is, whichever."
"sometimes it scares me how similar you and adora are."
"i'll take that as a compliment. now hand over my nieta ((granddaughter)) and go see your wife."
i carefully let mrs. busco take kaarina away from me, "thank you, mrs. busco."
she smiled up at me before looking back down at kaarina. i looked at kaarina for a moment before walking to the room with adora.
adora was still sleeping deeply, small puffs of air escaping her parted lips. lolita was next to her bed, playing with adora's arm. i'm guessing she was seeing how much she could mess with adora before adora woke up. i flicked the side of lolita's head so that she would stop. lolita playfully stuck her tongue out of me, which i returned with my middle finger. i then sat in my chair placed next to the bed and laced my fingers with adora's. i kissed over every inch of skin i could reach gently, ignoring lolita's look of disgust. eventually everything else in the room went away so that i could only focus on adora. it was probably the last moment of peace we would get in awhile and i cherished it.
-
adora and i stepped into our apartment, well, what was left of it. ashes fell apart under my boots and adora's hand squeezed mine until it hurt.
"mierda," adora finally breathed.
"yeah," i agreed in the same dazed tone.
"we didn't salvage much. just some clothes and half of a baby crib," the firefighter sighed heavily, "i'm really sorry. we're not sure what started it but whatever it was, the fire went up fast and didn't stop."
"i can see that," i nodded as i looked through our destroyed apartment.
apparently, the night we left for the hospital was also the night our apartment decided to catch on fire and burn everything. everything was black and charred. you couldn't find anything that wasn't covered with ashes or melted.
"i left the oven on," adora mumbled, "i left the oven on, oh god."
my eyes widened as i remembered what happened.
...
"dios mío," adora cursed, her hands grabbing her back, "if this demon child doesn't come out soon, i might scream."
"you screamed at a wall yesterday, princess. i don't think you should do it again," i deadpanned.
"the kids next door deserved it," she muttered to herself.
"do you need to yell at me?" i finally asked after minutes of silence.
adora immediately jumped into a rant about me not doing my part to help around the house as she stormed to the kitchen. we both knew i did an equal amount of work around the apartment but it was easy for her to yell about. the yelling helped her deal with the pain. eventually she just walked to another room and scolded a wall in spanish so i didn't have to focus on it. this time she chose the kitchen to rant in.
"can you heat up some burritos?" i called over my shoulder.
"of course i can, cariño!" she yelled back. she meant it sweetly, it just sounded angry and like she was going to tear me apart.
i flipped through the shows on netflix and hummed to a song stuck in my head. i propped my feet up on the coffee table and leaned my head into the pillow. adora and i had moved here after she finished college and i had a long break between tours. we absolutely loved it. we thought nothing could make it any better when we moved in. that was until i forgot a condom one night. the next morning, adora and i decided that a baby could be nice and that condoms were annoying. one thing just led to another and nine months later this is where we ended up.
"you okay?" i asked worriedly when i noticed adora was being too quiet. her ranting had ceased completely and abruptly.
"um, well, i think my water broke," she responded nervously, "but it might be a false alarm?"
"water spilling out of you is not a false alarm!" i shouted as i tried to get off of the couch. i ended up rolling onto the couch and then doing a somersault towards the kitchen.
i sat on the ground as i stared at adora. she stared back at me with horror. i was soon staring in horror, too. this was not going like we had planned it to.
i finally realized what was happening and jumped up. i ran to the bedroom and grabbed the prepacked bag adora had made for when this happened. i ran out to my car, threw the bag in and dived into the front seat. i made it halfway down the street until i realized i left a key element; adora.
i sped back to the apartment and galloped back to our kitchen. adora was staring at me with shock but she still hadn't moved. i wrapped my arm around her waist to support her and together we got her to the car. i made sure she was okay at least fifty times but adora quickly put an end to that.
"this is just like when we had sex for the first time!" she shouted, "stop asking if i'm okay and go."
i lurched out of the driveway with the feeling that we had forgotten something but i ignored it. oops.
...
"you just had the flashback, didn't you?" adora asked as she looked up at me.
"yeah," i sighed, "fuck."
"what do we do?"
"go to michael and ashton's?" i suggested.
she nodded slowly, "that works."
we spun on our heels and walked back to the car.
when adora neared the backseat with kaarina, kaarina started to scream. both of our eyes widened and adora nearly dropped the baby. that just made things worse.
adora managed to fight against kaarina's flailing arms and legs and was able to get her into the car seat. kaarina absolutely hated the car seat. she screamed and shrieked every time she got near it. then she would yell and cry through the entire car ride. sometimes her tantrum would even go an hour after she was out of the car seat. she cried a lot.
"michael and ashton are going to hate us," adora whispered to herself.
"they could never do that," i mumbled back.
both of us were still in shock considering we just found out our fucking house burnt down.
i stepped on the gas before either of us could change our minds about forcing michael and ashton to house us.
-
i knocked on the front door of the large house and waited patiently for michael and ashton to come. the original plan for this house was for calum and me to move in, too. then calum and i got married and that plan fell apart. michael and ashton decided to move in together, anyway. they didn't have anywhere else to stay and neither of them were going to settle down anytime soon. well, ashton was seeing this girl but we all thought it wouldn't last.
"oh, hey," michael smiled when he opened the door. although he was smiling warmly, he was obviously surprised and worried.
"hi, um, our apartment burnt down and we were wondering if we could stay here," i stated firmly. we had no other options so he needed to agree with this. adora's family was too busy to handle the three of us and my family was not capable of being around a baby. the other choices are in spain.
"shit. you can stay here," michael opened the door wider and let us come in.
adora instantly took kaarina up to the guest room so that kaarina wouldn't continue screaming in the middle of the living room. that period of absolute bliss and peacefulness was gone. kaarina was no longer cute and precious; she was a demon.
"i'm gonna go call ashton. you guys can just do whatever you need to," michael shrugged as he pulled out his phone.
i thanked him before taking the stairs three at a time to get to adora. this house was pretty big. it had dark hardwood floors everywhere, the walls were still pristine and white, and some rooms went untouched because it was only the two of them. adora was able to find two rooms next to each other so the baby would have one and then we would have one. they were of equal size and nearly identical. the only difference was that our room was painted a pale grey-blue and kaarina's room was still white and had a smaller closet.
"i got her to fall asleep," adora whispered as she gently set kaarina on the full-sized bed. she then set herself on the bed in a fetal position.
i silently got behind her so i could wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face into her neck. her shoulders had begun to shake and she was hiding her face in the blankets. i covered her neck and face with kisses in a desperate attempt to calm her down. i really hated it when either of my girls cried but when adora did it, it was serious.
"we have insurance, princess, everything will be replaced and we'll get money," i murmured against her earlobe.
"but insurance can't replace the pictures, our old childhood stuff, kaarina's stuff, a-and all of my stuff from spain," she choked out the last few words as her body racked with upcoming sobs.
"i know it sucks but we can get through this. we knew this would be difficult and we've gotten through so much other stuff. it'll be better. we wanted to fix so much in that apartment, anyway. now we can have a fresh start. maybe we can buy a house with big backyard for kaarina and our future dog."
"i liked the apartment and all of our stuff," she cried, her voice muffled by the pillow.
"it'll get better," i promised, "i'll make it better, for you."
"bu-but all the stuff."
"calum and rachel have their stuff from when thomas was first born and they've gotten new stuff since then. we'll take the old stuff. i'll continue to steal michael and ashton's clothes and you can get some clothes from your friends or buy new ones. i don't know if you forgot this but i'm kinda famous. we have lots of money."
she whined and shifted around until she gave into my plan, "maybe it will be okay."
"it's definitely going to be okay. when has it ever not been okay?"
adora shrugged a little. she traced her finger over kaarina's head softly and i fixed kaarina's clothes with my hand that was draped over adora's body. we both admired her and smiled. she was a demon. i mean, she was a product of me. it only makes sense that she's a mess. she was an angel in moments like these, though. it reminded us why we had a baby in the first place and how much we loved her.
"come on," i rolled off of the bed, "let's go call rachel and see if there's extra stuff and i'll go the store to get food."
"michael and ashton probably have food, babe."
i stared at her until we were both giggling.
"of course they don't have food," adora sighed happily, "they're so dumb."
"you're so dumb," i replied and leaned in to kiss her check. she turned her head and connected her lips with mine. it was difficult considering she had to strain to be on her tiptoes and i was bent down at a weird angle.
"bye, cariño," she hummed.
i wiped a tear from her cheek before running down the stairs and to the car.
-
a/n: hiiiiiii
this is basically just a short chapter about their life and stuff. it'll go pretty fast considering babies get boring and toddlers are the shit. i hope you guys like it!!