CHAPTER 05.
Josh stands there, looking from Liam to Zayn and just waiting for one or both of them to say something. After a minute of silence, Josh figures his two friends are not going to talk unless he talks first.
“So, how long has this been going on?”
Liam instantly blushes and Zayn bites his lip. “Josh, I . . .” Liam really doesn’t even know what to say. He just had all of these feelings and then he ran into Zayn and Zayn was apologizing and he really didn’t need to apologize and then they kissed and it was wonderful and wow.
“Not as long as it should have gone since we were rudely interrupted,” Zayn answers since Liam can’t. He grins at Liam which only making his blush burn brighter.
“No, but seriously. Since when have you two,” Josh waves his hand in front of them, “done that?” He feels that he should have known that Zayn and Liam have something going on since he is the one who introduced them to each other. Like, if he never convinced Liam to come here, then they would not have been making out a few minutes ago.
“Not all that long,” Liam says. “Pretty recent actually.”
“Oh, my god.” Josh covers his mouth with his hand. “This just happened right now, didn’t it? Fuck.”
Zayn nods. “Good job, genius.”
“Oh, my god,” Josh says again. He takes a step back. “Carry on with . . . that.” He shakes his head, not at Zayn and Liam, but at himself. He was just surprised to see them having a face battle right out in the open like it was their one mission in life, that’s all. He didn’t mean to intrude on their moment, especially if this is new.
“Oh, my god.” Liam is who says this after Josh is gone as he slumps his head on Zayn’s shoulder.
Zayn rubs his back. “That wasn’t bad.”
“I’m so embarrassed,” Liam admits, face still buried in Zayn’s shirt.
“Don’t be.” Zayn pulls Liam away from his shoulder and kisses him. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
~
Louis is still sitting at his laptop, reading away. This story is so deep and sad, and he really feels for this Toby character. He’s had a hard life and if Louis were in his situation, he has no idea what he would do. Then again, if he doesn’t get his grades up soon, it won’t be long before he finds himself in a similar place like Toby.
Only a few blocks away from the Coppock Bridge, I find myself rummaging through my favorite dumpster at night. There are a line of restaurants that all throw their trash away here and people of money tend to throw away perfectly good food. As I am sorting out scraps and whatnot, I hear hurried footsteps getting louder and louder by the step. I look up from the dumpster and down the alley, wondering who it is that is practically running so late at night.
“Oh, my god,” Josh practically shouts at he enters the room. Louis ignores him and continues on reading.
A woman ducks into the alley and she is panting hard. She clutches her chest and tries to slow down her breathing a bit. I am not sure if she saw me or if she will see me, so I just freeze in my spot by the dumpster. From where she is standing now, I doubt she can see me since the dumpster is pretty much blocking my body.
“You are not going to believe what I just saw on my way back from class!”
She pulls out something from her pocket, but before she can do anything with it, a man creeps his way behind her. “You can run, but you can’t hide,” he says and she spins around, her back to me.
“What do you want from me?” she asks as she takes a slow step backward. She places the object behind her back which I now see is a phone, and she is trying to dial for help.
“Louis? Hey, hello? I’m trying to tell you something here.”
Frustrated, Louis turns around in his chair. “For the love of god, what?”
Josh is bouncing on his feet like he just won the year four beauty pageant. “I was walking back from class like I always do, not paying much attention to anything. I was pretty glad that the professor dismissed class super early since he didn’t have his slides with him. When I turned a corner, I see something and from a distance, it looked like a hug which is like, okay cool, two bros hugging, nothing wrong with that.”
Louis sighs. “Can you cut to the punch line? I’m kinda doing something here?”
“Oh please, for the better part of the past week, all you’ve been doing is sitting right there and staring at your laptop. I’d think you’re watching porn or something of the sort, but I know better.”
“I’ve been reading!” Louis retorts. “I’m trying to get my English Lit grade up, remember? And you’re the one who showed me this website in the first place!”
Josh rolls his eyes. “You cannot blame me for your obsession over whatever you’re reading. I bet it’s like written porn or something and that’s why you’re so captivated by it!”
“There has been nothing more than kissing in the first story I read and the one I’m reading now isn’t even a love story!”
~
Liam and Zayn take the long way back to the dorms. Liam ends up blushing again when Zayn unexpectedly grabs his hand and holds it. Zayn just gives his hand a squeeze and continues on the conversation they are having.
When they are right outside of Liam’s door, they can clearly hear the shouts. “Wait, do you hear that?” Liam asks.
“Yeah,” Zayn responds. “It sounds like Louis and Josh are bickering once again.”
“What d’you think it’s about?”
Zayn listens for a moment. “I think Josh is complaining about how Louis is always on his computer?”
“Well, sorry that I actually found something that I like reading!” Zayn hears Louis shout at Josh.
“Yeah, they’re definitely fighting about that,” Zayn confirms.
Liam snorts. “It’s going to be so much fun living with them.”
“It’s only for this term, right? Maybe next year, I can ditch my shit roommates and you can ditch these two bickering morons and we can room together,” Zayn proposes.
“Hmm,” Liam taps a finger to his chin. “I’ll have to think about that.” Because really, he has to think about that. Like seriously, he just admitted his feelings for Zayn and yes, he already knows that Zayn apparently is a fast mover, but that doesn’t mean Liam is. Then again, next term is in August and that is a good five and a half months away, so anything can happen, right? Liam takes a breath and reminds himself to breathe.
Zayn and Liam enter the room as Josh yells, “You haven’t even let me tell you what I wanted to tell you!”
“Oh?” Louis quirks. “What was that? What was so important that you dragged me out of reading? What is it, Josh? Huh, tell me?”
“Do not use that voice with me!” Josh turns his head and sees Zayn and Liam, joined together at the hands. “That!” he points to them. “That’s what I wanted to tell you!”
“That?” Louis scoffs. “I already knew that was going to happen.”
Josh throws his hands up in frustration. “Ugh.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he tells Josh. Louis turns toward the new couple. “I’m happy for you guys, I really am. Mazeltov and all that good shit.” And with that, Louis sits back down at his desk and goes back to reading.
The man reaches behind her and takes the phone from her hand, smashing it against the ground and stomping on it for effect. “Aw, who’re you gonna call now?”
I can only imagine how terrified this woman is. Hell, I’m scared just standing here. I really just want to run away from the entire situation, but I can’t considering my only out is going through one of the restaurants and that will only bring attention to me (and I doubt the doors are unlocked).
The woman takes a step back. She says something, but it’s so soft that I can’t decipher the words; however, whatever it is that slips out of her mouth, I don’t think it was a joke and I am very sure that the man is mental for laughing. She takes another step back and looks around, probably for an escape, but she probably comes to the same conclusion as me: there is no escape.
“This is really such a waste,” the man says. Neither the woman nor I have the time to figure out what he means before he grabs something from his belt. The shine of the blade of the knife is reflected from the dim street lights.
I gulp. Should I run out and stop him? Should I scream and let them know I am here? Should I try the closest door and call for help? Should I do anything at all?
Just as I am about to reveal myself, the woman screams. I look at the scene and see that the man has an arm around the woman’s waist and her body looks limp. He holds her for a little while and I feel like I’m about to throw up.
My thoughts assume he is going to leave her body in the alley and flee, but he doesn’t. He takes her with him and I just stand there, shocked and not sure what to do. Well, actually I do know what to do.
I throw up.
Louis’ eyes are wide as he reads. His hands are covering his mouth and he is in shock just like Toby. “Oh, my god,” he mutters as he clicks to the next page.
~
The next time Louis is in his English Lit class, his professor is handing back their assignments. Usually, Louis dreads this because he always gets a low mark that makes him want to quit university all together and buy a big box with the little money he has to start off his life as a homeless man.
He shudders at the thought because what if he does become homeless and he ends up like Toby, witnessing a murder and all? Louis thinks back to the story of how Toby tried to get the police to believe him, but they didn’t. They just kicked him out the station and paid no mind to what he was actually saying. That really bugged Louis and now he can’t wait to get back to his room, so he can read the next chapter.
Zayn gets his assignment back before Louis and he frowns at his paper. Louis is not used to seeing Zayn frown at his work, not in this class, so he asks, “How’d you do?”
“Not as well as I should have. I procrastinated and I did it last minute and I just,” he sighs. “I got distracted.” Liam is one hell of a distraction and there’s no denying that.
The professor hands Louis his paper with the same disapproving look he always has. That look is all he needs to know that he failed once again and that he is a failure at life. Slowly, he turns his paper over and sees it’s a little better than before, but it’s still not good enough.
Louis sighs. “Well, Zaynie, at least your worst is still better than my best.”
“Keep working at it. I’m sure you’ll get better,” Zayn encourages.
The professor dismisses the class and Louis grabs his graded assignment and his books. “With what help?” he asks rhetorically before getting up and leaving. Although Louis is looking elsewhere for help, he still is a bit mad at Zayn for not helping him. Part of him hopes now that Zayn and Liam are together, Zayn won’t waste his time pining after Liam and start helping Louis again. The other part of him know better to even think Zayn will have time for him. Louis hates to admit it, but he feels as if he’s been replaced and in all honestly, he kind of is.
~
“I am a horrible person.”
Liam shoots Zayn a sympathetic look, but he doesn’t see it because he has dropped his head down on the table. “No, you’re not.”
They are in the back of the library and they are supposed to be studying, but it’s not how it’s going. “But you didn’t hear the tone of Louis’ voice, Li. I just--I know I promised him I would help him and I broke my promise. Ergo, I am a horrible person.”
“You are not,” Liam assures him as he pats his arm. “Do you really think I’d be dating a horrible person? You have to give me more credit than that.”
Zayn looks up. “You are too good for me.”
Liam chuckles. “Now, that’s just ridiculous.” He leans over the table and gently kisses Zayn. “Do you still feel horrible?”
“Yes,” Zayn groans.
Liam kisses him. “How about now?” Zayn nods, so Liam kisses him again. “Now?” Another nod. Another kiss. “Now?”
“Oh, just come ‘ere.” Zayn pulls Liam closer to him and properly kisses him. He has half a mind of crawling over this table to get closer to Liam, but they are in a public place and that’s a bit inappropriate. Even though they are in the back, anyone can pass by because it’s not like there aren’t any books back here. Then again, who uses books anymore for research? Everyone has adapted to Google.
“Well,” Liam says as he sits back down on his chair. “If this is how studying goes here, I am very glad that I transferred.”
Zayn laughs. “I don’t know about everyone else, but this is definitely how I like to study.” He doesn’t sit back down on his chair; instead, he walks around the table and sits on Liam’s lap. “Yeah, this is how I do it.” He places one hand under Liam’s chin and tilts his head up to kiss him.
Liam breaks the kiss. “Does that mean you always kiss people when you study?” he teases Zayn, but tries to look a little passive
“Liam?”
Liam raises his eyebrows, still trying to hold back his smile.
Zayn starts leaning in again, “Shut up.” he mutters as his eyes flutter closed.
“mmKay,” is all Liam says to that because once again, Zayn’s lips are on his and Liam doesn’t think he’ll ever be used to it.
~
In all honestly, Louis feels sad and like a failure. He actually tried on this assignment and he gathered up everything he has learned from the few tutoring sessions with Zayn and the point’s made in the stories he has been reading. All of the elements of a story is making a hell of a lot more sense than it did a few weeks ago, but it’s still not enough to lift Louis’ grade to where it needs to be.
It almost seems hopeless for Louis to keep trying because he knows he is just going to fail again no matter how much time and effort he puts into his work. Part of him thought he was finally getting the hang of it, but it’s obvious he isn’t. Maybe he should just withdraw from his classes, cancel his housing contract, pack all of his things and just go home. His mum won’t be happy, but maybe he can get a job as a waiter or something and work his way up that way.
Or, he could just sell everything he owns and wait for the university to kick him out after failing miserably.
Louis opens the mini fridge in his dorm room, hoping to see a water bottle of vodka chilling in the freezer department, but there is nothing there. He curses whoever drank it all until he remembers it was last month, he, Josh, and Zayn had a little birthday celebration for Zayn.
With a grunt, Louis kicks the door to the fridge, making it slam shut. He steps out of his shoes and falls face down on his bed. Maybe some sleep will cheer him up and if it doesn’t work, he can always fling himself out of a window.
~
Josh finds Liam and Zayn getting a little too close to each other in the back of the Library, so he interrupts them before they can start locking lips again.
“Oi, Li! You were meant to meet me half an hour ago!” He crosses his arms, trying to glare, but he can’t when two of his friends are being so damn adorable in front of him.
Liam hides his face behind Zayn’s shoulder and mumbles an apology. Zayn puts his arm securely around Liam and kisses his temple before turning to Josh.
“Sorry, it’s my fault, I didn’t know he had somewhere to be and I was distracting him.”
Josh shrugs and sits down in an empty chair. “I’m messing with you, I don’t actually care, but a text to let me know you were bailing might have been nice,”
Liam blushes a little, hiding back into Zayn, “Oops.”
Josh chuckles because he can see what Zayn see’s in Liam - not that he feels anything himself, of course! But he couldn’t blame anyone who did.
“That’s cool, I’ve got a class soon anyway, but we’ll do that catch up thing later, yeah?”
Liam nods enthusiastically as Josh gets to his feet and leaves with a quick wave goodbye.
“Now who’s the horrible person,” Liam mutters, feeling guilty.
“Me, babe. Never you, never.” Zayn kisses the tip of Liam’s nose, making him go a bright shade of red.
Zayn’s stomach squirms when he sees the way Liam’s cheeks turn dark and he looks towards the floor chewing his lip - he’s quite literally the most adorable thing Zayn has ever seen. On top of that, Liam is his, actually his. He doesn’t have to share him, ever. Liam is all his; and it’s the best feeling in the world.
~
When Louis wakes up, he remains still. His body doesn’t seem to agree with his mind that it is time to wake up again, but the sun is still up (well it’s not completely set, at least) and Louis knows that if he lets himself drift off again he’ll be up at two in the morning. He rolls over onto his side and can now see that no one else is here, but Liam’s jacket is on his bed so he at least had passed by. For a brief moment the thought of Liam makes Louis a little sad; Zayn has hardly had time to talk to him since his infatuation with Liam began, and now that they’re offical, it doesn’t look like Zayn’s priorities will be switching back any time soon.
Louis’ eyes wander around the room, absently searching for something to pass the time. The moment they land on his laptop he pulls his blankets around his shoulders and stumbles over to his desk chair, making himself comfortable and logging in. Louis doesn’t go through the routine of opening up different profiles or his Facebook page, he just waits for the tab he never closes to appear on his screen. When his laptop finally finishes loading, he picks his reading right back up.
I wake up in a cold sweat and my heart is pounding. For the fifth night in a row, I have had the same nightmare. At first, I didn’t know what it meant, but everytime I see the woman die, it started making a bit more sense; however, this night, it wasn’t the man who killed her.
It was me.
I don’t understand why I feel so guilty. I tried going to police and what did they do? They laughed at me and accused me of trying to weasel my way into getting a free cup of coffee. They wouldn’t listen to me and because of them, that woman’s family and friends are probably freaking out since they don’t know where she is. Hell, they’re probably going to bust an artery when they find out she was killed.
This whole situation isn’t fair. Who cares if my parents stopped giving a shit about me? Who cares if I hadn’t had a decent shower or meal in months? Who cares that I sleep under a bridge? It shouldn’t matter that I am homeless. The police should have taken me seriously. They are going to regret it the moment the woman’s family reports a missing person’s report, if they haven’t already.
My life is anything but ideal and I know that. I’ve been on my own for such a long time that I probably don’t even know how to interact with people anymore. Who knows what will happen once I am back on my feet? If I get back on my feet, that is.
When Louis stops reading, he stares at his screen for a while as an odd sense of guilt washes over him. He knows he’s lucky with what he has, and it’s his own fault for where he is struggling with his school work - he should have done something about it earlier rather than moped, and he realises this now that he actually is trying. He has a roof over his head, family and friends that care about him, a bed to sleep in and there is always food on his plate and money in his bank account. He has a whole lot more in his life than Toby. Louis realises that as much as he feels empathy for the boy’s life he has been reading, he has nothing on Toby, and should be grateful for what he’s got and just keep trying, because things always get better, right?
~
Zayn knocks on the door of Louis, Josh’s and now Liam’s room. He doesn’t know if Liam is inside, but that’s honestly not the reason he is here. Zayn saw how disappointed Louis had been when he got his mark back and even though Liam had comforted (or rather distracted) Zayn from his worries, when they had gone separate ways and that blissful feeling was wearing off, Zayn once again felt like he had let Louis down. So here he was to apologise and promise to make up for it, and to actually follow through this time.
The door swings open and Zayn is faced with a quite obviously shirtless Liam.
“Hey,” Liam grins, slightly confused to see Zayn there when they said goodbye not half an hour ago - not that he is complaining, of course.
Zayn doesn’t respond; his eyes are too busy wandering all over Liam’s bare torso to even take in his boyfriends greeting, so it’s left unnoticed. Liam isn’t blind, he can see where Zayn’s mind is wandering to, so he decides to put the boy out of his misery. Turning away from Zayn, he grabs a shirt off his bed and pulls it over his head. Zayn pouts, but the action snaps him from his thoughts of pinning Liam to the bed. It makes him remember the reason of why he came in the first place, but with a glance around, Zayn sees that Louis isn’t here. Neither is Josh for that matter which means it’s just him and Liam.
“What’s up?” Liam asks, still unaware as to why Zayn is here.
The words just draw all of Zayn’s attention back to Liam and a small smile creeps onto his lips. “I was after Louis, but he’s obviously not here.”
Zayn takes a small step closer to Liam and Liam raises his eyebrows at both Zayn’s words and movements. “Yeah, he went for a walk or something. Procrastinating I think.”
Zayn nods, not really paying attention, “Josh isn’t here either?”
“... No,” Liam notices that Zayn takes another step and there is hardly any space between them now.
Liam isn’t sure when his breathing began to speed up and grow unsteady, but after realising their proximity, he is completely aware of the way he can’t seem to inhale quite right or keep his hands steady.
~
Louis takes a deep breath before turning around on his heels and heading back to his room. He was in dire need of some fresh air to clear his thoughts and get his priorities straight. He is more determined than ever to do better in his classes and if that means he has to cut back on the movie marathons and nights out at the pub, then so be it. Louis wants to get somewhere with his life, but he can’t do that if he fails and he knows that. He is thinking about asking his professor to go over the assignment with him, so he can see what he got wrong and how he can improve.
Feeling better, Louis turns the doorknob and walks in, only to want to turn around and walk right back out again. It’s not that he isn’t happy for Liam and Zayn, he just doesn’t feel the need to see them ready to rip each others clothes off every time he enters a room. Louis just doesn’t find it fair. Liam practically came out of nowhere and it took no time at all for him to fall for Zayn just as Zayn fell for him and now they’re sucking face like sixteen year olds - it’s not exactly what Louis wants a front row ticket for.
He clears his throat loudly, making the two jump away from each other in a startle. Liam and Zayn look at each other and burst into a fit of laughter because it wasn’t too long ago that the same thing happened, but it was with Josh and not Louis.
“Are you quite finished?” Louis asks as he walks past them and takes a seat at his desk, angling his body so he can see see them.
Liam stifles his laughter immediately at Louis’ tone and nods. His cheeks are burning red and his lips are swollen, but he’s still smiling like an lovestruck idiot. “Yeah, um, Zayn you should go or I’ll never get any studying done.”
Zayn pouts. “Fine.” He steals a kiss before waving goodbye and leaving, completely forgetting why he had shown up to the Louis’ room in the first place.
Louis turns so he is sitting correctly at his desk. He feels like Zayn just slapped him in the face considering he didn’t say one word to Louis. Yes, last time they spoke, Louis was pissed, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still friends. They’re still best friends, aren’t they?
Louis knows he shouldn’t, but he feels a little pissed off at Liam for this. It’s not like it’s Liam’s fault and Louis knows that, but it’s not fair that someone who is practically a stranger has taken away his best friend. Did Zayn not even care about his friendship with Louis anymore? Louis wasn’t jealous of Liam and Zayn’s relationship, he just missed his best friend.
With a sigh, Louis clicks back on to the story, “It’s My Fault” and sees that where he left off is where the author stopped writing. He really wants to know what happens next, not just for this story, but for “Discovering You and Me” as well.
Louis realises there is no way to know what will happen until they are updated by their respective authors, but that could take days, and it could be months before either of them are actually finished. He rests his elbow on his desk beside his laptop and places his chin on his hand, staring at the screen. Louis’ other hand sits on the other side of his laptop and he drums his fingertips mindlessly against the wood. There is a nagging in his mind -- he wants to know why Lucas ran away from Thalia. He also wants to know what happens to Toby.
After a few minutes pass, Louis finds himself creating his own scenarios, he imagines Thalia would chase after Lucas and ask him to tell her what’s so bad about it, then Lucas would rant and rave about how different they are and how it’s wrong for him to love her. After that, Lucas would slap a hand over his mouth, unbelieving of what he had just said - but Louis didn’t know where it would go from there. When he draws a blank, his mind drifts to Toby, will he find someone? Will someone find him? Will anyone believe him? Louis has no idea where it’s going, there’s just a swarm of questions swirling in his head, but he does know he wants everything to work out for Toby, he wants someone to help him.
“They’re just fictional characters, Louis!” Louis scolds himself under his breath.
He stares at his screen a little longer then hits refresh because maybe he’ll get lucky. Louis doesn’t, there are no new parts to either of them. For a moment, Louis considers searching for something new to read, but he knows that if he does then he will just end up in this situation again, only it will be worse because he will have three unending storylines and not just two.
His eyes wander to the top of the page where there is a link to the authors profiles. Louis bites down on his lip, would it be strange if he were to ask them what was going to happen? Or at least how long he had to wait to find out?
“Hey Liam, can I ask for your opinion?” Louis asks, completely forgetting his current distaste for the boy.
Liam looks up from his history textbook. “Sure.”
Louis thinks for a moment on how to word his question. “Would it be a good idea for me to message complete strangers on the Internet when I have no idea who they are and ask them ever so kindly when they will be updating their stories?”
“Yes,” Liam answers without thinking about it. “By all means, go for it,” he encourages. “You might just end up making an awesome friend.”
Louis doesn’t question Liam’s enthusiasm, and shrugs. “Alright. Well, here goes nothing,” he says more to himself than Liam as he clicks to the profiles of justdave and mynamehere.
~
A/N: uh-oh, talking to complete strangers on the internet about how fantabulous their stories are, who would ever do such a thing? ;)
As always, please let us know what you think. We shall try our very best to have the next chapter up next week. See you then :)
-Thing 2 xx