Chapter Nineteen: Princess of China.
“This is fucking stupid,” I know I’m pouting and right now I don’t even care. I was allowed to pout and Niall wouldn’t say a thing because he was putty in my hands.
I just want out of the whole situation, Niall, this dinner and everything that was happening. If God existed he was cruel, that's all I could think about as we drove through the market place. When he had suggest I try on I thought he was kidding but now I know he wasn't. The last thing I was going to do was dress myself up and look stupid just to make him happy.
His mother was kind beyond imaginable when I woke that morning, she took me in to the garden and the fresh air helped. I am feeling the difference, being stuck in the hospital made you feel sick. Being here, with people who genuinely care about you was what makes me feel better.
Despite not wanting to get close to Niall again it wasn’t working. He was pushing back harder than I was pushing and it only makes him come back twice as forceful and protective.
“I’m taking you shopping and you have the attitude of a five year old.” He says turning into the parking spots. It reminds me of being home, the small streets and quiet buildings. I miss Jean and Brad, he had cut me off from himself and Jean because he thought it was better for her.
I spat at the idea, broke my phone on the wall when the argument didn’t turn in my favor but it didn’t matter. Maybe he was right, maybe separating myself now would help her move on.I didn’t care if she hated me like I hated dad, the hate was always better than crying.
“Come on then,” He says opening my car door. He snaps me back into the mind set of ruining the dress appointment at all costs.
“So you want me to make a fool of myself is that it?”
I ask him as he guides me along the sidewalk and into the small shop. His arm is tucked alongside me, resting on my lower back as we walk. I feel safe but that just makes me frustrated so I push him off as we enter and walk on my own. I stand alone staring at the empty dress shop, everything lined in racks. The fabrics all different and beautiful, short and long, fluffy and slim I can only imagine the prices of these beautiful pieces.
“Not a chance in hell Niall,” I say, I go to spin on my heel but lose my balance and almost fall.
“Try some on grouch,” Niall smirks at me, which was something I hadn’t seen for a while. I couldn’t say no to it, so I sigh and start digging through racks of fabric. Each one is a different soft feel or a bright color that I would never wear. Even healthy.
I pick out a few pieces against my will and go behind the heavy black curtain. Hidden from the world I take the time to study myself in the mirror. My hair is pulled back into a ponytail as always, the bruise on my jawline are turning green finally. The ones on my arm are dark and show through my thin sweater that I had decided to wear that morning.
I pull on the first of the few I had chosen and look at myself in the dark purple color, it only made me look more pale than usual. Niall stands outside the curtain, he plays on his phone until I step out into the light.
A smile creeps across his face and he laughs under his breath, “Are you going for morbid?”
I turn and let him zip up the back closing me into the dress tightly, it hangs around my hips loosely and it barely fits at all. But it’s on and it’s ugly, I shake my head at my appearance almost laughing at myself.
I needed a pound of makeup and a hair brush, “Can we stop now?”
“Stop? We’ve barely just started!”
I walk back through the curtain and grunt before coming back out and getting him to unzip the back. He tease my back with his fingers and leans forward “You don’t need any help in there?”
He jokes, his mood is affecting mine in a million different ways as a smile smile creeps on my face. I back into the change room and close the curtain in his face before I respond to his comments.
“You never responded,” he coos at me.
“Because you were being a pervert.” This process goes on for what seems like hours, trying on dresses, and turning them down. I was beginning to get exhausted and my stomach was growling in hunger.
I hadn’t eaten properly in days because of the treatments and I was starting to see the effects of it. He sees it too because he becomes quiet and patient with me as the day goes on.
“This one,” He says simply, I turn to see him standing with a dress hanging over his hands. I laugh at him, and his choice in dresses before taking it from him, “Seriously, try it on.”
I slip on the straps, pulling it gently up and over my left shoulder. It fits perfectly, and the color made me look anything but sick. It hangs down over my slimming body and shimmers in the sunlight. Even with the dark contrast of the bruises I look quite well.
Niall sits on the couch, his head is leaned back on the top and his eyes are closed. He’s just as tired as I am, I stand in front of him admiring his peaceful state. I turn and look in the mirror admiring the fine silk and ombre of sparkles that line the bottom. I run my fingers over the material that bustles just under my breast line and the smooth line that comes across them.
I smile, maybe I can pull this off after all.
“You look…” he comes up behind me and looks at me in the mirror. “Perfect.”
I couldn’t help but smile at him as he takes my hand and spins me around like a princess. The spin however makes me dizzy and I lose my ground. I try to find it but my legs are shaky and unstable, Niall braces my back and sits me down.
I close my eyes, sighing deeply. I was foolish to pretend even for a moment that I would be healthy enough to do this. That I would be well enough to wear a pretty dress and dance around ignorant to the fact that I was dying. I was ignorant about everything, thinking I would would be alright to continue my life the same.
He helps me pull the zipper back down and the dress down over my shoulders. I sit on the stool with a bottle of water, drinking most of it down. “I’m just hungry is all,” I say.
He nodded his head and takes the dress up into his hands, “Put it back.”
“Oh hell no,” he argues back. “You’re going, like it or not.”
I don’t have the energy to argue with him so I just ignore the comment and walk to the car in silence. I watch as he chats quietly with the store owner, purchasing the dress I shake my head hoping he wouldn’t have. He appears from the store with a long black dress bag and a smile for me.
“We’re having a good day if you seemed to have forgotten?” He smirks putting the dress in the back seat. He takes his time climbing in the front beside me and starting the engine. He looks at me and waits until I return the smile back to him.
“I’m starving Niall,” I say to the window, I don’t want to show him my sadness. He was right, we had been having a great day and now I’m sulking over a silly lack of energy.
He gives me his hand and I take it without even another thought. It feels good there, safe and warm, exactly where it was meant to be. He drives us to a small pizza shop just down the street after we had sat in the car arguing.
It was so small that only two tables sit in the lobby, I sit in the empty one and wait as Niall goes to get food. I watch his back at the counter and wonder what he’s thinking right at this moment. Did he constantly worry about me or did he have moments where he didn’t see the sickness. Where he saw a brief moment of life passing through me. Because those are the moments I want him to remember.
“Thank you,” I say as he sets the food down on the table.
“You’re welcome love,” he coos to me. I loved the sound of his voice when he called me love and for that alone I smile at him.
“I mean for everything Niall,” I say in between bites of food. “Even with me being a total snobby, stubborn, jackass you are still here trying to take care of me.”
He looks at me and shakes his head, he sets down his pizza and stares at me the smile dropping from his face. “I left once,” he says “I’m not as gallant of a knight as you make me out to be Sarah.”
“You also came back,” I say quietly still smiling at him, hoping he’ll return it.
“Not before getting smacked around by an old lady.”
“And I thought you were tough,” I laugh at him.
“Hey now, she hits pretty hard for a small woman.”
He finally smiles at me and I take the breath I’ve been holding in, I missed that smile. He had been selfish with it lately, and I wanted it back. He dips his head down looking at the table, the sun plays with tips of his blonde hair. The blue in his eyes sparkle with every blink he takes and it removes the air from me altogether.
“It helps that I’m hopelessly and madly in love with you,” he says his face completely serious.
“I know, you’ve told me.”
“I so knew you were awake by the way,” he laughs. A bit of pizza sauce stains the corner of his mouth so I reach out and clean it gently. He takes my hand and presses it against my face closing his eyes as my skin touches his.
“I’m sure you did,” I say to him.
“Sarah,” he says opening his eyes and looks straight into mine “no matter how hard you try to get rid of me I’m not leaving again. I know what you’re doing, pushing me away hoping that you can push me hard enough that I won’t return. I want you to know that you are very much stuck with me darling.”
“That’s not such a bad thing,” I say eventually. I didn’t want him to leave, but it was what was best for all of us. Including him, and it was bound to happen eventually.
**Guys, I'm half way through the editing of this story and I love exactly where it's going. It's all exactly working out as planned. Soon enough the editing will be done and I can start Need You up again.
Make sure to comment below, vote because this all matters to me! It makes the writing process even more fufilling! Love you guys. xx