Once we got inside the arena the boys headed off to get ready. I threw my purse in their dressing room and went to go explore the place, I made my way to the merch table and sat with the guys that ran it. Kyle of course was there.
"How ya doing?" He asked me when nobody was paying attention
"I'm okay, I'm really sorry you had to see me like that." I was really embarrassed I didn't even know Kyle that well.
"Don't sweat it, my sister has really bad anxiety too." He said shrugging, before one of the other guys started talking to him. I don't know why but his statement made me feel better. We didn't talk much after that till the concert started.
This was one of the biggest arena we've been too and I was getting nervous around all these people, plus so many fans wanted to take pictures with me and talk to me. I just wasn't in the right head space for it, I sat down on one of the chairs behind the table and pulled out my phone to try to distract myself. I was scrolling through Twitter not actually reading anything when someone lightly grabbed my knee making me jump. I looked up quickly and see Joey, one of the stage managers.
"Uh hi can I help you?" I said as nicely as possible
"The boys wanted me to take you to their dressing room the shows almost over." I just nodded and followed him. He leads me into a dressing room before closing the door. Fuck
"Um what's going on?" I backed up against a wall expecting him to come closer but he stayed right next to the door.
"Don't be scarred doll I'm not gonna hurt you." He chuckled my breathing started to get heavy someone please tell me this isn't really happening. I thought the boys made me safe.
"What do you want from me?"
"I just think that you're one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen!" I didn't need to hear anything else to start having a full on panic attack.
I curled up against the wall and just started sobbing while choking for air. Joey must have been freaked out or something because even through my blurred eyes I couldn't see anyone in the room anymore, I was working on calming myself down when Kyle ran into the room. I flinched when he got closer to me but my panic attack had gone and now I was just sobbing because I thought that part of my life was over. I thought that since I was one directions daughter people couldn't take advantage of me anymore. That I was safe, I was fucking wrong.
"Hey hey hey, what's going on?" He asked not actually expecting an answer but when he got close enough to me I lacked my arms around his neck and sobbed some more I could tell he was startled at first but slowly he wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.
"I thought I was safe." Was the only thing I could say. His body stiffened for only a second before he went back to trying to comfort me
"You're safe. I promise you skyler you are safe now.
"I wanna go home." I cried my head was feeling dizzy.
"Okay just give me one second and I will find someone to take you home." He said trying to let go of me
"NO!" I yelled holding onto him tighter I don't know why.
"Do you want me to take you home?" I just nodded into his shoulder. He hummed and carefully stood up while helping me do the same. I grabbed my bag while Kyle called an Uber. The car ride was silent and so was the walk up to my hotel room. I let him come inside and we sat on the barstools by the mini kitchen. Wherever we were this time the boys said we'd be staying awhile.
"Do you wanna talk about what happened?" He asked softly, like if he was any louder I'd shatter.
"Nothing happened I was just overthinking and I gave myself a panic attack." I said sounding as convincing as I could. He looked at me for a second I knew he didn't believe me but he didn't ask anymore questions.
"Do you think you'll be okay for tonight?" He said before standing like he was going to leave
"I guess but uh, can I ask what room you're in? Just Incase I need you?" I felt so weak saying that.
"Oh the merch people sleep on the buses didn't you know that?"
"Wait, what? The whole tour?"
"Unless we pay for a hotel suit ourselves." I don't know why but that made me furious, those bed were so uncomfortable and there were like fifteen merch people that stayed on one bus.
"That's so fucked up and that's not fucking happening." I couldn't wait for the boys to get back. Kyle waited with me in my room until the boys got back. We had just finished a movie when there was a knock on the door.
"Fuck." Kyle whispered
"One minute I'm changing!" I yelled to whoever was at the door before turning to Kyle "what's wrong?"
"The boys can't know I'm in here. They made it very clear about everyone having boundaries with you. They'd fire me if they knew we were alone this whole time." It sucks but I knew this rule was true, and I know it was for my own safety so I never fought it.
"Uh fuck okay go hide in the bathroom tub!" I shoved his gently and he quickly ran into the bathroom. Once he was safely hidden I opened my door to see all the boys.
"We heard you left early with Kyle? No one has seen him since we've been back. Is he here?" Louis said I looked at the clock the boys concert had been over for hours.
"Uh no? He brought me back to my room and he made sure I was okay before he said he was going to get something to eat." That was the best lie I could think of. "But we have to talk anyways. So get in here!" I said pulling them in.
"What's up?" Harry said as they sat down on the couch
"You guys make your merch people sleep in the bus all tour! That insane. And it needs to stop now! Tonight." I said crossing my arms
"Do you know how expensive hotel rooms are?" Liam asked
"Then why are we getting such fancy room? Like why did I need a kitchen when none of us ever cook? And I'm sure people would be fine sharing rooms! Anything is better then those beds on the bus!" I crossed my arms "and I want a body guard from now on."
"Why what happened!" They all kinda said at the same time
"Nothing big and nothing I wanna talk about right now but from now on I want Kyle as a body guard. I want him around me at all times. He's really good at helping me with my panic attacks and episodes."
"When has he ever seen you have a panic attack?" Liam asked crossing his arms as well
"The other night I had one and him and zayn helped me through it and I had one tonight and that's why we left the concert early. I'm not negotiating this. It's happening."
"And what makes you think we have to listen to you?" Liam was really starting to get on my nerves.
"Because if this doesn't happen I will leave. And this isn't some little kid saying they're gonna run away. Liam I will leave." I was so very serious.
"You can't just run away from your problems."
"I'm not running away from them. But if I don't feel safe in a situation I'm gonna leave it. I don't feel safe touring without Kyle as a body guard."
"We'll need some time to talk about it." Niall said
"Fine. But everyone still gets a hotel room. And Kyle will get the one next to mine." I know Joey has a room on this very floor already.
"Fine." Zayn said
"You're one good negotiator little girl" Harry said standing up and messing with my hair. The boys went to go leave but there was another knock on my door. I was very confused
"Who's that?" Louis asked
"I honestly have no idea." I opened the door and it was Kyle! Holding a Dunkin bag and an iced coffee
"I know you said you didn't want anything but I brought you something anyways." I was more confused now then ever
"Awe thank you!" I said taking it from him
"Okay well I'm going to bed now lemme know if you need anything." He said smiling before he turned to head back to the bus
"Uh boys is there anything you need to go do right now?" I said putting my hands on my hips
"Yeah yeah, we're going!" Liam said before he called for Kyle. All the boys but Niall went down the elevator with Kyle I really pray that boy will be okay. I closed the door and Niall and I sat on the couch together
"So. You like him don't you?" Niall said chuckling
"What are you talking about i barely even know Kyle?" I'll admit I felt safer when Kyle was around but I don't like him the way Niall thinks I do
"Whatever you say buttercup." He said picking up Kyle's phone from off the countertop. shit.
"I can explain." I said quickly, Niall shook his head and set the phone back down
"You don't have to, I trust you and I trust Kyle, promise me you'll come to me if anything happens?" I rolled my eyes and laughed
"I promise okay? I wanna go to bed please" I said kinda pushing him towards the door.
"Fine Fine. But don't forget we have a very busy day tomorrow be up and ready to go by 7:30."
"Why do I always get dragged along to everything you guys do?"
"Because we love you." He said before walking out the door
"Yeah I love you guys too." I said before closing the door. I let out a big sigh before grabbing my drink and the bag that Kyle had given me the only thing inside was a piece of paper that's said:
I'll be back later tonight for my phone ;)
See you at 1.
I giggled and rolled my eyes sometimes Kyle was really goofy and dramatic for no reason. I looked at the clock I was already passed midnight so Kyle would be back soon. I really hope the boys got them all rooms it's not fair to them. I had about half an hour to kill before Kyle came back so I decided to Change into comfier clothes. I threw on black leggings and a big sweater I sipped on my iced coffee as I scrolled through twitter trying to pass the time.
I'm not sure if I was nervous or not to see Kyle.