Not exactly sure how you guys will take this next chapter, there's a lot of drama and violence in this one. Don't be mad :(
When I got home I scrubbed myself until I thought I was going to bleed. I don't regret what I did with Kyle, it was my decision, what I felt bad about was that Holden probably felt the whole thing,
Who cares. She snarled at me, That was amazing.
And it was amazing, a boy can he hold himself. I lost track after the second hour, but when the sweat dried and he eventually feel alseep I left. I felt bad about leaving, but I couldn't have anybody find me like that, I can't have anybody smell him on me. What happened last night has to remain a secret.
"Hurry up" Amber banged on the door.
Looking at myself in the mirror, my skin was red raw, my hair dripping wet, scanning over my body I can still feel every place he touched, every place he kissed, it felt good to be with a guy again but I just don't think that Kyle is the right guy for me to start a relationship with.
Amber looked shocked when she saw the state of my skin, ignoring her morning shower she followed me to my room where I told her the happenings of last night, not in detail of course just an overview.
"What about Holden?" the infinite question that will rule my life,
"We've decided to see other people, he's been seeing other girls and Kyle is the first guy I've been with since I've been with Holden last year I needed to, ok?" she just nodded, not really sure how to answer the question.
"But didn't he feel it?" I knew he did, but how he was going to react I don't know, Amber took my silence as a yes and I knew she felt it was wrong of us to do it and it was none of her business, part of the reason is because of her but I wasn't going to bring it up.
"How's your mate hunt going?" I asked,
"I'm not mate hunting" she deflects.
"You're going out of your way to make sure you see every guy in this town. That is mate hunting" she blushes when realises I know what she's doing,
"You can't force these things Amber, you force it and you might unbalance you and him" I know I wasn't one to talk, Holden and I are majorly unbalanced but we found each other naturally, I was more ready than he was to settle down and that's nobody's fault.
My phone buzzed on my night stand and I knew before even looking at it that it was Holden, it was only a meesage, but the emotions I was getting off him told me he was mad and I just hope it wasn't about last night.
WE NEED TO TALK!
Capital letters and exclaimation mark.
While driving to the Pack house a million scenarios played in my mind, what could he possibly want? I would give anything not to find out.
But instead of it being one on one talking nearly the whole fucking pack was there outside the house, this was much more than just an argument about what happened last night. Stepping out of my car I walk slowly to the group of werewolves, their adrenaline and energy running high as many were fighting against their wolves.
"There she is" one of the wolves whispered and soon all eyes were on me, a path was made and I didn't have to guess as to where it would lead. Alpha Knight, Luna Knight and Holden were standing infront of everybody and their eyes were glued to mine, I couldn't read why I was in so much trouble, their faces gave nothing away.
"Lily Dexter, of this packs defence line, you were spotted yesterday consorting with a werewolf hunter, is this true or false?" Alpha Knight had a duty to his pack, to protect them and I had the same duty being a part of the packs defence line, I don't know how he found out I was with Taylor yesterday, then it hit me, Cooper, searching around I knew Cooper had to be here, he was to become Beta when Holden turned eighteen, it was mandatory for him to attend and yet no matter how hard I tried to find him, I could and I knew this was not going to end well for me.
"I was with a hunter, yes, but I was not consorting" there were whispers throughout the pack, many yelled 'Liar!' but I just wiped it off.
"Then explain" he demanded, he had his Alpha voice on and my wolf had no choice but to comply and the things I didn't want to tell him came out.
"I went to see Taylor to find out what the Hunters plan was, why now they decided to appear after two hundred years?" Alpha gave me to look to keep going, my wolf stirred inside me from all of the pressure, all the whispers that I could cearly hear, my heart beating so loud I could feel it in my ears.
"He told me that his family has planned to attack and eradicate our pack, because they blame some one here for killing Taylor's mother" Luna gasped at the thought and Holden narrowed his eyes on me, searching for a lie, when I let down the wall and let him in he saw the truth. The Alpha looked around nervously,
"That's ridiculous, we don't kill humans, we protect them" he voiced, "You're lying!" the accusation sounded like posion as it dripped out of his mouth,
"No father, she's not" Holden stepped forward in an effort to protect me, but there was something wrong with Alpha Knight, not everybody could see it but I could.
"Silence!" he snapped at his son, "You were telling him our secrets, our strengths and weaknesses, weren't you? to help him and betray your pack".
"No, I would never put my family or pack in danger" I contradicted but his eyes grew even more dangerous,
"I punish you, Lily Dexter, by Vulnus" Vulnus means wound in Latin, in other packs they call it the Wounding, or still wound and each pack has a different way of performing the punishment, some is wolf on wolf, some actually get to fight back, but in our pack, fighting back is a cause of hostility and can result in banishment or death. In this pack, I have to take every punch, kick, scratch, bite and maim they give me and can't fight back, I can't call for help, I have to take it until I pass out or until the Alpha says I have had enough.
I gasped when the words left his mouth,
"No" Holden shouted trying to make his way to me but Alpha Knight had him secured by wolves, my wolf wanted to jump out and attack everyone she wanted to run to Holden and hold him, but I had to force her down, this had to be done. I knew that if I saw Taylor this was what awaited me and took the risk gladly.
"Tala" The Alpha called forth a woman I have known my entire life, she was one of my mom's best friends and one of the packs best offence fighters. She was to be my mentor when I turned eighteen and properly joined the ranks of the Defence Line, I couldn't believe he chose her of all people.
"Yes Alpha" she nodded but her eyes were full of sadness and regret for what she was about to do, I was glad none of my friends or family were here to see this.
I stood tall as my dad would want me too, prepared for whatever Tala had planned for me, that last thing I remember was seeing the fear in Holdens eyes before Tala's fist connected with my face. I stumbled and I felt my ears pop as I regained my footing, unaware of the screams and yells coming from the other wolves,
Fight her. my wolf urged but I knew that wasn't an option. Facing Tala again I didn't see the round house kick to my chest that sent me flat on my ass. Gasping for breath I rolled onto my knees but didn't get a chance before her foot connected with my stomach, grunting in pain, my hand instinctively moved to my stomach. But she grabbed my hair and brought her fingers down across my cheek, I felt the warm sticky liquid instantly. She stepped back and allowed me to stand up, shaking the mess out of my head I stood tall again, Tala looked at the Alpha who glared in fury at me and nodded for her to continue.
She sent her foot straight into my knee dislocating it, before kicking me in the stomach again and stabbing it with her nails,
"Father please, stop this" I heard Holden urge but didn't have time to dwell on it before before my face became a punching bag. Pinning me to the ground, the pain from my knee and my stomach, added with the continuous punching of my face it hurt like hell, I hurt and not just normal hurt like regular humans would feel with they were fighting this was Vulnus, werewolf fighting.
"Eva" Alpha called, he was adding another wolf into the equation because I wasn't going down easily, those who were cheering on Tala to give me what I deserved now turned on the Alpha in shock. Two Werewolves have only ever been used when one werewolf kills another in our pack and two werewolves was used with intent of killing that wolf.
"Stop" Holden shouted but nobody was listening. Tala brought me to my feet that were slowly growing weaker, Eva knocked out my other knee and brought her nials down my back before kicking me towards Tala and Tala kicked me back to Eva. It went on from there, the pain spreading throughout every inch of me, bones breaking, joints becoming dislocated, nails peircing skin so that I was covered in blood and bruises. Unable to walk, stand or breathe, Eva delivered the final blow, round house kicking my face, the last thing I saw was Holden throwing the wolves off of him and racing towards me, before everything went black.
***
I was surprised when I woke up to the smell of Moroccan spice and chocolate, the scent was so strong Holden would have to be centimetres away. Opening my eyes I find i'm right, he was lying across the bottom of the bed with his eyes facing the ceiling, I tried moving something but every square inch of my body throb in pain.
"Holden" I groaned as it even hurt when I talked, he flung himself up and beside me, gritting my teeth together so a sound of pain was muffled. "I need your help" I tried to say slowly in order to not hurt myself even more. He knew what I was talking about, pulling open his bedside table he pulled out a knife that he kept in there incase of a rogue attack in the middle of the night. The blade was sharp and shiny, obviously never been used, he sliced the palm of his hand, before carefully grabbing mine and cutting it, with everything else that hurt, I barely felt it.
My heart beat faster as I realised what we were actually doing, I know I asked for it, but this was a huge step in the wrong direction for us, this binds our wolves together permanently, he'll be able to hear my thought, feel my emotions and know where I am at all times, vice versa, there will be no wall for me to put up and block him. But I needed this, I would not heal properly if I didn't, so nodding to Holden as my consent, he presses his palm into mine, his eyes never leaving mine as I feel the white hot rush of his blood moving up my arm and throughout my body, healing me almost instantly, binding me to Holden.
His eyes were intense as he watched the scratches heal and the bruises disappear, and it was then that I realised I was naked, but blood still covered my body.
"Thankyou" I whisper knowing it was probably hard for him to see me like that, and to do something like that. I felt different, my wolf was on the surface, her entire being consumed with the thought of Holden and what he just did, she was happy and that made me happy. Holden cared about me, I knew that and I cared about him, but to when does care turn to love and can I put myself through it again.
"Do you want a shower?" he asked. I nod and he left while I took a shower, washing my body and watching as the water turned red with the amount of blood that came off of me, washing it out of my hair and off my face.
He tried to protect us. she spoke up, her voice consumed with love,
"I know, I don't blame him for anything, he helped us, he made a sacrifice to heal me but it doesn't change anything" She growled at me when I contradicted her emotions, at the moment, she's confused and doesn't know what she wants, the other day she was quite happy to have Kyle, now she wants Holden, she'll have whoever I can get my hands on.
Throwing a towel around me I walk out to Holden's room where he is sitting, shirtless, head in his hands on the edge of his bed,
"Are you ok?" I ask, actually concerned, he didn't look to good,
"I know you were Kyle the other night" he sighs, looking up at him, bags under his eyes, he doesn't look like he's slept at all.
"So?" I defended,
"Why?" his voice spoke defeat, and my wolf want to take over, to rush up to him to kiss him and tell him she loved him that she belongs to him and no other,
"I needed it" I told him and it was true, not so much need as want.
"Why didn't you come to me?" I walked over and stood in front of him,
"And complicate whatever we had?"
he jumped to his feet, "What we just did complicates whatever we have" he yelled at me, his nose nearly touching mine.
"You have no right to judge me I know you sleep around with other girls" I yell back and his eyes falter, no words escape his mouth. I walk away and slip on the clothes he brought up for me, no doubt they were from one of the sluts closets. Booty shorts and a tight tank top that hugged my curves, I looked back at Holden and he just stared at me, want and desire in his eyes.
"Stop that" I whisper hoping he'll get the hint but he doesn't, in one movement he has my back against the wall,
"I can't, don't you see, I sleep with other girls hoping I can get the image of you out of my head, but all I feel is disgusting and pathetic" he breathes into my ears. With no wall I can see every image of us that pops up into his head, mainly all image where of us having sex, but some where when we went swimming in the river, or on dates or ran with our wolves until we were well out of the territory.
I couldn't find any words to say and all thought was cut off when Holden pressed his lips to mine, it was soft and held so much meaning, all the emotions he kept bottled up inside now flowed between us. It quickly grew heated, I had no idea what kept me going, but I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer to me, deepening the kiss. HIs hands were on my waist and he pressed his body fully up against mine, I could feel his heat and arousle radiating off him. I felt each muscle as my hands glided over his torso, I had completely lost myself until a knock sounded at the door, I broke the kiss with Holden and looked at his green eyes that filled with pain from the loss of the moment and before we could fully move away from each other, in walked Lola, the biggest slut of them all, her clothes left nothing to the imagination as she was barely wearing anything. Her eyes glanced over what was happening and her ugly hazel eyes landed in a glare on me,
"I didn't realise you had company" she smiled sweetly at him though she was clearly very annoyed,
"I was just leaving" I muttered,
"yes you were" she snarled, I raised an eyebrow at her, I had to control every part of me from running up and thrashing her.
"No, Lily don't leave" Holden begged reaching towards me but I stepped out of his reach,
"No I think I should go home" his eyes saddened and I felt his emotions, he was angry at Lola for interrupting us, but he was full of pain and sadness that he couldn't have the one thing he wanted most in the world......Me.
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Sorry it took so long to update!!! I've been in a place where there is NO internet!!!
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Hugs and kisses xoxo