Slowly he became aware of his surroundings, a beeping, a feeling of safety and warmth, the smell of home.
He relaxed, not wanting to wake up.
He moved as his pillow chuckled.
"You awake brat?" Sam's low voice broke through his drug induced haze.
"Ummm" Callen sighed, feeling content.
Sam chuckled again, "He's going to be fine." he said to someone else in the room.
Callen tensed as he realized he wasn't alone with Sam.
Sam ran his hand through the hair on Callen's head, it was slightly longer than normal and he loved the feel of it.
"Shh Brat, you're safe."
Callen opened his eyes and immediately locked onto Sam's deep brown eyes.
"Where am I?" he asked, his brain felt fuzzy and muddled.
"In hospital, you'll be ok. The drugs are being phased out of your system and the bullet didn't do any damage."
"Bullet? I was shot?" Callen pulled back to look down, wincing as a pain tore through his shoulder.
"Rest Callen, you'll injure yourself again." Kensi said as she sat up in the chair she was occupying near the door.
Callen's eyes widened in horror as he realized the compromising situation himself and Sam were in.
Sam smiled and dropped a kiss on Callen's forehead.
"It's ok." He said, "We are just all glad we have you back."
"I went somewhere?" Callen asked.
Sam laughed, but then stopped when he realized Callen was serious.
"G?"
"What?" Callen winced as he stretched trying to get comfy, Sam moved off the bed laying him gently down.
"Kensi, go find the doctor." Sam said quietly to her. She nodded, her face a look of concern and left the room.
"What's wrong?" Callen asked. He was concerned, for someone who had been shot in the shoulder, he was hurt in all the wrong places. Places he hadn't hurt in for a long, long time. "Sam... What happened?"
Callen shifted in the bed, putting his back against the wall.
"What is the last thing you remember?"
Callen tried to think. "Some guy died, Geoff Wilson? Was there an accident on the way?"
Sam leaned over, kissing Callen on the cheek, "Rest, the doctor will be here soon, he'll check you over."
"Sam?" G growled, not liking the feeling in his gut.
"Rest babe." Sam walked to the door, "I'll be back in a second."
Callen looked down, apart from the bullet wound, there was nothing on his front to explain the pain he felt all over his body, as he moved one of the dressings on his back snagged and he winced in pain. He was sure he had worn a safety belt on the way there, and if there were glass cuts wouldn't they be on his face rather than his back?
He jumped as the phone beside his bed rang, picking it up and answering it, he paled and dropped the phone shaking in shock.
Sam stood outside, grim faced as Hetty walked back to Callen's room.
"Mr. Hanna, What's wrong?" Hetty asked.
"G doesn't remember. None of it, nothing past getting the call from Eric about Wilson."
"Maybe that is a blessing." Hetty said, "I have talked to Owen and Ms. Blye about how Mr. Callen was found. I knew last time this happened..." She stopped, realizing what she had let slip.
"You knew him back then?" Sam asked, stepping towards her menacingly.
Hetty nodded, "I wanted to take him in back then, he was so traumatized and refused to go to my home or anyone else's home. He insisted on staying in the group homes."
"He was being controlled, Bill was the instigator, but Nick... Nick was the sadist that controlled him, I know that now." Sam started to pace, "Did he ever talk to you back then about what had happened to him?"
Hetty patted a chair and Sam took a seat away from the main corridor.
"He wouldn't talk, not to adults for nearly six months. He would talk to kids, the ones who found somewhere to go, we knew he would befriend kids for a while, then he would make a call and those kids would be fostered within a week. All boys and all blond."
Sam shook his head. "No... I... No! Callen wouldn't give kids to that monster."
"I'm not sure he was, not willingly anyway. We managed to get him to go to therapy. He wouldn't say anything, except once. He was being talked to by the therapist, who asked him if he missed his parents and his parents love. Mr. Callen, according to the therapist shook his head and said he didn't remember his parents. But that 'they', we assumed it was child services, made him leave the only people who ever loved him. I thought he meant Bill and Sheila McPherson, but I am wondering, what if Mr. Callen actually meant Bill and Nick? What if Mr. Callen was desperately trying to get back to the love he craved."
Sam ran a hand over his face. "God!"
"So you see, even if he did steer those boys in the direction of Bill and Nick McPherson, he was in his mind trying to get them somewhere where they would be loved."
Callen leaned over the bowl and vomited.
He couldn't believe what he had just heard, Nick McPherson. A voice he hadn't heard in years called him. He described in detail what he had done to Callen and what Callen had done to the boys that had been in the house with him.
Callen shook his head, Nick had to be lying. There was no way that he had voluntarily done that to a child.
Maybe that was why Kensi was there? He thought. Maybe he was under arrest? But if he was, why would Sam have been holding him?
Callen was conflicted, how on earth had Nick McPherson found him? What had happened and how much time was he actually missing?
Callen swung his legs over the edge of the bed, he needed to find out where he was and what had happened.
He pulled out the IV that was pumping into his arm, tying it off so he didn't make a mess. He looked out of his room and saw Sam and Hetty talking down the corridor.
He caught Hetty's words floating down the corridor.
"He wouldn't talk, not to adults for nearly six months. He would talk to kids, the ones who found somewhere to go, we knew he would befriend kids for a while, then he would make a call and those kids would be fostered within a week. All boys and all blond."
Sam's face darkened in anger, he couldn't face anymore and he turned to limp away from the two people he thought he could trust.
"Where are you going?" Owen asked as the elevator doors opened and Granger found himself face to face with Callen.
Callen mumbled and staggered a bit, leaning on the frame of the elevator.
"Come on G." Granger said, "You need to rest, you've been through a lot."
Callen shook his head, "Not going back there." He stated stubbornly.
Owen looked at him kindly, "Why not?" he asked.
"They... know, they blame me... I didn't know honest. I thought..." Callen looked down and a tear rolled down his face.
"Trust them Callen." Granger said.
"Why? You didn't hear Hetty. She told Sam... How did she even know?"
Granger put his arm around Callen, "I've talked to your doctor with all that happened to you, you shouldn't be walking around, never mind alone."
"I can't go back to them, I know now, I know what Sam did." Granger looked over and saw a small lounge which was empty. He steered Callen in that direction and sat him down in a soft high back chair.
"Tell me what's wrong?" Owen asked.
Callen leaned forwards his shoulders slumped, "I thought I could trust Sam. I thought I had finally found a place where I belonged. I was wrong. He's just the same as the others."
"I talked to your doctor Callen, I know what happened to you. Sam and Hetty don't know yet, not about..."
Callen shook his head, "Doesn't matter, wasn't the first, won't be the last."
"What do you need?" Granger asked.
"Shooting?" Callen quipped. "Arresting maybe, all those kids... I didn't know."
"I know." Granger said. "What do you need."
"I need space, somewhere... safe. Somewhere away from them."
"You'll need to face them sooner or later, they don't judge you, you know."
"I judge me, I need to work through this, I can't do it with them. I need to know where I stand?"
Owen stood up and patted Callen gently on the shoulder.
"Wait there."
Owen looked at the two down the hall, talking quietly. He knew this wouldn't be a popular move, but then again, he'd never been popular. But he had been watching over Callen about as long as Hetty had.
A few moments later he walked back into the room where Callen hadn't moved.
"Come on son," He went to take Callen's arm, but he flinched.
"I'm not going back."
"No, I'm having you moved to a different room, private wing. Under an alias, until you are ready."
Callen looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you helping me?" he asked.
Granger looked hurt for a second. "Because you are a valuable member of this team and the team works better when you all get what you need."
Callen wondered about it. Granger had never hurt him, but he had many a time angered him or pushed his buttons. They always seemed to clash, but now he was helping him.
A porter turned up, "Cal Granger, are you ready to go?" he asked.
Callen looked at Granger incredulous, "Cal Granger?" he asked.
Granger shrugged, "I only had a minute son." he said by way of argument.
Callen nodded and let Granger help him into the wheelchair.
"I'll sort out the others, you go and get settled I'll be by to see you later. Just know, you are not to blame and no one is blaming you. Take the time to rest and heal. We will work through this."
Callen put his hand on Granger's arm, "Why you? Why are you helping me."
"Because you need me son."
Callen sat back in the chair as the porter pushed him away from Sam and Hetty to his new room.
Sam stormed out of Callen's room as he found it empty, he turned to see Granger walking up the hallway.
"G's missing." Sam growled.
"No, he's not." Granger said, looking at the two of them both so different in stature but both determined to find Callen.
"He's not in his room and his IV has been knotted off, he's running!"
"Mr Callen is safe, he's got nursing care and is resting comfortably."
"Where?"
"It doesn't matter where." Owen stood his ground, "This is what he needs to heal, he's going to see a therapist, a good one. He's going to recover from his wounds and when, only when he is ready, then he will see you."
"He needs me!" Sam argued.
"Right now he needs to work through what happened to him. Alone and in his own time."
"And you think you are the right person to help him Owen?" Hetty asked. "When did you start to care about our Mr. Callen?"
Granger turned to go, but not before Hetty heard his parting comment.
"A long time ago."
Callen sobbed as he was left alone in his room.
He needed to sort out his feelings for Sam. He needed to process and all of his usual coping mechanisms were not working. He blamed it on the painkillers that were still in his system. He curled himself into a ball, his back to the door. He knew that Granger wouldn't tell them where he was. After all Granger wouldn't miss a chance to annoy Hetty or Sam.
But why he would help him was still confusing him.
He was glad he had moved rooms, the last thing he wanted was Nick finding him again.
The door opened and Callen froze, trying to get his emotions inside.
"It's me." Granger said.
Callen slowly and painfully turned to look at him. "How did they take it?"
"Sam's ready to rip the hospital apart to find you." Granger smirked, but stopped at the fear on Callen's face.
"Not like that, he's worried about you, he cares a lot."
Callen scoffed, "Sure he does, he's just..."
"I know about you and Sam, it's the worst kept secret at NCIS."
Callen paled, "How?"
"I caught you a month ago, you looked... contented, I hadn't seen you that relaxed in years... months." He amended.
"You gonna transfer me or fire me?" Callen countered.
"Neither." Granger said, earning him a surprised look from the younger man. "Sam loves you. You love him."
"No he doesn't." Callen snapped. "He's just like the rest, how can I tell? I'm so messed up I don't even know what love is?"
"Love is caring about someone so much that you will put their needs before your own. Like Sam is now. He hates it, but knowing you needed this he acquiesced. He's going to help Kensi and Deeks, but said you are to call him as soon as you are ready."
"It doesn't matter if you love a man or a woman, as long as the person you love truly loves you back."
"Sam has Michelle." Callen snapped.
"Yes, he does, and luckily for you she understands too. Sam will never leave Michelle, but he will never leave you either."
"So... he's not like Nick?"
"God, no!" Granger replied astonished.
Callen lay back with a small smile on his face as he suddenly felt tired.
"He loves me." He sighed as he finally fell asleep.
Granger looked on with a sigh, "A lot of people do son." he said quietly, got up and left Callen to rest.