The months following laurens passing and leading up to the Olympics were hard on everybody.
They didnt seemed focused at times, wondering around, looking for a tall, curly haired woman for guidance, only to stop after a few seconds of realizing who they're looking for. Remembering that she wouldnt be there anymore.
As time went on, some started to become better, more accepting of the passing.
Others were holding on by threads, begging to be rebuilt.
And no one expected Tobin to be the strongest, to be there for everyone else when she could see them cracking at every move or thought.
But it was one person that ultimately saw just how hard this was on tobin.
She saw how tobin would cry herself to sleep at night, not knowing how to cope or even how to face the world like this.
She saw the lost look, deep in tobins eyes that she would soon mask over at practice.
She was the one that would wake up in the middle of the night and see tobin, sound asleep, curled into a ball clutching one of her most prized possessions with tear stained cheeks. Clutching the photo frame that contained the very first and very last photos the New Kids ever took with each other.
Alex saw first handed just how much tobin was breaking on the inside.
She saw just how much strength it took tobin to keep it together for her teammates, because they both know that if she broke down in front of all of them...that would be it for the team.
Because nothings worse than seeing the bubbly, laughing, excited tobin everybody knows, become broken and depressed.
At first when alex walked in on tobin crying, she asked for space.
And thats exactly what alex gave her because she knows tobin doesnt ask for much, and when she does, she really needs what she asks for.
But it wasnt until 2 weeks before their first game, that alex had finally had enough.
Enough of ignoring the elephant in the room whenever her and tobin were together.
She wanted her old tobin back. She wanted the giggly tobin back.
So when alex had come back from recovery and saw tobin was hunched down between the beds, clutching that same photo frame, she knew what she had to do.
And that was to stop with the space.
She dropped her keys and her phone by the door and walked over to wear tobin was, sitting down and pulling the broken girl into her side, never wanting to let go.
"Hey tobs, its gonna be okay alright? She'll be watching over you at every game, every practice, and every second if your life okay? Gotta be strong babe, its whats she wants...do you maybe wanna talk about it?" Alex whispers into her ear.
She feels tobin shrug her shoulders but pull back and run her thumb across the frame, wiping off any tears that were spilled.
"I-its just that i d-dont want her gone Al, we were suppose to grow old together. Her, me and arod, we were suppose to be those bestfriends who were 80 and d-drinking t-tea together. And now we dont get that and i dont know what to do without her. Im slowly starting to break Al and i dont know what to do." Tobin says while trying to hold back sobs.
Alex only pulls her closer again and strokes her hair to calm her down some.
"Wanna make a deal?" Alex tries.
Tobin slowly looks up, curious as to what shes going to say.
"I know it stinks that cheneys not here and nothing could ever replace her, but how about i make copies of these photos, and put it into a locket for you and arod? So you both can have one and wear it whenever and wherever. This way when you see it, you'll know lauren will always be with you, she's never leaving you tobs. And if you do get sad, just look at the photo and talk to her. Because as long as your wearing it, she will be next to you okay? Sound like a plan?" Alex negotiates.
Tobin shakes her head yes and gives alex a sad smile.
"But on one condition tobin, you stay strong for cheney, no matter what the situation, continue to help the people around you. And i also want you to help moe, she hasnt been doing well and kling doesnt know what to do." Alex adds on.
Tobin shakes her head yes as she begins to stand up, putting a hand out to help alex up as well.
"Al i dont know what i would do without you. I know i havent been the greatest lately and im sorry you had to see that, but i am so thankful youre here babe, youre my number one and i love you til days end. So thanks for everything you do, i love you." Tobin says while handing her the photos and pulling her in for a tight hug.
"Anything for you." Alex says while walking out of the room. "Now go on talk to moe."
Tobin obeys because she wants to make alex happy and she knows how hard its been on moe, so she heads straight for moe and klings room, knocking on the door rather loudly.
She hears footsteps inside and patiently waits as kling opens the door, pulling her in for a hug.
"Tobin! Whats up dude?" Kling ask smiling.
"Not much, uh is moe in here? Id like to talk to her." She says with a weary smile.
Kling must know what it is she wants to talk about because her smile fades into a small frown, nodding her head towards the beds.
"Ive been trying tobs, i just hope you can get past to her, i want my old moe back." Kling says while patting her on the back and walking out into the hall to give them privacy.
Tobin walks in a couple more steps to see moe sitting on her bed, reading a book. She walks over to the desk chair and props her feet up on the bed.
She examines morgan closely and sees her eyes are bloodshot and her shoulders are drooped. A sad expression ridden all over her face.
"Hey moe" tobin speaks softly.
Morgan sets down her book to look up at tobin, a sad smile spreading acrossed her face.
"Hey tobin, what brings you here?" Morgan asks curiously.
"I think you have a pretty good idea as to why im here." Tobin says sadly. She notices the change in morgans posture and goes to sit down on the bed next to her, wrapping and arm around her shoulder and pulling her in close.
"I think i do too tobin." Morgan says letting a tear slip.
"How've you been? I know you two were really close, kinda like a mother/daughter bond." Tobin asks hesitantly, not wanting to upset the fragile girl in her arms.
"I feel like i lost my other half." She says before more tears fall. "I feel like i dont have the other half of me with me. I dont feel like a complete person and thats suffocating me tobs. I loved her so much, she was really like another mom to me and i just...i dont know if i can handle this tobin. Its too much." She adds on before fully breaking down.
Tobin just wraps her into a tighter hug, and they sit like that for a good amount of time before tobin decides to speak up.
"Moe, when cheney retired at her last game, i promised her that id watch over you like a hawk, i promised her id let nothing happen to you. I promised her because she was scared she wouldnt be able to do that anymore. She loved you so much morgan, all shes ever wanted was for you to be happy and protected and safe in this world. Im not going to break my promise moe. I know i cant replace cheney, but ill be damned if i cant protect you as much as she did. You mean so much to all of us, we never want to see you like this. Just remember something moe," tobin stops and waits for morgan to look at her, "shes out of pain now, and the good thing about that, is now she gets to watch over you wherever you go in this world. She'll be able to see your every move from up top. I know there wont be a second of the day she isnt watching you, protecting you. She guarded you down here, but now you have a forever guardian angel moe. Everything will be okay. She loves you so much. We all do. Please dont forget that." Tobin finishes giving morgan a light kiss to the top of her head for reassurance.
She can feel morgans grip on her tighten as she hears her whisper out words that hit home.
"I can feel her watching us right now tobs, i can feel her. Guarding us like you said she would."
Tobin holds her close for a couple more minutes before its time to head down for dinner.
"Come on moe, we gotta join the rest of the gals for dinner." Tobin says while getting up and heading for the door. She stops and turns around to see morgan gathering up her keys and phone.
"Hey moe," morgan stops to look towards her, "she's always with you, every step of the way kid...its okay, you'll see her again soon." She finishes before walking fully out of the hotel room.
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A/n- ive noticed i kinda strayed away from tobin and alex lately so a lot of the next chapters will have them together! Enjoy:)