It was cold.
The freezing, icy wind blew softly over my pale, bare skin. I lied there in the snow; its soft blanket of white drenched in patches of scarlet blood.
My blood.
I stared off at nothing, my mind thoughtless, my heart numb. My body ached. My smooth, ivory skin was now covered in deep, purple bruises. I'm not sure how long I lied there before I forced myself to move; to sit up.
It hurts.
Tears threatened my eyes, but I ignored them. I'd cried too much. No one had heard my sobbing, or my screaming. No one heard me. No one saw me.
"Please just stop! Don't! No... no please don- !"
I shook the memory away, holding my face in my hands for a moment before looking around. My clothes were scattered on the ground around me. Finding something that wasn't torn and ripped would be like finding a needle in a hay stack...
I sighed, and attempted to stand before letting out a pained wince and falling back into the snow. The pain in my inner thighs was agonizing. Everything was sore. I think that had to be the moment where I honestly wished I could just...die.
I forced myself to stand, ignoring the wrenching pain between my legs. I looked around, then picked up my long, tan trench coat. I paused, and looked at my hand. I was still trembling considerably, despite my trying to tell myself I wasn't afraid. My eyes saddened as I slipped on my coat, buttoning it and sticking my shaky hands in my pockets before starting to walk slowly. I was barefoot, and my long brown hair was still coated in soft white snow. It was unbarable to walk, but I forced myself forward as I continued on to the house.
Everything just felt...empty.
When I arrived at the house, the door swung open. Val flashed in front of me. "Rayne!" He paused, looking over me. "Are you okay? What happened?"
I stared up at him, wanting to burst into sobs right then and there. But I held it in, realizing from his perspective; all he saw was a girl with snow in her hair and a couple scratches on her face. The rest was covered by my coat.
I smiled. "I'm fine. I just fell. Don't worry, I'll heal." I sounded so happy...I could've fooled myself.
He sighed in relief. "Well come on. You're gonna freeze to death out here."
"Is that possible?" I forced a laugh.
He thought. "Guess not, but, still." He smiled, starting to wrap an arm around me.
I avoided his touch by slipping into the house and smiling back at him. "I'm gonna take a shower, mkay?"
He looked at me for a moment before nodding and smiling. I nodded in return, and started to the hall.
Axel walked out of his room just as I reached it, causing an awkward standoff. I smiled at him before walking around him to get to the bathroom. My hand had barely touched the handle when Axel blinked and turned to me. "Mom... are you bleeding?"
I froze, staring at the door for a moment as my mind frantically searched for another excuse. I looked at him. "J-Just a scratch, hon." I smiled. He started to say something, but I'd already slipped into the restroom, closing the door after me and sighing.
I loved Axel. I loved Axel more than I cherished my own life. But sometimes, his ability to know what I'm feeling even when I'm lying is just...conflicting.
I stood there with my back to the door for a long moment before sighing, walking up and turning the water on. The sound of the running water tuned out all the other noises in the house. But it wasn't those noises I was worried about.
"Need some help?" The man had offered. I jumped slightly and turned to him, taking a moment to realize the situation.
I tensed. "I-I've got it, thank you, though." I smiled before turning back and continuing to the house; my arms filled with paper grocery bags.
"You sure?" The man insisted, taking a quick glance around.
My pace quickened faintly. "Thanks, but like I said, I got it."
Suddenly, he was standing behind me; one arm wrapped around me from behind and the other covering my mouth. "You really shouldn't talk to strangers." He said with a grin, pulling me back as my bags dropped from my arms and onto the ground. I attempted to scream, but to no avail as he continued to drag me into the darkness of a cut of part of the forest.
I shook my head frantically, snapping myself out of it and slipping my coat off before climbing into the shower. The water ran over me, warming my freezing skin but burning my cuts and bruises. I stood there, my face apathetic as I stared at the shower floor. I watched as the blood washed away with the water, disappearing down the drain. I felt...nothing.
"Stop!"
"Stop it..." I whispered, running my hands up and grabbing fist-fulls of my hair.
"Please don't! No-!"
"Stop! Stop it!" I cried, my knees weakening as I dropped down; hugging my knees and sobbing.
There was a knock on the door. "Rayne?" A voice called.
My head jerked up, and I wiped her face frantically. I stood. "Y-Yes?" I cursed under my breath for stuttering.
I made the voice out as Val's, who paused for a moment before saying. "I've got some clothes here for you."
I looked around outside the curtain, remembering that I'd forgotten to get something to change into. I sighed, "H-Hold on..."
I turned the water off, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me before walking to the door, cracking it open slightly and reaching out. Val placed the folded clothes in my hand gently, and I quickly retracted it and closed the door. I stood there silently a moment, realizing just how paranoid I was. My eyes shifted down to the clothes in my hand. It was a night gown.
I cringed slightly, thinking about how I would be able to hide the cuts and bruises that haven't managed to heal yet. I looked down at myself, determining my chances before sighing and slipping into the gown. It fit, though I didn't remember ever buying it. He must have...
I glanced at the mirror, not being able to look at myself without feeling disgusted and wanting to burst into tears again. I towel dried my hair, avoiding my reflection. My thoughts had shifted to "Maybe if I just go straight to bed and hide under the covers, they won't suspect anything."
I looked down, hating myself for having to lie to them. I couldn't let them see me like this. I couldn't let them be in pain because of me.
I turned and opened the door, gasping and stepping back as I saw Val still standing out it.
He saw.
He saw the bruises covering my pale, fragile skin; trailing up my legs and disappearing beneath the night gown, only to reappear at my collar bones and trailing back down my arms. He saw the cuts on my hands from trying to fight my assailant off. He saw the redness of my eyes from trying to cry the pain away.
He saw it all.
I stood there, staring at him and starting to tremble again. He stared back, a mixture of hurt, sorrow, and shock in his eyes. My breathing quickened, not knowing what to do or say but starting to hyperventilate. He flashed forward, wrapping his arms gently yet comfortingly around me as my tears yet again escaped. I fell to my knees, bringing him down with me as I clung and sobbed into his shirt. He stroked my hair softly, yet his expression was stoic as I stared at the ground.
"Mom?" Axel said, walking up and stopping in the doorway. He surveyed the scene, taking in my bruises and my mess of tears. He didn't need to read my emotions to understand what was going on, and his eyes saddened. "Mom..."
The way he said it made me cry even harder, and I felt like there was no end to my sobs. I thought that eventually all the pain would just numb...
But mental wounds never heal.
Val had told me this, and it had lingered on my mind for reasons I didn't understand. It repeated in my head, and eventually, my sobs died down. I relaxed in his arms, listening to the soothing sound of his breathing and the feeling of his arms around me. I felt safe.
I felt...tired.
We continued to stay there, no one moving or speaking. My eyes were closed, and eventually everything just drifted away.
Everything just disappeared as I slowly slipped into a deep, silent sleep.