One by one
Friend by friend
Teammate by teammate
It was 3 long, earth shattering hours. 3 hours of hearing one teammate break down. Of hearing their sobs through the telephone. Of physically hearing their heart breaking within them. Of hearing the lost sound of their heavy breathing, finally soaking in the words.
The words that one of their own...stopped breathing.
That they would no longer hear her voice.
Or see her blue eyes
Or her curly hair
Or her blinding smile
Ever. Again.
Within 3 hours, anyone and everyone who had ever been on the Womens National team with Lauren Holiday, had been given 2 words that could rip them to pieces within seconds.
"Laurens gone."
And it was every single teammate that came together to hold one another up. To stay strong.
For someone that was the heart of the team.
For someone that was so much more than a friend. But a family member. A sister.
A sister that will never be replaced.
And one bye one
They came face to face with each other in the heart of laurens hometown.
In the heart of her church she grew up going to.
They came red eyed to red eyed to say goodbye to one of the best persons they've ever known.
With her open casket at the front of the church,
One by one
They said their final goodbyes before they would no longer be alone. And this church would be filled with grieving people. And saddened faces.
Teary eyed and sorrow filling their faces, the team respectively took their seats in the first 4 rows of the church. Holding eachothers hands, uniting one another to remember the life of a sister.
It quickly filled and soon the pastor began.
Some blocked him out
Some listened intently to what he had to say
And others looked lost
Amy and tobin were two people chosen by laurens parents to speak...but only if they wanted to. After a little bit of thinking they both had agreed to share their best moments of their fellow New Kid.
Amy was one to block the pastor out, until he had called for her to come up on stage to the microphone.
Slowly, but surely, she made her way up, but not before going by lauren again and placing a gentle kiss on the already closed casket.
As she finally made it to the microphone, she sent a look to tobin, who reassured her she'll be okay, and to continue on.
"L-lauren holiday just wasnt my teammate. She was my non-biological sister. She was my sons godmother. She was my better half...or should i say third, because tobins also apart of that third," everyone let out a light chuckle at her joke, "but in all honesty, lauren was more of a second mom than a sister. She was someone who was there when you needed her most, when you werent sure about something, when you needed advice about a boy, or simply when you just needed someone to talk to. She never failed to listen, and if she did its because she was giving you input on the situation, wether it be on the pitch or sitting on the couch. She was always there for people when they needed her.
"She brightened up a room when she walked in...and its not just because of her super white teeth," she stopped as she and the rest of the people laughed. "She had the demeanor to put someone in a good mood just by looking at them. She has changed every life shes ever touched, a different way to every person. Theres nothing i can say to explaing how great of a person she is. There just isnt. But there is one thing i can say.
"Lauren Nicole Cheney Holiday...theres not a doubt in my mind that i wont be broken without you. But you have given me 7 years of adventure into our friendship, 7 years i wouldnt trade for the world, i am so so so so thankful god gave me the gift of you. Because without you, or tobin, i dont know who i would be today. So lauren, please guide me through life, like you have these past 7 years, because without you, im lost. And i dont want to be lost without you." Tears begin falling as amy slowly starts to break down. "You're my best friend Lauren Nicole, and i'll love you until the light runs out."
And with that, Amy steps down from the podium, pulling a now standing tobin into a tight hug, letting her shoulder soak in all the tears that were shed.
Tobin guides amy back to her seat, next to alex who is quick to wrap amy into a hug, whispering words of comfort into her ear.
And before tobin knows it, shes standing in the same spot amy was 30 seconds ago. Not quite sure how to start her speech, or even what to say.
"Uh, hmmm," she stops, trying to think of the best thing to say.
"Lauren...she wasnt just your average girl from a town in Indiana. She was something way more than that. Something i cant quite put into words." Tobin stops, letting out a deep breath, trying to keep it all in.
"The day i saw cheney in the hospital, i ran down to the chapel they have there, just to speak to our favorite guy. God. I needed guidance throughout this whole situation. She's just never looked so, so...lost before. When i saw her laying in that bed, she looked lost, and she never does. She's always the person to know what her next step is. She's the person you go to for guidance, and in that moment i couldnt go to her for that. And it almost completely shattered me.
"So i went to talk to God, asking him to make sure laurens safe, to make sure she comes out of this situation safe and pain free. And thats what he did. Because she's safe now upstairs with Him. He's keeping her safe from all the harm this world has to offer. I know some of you are wanting her to stay down here. Trust me, i do too, more than ever. But we can't be selfish, not when she was like that. She was hurting, pain radiating throughout her. And God took that away, just like i had asked Him too.
"Sacrifices in life aren't the easiest thing ever. Nor do we like making them. But the day lauren stopped breathing, we, 2/3 of the New Kids, made a sacrifice to let go of the closest thing we have to our hearts so that she could be pain free. And while i absolutely hate sacrifices, im glad i made that one. Because even though a world without Lauren Holiday totally sucks, she's happy with Him. And all ive ever wanted for the people i love is to be happy. And if she's happy, then im happy.
"I love you Cheney, and i'll see you again someday." Tobin walked by lauren once again, giving the casket top a couple pats before heading on over inbetween alex and amy, who had calmed down a little since halfway through tobins speech.
The rest of the service went by fairly quickly, and all that was left was the burial.
As teammates, they all piled into cars together, headed for the cemetary where their teammate will then lie forever.
They all gather around the burial sight as the pallbearers carried her casket from the hearse to the burial vault.
Flowers were placed, along with some ripped out pages of a bible, containing laurens favorite verses. The last thing placed on the casket, something near and dear to the 25+ women standing off to the side of the her.
The #12 jersey that Lauren had worn for the past 7 years. Only this time...it was her 'Cheney' jersey. The very first one she was ever given. With a little addition of the 3rd star added on, making it known that she will forever be a world champion in the eyes of her sisters.
As the pastor pressed the button, lowering her into the ground, it didnt go unnoticed the sound of sobs being let out. It didnt go unnoticed that her teammates had said their final goodbyes. And it didnt go unnoticed that her two bestfriends, had finally let out everything they had been holding in.
As tobin grabbed onto amy for dear life, thinking her knees could give out at any moment, she let out every emotion she could into the sobs that had began to consume her broken body.
And amy did the same.
And as everyone started to file out of the cemetary, those were the two left sitting infront of their bestfriend. Watching as shovel by shovel, their friend was put into the ground forever. Never letting go of eachothers embrace and never leaving eachothers side.
They would stay like this for quite some time. Until lauren was completely covered. And they had said their final goodbyes for what would seem like eternity.
And one by one
Friend by friend
Teammate by teammate
They would all slowly manage to get back to their hotel rooms, one across from another. Before silently breaking down into violent sobs as they had finally let themselves crack.
___________________________
5 stages of grief-
1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
And
5) Acceptance
But all of them knew that 5 was not in the near future, nor did any of them think it would ever happen.