It was the night before Christmas Eve and it looked like I'd be spending it alone - accompanied by my soft footie pyjamas, an immense amount of junk food, and an empty hole in my heart. That may sound over dramatic but it's how I genuinely felt. It seemed like my entire world was crumbling around me.
Here's the weird bit: I didn't know why I was feeling this way.
I was already over Jodie and her crazy cat collection, so why did it feel like an empty void had made a home in my heart? I couldn't understand it. It played on my mind all of that long pre-Christmas Eve. Most of my time was taken up by skulking on the couch and generally feeling sorry for myself. Everyone else in the flat was full of beans, rushing around and keeping themselves busy. Even little Serenity was helping with Christmas preparations.
I watched her and George hang all the new decorations (bought by Paul the day before) on the already overflowing tree. George held Serenity as she tried to place a glittery fairy doll on one of the branches. She seemed more interested in playing with the doll, making it fly through the air like a little bomber jet.
"No, Serenity," said George. "Hang the dolly on the tree, please."
Serenity completely ignored him and carried on playing with the fairy.
"Serenity, please do as you're told," George said sharply.
"No!" Serenity retorted, clutching the fairy doll close to her chest. "My dolly!"
"She's a decoration, not a toy." George then tried to take the fairy away from Serenity. She began shrieking and flailing her arms like a beached octopus. I watched with amusement.
"She's not going to give up, Geo," I called from the couch. "You'd better leave her alone and let her play with that fairy doll."
George glared at me. "Hey, she's my daughter. She answers to me, thanks very much."
"Doesn't look like it," I commented, nodding pointedly at Serenity, who was still yelling.
"Yeah, well, she's overtired. She didn't have a sleep this morning."
I nodded just to humour him. "Sure, sure."
"Look, John," George said, slinging a grizzly Serenity over his shoulder and walking over to me. "What's with you? You've been awfully... exasperating lately."
I shrugged. "Have I been exasperating?"
"Let me see," George said, pretending to think. "Oh, yes! I remember! You told Ringo his Christmas cookies tasted like dog mess. You made Paul cry by telling him his new jumper made him look fat. Now you're telling me how to raise my daughter!"
"That's what you call exasperating?" I said flatly.
"Honestly, Johnny, if you're going to be a pain, then why don't you go and do it somewhere else?"
I frowned at him. "Stop acting like such a father figure," I snapped.
"Can't help it," George retorted. "I am a father, and I'm a hell of a lot more mature than you'll ever be. You can just push off and peddle your insults somewhere else."
"Fine," I said, getting to my feet. "I will!"
"Fine! Go!"
I stuck my finger up at George and stormed out of the flat, slamming the door behind me. I heard something land with a thud and a crash from inside. Paul started screaming and swearing, so a picture must have fallen off the wall and broken into a million pieces. I couldn't be bothered with anything trivial like that.
"Stupid George," I muttered as a stomped down the corridor. "Thinking he can boss me around like that just because he's a dad. I'm older than him! I'm the leader of this group, so I call the shots, not him!"
I got to the place where the corridor ends and the stairs leading down to the first floor begin. I sat myself down on the top stair and sulked. As I sat there, my mind began to wander. I thought about the odd lonely feeling I had been experiencing, wondering what on earth had gotten into me. Every time I tried to figure out the root cause, one thing came to mind almost immediately.
Jodie.
Could it be possible that I was missing her?
I had convinced myself that she wasn't the right girl for me, but that didn't stop me from thinking about her. She had the prettiest eyes; the silkiest hair; a funny, tinkly little laugh, and when she spoke she always had something interesting to say. Sometimes I wondered what made me leave her.
I'd broken up with Jodie several days prior. I told her the news in the worst way possible: over the phone. It would have been too hard and heavy telling her in person, so phoning her was my only other option. She took it remarkably well, but I could tell she was upset about it. Her voice went awfully thick and muffled, as if she had been trying to restrain her tears from spilling.
I felt terrible for a long time afterwards, but what else could I do?
I stayed sitting there on the stair for about half an hour, wallowing in my self pity and loneliness. I slowly began to convince myself that I would remain alone forever; single for all eternity. It wasn't like the perfect girl was going to trip right over me.
Then, suddenly, a girl tripped over me.
She looked worried and asked if she'd hurt me. I shook my head, although she did a bit. I think I got a bruise on my bottom where she accidentally kicked me. (I couldn't be sure though because I never have a proper look at my bottom. It's too depressing.)
I glanced up at this girl and took a proper look at her. She was tall for a young girl, about 5'8". She was skinny and had very pale skin, big haze eyes outlined with thick eyelashes, and long black hair. Her forehead was creased up with worry.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" she asked, even though she had already asked that question.
"I'm okay, darling," I replied airily. "Don't look so worried."
"I'm so sorry," she said limply, then she stared at me. "Why are you looking so sad?"
"Sad?" I repeated.
"You've got tear stains on your cheeks," she said, pointing.
I felt my face and realized she was right. I hadn't even known I was crying. I quickly wiped my tears away, feeling a fool. The girl didn't jeer at me and continue on her way down the staircase. She sat down beside me and started chatting to me in a friendly manner.
"My name is Esbeidy Estrada," she began, smiling a little as she said her name.
"Esbeidy?" I tried the name out several times in my head. "That's a lovely name."
She blushed and tilted her head until her long, raven black hair covered her crimson face like a curtain. "Thank you," she said softly. "What's your name?"
"John," I replied.
"All right, John," Esbeidy giggled, "why do you look so miserable?"
I sighed deeply, wondering where to start. I began to tell her about what had happened between me and Jodie. I assumed Esbeidy would start fidgeting after a sentence or two, but she stayed sitting beside me, hanging on my every word. When I concluded my story she seemed genuinely affected, clasping her hands together and biting her lip.
"I'm so sorry that your relationship didn't work out," she whispered.
"It's all right, really," I said, acting like I wasn't too bothered by it.
"Are you sure? Break ups are a terrible thing to go through."
"I'm a big boy. I'm sure I'll survive."
Esbeidy laughed; she had such a beautiful laugh, like a little chiming bell. It felt good knowing that I'd made someone else happy even though I felt terrible. I took a moment to look at Esbeidy again and examine her properly. There was something special about her lovely long hair and glittery hazel eyes. I didn't know what it was, but I felt different. My heart didn't feel as heavy as it had been before.
"Esbeidy?" I said.
"Yes?"
"Where do live?"
"I live just over there." Esbeidy gestured further down the hall. "I'm at number 69."
"Really? I live at number 64!"
Esbeidy laughed again. "I guess that makes us neighbours."
"I guess it does." I paused for a moment. I was dying to ask Esbeidy a question but wondered if it would be terribly tactless to do so. We'd only just met, after all. After mulling it over for several seconds, I took my courage in both hands and spoke.
"Esbeidy... I think you're an extremely attractive woman."
Her cheeks inflamed once again. "Thank you, John."
"I know we've only just met, and I've only just broken up with my girlfriend, but..." I paused to catch my breath. It had been such a long time since I'd asked a complete stranger out on a date, and I was terrified I might start hyperventilating if I wasn't careful.
"But what?" Esbeidy said.
"But... But I find you incredibly beautiful and friendly, so... would you go out with me?"
I shut my eyes and waited for her to reject me in disgust. She seemed too well-bred of a girl to accept a date proposal from a man she found sobbing on the stairs. Any sane woman would have got up and gone on her way downstairs. Esbeidy didn't. She simply smiled and slipped her hand into mine.
"Sure," she murmured. "I'd love to."
I grinned broadly. "Thank you."
"No problem."
"Oh, I still have one other question to ask you."
Esbeidy raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"You don't happen to have any cats, do you?" I asked cautiously.
Esbeidy shook her head. "No. Why?"
I smiled slyly. "No reason."