A/N: As you know my stories all have happy ending, but this one kind of has a bitter sweet ending. This is an Mortal Instruments and Twilight X-Over. Edward and Bella are NOT together in this one because Edward is the bad boy of the school so to speak and a total A-hole along with his best friends Jasper Hale, Emmett McCarty, and Jace Wayland. Which means that Rosalie, Alice, and Clary are not with them either. Good? OK! I hope you enjoy and give me your thoughts at the bottom!
** I OWN NOTHING! **
BPOV
My knee bounced nervously as I sat in the waiting room by myself. It was Friday and I had been anxiously awaiting this doctor’s appointment all week. I had been sick with worry. Ever since the last visit here when Dr. Cullen told me that something was wrong with my blood cells I couldn’t stop thinking about all the stuff that could be wrong with me. Dr. Cullen, or Carlisle as I called him, tried to assure me that it could be something simple, but I didn’t believe him.
Ever since I fell that day at the house when Charlie was at work I haven’t been the same. I found a bruise on my hip from where it struck the floor and it just won’t go away. Even after a month; it still remains. Ever since that day they have been appearing on my body out of no where. When I first found them I brushed them off. Telling myself that they were probably just coming in late after I tripped or something.
I was in denial though. I knew I was. But I didn’t want to face the possibility that it could be something worse. But right now, as I sat in this chair, I knew it was about to hit me head on and if I don’t swerve I wouldn’t be able to survive it.
“Bella?” I looked up to see a nurse dressed in pink scrubs smiling at me.
“You can come back now.” I nodded and gathered my thing before following her into a small room with a long counter and an ugly colored bed that I sat down on. She left the room leaving me with the promise that Dr. Cullen would be in soon. I couldn’t help wishing that he would get lost.
Just my bad luck, Dr. Cullen entered the room in a flourish and found his seat before he turned to me.
“Bella. How are you?” He asked with a forced smile, but I knew he wanted to cry. This man was not the father of my best friend, Alice, or the calm man who saved lives on a daily basis. This was a torn man, a man who looked like he was about to cry, and I wanted to run far, far away.
“Spit it out Carlisle.” I told him, focusing my gaze on the paper he held. He sighed and ran a hand over his face and I saw a single tear run down his face and my fears were confirmed.
“I’m so sorry Bella.” He looked up and met my eyes and I wanted to cry right then and there. “You have cancer. The cancer has gotten to bad. If only we could have only caught it earlier.” He trailed off and I knew that there was more.
“You’re terminal Bella.” He choked out before burying his face in his hands and letting some more tears run free.
Terminal…
Terminal…
Terminal…
The word resounded through my mind. I knew what it meant. The cancer had spread to far and they couldn’t stop it. They couldn’t saved me.
“How long?” I whispered.
“Six months at the most. Maybe more if we start Chemotherapy.” He whispered back and I looked up at him. As soon as he met my eyes I broke. He wanted to save me, but this was out of his hands. This was out of everybody’s hands. He jerked me into a hug and I collapsed into him as I cried.
I cried for Charlie not having anybody. I cried my all my friends. I cried for my mom and Phil, but mostly I cried for my life. For all the experiences I would never have. My first boyfriend, my first true love, my wedding, my honeymoon, pregnancy, holding my baby girl or boy for the first time in my and feeling the love only a mother could. Not growing old like it was supposed to be. And I as Carlisle held me in that small room I knew that this would only be a little of the tears I would cry.
- X-X-X-
The weekend went by slowly. I was glad the Charlie had a fishing trip this weekend because I needed time for myself to come to terms with my sickness. I cried for a long time curled up in my bed and just let my tears flow. Who would take care of Charlie? He had been alone for so long. He deserved happiness, he deserved his happily ever after. I would make sure that he was happy before I died. He had done so much for me and I don’t think I tell him enough how much I appreciate him and how much I love him because I do. I would let him know.
I thought about Rose, Alice, and Clary. My four best friends in the whole wide world. Ever since my first day at Forks High when Alice came up to me and declared that I would sit with her and her friends at lunch we have been inseparable. Even now, with our senior year starting, I knew that high school would not separate us. Our bond was stronger than that. We were so different yet so much alike.
Rosalie with her supermodel body, blonde hair, and ice blue eyes; she was a force to be reckoned with.
Alice with her pixie- like body, short black cropped hair, and hazel eyes; she could go on longer than a person who had drunk three red bulls and that is saying something.
Then Clary. Red hair, green eyes, and a short height of 5’0 she didn’t take crap from no one and wasn’t afraid to put anyone in their place which is probably why no one messes with her.
We could go to each other than anything and even though it hurt so bad it nearly made it hard to breath, I had to leave them knowing the where happy. I had to make sure that they knew I love them and that I would always be with them even if they couldn’t see me.
I had come to terms. I wasn’t afraid of dying. I was afraid of leaving everything I had here. It would be OK in the end. I would make sure. Everyone would hurt, and grieve, but they would learn to move on because that was there only option.
-X-X-X-
I waited in the kitchen for Charlie on Sunday night. I would tell him first because he deserved to be first. He walked through the door, smiling happily as he sat down his fishing gear and hung up his jacket and I smiled too. Because I wanted him to always stay this way. Happy. He came over and took a seat across me at the small kitchen table.
“Hey Bell.” I forced a smile at him and waiting until he was comfortable before I started talking.
“I need to tell you something Dad and I want you to listen to all of it before speaking, OK?” He nodded and I sucked in a deep breath because I knew it was going to kill him to hear this but he needed too.
“Bruises have been appearing all over my body since I fell last month. I brushed it off at first, ya know? Saying they were appearing from a past fall. I was wrong though Dad. I went to Carlisle Friday for a doctors appointment and the results of my blood test came back. God… there’s no easy way to say this… I have cancer Dad. Carlisle says I’m terminal and if they would have caught it earlier they would have been a chance of saving me, but the cancer has already spread to far. I have six months at the most. Maybe more than that if I start chemotherapy.”
I let my hands fall in my hands as I broke down again. I couldn’t force myself to look at him. I felt his arms come around me even though I hadn’t heard him move and I cried harder because he was trying to comfort me.
“We’ll get through this. I swear Bella, you’ll be OK. As long as you do you’re therapy you will be fine.” I pulled back and looked at his tear streaked face, but I forced the words out of my mouth anyway.
“I’m not doing the chemotherapy.” I told him and he looked like he had been slapped.
“Why Bella? It could save you..” He rambled on but I put my hand over his mouth.
“I’m terminal Dad. There is no saving me and I don’t want to be in pain anymore than I have to. Please, I know it will be OK. You’ll learn to move on.” I told him and he hugged me back to him.
“I can’t lose you Bella. You’re my baby girl. What am I going to do without you?” He whispered. I didn’t say anything back because I couldn’t answer his question. Only he could.
-X-X-X-
“What is it that you wanted to tell us?” Alice asked. School had just been let out and only Alice, Rosalie, Clary and I remained expect for janitors and some teachers. I was so tried that I couldn’t find the strength to lift myself from the spot in front of my locker so I was forced to spill the beans right here. I looked around at their smiling faces and I almost chickened out. They had to hear this though.
“Promise me you won’t say anything until I’m done?” They all nodded, looking confused. I gazed at the walls in front of me as I couldn’t look at their faces.
“Last Friday I went to see Carlisle for my blood test results as you guys know. I have cancer you guys. Carlisle said I am terminal and even if we started the chemotherapy now that I would only have a little more than six months.” I left out all the parts about the bruises because they didn’t need to hear that part. It would only hurt them more.
Alice was the first to speak. “Oh God Bella. If I would have known I would have been there more.. I would have… I… “ She trailed off as she curled her knees to her chest and I saw her shoulders shaking from the sobs. Clary wrapped her arms around her in an effort to comfort her.
“When do you start chemotherapy.” Clary’s voice cracked and she swallowed thickly against her tears. I shook my head.
“I don’t.” The time it was Rosalie who spoke first.
“What do you mean you’re not starting the therapy? It could help you! You could stay with us longer.” Rose had tears in her eyes but they hadn’t fell yet.
“I have accepted my sickness Rose and I don’t want to be in pain any longer than I have too. Besides, I know that it will hurt when I go, but you’ll be OK. You all will.” They didn’t believe it know, but I knew they would. They were strong; all of them.
“We can’t lose you Bells. Your our best friend. What will we do with out you?” Alice asked me. I smiled gently at her as she held onto to Rose for dear life.
“You cry, you grieve, and then you move on because no matter where you are I will always be in here.” I placed my hand over my heart. “And whenever you miss me you just bow your head and talk to me and I’ll be listening to you. Even if you can’t see me Ali I’m here, I’m here.” And it was true. They just didn’t see it yet but they will. I’ll make sure of it.
“Bella…” Rose opened her mouth but then shut it, seeming at loss for words and I couldn’t agree more. This was not the time for words. So instead of speaking she leaned forward and hugged and soon enough I felt Ali and Clary pile on top of us. We all sat there and I let them cry all around me and let it out. I even shed some tears of my own but not for me, but for them because we all were hurting. Just for different reasons.
We all calmed down eventually and wiped our eyes. Standing up we all grabbed our stuff. We stood there in a circle we all looked at each other; red eyes, snotty noses and all when we heard a commotion around the corner. Spinning around I saw the four most biggest annoyances I ever met come around the corner, pushing and shoving each other along the way. They all stopped as soon as they spotted us.
Emmett smirked at us and I knew he was about to say something. “Who died?” Oh the irony. Clary choked back a sob and sprinted down the hallway and pushed past them before running out the door. Rosalie just shook her head and walked away and seconds later Alice did they same. I didn’t move as I watched with an amused face as all they boys slapped and hit Emmett on the head or on the shoulder and he glared at them. These boys had it bad. Although I admit that they were dang good at hiding their feelings. The girls didn’t suspect a thing. Of course, I am not the girls. They weren’t going to get off so easy from me. It was time for them to man up and do something about it.
“What’d do that for?” Jace yelled slapping him in the back of the head. Emmett scowled at him.
“Do what? I only asked a question!” Emmett defended himself and I covered my mouth to hide my laughter which felt strange because it had been so long since I could just laugh.
“Well obviously Clary took it personally you idiot! You made her cry!” Jace glared back at Emmett looking protective of Clary. Oh man! He has got it worse than I thought!
“Alice looked like she was about to cry to! Don’t you even have a filter?! It was clear that they had already been crying when came around the corner!” Jasper sided with Jace and gave Emmett a good punch in the shoulder. Edward rolled his eyes at the three boys. To tell you the truth I had always had a little crush on Edward but he would never go for a girl like me. So I just settled from admiring from a distance.
I cleared my throat and they all looked at. They looked shocked as if they forgot I was there. Which, knowing them, they probably did.
“Oh… hi there Bella… forgot you where there..” Jasper rubbed the back of his neck nervously and I smirked. Who would have ever that Jasper would be nervous about something.
“Don’t worry guys. You’re secret safe with me.” I told them assuredly. They all looked at me with wide eyes. I rolled my eyes at them. Sometimes they were just plain stupid even though I knew they were smart.
“What secret?” Edward asked me, looking nervous although he had no reason to be. It wasn’t his secret. Jace, Jasper, and Emmett are the ones that should be nervous.
“About you guys liking Clary, Alice, and Rose.” Their mouths dropped open and closed like a fish‘s.
“Oh please! You guys are so obvious!” This time their mouth snapped shut. When they didn’t say anything I went on talking. “It is time you guys grew a pair and told them how you feel. Ask them on a date, buy them some flowers. They aren’t going to wait on you forever! You have got to step up to the plate.” I told them and I tried to control my heavy breathing. I brought my elbow up around my mouth and coughed uncontrollably for a few seconds before I lowered it back down.
Worse everyday I thought to myself. I looked back at the idiots in front of me and they all looked a little shocked at my outburst and to be honest I was too. I am normally a very quiet person and tend to stay away from the spotlight. Times have changed though.
“Don’t worry! I’ll help you though! I know everything about them!” I informed them with a bright smile and they all smiled a little back.
“Valentines day is in two weeks. That is the perfect time to ask them on a date. I need to you to go get some chocolates and one of those big teddy bears that they sell at Wal-Mart. I am going to get y’all together if it is the last thing I do! Jace, Clary likes chocolate covered cherries. Emmett, Rosalie like strawberries with white chocolate and Jasper, Alice likes strawberries with milk chocolate. Don’t let me down boys!”
With those final words I bustled down the hallway and out the door as fast as I could. As soon I got into my truck I collapsed into the seat, catching my breath. I managed to make it home and up to my room without any accidents. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a light.
-X-X-X-
VALENTINES DAY
I groaned as my alarm went off, but got out of bed when I caught sight of the date beside the digital numbers that red 6:00 P.M. and started gathering my clothes for today; Valentine’s Day. Deciding that this was a special day I decided to dress-up a little with some of the dresses that Rose and Alice bought me in one of their shopping sprees. Looking through my closet I picked out a navy blue summer dress with white flowers on it that stopped a little above me knees and flowed around lightly. I paired it some white sandals that Rose told me were called gladiator sandals. Finally I found a white cardigan that stopped below my boobs and went a few inches over my shoulders. Nodded my head at my clothing choice I carefully laid it out on my bed with some undergarments so that they didn’t wrinkled while I took a shower.
Grabbing my white bag of toiletries off my desk I walked across the hall to the bathroom I shared with Charlie and immediately turned the water to as hot as I could stand it and jumped in, making sure I was squeaky clean. I wanted this day to go perfect. Grabbing my strawberry shampoo I poured out a generous amount of it into my hand and washed and conditioned my hair thoroughly before moving onto shaving and lathering myself up with my body wash. Once I was done cleaning myself I just stood under the water and looked at the two new bruises that had appeared on my midsection. I traced a finger over them gently. They didn’t hurt. They were really just annoying me because they reminded me constantly of what was coming. Even though I always thought about it almost all the time sometimes I can make myself forget; even for a little while. Then I see a bruise and it all comes flooding back.
Sighing and frowning at the same time I shut off the water and climbed our carefully so I wouldn’t trip or fall because, really, I didn’t need another bruise.
I checked the time on the clock to make sure I wasn’t running late and I wasn’t. So I took my time getting ready. After toweling myself off and putting on my clothes I had picked out; five minutes later I found myself back in the bathroom staring at my reflection and after brushing everything off my teeth I went on to put on some makeup. I kept it light because I didn’t want to look like some of those overdone hussies at school. Just some eye shadow to match my dress, mascara, and some lip gloss and opted to not put on blush since I was covered in that department.
When I was done I was pleasantly surprised that I had some time to spend with Charlie before he went to work. With that, I grabbed my bag and walked downstairs heading straight into the kitchen where Charlie was drinking some coffee and reading the newspaper.
“Hi daddy!” I chirped, bouncing over to give him a kiss on the cheek and a hug before hunting down some pop tarts. He smiled his crinkly eyed grin at me.
“Hey Bell! Why are you so dressed up today?” I was so proud of Charlie. He has come so far since that night I told him about my cancer. Although he was out of it for the next week. He wouldn’t talk, couldn’t look at me some days and I had to force him to eat. Even though it broke my heart to see him like I knew that he would work through it at his own pace and not mine. He was better now. Not quite the same Charlie he was before but still Charlie.
I shrugged at him and gave him a smile. “Today Valentine’s Day! This is a very special day! I have a feeling about it!” I winked at him and I saw him blush a bit but I didn’t push him on it. I would find out though. You can count on that. I shoved the rest of the pop tart down I screamed a goodbye to Charlie as I saw what time it was before running out to my truck and gunning it all the way to school. I had to met Jace and the rest of the guys before the girls got there.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I pulled into the parking lot to find it almost empty and that none of the girls had showed up yet. Quickly parking my truck I grabbed all my stuff before going and hunting down the boys. I found them where we agreed to meet; in a deserted hallway away from everything so no one would see us meeting and tell Rose, Alice, or Clary about it. This had to be a surprise.
When I got there I found them armed with three huge teddy bears and the candy I requested. Jace’s bear was light brown and was almost as big as Clary. Jasper’s bear was the dark brown and Emmett’s was more of a golden brown. I smiled at them because they came through for me.
“Great job you guys!” I praised them. They grinned at me, obviously pleased with my enthusiasm.
“We all have the first period so I want you to give it to Mr. Pezold and he’ll give it to the girls and won’t tell them who it is from.” They all nodded and scampered off to do as I said while I walked to my locker and began getting out all the books I needed. After that was done I made my way to first period and sat down in my seat, letting out a sigh of relief as I did so. I was already getting weak and the day hadn’t even started.
Clary, Alice, and Rose walked in a few minutes after me.
“Hi girlies!” I greeted and they smiled at me.
“Hey Bella! You look nice today!” Alice complimented me. As if one cue I turned a little pink.
“Well today is going to be a special day so I wanted to dress up!” They all looked at me confusedly.
“Valentines Day is today.” I told them and they all let out a breath. Clary checked her phone and her eyebrows shot up so far I thought they had left her face.
“Wow! It is! I guess I have been out of it lately.” Clary mumbled.
“Don’t worry,” I patted her shoulders “we all have.” She gave me a small smile before turning back around.
The teacher walked in and the classroom fell quiet. I beat back my laughter when he sent small wink my way.
“OK class! Today is a very special day and it seems like someone, or many someone’s, are thought about on this day. That being said…” He trailed off as he went to the closet and pulled out the bears and candy. Kicking the door closed with his foot he brought all of it over to the girls who were watching with wide, shocked eyes.
He deposited all the bears to the correct girls and gave them their candy before going back to the front and beginning class. Class flew by as I watched the various expressions that flitted across the girls faces. The bell rang and we all walked out into the hallway. I carried Clary’s stuff because she had to focus on the huge bear that she was currently holding. It was a good thing that I didn’t have any more classes with them or they would have surely asked why I couldn’t stop grinning the whole freaking day.
As I watched from the spot against my truck across the lot as they boys asked the girls out and watched their lips as they said, ’Yes’ I knew that I did the right thing. They were going to end up together anyway. I was just moving things along. Because you can’t fight your destiny. You can only embrace it. No matter what.
-X-X-X-
6 MONTHS LATER
I walked into the hospital slowly; coughing and gasping for little breaths. I knew this was it; my last day. I wouldn’t last past midnight. Don’t ask me how I know. You just… know. Everybody was waiting for me in the waiting room. Charlie, my mom, Phil, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Edward, Emmett, Rose, Clary, and Jace. The were all coupled up thanks to me. Clary and Jace, Emmett and Rose, and Alice and Jasper as they all held hands and stood by their partners with solemn looks on their faces. They knew why their were here. To pay their final respects.
Everyone all looked up at me as I entered. I gave them a weak smile but none of their faces even twitched.
“I know this is hard,” I started “but you going to survive. I know you will because you are all so strong. I know that I am young but that is OK because I got a long life. Some people don’t even get to live their through their first day. I got lucky even though I know you don’t see it that. I want you all to know that I will always be with you even though you can’t see me and when you want to talk you just bow you head and call my name and I’ll be there because I’ll always be in your hearts.”
I stopped and looked my three best friend who were breaking down in their boyfriend’s arms. I walked closer to them and got them to look at me. “Get married, fall in love, have a wedding, go to college, and chase your dreams like there is no tomorrow because life doesn’t wait and when you get where I am I want you to tell me all about it.” Tears were running down my face and my breath was coming in shorter, but I couldn’t stop talking. I had to say everything I need too.
“If you ever need to talk you just say my name and I’ll be there. Because the most real things on earth is the things we can’t say.”
I stopped and turned my head to where Carlisle was standing by the doors waiting for me.
“When I walk through those doors I won’t be coming back out. That’s okay though because I finally be at peace. At peace with myself and you guys will be at peace too. Remember me as the happy person who was a total book nerd and who couldn’t walk across a flat surface to save her life. Remember that way. You’ll all cry and grieve in your way and that’s OK for a little while, but you need to move on and do all the things I never got a chance to do. Because when you all get to Heaven I want to hear everything. I love all of you. Please, never forget that.”
Those were my last words before I turned and walked to where Carlisle stood. He looked down at me and began to speak; his voice and face filled with tears.
“You are my daughter in every sense of the word. You’ll always be in my heart and when we met again it will be as if nothing has change.” I nodded and smiled because I believed him. Every word single word her said. Carlisle scanned his badge and the doors swung open. He lead me down two hallways and into a solid white room. The only piece of furniture being a small white bed. I walked over and laid flat on my back and got comfortable.
Carlisle walked over and gave me a kiss and told me he loved before walking away for the final time, dimming the light before he left, shutting the door behind him.
I lay there quietly. The only noise in the room being my shallow breathing and coughs. I don’t know how long I laid there but finally my heart slowed and as it pumped its last time and my eyes closed one final time I felt complete peace and I closed my eyes contentedly as I felt my body still only to move no more.
-X-X-X-
CPOV (Carlisle)
I leaned my back against the door and slid down to the floor as my shoulders shudder from my sobs. She was gone. Bella, the girl who was just as much as my daughter as Alice, had just died in the room behind me. I felt sick to my stomach. I should have fought her on it. I should have tried to talk of her out of it, but I didn’t. I didn’t do anything but let it happen.
I could have kept her here with us for a little while longer, but she didn’t want to suffer and I can accept that. She will be missed dearly. By everyone. Taking deep breaths I was able to pull myself together and walked back into where everyone stood. They all looked at me for the conformation they all needed. That she was gone. I shook my head as a new wave of tears came over me. Esme rushed over to me and we clung to each other as we both cried over the loss of our daughter.
As I looked around and watched everyone grieve over the loss of the daughter and beloved friend I knew it would take a long time for us to heal, but as Bella said, we would and we would move on because that is what she would have wanted.
But even though we would move on I knew deep down in my heart that nobody that stood in this room would ever be the same again. Because on someone last day something shifts in your life as you realize that you can never hear that person laugh, see them smile, or hear them talk ever again you are at a loss. You know they are not suffering any more, but you still want them here with you.
I looked back at the double doors that lead to where Bella lay and felt a surge of hope in my heart. Even though she was gone I could picture her in my mind and suddenly she didn’t feel so far away.
I guess that is all you can do one a loved one’s last day is imagine and keep telling yourself that you will see them again. Maybe it won’t be today, or tomorrow, or even in the next five years, but there is one word the echoes in your mind that keeps your hope alive. As it echoes in mine I feel my hope rise again.
I glanced at the doors again.
Someday, Someday.
A/N: Was it horrible? Too wordy for you? Not sad enough? Because I shed a few tears while writing this because I was playing it all out in my mind. Please tell me your thoughts… I would love to hear them!