You must have fallen asleep, your small little nook having allowed you that much. A nightmare assaulted your senses, the darkness of the room and the clattering of iron shackles. The rank and tart scent of blood bit your nose and coated your mouth. But his familiar voice, soothing and gentle as it was, woke you. Your heart leapt into your throat, a sharp pain in your chest as fear overwhelmed you, a need to escape. You growled, instinct taking over as you threw your hands out like claws.
He snapped hold of your wrist, loosening his grip as you fluttered open your eyes. Your anger melted when you saw his sorrow, the dark hues of amber and gold, the gentleness that adorned his eyes. A calmness settled itself inside of you, soothing and relaxing. He had no need to harm you. He hadn't shown you even an ounce of anger. He was gentle. He was good.
Shay let go of your wrist, his hand falling away. "What're you doing sleeping on the floor, lass? I know my bed's not the best I've ever slept on but..." He stood up and waltzed over towards the centered table in the room. "Certainly much softer than a wall." Shay lifted up a wooden plate with food stacked upon it. "I know you're hungry. I doubt that smug bastard fed you much. You're too bony for him to have done that much."
He made his way back over with the plate, kneeling down some distance away. "Come on, now. Out of the corner." He set the plate onto the floor, thickly sliced meats and a chunk of bread gathered onto it.
You eyed the plate for a moment, eyed your jailor, before slowly crawling towards it. You grabbed a slice of meat, hesitating to bring it to your mouth. You still weren't certain how your new keeper would react to your behaviors. What mannerisms did he expect? Were you supposed to thank him in some way? Were you supposed to beg his forgiveness for taking some of his supplies? Your last master would have demanded such.
He released a heavy breath. "When we get to Boston, we can find you some better clothes than that." He sat down and scooted until his back could lean into the leg of a table. "Won't you talk to me, lass? Surely you know how to speak."
You knew how, although it had been a great deal of time since you'd done so. You weren't even sure what your voice sounded like anymore. And what words could you possibly offer him? What words would console your master? What did he even want to hear?
He watched you nibble upon the meat, a brow rising. "Good, is it?"
Of course it was. Wasn't it obvious? Why else would you have eaten it? Why did he care if it tasted good to you? You were a slave... You were a pet...
"Bit salty, I always thought." He shifted his weight onto his arm, bent a knee so that he might drape his other across it. "When we get home, I'll be sure to cook you up something with more flavor. Maybe we'll stop by a pub on the way? Grab a pint and a hot meal." Shay focused on his hand, examining the wrinkles and scars when he half-heartedly muttered, "What am I to do with you? I can't simply leave you in Boston. Not on your own. And the boys think you're mad."
The first few nibbles had flared your hunger, your stomach cringing with a sudden need. You ate down the rest of the meat in larger bites before snatching up the chunk of bread. You bit down onto the dry and hard bread, roughly prying off a mouthful.
"Take your time, lass." Shay sat up, his hand wavered to reach out to you but he stopped himself in time. "Don't want you to choke on it, now do we?" He cautiously got up onto his feet, his gaze lingering on you in case his movements made you uncomfortable. "I'm going to help Liam at the wheel. You get some sleep on the bed." He looked at you squarely now, chin lowered and eyes narrowed. "You'll not be sleeping in the corner again, aye?"
You tilted your head away, the last few chews of your meal dryly sliding down your throat.
He seemed to sigh again, a soft groan when you didn't reply, the heel of his hand rubbing at his eyes. Shay ambled out of the room, boots clomping in rhythmic succession until the door clattered shut again.
You glowered over at the bed. He couldn't have known that you hadn't slept on one in years and the only time you were ever forced onto one was when your jailor desired something of you. You didn't follow his order, not entirely, and you'd accept whatever punishment he would deal out to you.
You cautiously moved about the room, stuffing yourself between barrels and a bookshelf, the perfect spot to hide away from anyone who might try to hurt you. You tried to sleep again, to rest for a moment, but the ship jostled and the wooden beams creaked. You could hear the waves splash and slap against the walls, unnerving something in you. You were surrounded by water, trapped more than you'd ever been. Your stomach clenched from both anxiety and having eaten too much, the most you'd consumed in a while.
You forced yourself out of your hiding spot, glancing at and observing every item in the room. You didn't dare touch anything, didn't run your hands across the worn maps or the fabrics of the sloppily folded clothes. No, you turned away from everything to approach the double doors. You turned the knob, cautiously enough that it didn't make a sound. It was painfully slow to open, your eyes never wavering from the widening space. You caught a glimpse of a passing sailor in the distance but otherwise the deck was clear.
You snuck out, closing the door just as stealthily. It was night, the moon a thin sliver in a dark but star clustered sky. The ocean, vast and unending, was a mass of roiling black. The moonlight occasionally sparked on the edges of a passing wave. The air was chilly and frigid, tingling deep into your lungs with each breath you took down.
You weren't planning on leaving. What would have been the point? You were on the ocean and even if you weren't in the middle of a great expanse of water, you had no desire to run. You wanted only to stand near Shay, bask in the calm energy he held. You looked about for that familiar face, the comforting and soothing expression that he always seemed to adorn. You heard him instead, his voice above you on the upper floor, the lilt of his pleasant accent.
You moved along the wall, staying close to it even when you reached the bottom of the steps. No one had caught sight of you yet, your movements too slow and your steps too quiet. You weren't trying to sneak up on them, despite your cautious uncertainty. You simply didn't want to appear aggressive or angry. You didn't want your sudden presence to cause a fight.
Shay was speaking with Liam, a warm-hearted laugh following his words. Even the grouchy other man managed a laugh, causing you to wonder what sort of person he truly was when you weren't around.
"Shay," warned Liam at the sight of you, his body rigid as he stepped towards the captain.
You froze in your advance, Liam looking as if he might draw his gun on you.
"It's alright, Liam." Shay turned to face you, his arm reaching out to barricade the aggression of his friend. "Glad to see you're out here, lass. Don't worry. Liam's all bark and no bite."
Liam scoffed. "Wish we could say the same of her."
It was a bad idea seeking him out. You thought it best to leave, to avoid the situation, to avoid Liam. But when you shuffled back towards the stairs, Shay was quickly snapping up your hand. You jerked, fear from the sudden gesture, but you didn't pull away from him. Shay stepped backwards, leading you towards Liam, smile wide upon his face. And that smile alone soothed whatever worries that would have plagued you.
"You've ever been on a ship, lass?" He motioned towards the large wheel, setting your hand down on it. "I can teach you the basics of sailing if you like."
Liam gave out a heavy sigh but he kept his words to himself.
You lifted your hand up off of the smooth, lacquered surface. Shay however was determined, placing his hand on top of yours and wrapping it around one of the handles. He turned the wheel ever so slightly, pointing up towards the sails above, allowing you to watch the minute changes that occurred.
"Captain." Heavy footsteps clamoured onto the stairs.
You snapped your hand away from Shay, ducking behind him as the stranger approached. He must have caught sight of you, his steps wavering where they were, his eyes locked onto Shay's torso.
Shay chuckled, "Quit cowering and get up here."
He clenched his jaws, daring himself into taking the last few stairs. "We've went through and organized the supplies from the fort. Would you like Liam or yourself to look at them, sir?"
Shay peeked over his shoulder at you.
"I'll take care of it." Liam patted the frightened sailor onto the arm and walked him down the steps. "Have you managed to write a list or will I need to do that for you?"
"We have one already, sir."
Shay turned his body, prying you out from behind him. His hands roughly settled down onto your arms, gripping until you boldly looked up at him. "The crew won't harm you. Liam won't harm you. And I won't harm you."
You gave a slow and hesitant nod.
Shay smiled widely, a smile that was so contagious that even your own lips began to tug momentarily. He returned his attention back towards the helm, keeping the ship steady under a light and gentle touch. "We've another day until we reach Boston. And then home." He almost sighed that word: home. You couldn't quite remember what that even felt like but hearing Shay say it... You wanted that feeling, too. "After a new set of clothes..." His eyes roved over you as he returned his attention to the wheel. "After a proper set, you'll fit right in with the crew."
You sneaked a glance out over the ship. You could barely make out the shadows of the few men that lingered on deck. The lantern light was just barely enough to chase back the darkness. You looked back towards Shay, taking in the way the sea breeze ruffled his messy long hair as he looked out towards the horizon.
His gaze quickly swept to you, not giving you enough time to look away. He grinned, sweet eyes glistening when the moonlight them hit at the perfect angle. "Thinking of anything in particular, lass?"
You ducked your head away. You peered over at his boots, dusted with dirt and blood. You wanted to thank him, to mutter those small pathetic words but you hadn't spoken in such a long time that you weren't even sure if you could. It was easier to stand there, speechless and statuesque. But he deserved much more than that, didn't he?
Shay, whether you truly understood it or not, had rescued you. Your brain couldn't comprehend it, not yet. Your thoughts were still too programmed and trained to think of it but Shay offered you freedom. He was giving you the opportunity to start a new life. You didn't quite care for a new life yet but you did care for Shay. He had helped you. And you would in turn help him. You owed him your life.
"There's nothing quite like being out at sea." He lifted his chin, eyes slipping closed as the breeze caressed his skin. "Something about being out here on the water that makes things seem so much more distant."
You slipped your eyes closed, feeling the same cool breeze as Shay. Your worries melted, your thoughts softening until you realized how exhausted you truly were. You could have slept standing there, Shay's warmth just a few mere centimeters away. Your entire body sighed, head bowing as a soft sleep fell over you.
Shay chuckled, jostling hold of your attention. "Don't fall asleep on me now, lass. Head down to the cabin for a bit if you're tired."
You stood a bit straighter, determined to stay where you were.
"Enough of that." His fingers pushed playfully into your shoulder. "Either you go down and sleep or you at least talk to me. I think I'm getting tired of talking to myself here."
You huffed, tossing your head away from him, focusing on the crisp waves.
"Oh, fine." His voice was still just as cheery, melodic even. "I'll just start singing a little shanty then."
You turned to him, lips parted, words on the tip of your tongue.
But Shay's eyes were up on the sails, glancing over the masts before turning towards the moon. He began to sing it, curl on the edge of his lips, wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, "Oh, don't you hear the old man say? Goodbye, fare-ye-well. Goodbye, fare-ye-well."
You swallowed your words, still uncertain what you even would have said to him. You focused on the ship instead, admiring the way the massive thing could slice through the ocean and the dark of night.
"Oh, don't you hear the old man say? Hoor-raw my boys, we're homeward bound." Shay grinned, tossing his attention over towards you. "Nothing yet? Not even pleased we're heading home?"
You forced yourself to face him but your head ducked away, an old habit that you couldn't shake yourself from. You swallowed the sickening anxiety and murmured under your breath, "Thank you."
Shay was silent, his breath passing roughly over his lips. "You don't worry yourself, lass. I only did the right thing." His hands reached out for a second, fingers curled as if he wanted to brush them along your arm but he dropped them back at his side. "And I'm glad to finally hear that voice of yours. Sounds angelic if you ask me."
You clenched your jaws and stalked forwards towards the bannister which drew a laugh from Shay. It was strange to hear such pleasant comments, ones of a sweeter and kinder nature. It was difficult for you to respond to them, wavering in how to reply or what to do. Physical things were always expected by your previous jailor but Shay wasn't a jailor... He was... You didn't know. You didn't understand any of it.
You growled, angry and bitter, too confused to comprehend what was happening now. What was he? What were you? Why did he bother saving you? What reason did he have for killing your previous jailor?
You spun sharply on your heel, eyes filled with rage.
Shay reached out a trembling hand, brows bending under sincere concern. "Did I say something to upset you?"
You rushed him, your hands snatching hold of his lapels, but the moment you did you felt regret and remorse. Your words were low, tangled in your throat, "What is it you want?"
Shay took his time replying, his arms wavering as they hovered around you. He was too afraid to hold you but he wanted so desperately to comfort you. "Nothing. Lass. I want nothing from you."
Your anger twisted into a deep rooted sorrow, your fingers quivering in their furious grip around his jacket. You bit down into the corner of your lip, teeth sinking into flesh until you tasted the tart twinge of blood.
Liam's weary voice broke the subtle silence. "Shay."
"It's alright, Liam." He gathered your hands into his, prying them from his jacket and letting them fall to your side.
You bowed your head away, allowing your anger to dissipate.
"You take the wheel tonight and I'll take over in the morn." Shay shuffled a step back then carefully waltzed with you towards the stairs and down into the captain's cabin. He closed the doors and guided you over to the bed. He pulled the covers down and patted a hand upon it. "Go on, lass. Get some sleep."
You wavered, shifting your weight ever so slightly between your feet. You nearly looked at him, nearly met his gaze but you stopped yourself. Your eyes burned, warm tears moistening your cheeks.
Shay tried to reach out again, to hold you but he stopped himself. His hand gripped your shoulder, bringing you closer to the bed and easing to you sit on its edge. "Rest, now. I'll stay close by. No one'll get in here." He moved over towards the round table in the center of the room, busying himself with his belts and weaponry.
You laid down on your side, not bothering to sleep under the blankets. But you felt too vulnerable, even with Shay watching over you. You scooted back and pressed your spine into the wall. You stared a hole into the floor across the room, burrowing your gaze into every fine grain.
Shay glanced over his shoulder, mouth in a hard-pressed frown. "You frightened, lass?" He turned around to face you, shuffling a bit towards the bed. "Is that why you won't sleep?"
You whispered it, too afraid to speak any louder, "Yes."
He patted the mattress before sitting down. "I'll be right here." He shifted his weight until he could lay out on his back, head thrown onto the pillow. He reached a hand up, fluffing the pillow beneath his head and left it there. "Not the best of beds but... better than nothing." He closed his eyes and draped his arm across his stomach. He was laying on the very edge, giving you enough space if you needed it.
Your tongue licked at the cut on the inside of your mouth, regretting that you had hurt not only yourself but Shay as well. You were so full of anger and rage and you weren't certain how to handle it. You knew now that you wanted to protect Shay. He wasn't your jailor but he was something. He was someone you wanted to serve. He had saved you and you were going to do everything in your power to help him in return.