The last time I was left alone without really knowing anything was when I was twelve. I had never been alone before. My parents usually had a housekeeper at home or some sort of adult watching over me so that I wasn't left unsupervised. And they never left without telling me.
At least, not before then.
And Arthur leaving, especially with today's major progress in being civilized acquaintances, had me reliving a fraction of what I felt then. Throughout the next twenty minutes that I waited, I had a hand over my chest, trying to subdue my growing panic when every time I turned to look for him, he was nowhere in sight.
When I got to the part of the line where they were entering and dividing people up into groups, I asked the attendant if there was some way I could move out of the line. He was understanding enough, flashing me a cute smiling before calling for someone to take his place so he could escort me through a shortcut.
He led me through the entrance, taking me through back routes with a hand on the small of my back. I would've been scared, but he seemed decent enough. None of his colleagues didn't seem to mind him, giving him respectful nods as we went passed them, but I still held my breath until I was outside.
"Do you need any other help after this?" Dave asked me, a bit of concern in his tone as he held the door open.
I took in a deep breath, pushing out the air from my lungs. It relieved some of the pressure that was constricting my lungs. After several shuddering breaths, I returned his smile, shaking my head as I, once again, scanned the vicinity.
"I'm good," I told him, hesitantly placing a hand on his arm, "but thank you so much for the help. I-I hope I didn't bother you too much."
He shook his head, waving his hand. "Nah, actually, you saved me from another monotone day." Checking back in, he ran a hand through his hair. "Are you sure you don't need to call someone?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," I said, my eyes roaming the crowds, but I was only half certain of my next words, "he'll be back."
He nodded.
"Well, I better go," I gestured over my shoulder with my head, stepping back. "Maybe, I'll see you again."
"You, too."
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, wishing that we hadn't gone into the fountains so that my phone would work. It was around three in the afternoon and the sun was beating down on everyone. I began to regret, not for the first time today, wearing jeans instead of shorts.
Taking another deep breath, I gently stepped out of the shadows and searched for the nearest ice cream station. There was one just a little ways away by the escalator, but that was fruit flavored. I needed something sweeter.
I didn't spare the Kwik-E-Mart a glance, not feeling up to a giant donut at the moment. Luckily, I didn't have to walk far before I found an ice cream booth with chocolate ice cream. Once I had it in hand, I walked back to the Simpson's ride.
I wasn't a child anymore, but I knew the rules. I had to stay where they left me, and this applied even more considering neither of us had out phones. Finding a seat under some shade, I lapped up my ice cream, gradually feeling my panic diminish.
But the feeling that left was immediately replaced with a simmering anger. My blood began to boil, my head tightening as my teeth gnashed together violently. People passing me by shot me wary looks, escorting their children away from me, but I couldn't care less about the fact that I was scaring anyone. I was pissed off, raging mad, ready to explode, and it was, once again, all because of him.
I began berating myself for even letting my anxiety pile up just because he left me on a ride. Then I scolded myself even more for letting him influence me to miss out on a good ride- a ride I waited thirty minutes in line for.
Determined, I stood up, eyes narrowing as I headed back to the line. If he was going to leave me here, then fine. Whatever. I would enjoy my time here because, goddamit, it's Universal Studios, and, even though it's not as infamous as Disneyland, I was going to have fun.
So I went back in line with my ice cream and calmed myself as I waited. At the front of the line was Dave, back in position, and he gave me a surprised but welcoming smile when he directed me to the first lane. When I got on the ride, I whooped, smiled, squealed, as if I was here alone and I didn't give a damn.
By the end of the ride, I was only slightly pissed off, but not enough to need another ice cream. Which is a good thing considering I was low on cash.
Stepping out of the building, I found myself, once again, taking in the crowd as they rushed by or crowded into lines. I wasn't one to get all philosophical so there wasn't really much to my observation, except me imagining myself as a part of the masses and then grimacing a bit at the reminder that I'll be a part of that soon if I wanted to get on the Studio Tour. That had a hot line, since it was outdoors.
Bracing myself, I readied myself to jump into the ocean of rushing people before me.
But before I could take one step out, my ears perked up at the sound of muffled shouting. I turned around, brows drawn. It sounds like they were calling...
"Kaia!" Arthur burst through the doors I exited, eyes frantic and posture rigid, tense.
When his eyes landed on me, everyone who was looking could see him visibly droop in relief. Then he was walking towards me, his strides speedy and long and purposeful. Next thing I knew, my wrist was gripped tightly in his large hand and he was dragging me off.
At first, I was too shocked to react, but as he began to pull us through the crowd, shoving people rudely left and right without even mumbling an apology, I snapped back.
"What are you doing?" I exclaimed, trying to pull myself out of his grip, but he wouldn't budge.
"We have to go. Now," he stated, his eyes scanning everyone around us. Then he was wrapping an arm around my shoulders so that I wasn't lagging behind him. It was like I was a doll and that didn't sit well with me.
Anger spiking, I struggled against his hold for the second time that day. "No!" I shouted, garnering the attention of many people passing by. "Let me go!"
"Kaia, stop making a scene," he growled through gritted teeth, eyes slashing me with a glare before returning back to scanning the area. What was his problem?
"NO!" The volume of my exclamation surprised him enough to slightly loosen his hold. I took the opportunity, breaking away from him and bumping into some guy. I apologized to him briefly before carefully stepping back from Arthur.
He reached for my arm again, trying to pull me with him, but I was too pissed off to let him get away with that again. Sliding from his grip, I began to make my way to the Studio tour. I was going there before he came back and he damn well wasn't going to distract me.
"Kaia!" he continued to shout through the crowd as he followed me.
I continued to ignore him. There were a lot of people here and they wouldn't know he was talking to me. They could glare at him all they wanted.
I slid through the crowd easily since I wasn't too big and it was easy to move about as a lone person. Arthur had a hard time, though, since he was being loud and wasn't really focusing on where he was going. Glancing back at him, I rolled my eyes, ducking my head and pushing through.
"Excuse me," I murmured as I got to the front, rushing down the steps. Everyone was tired so they were mostly trying to get on the escalator or waiting for the elevator, which was why the stairs were so empty. By the time I reached the bottom, Arthur was halfway down the steps, following two at a time, dauntingly. People on the escalators were sending him cautious looks, whispering to their children rapidly.
"Kaia!"
My hands were balled into fists and I could feel the steam blowing out of my ears.
How dare he? How dare he think that he could just leave me for a good hour and then come back, with no explanation, and then proceed to drag me around like a doll? I thought we were over this. I wasn't going to put up with this shit complacently.
I got into line, but because of the winding passage, Arthur was able to catch up to me in no time.
"Kaia," he hissed, hopping over the railing and blocking the rest of the path. Others were glaring at him- including me, but he was paying them no mind. "We have to go."
"No! I told you that already," I snapped, hands on my hips and my chin tilted up angrily.
"This is not a time to be making a scene," he said lowly, finally aware of the attention we had. "We need to leave. Now."
"Yeah, right," I scoffed. The line began to gather up behind me and I, grudgingly, stepped closer to Arthur and pushed him to move. He stood still, rudely keeping his place. "Arthur," I hissed, darting my eyes back behind me at the irritated line of people. "Move."
I tried pushing him again, but he didn't budge. My ears were reddening in embarrassment, not liking the fact that they were getting annoyed with me, so I tried again. "Arthur!"
Surprisingly though, this time, he moved. I thought he was going to comply and I began to walk passed him to catch up with the rest of the line and get into the shade, but at the corner, he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and hauled me into him, stepping into the corner to make way for the people to pass us.
"What the hell!" I exclaimed, but it was muffled by his shirt and the fact that his arms were pressing me tightly to him. When everyone passed by, I didn't even begin to breathe in when he picked me up and the whole world tilted.
"Arthur!" I shouted, my arms flailing beside me as I tried to grip onto something to hang onto. He carried me like that all the way to the elevator where several of the people stepped back to give him some space.
I began to punch his back then, a sneer on my lips and my temper already whistling shrilly. The elevator doors opened and instead of stepping in, we stayed put and I gathered that he let the people go. When the elevators shut, he put me down, cornering me into the other elevator.
I glared at him, shoving my hair back roughly with my hand and then trying to push him away. "What the fuck was that about?"
"You wouldn't listen to me!"
"You were dragging me like a fucking rag doll! How the hell did everyone let you get away with this?" His eyes narrowed briefly before he answered me by flashing me that charming grin. Well, it works to fool people, too. Glad to know. "Of course," I sneered sarcastically.
The grin disappeared and he was back to glaring at me. "We have to leave now."
"No! You have to leave now."
"I will not leave you here."
"I am not gonna let you ruin the day! I'm here to tour you around but if you don't fucking want it, then go away!" I tried to slip passed him, but he sidestepped me, blocking the way. I growled, stomping my foot and letting out an aggravated groan. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT WITH ME?"
Finally, I had snapped.
"You left me there for an hour, Arthur! I was just doing as you said, 'going on' as you told me if you weren't there! You never told me where you went off to or who you were looking for, you just left. Do you know the last time someone left me without an explanation? I ended up spending the night with the cops because there wasn't anyone there to look after me- I was a minor. And then the next time after that, I got locked into my own house while I was being robbed. You're just lucky nothing bad happened to me here!"
Arthur froze when he heard the last few sentences, eyes bulging in alarm.
"So yeah, don't expect that I'll just go along with you after you fucking left me. I'm pissed off as it is and if you don't want me to further pop my top - because, yes, it can fucking get worse than this - then you will either leave or go along with me on the rides because there is no way in hell I'm giving you my keys."
At the end of my rant, I was breathing heavily, my chest rising and falling as I glared up at him with burning eyes. And for the first time, when I met his gaze, there wasn't any sign of green flecks in them. It was pure brown- devoid of emotion, feeling, or reaction.
I had a feeling it was an attempt to get me to back down because, despite his earlier reaction to my admission, he wanted us to leave. But I didn't care why. He didn't explain any shit to me and I knew he wasn't about to. So he either took my deal or go wait outside; I wasn't leaving until I said so.
From the corner of my eye, the veins in his arms shown through and the muscles in his arms tightened. And then: "Fine."
He raised his hands, pushing his fists through his hair tensely.
Satisfied that he'd agreed, my shoulders drooped, exhaustion nearly taking over me. And that would've been bounds for him to suggest us leaving but I immediately shook off the fatigue and stood up straight, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
He turned around, still blocking me. I assumed, from the rise and falls of his shoulders, that he was taking deep breaths, calming himself down.
While he did that, I ran a hand through my hair again, quickly tying it up. My eyes fell shut, my mind tired from the release, as it usually did before expelling the rest of my anger in a loud swoosh of a breath. I leaned back, then, my head hitting the metal of the elevator. There was a crinkle of paper and I reached behind me, pulling at it and then raising it in front of me.
"Out of Order," it said. I turned around and realized that he had backed me into an elevator. That explained why we weren't disturbed but there was another elevator. Why hadn't anyone come out from that?
Before I could contemplate any further, Arthur turned back around, composed and then he stepped back. "Let's go, then," he gritted out. So, he wasn't fully composed, but he was complying. And then, his hand wrapped around my forearm, once again, gentle but firm. "The sooner we're done with this, the sooner we could leave."
I narrowed my eyes at that, but because he was walking in front of me, he didn't see that. And he was too corded up to really notice.
Even with that outburst, there was no doubt I was still curious. There was something wrong, wrong enough for him to go a full one-eighty in under an hour. And, as much as we had fought, it didn't go all the way like that. He saw something during the hour that he left me that had him panicking- not in the way I had though. He was alarmed. The fact was seen in the strain of his arms, the heaviness of his stride, and the sharpness as his gaze continued to scan the vicinity. It wasn't even like he was Arthur again. He looked more like a robot to me than anything.
Leading us back through the winding line, we kept silent.
The tension between us was revived and it was like the entire morning never happened. We were right back to where we started, except that I thought him more of an asshole than before. It pissed me off that he even attempted what he did and I couldn't believe I actually thought we were getting along.
I was mad for most of the line, mad enough to not pry. Of course, that didn't mean I didn't give him the chance to explain. He could've found time during the entire wait, but he didn't seem to get the hint, staying silent and stoic behind me.
But the way he acted was completely different than before. Whenever someone would bump into me, he'd glare at them, making them back off. People began to send us wary glances, especially him, stepping back whenever we got near. It didn't help that the people behind us and in front of us kept a sizable distance no matter how much the line moved.
I was so tempted to confront him and get him to chill, but we were in the middle of the line and it didn't seem like the right spot to have such a conversation and I knew it would probably make the situation worse. I didn't want to get escorted out of here.
When we got to the front, we were once again asked how many were in our group. I was ready to response with a 'one', but Arthur spoke over me, gruffly saying, "Two." So we were directed to the same row.
Ugh. I didn't want to sit next to him the entire ride. He was acting so brutish and it was scaring people. I didn't like the attention and I didn't like the looks of caution they sent us.
It was then, during the wait for the tram to roll in, that I snapped. I spun to face him, keeping my voice low as I darted wary looks to the people beside us. "Do you mind calming down? You're scaring the shit out of people."
He sent me a brief glance, his facial expression not changing. Instead, they turned more hostile and I could feel everyone inching away from us. Trying to reassure the people standing beside us, I grasped Arthur's hand and pushed him in front of me, smiling reassuringly at a little girl who was holding her mom's waist, frightened.
"Sorry, he just found out that he was fired by his boss. He's not as scary as he looks," I tried to reassure them. The mother glanced warily at Arthur over my head, still not convinced. "It's his first time here, "I continued, "So seeing the cool things back there might interest him enough to calm him down."
They relaxed- marginally. Then the tram rolled in and Arthur grabbed my hand, dragging me towards the car in front of us. He pushed me up onto the seat, before sliding in beside me, locking me into the side. The woman with the daughter watched us, eyes wide.
I shook my head, pulling up a tight smile. They weren't getting on and it began to grab the attention of the ride attendants. Worried that they would kick us out or report us, I muttered to Arthur, "Switch seats with me."
"No."
"Arthur, you're gonna get us both kicked out of here," I hissed.
"Then we could leave."
"Arthur!"
But he wouldn't budge. When I looked back to the woman, I gave her a reassuring smile, sending Arthur a glare. Since he wouldn't move, I decided to act on it. Before he could think on it, I crawled on my seat, going over his lap and plopped myself on his other side.
While I turned to the mom, I tapped the seat behind me. My eyes darted to the attendant approaching them, but I shook my head. "Are you guys coming along?"
She still looked wary and the amount of attention on us increased.
Turning to Arthur, I threaded my arm around his and leaned up to his ear, "Calm the fuck down. People will think you're abusing me or something along those lines. Do you want to go to jail?"
I tightened my grip on his arm when I saw the lady talking to the attendant. Their gazes darted to use every once and a while. Then the attendant approached the tram where we were.
And then, before I knew it, Arthur was relaxing beside me, pulling his arm from mine, wrapping it around my shoulders, and scooting us over. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head, just as the attendant froze.
"My girlfriend's right," he called out to the mother, "I got some disturbing news earlier and it really angered me. I assure you I don't mean any harm."
He sounded sincere enough.
The woman sent me a look for confirmation and, despite my utter surprise, I gave her a nod, smiling. "See, I told you. He'll calm down even more."
And then she looked at the attendant and ushered her daughter up. The little girl slowly approached us, taking a seat and leaving a space between us. Her eyes darted from me to Arthur, still frightened so I widened my smile.
I didn't like scaring children and having one seated next to me was practically the same as that.
When the attendant shut the doors and the tram started to move, Arthur's grip on my shoulder dropped, but he kept his arm around me. I tried to move out of it, but as soon as I did that, he tensed, and I moved right back. If this was going to keep him calm, then so be it.
After hissing, "I'll get you for that," I turned to the little girl, bending my head down so she'd hear me over the speakers.
"Hi, I want to apologize for my-" I paused, pressing my lips together as I forced out the next word through my teeth, "my boyfriend's scary attitude. He's really not that bad. It's just that some news triggers a lot of bad attitudes in him."
She tightly hugged the minion stuffed toy.
Trying to ease the situation, I asked her with a soft smile, "I'm Kaia, what's your name?" I glanced up at the mother to see if she minded my starting up a conversation with the daughter. But she didn't look too worried. She seemed to mind Arthur more than me.
The little girl glanced at her mother, too, as if asking for permission. She gave her a subtle nod, and the girl turned to me hesitantly. "I'm Pia," she responded, quietly.
"That's such a beautiful name."
"Thank you."
I smiled even wider, holding out a hand. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Pia."
Hesitantly, she took my hand.
"She's right," came Arthur's voice from beside me. I could feel him shift slightly so he could face us. "You have a beautiful name. Like a princess."
Pia's gaze flickered to him, warily, biting her lip as she marginally scooted back into her mom. Even though I had to sigh at the lack of progress, at least I was assured that Pia was smart enough to trust blindly. I darted a glance at Arthur as he dropped his head, his other hand going over his face and I sensed the worried tension that cloaked him.
Pushing back the anger that I had for him, I turned to him, concerned.
"Hey, you okay?" I whispered as we passed the movie posters that lined the route.
He glanced at me, lips pressed tightly together and brows drawn. "We should've left," he said, a growl lingering in the back of his throat. "We should be on the road. We shouldn't be here."
I frowned. "You were the one who insisted that we come here, remember?"
He sat up, running a hand through his hair as he looked out to the side. "I realize that, but I didn't think..."
There was more that sentence. "You didn't think what?"
He sighed, looking at me and then turning away with a grunt of frustration. "I didn't think, alright? I didn't think. We shouldn't have gone here. You were right."
But it didn't sound like I was right. He sounded mad, however, he wasn't mad at me. It was as if he were mad at himself. "I don't understand you," I scoffed, sitting back and looking forward. "I thought we were fine-"
"We are- were," he corrected himself. He shut his eyes, breathing in deeply. Several people around us sent us looks at his outburst. Lowering his voice, he said, "I just- something happened."
"Something happened?" I repeated, disbelieved. "In the hour you left me, something happened... Here." I couldn't accept that fact. It seemed wrong, like a total lie. "What happened?"
"I can't tell you," he muttered, removing his arm from around me. He leaned forward, propping his elbows in his knees and dropping his head into his hands.
"You can't- you can't tell me?" I stuttered, shocked. "Are you serious? You made a-"
I shook my head. "Nope. I'm not getting into this with you."
"Then why bother asking?"
"Because I-" I cut myself off, not wanting to admit to anything. Taking a deep breath, I shook my head, staying silent. Crossing my arms over my chest, I angled myself so that I was facing the other direction.
I could feel him sigh heavily beside me before his arm returned to its position around my shoulders. Despite his lax position, I could still sense how tense he was, how alert and wary he was everything. As if there was someone following us, and, I know. The idea seemed out of place, improbable, considering, why would anyone follow us? But I couldn't shake it off me.
The way he was looking around constantly. The fact that he kept scanning someone as if all of a sudden they were going to pull out a gun and aim it at us. His arm around me may have been to calm down other people and, I guess, reaffirm the boyfriend label he decided to stick on us, but it didn't fool me.
There was something about the way that he was acting now- something dangerous and worrisome that made me wonder if, maybe, we really should have left.
No. I shook my head, breathing in and then exhaling. The tram began to round a lot to a fake town, decorated with trees, fresh lawns, and tall, empty buildings. The tour guide began to inform us about what happened on the lot, what it was used for, how it was used, and which shows filmed on it. I focused on that for a while, trying to steam off my frustration with Arthur.
To my left, Pia scooted over, her gaze watching me carefully. I didn't turn to her, waiting for her to make the first move. When I felt a tug at my shirt's hem, I slowly turned my head.
She bit her lip, her fisted hand shyly covering her mouth, before she leaned closer and whispered, "Is he hurting you?"
Pia glanced at Arthur cautiously. I found myself leaning closer, whispering back, "No."
Her gaze softened, concern shining her wide, brown eyes. "Are you sure? Because mommy said we could report him."
Abuse wasn't a thing to joke about, and I would never subject someone to a false accusation like that. Even if I was pissed at them. That was beyond childish. "I'm sure," I said with a reassuring smile. "He's just in a mood."
Biting her lip, she looked down and then back up. "Your name's pretty, too."
I smiled wider at that, my eyes crinkling. "Thank you."
Her eyes flickered over my shoulder, scooting back a bit. I guess Arthur was watching us. "Um..." she started, "What's- what's his name?"
"Arthur," I told her. Then, to ease her worries, I winked, adding, "But he prefers Arturo."
Her nose scrunched up as I felt a light nudge on my side.
"That's a funny name."
"She's kidding," Arthur butted in, with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "She just wants to annoy me."
"Because you annoy me," I quipped back, not facing him.
"No, you're just annoying."
I shook my head at her, mouthing, "He's lying. He's the annoying one."
Pia giggled. I spotted her mom glance at us cautiously.
"Whatever she's saying right now, it's a lie," he said to Pia, his tone light.
Then the tram began to enter a tunnel, slowly shrouding us in darkness. It was silent for a while, before the guide directed us to the screen. While it played, I felt Arthur lean into me, his breath fanning my neck as he spoke, "I'm sorry for leaving you. I didn't think I'd be gone that long."
I stiffened, my lips pressing tightly together.
He sighed, once again, his breath hitting a nerve, causing a shiver to go down my spine. "And I'm sorry for acting like such a jerk out there. It's just that there are some things about the business that I have to do here that are classified."
Classified. It was like I was hearing an echo of my parents.
"It's classified, Kaia."
"We can't tell you where we're going, it's classified information."
"Our jobs aren't something that we can easily disclose information about. It's classified."
They always told me that it was classified. They never told me what they did, that's all they ever said. Classified. I accepted that term from them because who was I to question my parents? I lived off of their money; what right did I have to interrogate.
But I wasn't living off of Arthur. No.
"Classified?" I asked, my jaw tightening. "What do you mean classified?"
The director's introduction finished then and then, to our sides, the screen flickered on. A jungle-like scene enclosing around us, birds chirping, rustling leaves, and water dropping surrounding us.
"You know what I mean."
I turned to him, eyes narrowed and a sneer on my lips. "You don't get to tell me that." My jaw trembled. "I've heard that my entire life- you can't tell me that. I won't accept that kind of..." I breathed in deeply, the air clogging in my throat as I felt my anger simmer back. But, unfortunately, I couldn't let it out like I had before. Shutting my eyes, I tried to clear my head, trying to ease off the pressure that began to suffocate my head.
Sometimes, I hated the fact that I got angry so easily, but I couldn't find it in myself to take myself to stay in anger management. I wasn't as bad as the people there. Sure, I had my outbursts, but I wasn't as bad, and being there just made me angry and anxious and it seemed to do me more bad than good.
"Kaia," Arthur asked, his arms tightening around me as the tram shook. Arthur stayed focused on me though, his brows furrowed. Behind him, King Kong approached with a roar. It echoed in my head and it seemed to worsen the pressure in my head. "Kaia," he whispered again, his hands coming up to cup my face.
I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't get a word out. I felt suffocated and all I could do was shut my eyes tightly and ball my hands up into fists. My nails dug into my palms, the pain sending signals up to my head, but it was like I couldn't process it.
Hands slid down my arms, uncurling my fists. Mutedly, I could hear Arthur curse under his breath before there was a quiet crinkling of a bag under the noise of the fighting of the dinosaur and gorilla above us. And then there was something pressed into my hands, cloth, and Arthur was curling my hand around it.
"Hold it tightly."
The command registered dimly in my head, my hands tightly gripping the cloth. Then his hands slid to my cheeks, pulling me closer to him, whispering, "Breathe, Kaia. Breathe."
But I couldn't. I shook my head, shakily, biting my lip and shutting my eyes tightly together.
"Kaia," his voice sounded strangled, panicked.
Slowly, I tried to get another breath in, but it was hard.
And then, all of a sudden, there was a pressure on my lips, the velvet of a tongue pushing my lips open and then warm air being pushed into me.