Mom and Dad were home when I arrived. Wala sina Kuya Travis at Kuya Chris, but Kuya Jacob and Kuya Andrei were.
Dad was on the phone. Mom was sitting beside him, hand on his shoulder, listening to the conversation. Nasa mini bar sina Kuya kaya doon ako dumiretso.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and asked, "What's going on?"
Kuya Jacob didn't answer. His eyes were pointed at Dad.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Kuya Andrei. With my eyes, I tried to ask him. He only shook his head.
Finally, natapos na ang tawag kay Dad. Lumapit ang mga kuya ko sa kanila kaya sumunod din ako.
"Hon, ano daw?" nag-aalalang bungad ni Mom.
Umiling si Dad. "They are pressuring us," mariing sabi niya. "They want us to do something about Gian."
"What do they want from us?"
Dad looked at all of us and sighed. He closed his eyes and started massaging his head.
When he didn't answer, Mom continued, "What are we going to do? Gian might be wrong here, but attacking him? Hindi tama ang ginawa nila."
"Mas mabuti siguro kung si Nicollo muna ang kumausap sa kanya. Wala pa namang kasiguraduhan na sa kanya nga ang bata."
At the mention of that, my brows rose. I covered my mouth with a hand.
Oh, my gosh! Tama nga ang hinala ko! Was it possible na buntis nga si Zoey Chen? 'Yon ba ang dahilan kung bakit sinugod ni Yuan Chen at ng daddy niya si Gian?
"Dad. Yung...yung Chinese ba? Did Gian . . . " I paused, eyes wide, "Nabuntis ni Gian si Zoey Chen?"
Napatingin silang lahat sa 'kin na parang nagulat.
Pagod na nagbuntonghininga si Dad.
"Yes." He pinched the bridge of his nose.
Umiling ako. I was in disbelief. "Sabi na, e. I had a hunch pero 'di ko akalain."
Sumulyap sa 'kin si Mom. "Alam mo, Javee? You knew about this?"
Tumango ako. "I saw Zoey Chen. Nagmamakaawa siya sa 'kin. I think hindi na kasi siya kinakausap ni Gian even before."
"Kalat na rin sa school ang nangyari. Alam na ng lahat," dagdag pa ni Kuya Jacob.
Seryoso ang mukha ni Dad habang nag-iisip. Umiiling-iling si Mom.
I stayed quiet.
Alam kong malaking pamilya ang mga Chen. They are Chinese and they owned several big businesses in the Philippines. I knew din kasi lagi ko rin naririnig sa mga usapan nina Dad and his brothers kapag nag-uusap sila tungkol sa business.
The silence was cut off when Dad's phone rang again. Kumunot ang noo niya habang sinasagot ang tawag.
"Osen," bati niya.
That's Kuya Onyx's father.
There was a pause and then Dad signed again. "Damn, Nicollo. Sige, pupuntahan ko. Ako na ang bahala."
"Hon, what's going on? Bakit tumawag si Osen?"
"Tara na," agarang sabi ni Dad sa 'min. "Tumawag si Geanna kay Jackie."
"Bakit daw?" I asked, getting up. Palabas na kami sa parking.
"Binubugbog ng tito mo ang pinsan mo."
***
Tita Geanna was crying when we reached their mansion. Gian was already sporting a cut on his lip nang dumating kami. Nakatayo siya sa gilid ng living room nila habang pinapakalma ni Kuya Nick ang daddy nila.
Tito Nicollo was beyond fuming. Namumula ang mga pisngi niya sa sobrang galit at nanginginig ang buong katawan niya.
Mom walked straight to Tita Geanna who was crying on the sides. My brothers made a move to approach Gian, but Dad stopped them before he went to where Tito Nicollo was.
"Kumalma ka muna, Nicollo," he said.
Tito Nicollo ignored him and threw a glare at his son. "How can you be so careless, Gian? Imbis na pag-aaral mo ang asikasuhin mo, kung anu-anong kabulastugan ang ginagawa mo!"
Gian looked stubborn as fuck. Kahit na mukhang natamaan na siya sa mukha, matalim pa rin ang mga mata niya. He wasn't even fazed!
Alam kong nagtitimpi pa siya. Nakakuyom ang mga kamay niya. That's good. Sana kaya niyang magtimpi hanggang mamaya.
"Gagawa ka na lang ng kalokohan, yung mandadamay ka pa ng iba!" Tito Nicollo continued. "This is a disgrace! Nakakahiya ka!"
Humagulgol si Tita Geanna. Sa nakikita ko, lalo akong nanginig. Tears sprang in my eyes. Kuya Andrei placed his arm around me and pulled me close to him.
"Maybe it's wrong to let you stay here. Dapat pinadala na kita sa Germany noon pa!"
Lumapit si Dad at naglagay ng palad sa balikat ni Tito. Sinusubukan niyang pakalmahin ang kapatid.
"Calm down. Pag-usapan natin 'to nang matino," Dad interjected. "Fighting isn't the solution."
"No, Kuya! Look at this boy! Look what he's done!" sabi ni Tito kay Dad. "Dahil sa kagaguhan niya, madidisgrasya pa ang pangalan natin. Hindi natututo ang batang 'to! Look at this disgrace!" Sabay baling ulit sa anak. "Papanindigan mo 'yon, Gian. Magpapakasal kayo. I won't have a bastard for a grandson."
Nanlaki ang mga mata namin sa sinabi ni Tito. Tita Geanna hastily ran over to her husband and grabbed his elbow.
Napapikit si Kuya Nick sa narinig habang si Gian, nagdilim ang mukha.
Nagtinginan kami nina Kuya. Tulad ko, 'di rin nila gusto ang naririnig. But none of us dared to speak. The atmosphere was too fragile.
"Hon, bata pa ang anak mo," she begged shakily. "Pag-usapan natin 'to. Maybe we can compromise. Let's talk to the Chen."
"What's there to compromise?" matigas na sagot ni Tito. "Apo mo ang dinadala n'on. Kasalanan ng anak mo. At malaking pamilya ang mga Chen. Kapag kumalat lalo ang balitang 'to, pag-uusapan tayo ng mga tao. Masisira ang pangalan natin."
"That's it, Pa? Reputasyon lang ba ang iniisip mo?" sagot ni Kuya Nick, disbelief and anger on his face. "Puro kompanya na lang? Let's talk about this calmly, okay! Don't make irrational decisions."
"Shut up, Nick. Don't start with me. Kung naging mabuting ehemplo ka lang sana sa kapatid mo, hindi mangyayari 'to!"
Kuya Nick's face darkened in anger. "Ano, Pa? Ngayon kasalanan ko na?"
"Nick. Utang na loob, wag ka nang sumagot, anak," suway ni Tita Geanna habang bumubuhos ang luha.
Hinatak ni Kuya Jacob palayo si Kuya Nick pero pumiglas siya. Lumingon si Gian sa kapatid at umiling, as if he was asking him to step down.
"Nico, walang magagawa ang biglaang desisyon mo," sabi ni Dad. "Bakit hindi n'yo muna kausapin ang mga bata sa gusto nila?"
"They're kids, Kuya. What do they know about anything?"
"All the more reason kaya hindi mo dapat sila ipakasal."
"And the baby? That child belongs to us. Papayag ba kayong ipanganak 'yon na hindi dala ang pangalan natin? Nakakahiya. Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng iba?"
Gian, who kept his silence all throughout, finally spoke up. His jaw was taut, his hands clenched at his sides.
"Baka hindi sa 'kin 'yon," he suddenly said.
Lumipad ang tingin naming lahat sa kanya. Nagkibitbalikat siya.
"Ano?" matalim na tanong ni Tito sa kanya.
"I met that girl in a fucking bar, Pa. Who can say it's actually mine?"
Parang kinalabit, nanggagalaiting sumugod si Tito Nicollo at kinwelyuhan ang anak. Humampas sila sa pader kaya napasigaw si Tita Geanna sa gulat. Tatakbo na sana siya para awatin sila pero pinigilan siya ni Mom.
"Now you're making excuses? Be a man, Gian. I didn't raise you like this. Para ipahiya kami nang ganito!"
Nag-angat ng tingin si Gian sa papa niya na parang hindi natatakot.
"I'm saying the truth. Baka hindi sa 'kin 'yon," wika niya. "Magpa-DNA test muna tayo. If the kid is mine then I'll marry her. I'll do whatever you want. Quit my school, find a job. Send me to Germany, I don't fucking care. Kahit ano. Patunayan muna nilang anak ko talaga 'yon."
"He's right," mabilis na pasok ni Dad bago pa makapagsalita ulit si Tito Nicollo. "Let's cover all the basics muna and then let's talk to the Chen.
Tito Nicollo let go of his son and turned to my dad again.
"It's not the Chen I'm worried about. It's the Yu. We don't wanna antagonize a big family like that, not when we're discussing so many joint ventures together. Not when we're in the middle of a fucking expansion with them."
"Business this, business that. Bullcrap! Shit!" frustrated na sigaw ni Kuya Nick. "For once, Pa, itigil mo muna ang kakaisip sa business! We're your family. Kami naman muna!"
"NICK!" umiiyak na sita ng mama niya.
"Ano, Pa?" Umiling si Kuya at nagpatuloy, "Balewala na lang ang kapatid ko? Gano'n gano'n na lang? Ni 'di mo papakinggan yung sinasabi niya all for your fucking name?"
"NICK!"
"Kasi 'yon ang tama! Your brother did this. He should take responsibility!"
"But it's not sure yet! We're not sure yet!"
"Calm down, both of you!" Dad said, sighing. Then he turned to his brother. "C'mon, Nicollo. Listen to reason and consider the DNA testing," sabi niya kay Tito. "It's only rational to do so. Walang magagawa ang kasisigaw mo sa mga anak mo."
Kalmado niyang sinabi 'yon. As the eldest, he served as the voice of reason.
Pero wala iyong epekto kay Tito. He was still seething.
In tears, Tita Geanna grabbed Tito Nicollo's hand. "Let's do that, hon. Please."
Pumiglas si Tito kay Tita. Pinasadahan niya kami ng mabigat na tingin. Kitang-kita ko ang stress at disappointment sa mukha niya.
I held Kuya Andrei's arm sa sobrang panginginig. This entire scene was scaring me.
"'Yan! 'Yan ang dahilan kung bakit nagloloko ang mga batang 'yan! Kinukunsinte n'yo!" sigaw ni Tito sa kanila bago galit na umakyat sa kwarto nila. Sinundan siya ni Tita Geanna.
Once they were gone, my brothers and I went to Gian.
Our family was never the violent type. Mukhang nasagad si Tito Nicollo para masaktan niya si Gian.
Lumapit si Mom na may dalang first-aid kit. Tahimik niyang ginamot ang mga sugat ng pinsan ko.
Dad and Kuya Nick went outside to talk, possibly discussing our next move.
After Mom applied the ointment, lumabas na rin siya para sumali sa usapan sa labas.
My tears spilled non-stop then. Niyakap ko si Gian at humikbi sa balikat niya.
So he was wrong. He made a mistake. Pero kahit na. I hated my cousins' playboy ways, but I loved them enough to forgive them. Sana ganoon din ang daddy niya.
Lumapat ang kamay ni Gian sa likod ko na lalong nagpahikbi sa 'kin.
"Kailan ka pa naging iyakin?" At nagawa pang tumawa.
Hindi ako umimik. Umiiyak lang ako. Naririnig kong nag-uusap sina Kuya pero hindi ako makapag-focus. This was the first time this ever happened to us. But then again, my uncles had always been strict and proud. Especially si Tito Nicollo because he's very big on rules and traditions.
Pag-uwi namin, pagod na pagod ako. I went straight to my room to rest. Inabot ng ilang oras ang diskusyon nina Dad kanina. Pinag-uusapan pa nila ang best way para masolusyonan ang problema.
If word got out, pagpipiyestahan ng social media ang pamilya namin. They wanted to avoid that.
Pagkatapos kong makapag-shower at makapagpalit ng damit, doon ko lang napansin yung text message ni Racel sa 'kin.
RCG:
I heard the news. Are you ok?
Fuck it. Kung nakarating na sa kanya, malamang lahat na alam na rin ang tungkol do'n.
I was feeling so down and confused right now. Nakakaramdam na rin ako ng sakit ng ulo. I didn't think nasa tamang pag-iisip pa ako para kausapin siya.
I put my phone down and tried to sleep. Tried to, dahil ilang segundo pa lang, na-realize kong hindi ko kaya.
Paulit-ulit sa isip ko ang nangyari kanina.
Eventually, I jolted up and leaned against the headboard.
Bumaling ulit ako sa phone ko. It was late, so he was probably sleeping by now.
Me:
I'll be okay. Sorry for worrying you.
Dapat poporma na ulit ako sa paghiga. Nagulat ako nang tumunog ulit ang phone ko.
Shit. Bakit gising pa siya?
RCG:
You should be resting now.
Me:
Good night :(
I was really really tired. I should close my eyes then and let myself drift. But instead, I found myself hitting the call button.
My heart was pounding loudly in my ears when he answered.
"Are you okay?" came his velvet voice.
Napapikit ako sa narinig na pag-aalala sa boses niya.
I hummed my reply. "Bakit gising ka pa?" paos kong tinanong.
"I was thinking about you. Hindi ako makatulog."
"Alam mo na pala. Ang bilis ng balita." Bumuntonghininga ako. I closed my eyes.
"It will pass," malambing niyang sagot. "It's going to be okay."
"I'm worried for my cousin. He could be sent off to Germany now."
"I'm sure it will work out in the end. Trust me, it's going to be okay."
Nanatiling nakapikit ang mga mata ko. I stayed quiet, just listening to the sound of his warm, baritone voice. I felt really tired today. Kakaiyak siguro. I just wanted to listen to his voice now.
Kahit papaano, gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko. Who would imagine? Racel ignited this chaos inside me. But he was also that soft whisper that calmed my storm.
He stopped talking minutes ago. For a while now, ang paghinga lang niya ang pinapakinggan ko. Unti-unting bumabagsak ang mga mata ko. It was as if his presence alone was enough to melt the pressure away.
"Sorry," sinabi ko after a long while. "I'm just really tired. It's been a long day."
Racel said softly, "I'm sorry this is happening. But it will pass."
"Sana. Sana talaga. I guess nalulungkot lang ako," sabi ko, stifling a yawn.
"You love your family too much," tuloy niya sa marahang boses. "It's amazing to see. Minsan, naiinggit ako. I want your attention, too. But then I realize, that's your charm. Your love for your family is one of the reasons why I admire you."
My chest skipped a beat. Lumunok ako at bumuntonghininga ulit.
"I'm sorry I'm being unfair to you."
"Don't be. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."
Umiling ako kahit hindi niya nakikita.
"This is fine. Talking is enough." Just your voice is fine.
There was a faint sigh on his end. "I miss you."
Napangiti ako despite my exhausted state. My heart was skidding in my chest.
"Yeah," I breathed, closing my eyes. "Me too."