"I'm not confident with the ladies. I can't just ask someone out in a club. I'd like to say I'm a gentleman."
~ Christopher Parker
*Niall’s POV*
I stared out the car window as we drove back from the promotional lunch. I was avoiding the boy’s banter by watching the streams of water run down the foggy glass. The lunch consisted of two hours straight of old men in suits saying they liked our new album and they wished we could stay in New York for longer. They went on and on about putting our faces on billboards or toothbrushes or something but for the entire lunch, I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying; I merely looked outside and watched the rain pour down. Washing away everything from the dirt on the sidewalks to the tears on people’s cheeks. Washing away everything it could. But it couldn't wash away my thoughts. My thoughts of her.
Claudia. I don’t know what is it about her. I don’t even know if I really like her. She didn’t seem to like me and we spoke for barely any time at all. But there was something. Just something about her. Just the way she acted to the whole situation earlier this morninDg. It was completely different to what anyone else would have done. It was slightly crazy. I mean, she had pieces of glass stuck in her arm and she didn’t even notice and she didn’t even react when I took them out. How could she not notice? How could that not hurt her? But the doctor did say that he could tell from the scars on her arm she was no stranger to pain.
I’ve never understood self-harm. I have never understood why someone would purposely hurt themselves or damage their body and how they can think it will help. Or whatever they think it will do. Like I said, I don’t understand it. I don’t understand any part of it but that doesn’t mean I’m a stranger to it. We constantly have fans waving their arms in the air, showing obvious scars. If we meet them and see that they self harm, we try to help them and say they don’t need to do it and they are beautiful and deserve to treat themselves better, but this is different. The people I’ve seen, the fans, who have had scars on their arms, are normally 12-17 years old, so I’ve always assumed that people grow out of it. I’ve never seen anyone around my age who still has scars but she does. She has lots. And for some reason her age makes her different. I don’t why, it just does. It makes it harder for me to help and I don’t think I can. For some reason, it seems like she doesn’t want help.
“Niall, what is up with you? We have passed 3 Nando’s and 5 McDonald’s and you haven’t asked to stop for food even once!” Louis’ sudden voice shook me out of my trance as I dragged my eyes away from the window to face him. He was seated between me and Liam, while Harry and Zayn had called shotgun for the backwards seats. All the boys were staring at me as if I had done something wrong.
“Ahh, sorry I was just thinking and besides, I’m not that hungry.” I shrugged and looked back out the window only to be slapped on the head by Louis.
“You’re not hungry? Alright seriously, what is up?” Louis was staring at me with wide eyes and both Zayn and Harry did the same. Only Liam slight giggling could be heard from the other side of the car.
“What’s so funny Payne?” Louis spun to face Liam who was now silent from the sudden attention. I was staring at him just like everyone else, all of us trying to figure out what he was laughing about.
“Have you guys seriously not caught on? He has been acting like this all day, ever since the thing happened with the worker from the hotel.” Liam smirked and I dropped my head to the floor. How did he realize it was because her, even I wasn’t sure. Well at least, I didn’t think I was. I mean I barely know her.
“Oh no no, Niall I called dibs! You know I called dibs!” Harry spoke, crossing his arms over his chest looking. I don’t remember him calling dibs over her?
“Ahh, no Harry, I called dibs! I definitely called dibs!” Zayn was now shaking his head looking from me to Harry but I couldn’t remember him calling dibs either. How could they? None of us had met Claudia until today. And well not that I would call dibs, I mean I normally would over other girls but she was different. Even so, I did properly meet her first and I actually spoke to her, like a full on conversation unlike Harry and Zayn whom just had little run ins. So doesn’t that give me some kind of dibs? Or at least first shot or something.
“Guys come on, I called dibs in front of all of you! After I came back from the pool on the first night at the hotel! Remember I said I met a hot blonde in the lobby and I had total dibs on her!” Harry was now staring at Liam and Louis, waiting for either of them to back him up on his point. But I was still looking at the ground. How did Liam pick up on anything, I wasn’t being that obvious was I?
“No Harry! I’ve got dibs; I met her in the alley behind the hotel on the first night. She was the chick smoking that I said worked at the hotel. And you were all in the room when I spoke about her and when I said dibs!!” Zayn and Harry started bickering between themselves about who had first dibs. But I couldn’t focus enough on their conversation to say anything; my mind had jumped back to her.
So she was the blonde Harry told us about. The one who split tea on him and was laughing nervously when he caught her checking him out. And she was the one Zayn was with in the back alley, which meant she smoked. Usually that bothers me, quite a lot actually but I don’t know. It doesn’t seem to be a pressing matter right now. I was focused more on the fact that she had met two members of a famous boy band and not actually made a move on either of them. None of the boys, including myself, expect all girls to flirt with us or want to sleep with us, but they generally do. So why didn’t she? She had met Harry without a shirt on and Zayn in a back alley dark at night with no one around and she did nothing. Why? I had been searching my mind for an answer for so long that I blocked out Harry and Zayn’s bickering but then Liam’s loud voice drew me back into the conversation.
“GUYS! Seriously you two need to stop the pointless arguing of who is getting this girl because neither of you are and that is that. So stop calling dibs and stop saying you had her first, she’s a person, she does get a choice in this. And besides, you two both have millions of girls throwing themselves at you anyway, so just leave this one alone, alright?” Liam spoke slowly, pausing and staring at Harry then continuing and pausing and staring at Zayn. Both of their faces dropped as Liam finished speaking but I couldn’t help but grin. Harry and Zayn wouldn’t piss off Liam by doing something he had specifically told them not to do, which in this case worked in my favor.
“Now Niall, you obviously actually like the girl, unlike those two who just want to get into her pants, so what are you going to do about it?” Liam stared directly at me and all the other boys turned their heads in my direction. I felt my face go bright red and I opened my mouth to speak, the words not wanting to come out.
“Oh, I uhm I g-guess I could talk to her may-maybe.” I was stuttering like a babbling idiot. Great Niall, way to seem cool and smooth around your 4 best friends who have no problems with getting girls. Why do I have to do this…
It wasn’t that I didn’t have girls throwing themselves at me, it’s just I didn’t know how to act when they did. I would usually say something and screw it up and they would walk away. Well, not all girls but it does happen to me occasionally. And when you’re in a world famous boy band, those things aren’t really meant to happen, but they do. Both Liam and Louis have girlfriends but the rest of us are single. Which means I get to compete with Harry and Zayn for girls attention and it’s never fun…
“Come on Niall, this girl is fit! You need to get in there now because knowing girls like her, which I do, she will have a guy any day now!” Harry was right, she was fit and she could easily have any guy. So what chance did I have? People assume cause of the band that it makes getting girls easier, but that only works for fans really. Most other people judge us to be annoying little kids or horrible, well for lack of a better word, man whores. And when we really are neither, it makes everything harder.
“Yeah I know I’ll try speak to her soon, alright.” That was the end of the conversation and we sat in silence back to the hotel. I think the boys understood I didn’t want to discuss this further and I’m quite glad they didn’t try to. I was too jetlagged to want to do much more than sleep.
***
We got back to the room at 2:50pm only to be dragged away again, something about a meeting with some hotel staff. Can’t I just go to bed? We were taken to what seemed like a conference room, but instead of a long board office meeting table, there was couches and chairs. It seemed an awkward layout and I assumed they had done it just for us. Most places tried to do that, make areas more comfortable for us but we didn’t really mind.
We sat in the room anxiously; it was so uncomfortably quiet. I played with my baggy sweats and Harry and Louis talked in hushed tones when the door to the room opened and a bunch of people in suits and hotel uniforms walked in. I recognized our management and a few of the hotel staff from before but most I didn’t… wait!
Claudia walked into the room last, slowly closing the door and standing in the group of hotel workers. Why was she here? She flicked her blonde ponytail over her shoulder and was gripping onto a folder, a hotel blazer covering her arm. One of the older members of management got up and started talking about our stay at the Plaza and New York and some of the things we would be doing. But I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was staring up the front focusing on the man speaking, so luckily she didn’t notice my gazing. I felt a sharp nudge in my stomach and I turned to Liam who was staring at the front. The man from our management had finished talking and now a member of hotel staff was staring at me, waiting for my attention before beginning to speak.
“Boys, welcome! We are immensely glad you’re here and we hope that your next 6 weeks with us is well spent. We have a team of excellent workers at the hotel including private chefs, cleaners, butlers, masseuses and so forth that would be glad to help you with any issues you face. But the hotel, along with your management, have thought it best that for your stay at the hotel that it seems only fitting that you have a personal hotel assistant. Claudia Harries will be here day and night, organizing any functions you will be having at the hotel or if you wish to partake in any tourist activities simply ask her. Now we will leave you boys and Claudia alone for a moment so you can just get to know each other while we go discuss a current media situation.” The man speaking left the room first and was then followed by the rest of the people in the room, leaving just Claudia, the boys and me in the room. My heart was beating rapidly as I saw her get up and slowly smile, walking over to stand in front of us. Harry was grinning at me, suggestively nudging my shoulder but I ignored him.
“You again.” Zayn spoke first, grinning confidently up at Claudia who giggled back. Oh of course Zayn is able to make a girl laugh straight away with just two words. I’m not jealous, I swear! I’m really not!
“Yep me again, two times in one day! Aren’t you boys lucky!” She was blushing; I could tell she was nervous. She looked to the floor biting her lip; taking a deep breath in before opening the folder she was holding and started flicking through page after page.
“We certainly are lucky!” Harry spoke with complete confidence, sounding smooth and slick and not at all anxious. Great, both him and Zayn were already making moves on this girl, even after what happened in the car. Louis kicked Harry’s leg before clearing his throat to speak.
“So Claudia, tell us a little about yourself!” Oh Louis, that wasn’t abrupt at all! But I’m slightly glad he did ask; I would like to know as much about her as I can. Claudia looked up and stared straight at Louis.
“About myself? Oh I assure you, I’m really not that interesting!” Claudia looked uneasy, bringing her attention right back to the folder in her hand after she finished speaking. But Louis didn’t give up.
“I’m sure you are! Come on, just a little bit of information, I mean we are going to be with you for 6 weeks, we should at least get to know each other first.” Louis always had a way with words. He could say something that if it were from anyone else, would sound impolite and blunt but from Louis, it was fine. Claudia turned around, pulling a chair towards her and put her folder on the ground.
“Ok fine, what do you want to know?” She sat down, crossed her hands in her lap and folded her legs, a small grin on her cheeks.
“Oh nothing too personal! Just your name, age, where you live and where you grew up, about your job, your friends, boyfriend and family. Just that sort of stuff.” Louis was grinning and looking straight in my direction. He was doing it for me, I could tell, no wonder he was showing such an interest in the girl, he wanted me to find out about her. Because no doubt, she already knows about us.
“You’re pretty eager! Alright. My name is Claudia Harries, I’m nineteen years old and I live in New York City, obviously and have done so my entire life. I’m single, so I don’t have a boyfriend. I have two twin brothers who are seventeen years old but they live in England so I don’t see them that much. Other than them I don’t have any other family besides my best friend Alana and her sister Emily, who are practically my sisters. I got my job through Alana’s father when I was 17 and I have been working here for a year and a half. It’s an all right job; I get to meet lots of famous people, which is cool but its pretty long hours. And I’m rambling and you probably didn’t want to know that much about me, so I’ll stop now.”
“Woah, woah, woah! That was lots of information! Ok, let me get this straight; you’ve lived in New York your whole life and you don’t have any family besides your brothers who live in England… So who did you grow up with then? Like if you don’t have any family here, then who did you live with?” Louis sounded confused, his face mirroring that of the rest of the band. They all stared up at her, waiting for her to speak again. I watched Claudia as she started fiddling with her sleeve; she looked completely worried, her face frozen with a single expression.
“Oh uhm, I was put into a foster care system when I was 7 years old and before that I lived in an orphanage. My brothers were adopted when I was 4 years old but the family didn’t want me because I was too old. And then a year later the family that adopted them moved to England.” Her voice was shaky as she stared at the floor, refusing to make eye contact. She had been fiddling with her sleeve so profusely that the thread had now become undone.
“England you say! Where in England?” Louis spoke cheerfully, I was glad he avoided the topic of her childhood. She looked up from the floor and I could her eyes were glazed over, tears threatening to escape.
“Oh uhm, I’m not really sure. I think it’s a town about an hour out of London but I’ve never been to see them.” There was a small silence in the room and we all sat there slightly awkwardly, no one sure what to say. I was about to open my mouth to speak when the door suddenly burst open. Management and the hotel staff walked back into the room and said it was time for us to leave. We said goodbye to Claudia and were led back into our room. My mind was racing over the new information about her that I had just been told. The rest of the afternoon and early evening was full of interviews over the phone or reporters coming into our room. They asked the usual questions and we responded with the usual answers. I was counting down the moments until we were finished, so I could finally be alone and think over what I was feeling, because I honesty didn’t know.
***
“Just go speak to her!” Zayn was yelling into a pillow as he lay face down on the bed. We had all gathered in Louis and Liam’s room to discuss my “situation”. But for the past half an hour we hadn’t really discussed anything, everyone was just yelling, a lot!
“It’s not that simple Zayn!” I was getting frustrated. The boys didn’t understand that I didn’t want to go downstairs because I was afraid she would reject me, but I couldn’t very well say that to their faces!
“Niall, what isn’t simple about this? You go downstairs, you say hi and you make small talk then you ask her to go get some lunch sometime! It’s not like dating is new to you!” Louis, just like the rest of the boys, was getting fed up with me but I couldn’t help it. What if she said no?
“It’s late, we don’t even know if she’s here!” I was looking for any excuse not to go downstairs. I just had this feeling that if I went downstairs, something would go wrong. You know when you’re a kid and you’ve done something bad so you go and hide in your room but then your mum calls you to come to her. Your stomach drops and you really don’t want to go even though you’re not sure she is getting you in trouble but you are still really afraid, just incase she is. It’s like that feeling, expect instead of your mum, it’s an incredibly beautiful girl who could reject you and make you feel like shit.
“Niall, you’ll never know unless you go downstairs, so just go.” For the first time during the entire argument Liam looked up from his phone. He had been texting his girlfriend, Mila, the entire time and to be honest, I didn’t think he was even listening.
I always listened to Liam’s advice when it came to relationships, especially since he and Mila had been dating for almost a year now. They had met when we were on tour and fell for each other instantly. We had gone to a club after a concert one night and she was just there. Her friends went to the dance floor but Mila stayed at their table, so Liam took that as his chance to move. He has never told any of us what he had said to her but all we knew was he didn’t come back to us until the end of the night, when he returned with her number and a date for the next day.
“Alright, I’ll do it.” I jumped out of my seat and was heading for the door. I can do this; I’m going to do this. It’s easy, it’s simple, and it could go totally wrong. Oh god, what am I doing? I can’t do this! I stopped in my tracks and turned around only to nearly bash into the 4 other boys. They were standing side by side with their arms crossed and looking annoyed.
“You are not turning back now Horan, it’s the door or you go through us.” Louis pointed towards the door and raised his eyebrows. I had a choice of going downstairs to potential rejection, or getting ambushed by four lads and really, I would take anything over being attacked by those four. I spun to face the door and turned the handle slowly. I reached open the door and was about to step outside when I felt a heavy push on my back and I was thrown out into the hallway, only to hear the door slam behind me. Twats.
This was it. I was going downstairs, to go see her. I was going to see her at 11:30 at night.
I was going to ask her out.