"Pain is in the mind, an illusion.", the tall woman states in front of me, "We are here to test the boundaries of pain, therefore, the boundaries of the mind.".
I try not to look at her cold eyes, her long white coat trails just at her ankles, and there is the furthest down I can look considering the restraint on my head.
I watch as she and her blindly following colleagues take places around me, each with pads and tablets in hand that spin with a whirlwind of buttons and nobs.
"Test 1, begin with level 1." The woman states just before a racing stream of pain runs along my veins. I clench the plastic covering my teeth, but try and keep my composure. I can't let them know they can break me.
"Level 2."
More pain sears through me at a molecular level, and the screams that well up in my throat grow harder to contain.
"Level 3"
My body convulses with anguish. Every fiber of my being seems to pull apart, as though I will explode any moment.
"Stop!"
The pain subsides, but a sensation as though a million bees floating just beneath my skin remains. I am too weak to even cry, and am left in my icy prison. The restraints somehow become a saving grace, as I realize that I would fall off if they were not there.
"You did well, most subjects can't stay conscious after level 1."
I want to speak, but my lips refuse to open, so instead I remain the shaking child that I am.
"Take her back to her room, she will need her rest before the next test."
My body shakes more violently at the thought, and a few tears manage to roll down my pale face. Pairs of strong hands release my restraints, and I fall helpless to the floor. Quickly scooped up, my lifeless body is dragged down more endless halls until I am thrown into the small cot on my room.
I hear the click of the metal door locking and break down in silent tears. It is for my family, I think. But is it worth it?
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