Living in a Jumble of Wishes
Chapter 12
I woke up to my phone ringing. I groaned as I grabbed it from my bedside table. I saw Landon’s name on the screen so I answered it.
“Hello?” I said groggily.
“Did I wake you up?” He said, sounding surprised and guilty.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” I replied.
“Sorry! I thought you would be up by now. It’s already three in the afternoon,” he said and I sighed.
“Yeah but I stayed up late,” I said, yawning.
“How late?” He asked and I could imagine the frown on his face.
“Six in the morning,” I replied, wincing slightly as I said the words.
“Six?!” He said, shocked. “The people didn’t leave before six?”
“No, they did. They left around three but I stayed up till six.”
“Why would you do that?” He asked, sounding confused.
I sighed again. “Can you come over?”
“I was actually calling to ask if you wanted to come over. Hannah would be back in an hour and you could play with her but if you don’t want to that’s okay. I’ll tell her you can come another day.”
“No, I’ll go,” I replied. That would keep my mind off things. Plus, I missed the little girl.
“How about you come now so we can talk before Hannah returns?” he suggested.
“That sounds good,” I replied as I got out of bed. “I’ll just shower first so I’ll be there in around twenty minutes.”
“Okay, see you,” he said before hanging up. I was so grateful I had a friend like Landon. I couldn’t talk to any of the populars about this because Zack was their friend but Landon didn’t know Zack so he could listen to what I had to say about him.
I took a quick shower and didn’t bother putting on make-up or good clothes. I just put on a pair of jeans and a white hoodie. Landon wouldn’t judge me, I knew that. I didn’t need to look good when he was around but when the popular clique was around I had to look my best so that they don’t start talking about me like they talk about all the other people that don’t dress well.
I grabbed my phone and house keys before leaving my house and walking over to Landon’s place.
I rang the doorbell and a couple of seconds later, the door swung open, revealing Landon. He was dressed in black sweatpants and a long sleeved white shirt.
“Hey,” he said, stepping aside for me to come in.
I went in and we sat in the TV room which was slightly smaller than mine but just as cozy.
“What happened?” He asked softly, sitting next to me on the couch.
I closed my eyes when I felt the tears threatening to spill at the mere thought of what almost happened last night.
Suddenly, Landon’s arms were around me, pulling me into a tight hug.
And that was all it took for me to start crying.
He didn’t say anything. He just held me tighter as I cried.
When my tears stopped, I pulled away, feeling my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
“Sorry about that,” I muttered, clearing my throat awkwardly.
“Don’t apologize,” he said firmly. “You can talk to me,” he then added in a gentler tone.
“Last night,” I started, taking a deep breath to stop more tears from coming. “Zack, h-he tried to… He tried to—”
I didn’t have to finish my sentence—thankfully—because Landon’s eyes widened and he yelled, “That asshole!”
“Where does he live? I’ll go kill him right now!” Landon growled, his face turning slightly red.
“Landon calm down,” I said, touching his arm.
I watched as his eyes flashed with anger.
“He didn’t, though, right?” Landon asked his voice tight.
“No,” I replied, shaking my head quickly.
He relaxed slightly but I could still see his jaw clenched.
We were silent for a bit and I just stared at the black screen of the TV, memories of last night haunting me, making me shake slightly.
Landon must’ve noticed because he pulled me closer to him and hugged me again.
“You should’ve called me last night,” he murmured into my hair, sounding much calmer.
“It was late. I didn’t want to bother you,” I said honestly.
He pulled away slightly to look into my eyes.
“Don’t you ever think that again. When you need me, call me. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning. I’m your friend and friends are always there for each other,” he said firmly.
I felt a lump in my throat at his words so I just hugged him tighter whispered, “Thank you.”
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Landon said a few minutes later.
I just shrugged. I wanted to be with Zack. I wanted to be with the hottest, most popular guy at school.
“I mean it, Pamela. And I swear if he ever comes near you again I will hunt him down and beat him till he’s dead.”
His eyes were filled with anger again, all of it directed towards Zack.
“You’re a little scary right now,” I said quietly. I never thought Landon could get that angry.
All the anger vanished from his eyes and he blinked at me.
“I am?” he said, taken aback.
I nodded my head slightly.
“Sorry,” he said, looking ashamed all of a sudden.
“Don’t apologize,” I mimicked his words from earlier. “I know the anger is not directed at me so you’re not scaring me.”
“That’s good,” he said, relieved.
I chuckled. “You didn’t think I would be scared of you right?” I asked amusedly.
He scratched the back of his neck as he answered, “Actually I did. I thought I scared you.”
“You don’t scare me,” I said, smirking at him. “You’re as gentle as a butterfly.”
“Butterfly?” He choked out, his eyes wide. “What the hell? Where did that come from? I am not a butterfly!”
“No, no,” I said shaking my head. “I said you are like a butterfly.”
He scowled and I held in a laugh. Teasing him was so much fun.
“I am not like a butterfly, okay? Don’t say that again,” he said, still scowling.
I laughed at him. “Relax, I was just kidding. But seriously, though, I know you’re a calm person so you don’t scare me.”
He grinned, satisfied with my words.
“That’s much better,” he said. “Calm people are always the smart people.”
I snorted. “Well you broke that rule.”
“Hey!” He said, looking offended and I chuckled.
“Stop teasing me,” he whined, sounding like a little girl. I stared at him, shocked at the way he sounded.
“Just don’t say anything please,” he said quickly, looking embarrassed.
I burst out laughing as he blushed. I patted his shoulder and he scowled at me.
Moments of silence passed and I thought about how grateful I was to have Landon by my side. He was really a true friend. Telling him about what Zack did and having him hug me while I cried really made me feel better and I was grateful for that. I was also grateful that he could make me laugh and forget everything.
“I want ice-cream,” I muttered.
“Want to go to the ice-cream shop?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at me.
“But Hannah will be here soon,” I pointed out.
“It’s okay, she can wait,” he replied, shrugging.
“Okay then let’s go,” I said, agreeing quickly because I really wanted to have some ice-cream right now. I would be back to play with Hannah all the afternoon so it’s okay if we go to the ice-cream shop for a bit.
We walked the short distance to the ice-cream shop and Matilda smiled when she saw us. We ordered and I paid this time since it was my turn.
Matilda gave us a piece of chocolate cake as if she knew that I needed it right now. I thanked her and as usual, Landon and I started fighting over the chocolate cake.
“You know what?” He said suddenly. “I will give you the extra bite today because you had a bad night.”
“I had a really bad night. I should have all the chocolate cake,” I said.
“No way!” He replied. “I was trying to be nice but you don’t even deserve the extra bite!”
He then took a huge piece of cake and ate it.
“Hey! That’s more than half!”
He smirked at me and tried to take another piece but I quickly took the plate and put it in my lap.
I started eating the cake on my own then suddenly, Landon stood up and sat next to me on the booth. I couldn’t get away because there was a wall on the other side. I pulled the plate away and scowled at him.
“No! Mine!” I said when he tried to eat a piece of it.
I took the final piece and shoved it into my mouth even though it was too big.
He burst out laughing when he saw me. “Your face is going to burst!”
I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t with all the cake in my mouth. When I swallowed, I choked and started coughing.
That made him laugh even harder and I slapped his head, trying to get rid of my coughing.
“Stop laughing at me!” I ordered him when I was finally able to breathe again.
“You look funny so I will laugh,” he said and I stuck my tongue out at him childishly. We act like little kids sometimes but that is okay because it makes us have more fun and get away from all the seriousness.
We stayed there for the next twenty minutes, eating our ice-cream and laughing together. He made me forget all that had happened the previous night and that’s what I liked the most about him.
He was really amazing.
When we returned to his house, we found that Hannah was already there.
“Pam Pam!” She said excitedly when she saw me and ran towards me. I bent down and gave her a hug.
“You’re going to play with me?” She asked, widening her green eyes.
“Of course!” I replied, ruffling her red hair.
“Yay!” She said then she frowned.
“But I don’t have a princess dress that would fit you,” she said.
Landon laughed and I smiled. “It’s okay, I don’t have to wear a princess dress.”
She pouted but then she took my hand and pulled me towards her room, already excited about spending time with me.
“I’m in my room if you girls need anything,” Landon said as he walked towards his room.
“You’re not going to play with us?” I asked him, faking shock.
“No,” he said firmly, shooting me a scowl.
“Landon is no fun!” Hannah said to me. “You should live here, not him!”
I chuckled. “But he’s your brother. You will miss him if he left.”
She seemed to think about it for a moment, noticing that I had a point.
“Then you will both live here!” She said, her eyes lighting up as she found the perfect solution.
“But then I will miss my parents,” I said to her, trying to sound sad.
She pouted.
“I live only five minutes away,” I then said to her. “I can always come over.”
She smiled, satisfied with my answer.
Landon had already went to his room by now so it was just Hannah and me.
“I want to wear my blue princess dress!” She said cheerfully. “Come see it!”
I walked over to her closet with her and she took out a tiny baby blue dress.
“That’s such a pretty dress!” I told her. “I’ll help you put it on.”
“Okay!” She said, taking off the jeans and shirt she was wearing. I helped her put on the dress and she smiled when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She looked so adorable!
We then set a small plastic table with her stuffed animals on different colored chairs and then we got little cakes and cookies from the kitchen and put them on the table.
We sat in our chairs and she started talking as if she were a princess.
I smiled at her cuteness.
An hour later, she got bored and said that she wanted to color. Half of the cookies and cakes were gone by now.
She took off the princess dress and put on her jeans and shirt again. She took out her Barbie coloring book and her pencils. She set them on her table and started coloring.
I told her that I was going to talk to Landon for a bit and she agreed since she was busy coloring.
I knocked on his door but I didn’t hear an answer so I slowly opened the door. I peaked in and saw him sleeping on his bed.
I slowly walked inside and wanted to wake him up but I couldn’t.
I have a problem when it comes to sleeping people. I don’t like waking anyone up. Everyone looks so peaceful while sleeping so I will feel guilty if I wake them up. And Landon was no exception.
So I just lay next to him on the bed and soon I was asleep as well. I guess I was more tired than I thought I was.
I woke up when I felt someone playing with my hair. I opened my eyes and found Landon next to me, laying on his stomach, facing the wall, and playing with my hair.
I tilted my head to look at his face and his fingers stopped playing with my hair and his face turned to look at me.
He smiled at me when our eyes met and I smiled back.
“I didn’t want to wake you up,” I explained why I was sleeping next to him.
“It’s okay,” he replied, turning around so that he was lying on his back.
“I had a weird dream,” I said, chuckling as I remembered it.
“What was it?” He asked curiously.
“It was about you,” I replied, biting my lips to stop myself from laughing.
“Me?” He echoed and I nodded.
“You were being chased by a huge white polar bear,” I said.
“And then what happened?” He asked, his eyes widening, surprised about why I was laughing while the dream seemed horrible.
“I don’t know but you suddenly stopped and gave it a hug,” I said and he burst out laughing. I joined him as I recalled my dream.
“That is a weird dream,” he said when we stopped laughing and I nodded.
My phone started vibrating, interrupting our conversation.
It was my parents. I grinned as I answered.
“Hello,” I said into the phone.
“Hi sweetie! How are you?” Mom yelled into the phone. “We miss you.”
“Hi mom, I’m good and I miss you too,” I said to her. “How’s Paris?”
“Oh it’s beautiful! The pictures are not a fraction of how beautiful it is! The Eiffel Tower is so huge, more than you can imagine, and at the top it’s so cold but so worth it. Don’t get me started on Chateau de Versailles,” My mom rambled happily and I listened to her with a smile on my face before I heard my dad’s voice saying, ‘give me that.’
Then mom’s voice faded and dad’s much calmer voice said, “Hi Pamela, how are you?”
“Hi dad!” I said, chuckling as I heard my mom yelling at him. “I’m good but you won’t be good after you hang up.”
He laughed. “Your mom is trying to kill me even before I hang up.”
My mom was still yelling at him and I laughed at them.
We talked about Paris and they asked if everything was okay and if I needed anything but I told them that I was fine. Of course I didn’t mention what happened with Zack to them. I don’t want them to worry about me. Nothing happened, anyway.
When I hung up Landon asked, “They’re having fun?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “They love it there.”
“That’s nice,” he said. Then he asked, “Didn’t you want to go with them?”
I shrugged. “It’s nice for them to spend time alone without me. I’ll go there someday.”
“I’ll take you to Paris,” he joked and I laughed.
“That would be nice,” I then said. I imagined us going up to the Eiffel Tower and going to Disneyland together and it made me smile.
“Really? You would go with me?” He asked, surprised.
“Of course,” I replied. As weird as it sounds, Landon is the only person I can imagine going to Paris with. I don’t know if it’s because he was the first person to ever mention it to me or just because he seemed like the best partner to travel with.
“Cool,” he said, giving me a smile.
I got up from his bed and just as I was about to walk to the door to see Hannah, someone knocked.
“Come in,” Landon called.
Selena came in and smiled at me.
“Hello,” she said.
“Hi,” I replied, smiling politely.
“Lunch is ready,” She told us. “Hannah is waiting for you in the kitchen.”
“Okay, we’re coming,” Landon said as he stood up from his bed and followed me to the kitchen.
Hannah was sitting in one of the chairs with a slice of pizza in front of her.
“Pam Pam sit next to me!” She said and I smiled.
“Okay,” I said and sat next to her. Landon sat across from me with his mom next to him.
We talked and laughed throughout lunch and I really felt as if I belonged here. I loved Landon, Hannah, and Selena. They were really friendly and amazing. They didn’t make me feel left out at any moment and I loved that. I was comfortable with them.
After lunch, Hannah went to take a nap while Landon and I sat in the TV room.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” I said.
“Sure,” he replied.
I didn’t know how I should ask so I said it very bluntly. “Where is your dad?” I asked.
“You’re blunt,” he joked and I blushed.
“Sorry,” I said quickly. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!”
“No it’s okay,” he said to me. A distant look was on his face and I could see a mixture of emotions but none of them was good. There was anger, sadness, guilt, fear, and mostly pain.
I held his hand because I felt like it’s a small friendly gesture that might just help a little bit. I think it worked because when he faced me again, those emotions were gone.
“He’s just… Not around,” Landon finally said, as if searching for the right words. I knew better than to ask him to explain more. This seemed too personal and it wasn’t any of my business. I was very curious now especially since I never even saw pictures of his dad around the house. It’s like he never lived here or even existed. Maybe he left them, was my thought, but I couldn’t know for sure.
“I’m sorry for that,” I said to him. “It must be hard living without a father but I’m sure you’re doing a good job at protecting your mom and sister.”
“I try my best,” he said after a minute of silence. “I would never take his place but I will always be there for my family.”
“I know that,” I replied. I knew how much he loved his family. They were lucky to have him.
I gave him a hug because I felt like he needed one right now. I also felt slightly guilty for opening up a topic that was clearly very sensitive.
“Thank you,” he finally told me, cutting my thought.
“What are friends for?” I replied, not knowing what else to say and he smiled at me.
A couple of hours later, I went back home because it was starting to get dark outside.
I locked the door behind me and went upstairs to my room. I felt so alone without my parents here and without having Zack to text so at eight o'clock I was asleep. I haven’t slept that early since I was around six years old, was my last thought before I fell into dreamless sleep.
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Thank you for reading! :)
Have a nice day! <3