And as I sit here today, I can see the snow slowly clearing and as it slowly clears, I think. I honestly think about how much my life has changed since I met and lost Sam. Honestly still today, my life is still a shattered mess and it is still lying broken in bits and it is all because of a boy that I thought was my Christmas miracle but turned out to be my Christmas nightmare. He was the person who changed my perception of Christmas and he was the person who changed the control I had on my life and to be honest, I still don't have control and I know it's a matter of time before I regain control of my life. And this was all caused by one boy who lit up like an angel but really was a devil inside. He changed and ruined my life and he shattered me. And I know that as I try to stand strong today, I know I am not the same person and I was and I know now that I will never be that person again. And it is all because of a boy by the name of Sam Pottorff who ruined and changed my life forever.