As I think about how to continue this story, I stop and think. I think about "what if?" which for me is an incredibly trivial and pointless question because I already experiencing the fallout of it all but with a question like what if, it makes me think about what if I hadn't of met him? What if I hadn't joint the collab channel of O2L (Our Second Life- I will get to this later on in the story as it is related to J.C) and What if I hadn't pushed J.C away when I needed him the most? I suppose with a question like "What if?" you need an answer to find a pathway out of the ever spiralling accusations of how everything could have turned out and to be honest, I do not have the answer even in this fallout and aftermath and even though I am currently experiencing it all. And I suppose as I re-begin my story, I know this question is sitting in the back of my mind waiting for an answer and waiting for a pathway out.