Chapter 15; Deserving the Worst, Imprints and Returning Lost Things
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Smoke.
Everywhere.
It thickens the air, puffs and clouds of it swirling as it fills the night sky. I try to force my eyes to stay open, but they can't. Not for long enough, anyway. I can't even see my hand when I hold it out in front of my face and flex my fingers, because it's enveloped and hidden in the endless black fog. And I'm trying to back away, to get away, but the smoke curls around and invades me. First my mouth, then my nose, until I'm choking on it and gasping for anything but this. My throat burns like never before.
Flames.
They lick up the side of the building, their crackling and hissing sounding chorused. They are the brightest shades of orange and red I've ever seen. I can feel the heat radiating off of them as they illuminate the night and flash wildly, and I wonder how much they will destroy as they continue. I get my answer as everything begins to turn black and crumble before me, and I can't handle it.
It wasn't suppose to be this way.
And then, screaming.
It rings through the air, piercing and high strung, scared and desperate.
And then,
"Save her! Please! You have to save her!"
Sirens. Crying. And it seems as if the world is falling to pieces, right in front of my eyes.
All your fault all your fault
She would hate you if she ever knew what you did
"Drew!"
My heart pounds wildly in my chest as I bolt upright in bed, immediately realizing every inch of me is drenched in sweat. My clothes cling to my body and my breathing is quick, heavy, uneven. I wipe my forearm down across my face and pull together my thoughts as they slowly come to me.
By now, I should be expecting this. It's been happening every night, ever since the accident; these dreams, these nightmares. But every time, it still has the ability to take my breath away, to make me feel sick to my stomach, to make me think that I'm reliving that night as if it wasn't three years ago but right now instead. It's like I'm being ripped from reality, and thrown back into that very moment; the only moment in my life where I've ever been truly terrified. And even though I could run away from all of it during the day, keep it all locked up, it never failed to find a way to creep up on me while I slept.
Because it was always with me, lurking around the farthest corners of my mind, waiting to suck me in at all the wrong moments; the reality of the accident, the reality of what was all my fault.
And every time I think it might have finally drifted away, it always comes back, reminding me there's always something that hangs over my head; something that I will never be able to take back or forget. Something that could've been prevented, if I had only paid attention.
But I deserved it.
So now, I try to get my trembling under control and fake a smile as I realize my sister is standing at my bedside. She's in a bright green princess dress with a large tear along the bottom hem, and has some kind of pastel pink powder smudged across her cheek. Her light brown hair falls in messy waves around her face, tangling at the edges.
And her delicate hand rests on my arm, little fingers all warm and soft, and she looks startled. Her blue eyes which are usually so filled with light are now filled with fear as she looks at me. Sunlight falls upon her face as it streams through my window, and I know I've slept in for way too long if my sister was sent to wake me up.
And even though I want desperately to get up and pull back those curtains, rewind time and just sleep forever, I don't. Because I can't, and me staying in bed all day wouldn't really help anyone anyway, including myself.
"Hey Ally," I manage, hoping she's oblivious to the shaking that still slightly registers in my voice. Who would've thought that even after three years of having the same exact dream it could still drain the life out of me every morning.
She raises a little brown eyebrow at me, her hand sliding back down to her side. But her scared expression suddenly changes into a huge grin, and I find myself questioning her motives for actually being in my room.
"You've got a phone call." She says, giggling as she pulls my cell phone out from behind her back and holds it out to me.
I frown slightly, looking down at her. "Ally? What are you doing with my phone?"
Another fit of giggles erupts from her as she shrugs her shoulders innocently. "I don't know." She sings.
But then my heart skips a beat. A call? On my cell phone?
Who could that be?
In one quick movement I reach down and snatch the phone from her hand, half excited and half nervous. I stick it up to my ear, almost dropping it along the way. "Hello?" I say, watching Ally as she begins to teeter on her heels and I grin at her.
"Hello?" A slow voice returns, and I relax as I recognize it as Odie's familiar tone on the other end, obviously groggy from not enough sleep.
But, nonetheless, this was still a rare occasion. Not only did Odie hardly ever call, but he especially made a point to never call on the weekends. I had to take a quick look at the calendar thrown onto my desk in the corner to make sure that it was in fact Saturday, and I hadn't slept for two days or something.
"Hey Odie," I say back, watching as my sister lifts up her arms and holds them out and begins to twirl in a circle, nearly hitting my night stand as she continues.
"Hey Drew," he says, and then pauses, as if thinking something over. "I need your help with something."
Now I definitely know something is strange. Odie may be old, but he's stubborn. The only time he ever accepts help with anything is when I give him no choice, and there has never actually been any kind of situation where he has asked for it directly.
So, only a few seconds into the actual phone call, and I had already caught two red flags which went against every moral Odie ever had.
"Okay," I respond suspiciously, kind of hesitant. I think Odie senses I know something's wrong, because he coughs nervously on the other end. "What kind of thing do you need help with?"
There's another long pause. "Ummm" He mumbles, "I want to move a few shelves around."
I think it over.
We've never moved shelves before. Either he now suddenly has a taste for redecorating, or something is definitely up.
"Alright, I'll be there in ten." I say, and then I hang up the phone.
-HAILEY'S POINT OF VIEW-
Even during the day after, I could still feel where Drew's hand had grabbed mine.
It was like my skin had imprints of his fingertips, woven in and permanent. That's why, even while I was sitting at the coffee shop with Millie on Saturday morning going over the details of my date, I couldn't stop looking at my hand. Remembering exactly what it felt like to feel his touch.
I was sipping on my second cup of coffee, while Millie was working on her third. It wasn't nearly as good as the diner's coffee from last night, but at the moment I would drink anything to subdue my unsettling sleepiness that came along with waking up so early. But, I wouldn't exactly feel so exhausted if Millie hadn't woken me up as soon as the sun rose with thirty text messages, just so she could whisk me out the door and hound me for every single detail of last night.
And, since Millie was my best friend, I was glad to tell her all about it. But some parts, I kept secret. Not because they were bad to share, or because I wasn't suppose to, but because they felt personal, like something I wanted me and Drew to only have.
And maybe that seems selfish, but then I guess I'm selfish.
So in other words, she heard all about the stories we told each other and where he took me, and the hilarious pancake coincidence and even the ride home on the motorcycle. But, she didn't hear about the walk there, when I had asked him if we could start over. She hadn't heard about what he told me on the motorcycle, or how badly I wanted to kiss him when he stood on the sidewalk in front of my house.
Either way, it still felt like a dream. Like I was holding onto sentences that now seemed like whispers, glimpses of his face which now when I thought about it felt like I was watching a movie, and the taste of sweet syrup and the night air which now were all faded in my hazy, tired mind.
"Hailey?" Millie said loudly, waving her baby blue nails in front of my face, nearly scratching my nose. "Hailey!"
I don't even flinch, still absorbed in my where my mind was wandering. And then, I look up at her. Her expression is cynical, her arms are crossed. Had she been saying something?
"Yeah?" I ask, holding my coffee cup so tightly in my hand that my knuckles turn white.
"So when are you guys going out again?" she asks, flicking her straight blond hair over her shoulder effortlessly.
"What?" I shake my head, slowly getting back into reality and not catching the end of her question.
"When are you guys going out on another date?"
Then suddenly, without any warning, her sentence causes my heart to drop. I had been so caught up in last night being so perfect that I hadn't even realized we had never even talked about a second date. All we said was "See you on Monday," which was clearly work related, but not any time after.
I now find myself questioning the perfect perception I had of our date.
Had he thought the same of it as I did? He did say he had a good time- but was that only to be polite?
Is that why he didn't kiss me at the end? Not because he was being modest or thinking that I wouldn't want to or whatever, but because he wasn't starting to feel the same way about me that I was about him?
I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so conflicted.
"Uh- we didn't exactly mention a second date of any sorts." Is all I say, even though I could swim through all the thoughts pooling in my mind.
She looks surprised at my response, placing her coffee down onto the table. "Well, with a date like that, I'm sure there will be a second one." And then she grins at me.
"Millie-" I choke out, now anxious, "What if I'm being unrealistic? What if he didn't think the date was as great as I thought it was?"
Millie just rolls her eyes, obviously thinking I'm ridiculous or silly or both. "Oh come on. You can't seriously be thinking that right now. It sounds like you guys had a great time."
"Yeah," I say, "But that might just be what it sounds like because that's how I saw it. What if he had a terrible time?"
She just laughs lightly, rolling her eyes once again. "Wow Hailey, when did you ever get so paranoid?"
I scowl at her. I wasn't paranoid, I just- I didn't want to be getting myself into a situation like this without any reassurance.
"Whatever. I guess I'll find out on Monday then." I said, crossing my arms and slumping back into my seat. The coffee I was sipping before now looked horribly unappealing, so I set it down on the table with no intention of picking it up again.
Millie gave me a sympathetic look and reached over the table to put her hand on my shoulder. She sighed. "Hailey, don't worry. I'm sure he had just as good of a time as you did. And when there is a second date- which I know there will be- let me know."
Then she leaned back, taking another large gulp from her cup. I put my elbows on the table, eyeing her suspiciously.
"Why would you want me to let you know?" I asked, still wondering why exactly she was so interested.
"Because, I want to help you get ready of course!" She smiled, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I just laughed.
Ever since we met, being the serious Barbie and dramatic she was, she had also begged me to let her give me a make over. I would always deny though, knowing I'd probably end up in coats of make up and heels that were ten inches high. I mean, I loved getting dressed up and looking pretty, but Millie always took things a little over the top, which for me, didn't really work out.
I was shaking my head at her. "Oh no." I breathed.
"Oh yes." she countered excitedly, beaming at me. I just laughed again, and then her expression turned serious.
"Plus, I think I'd like to properly meet him." she added, and I finally got where she had been going with all of this. By meeting him, she meant threatening him to be nice to me or she would stab him with the end of her earrings.
"But you've already met him. Twice." I said, recalling the very first time we met, when I nearly ran him over. Plus, the time we drove him home while he was in and out of consciousness, bloody and bandaged up.
"Seriously Hailey?" she snorted, "I hardly think screaming at him about car troubles and driving him home while he was too beat up to function hardly counts as actually meeting him."
"I think it does." I added quickly, smirking at her.
She frowned at me. "You're lucky I don't have my spiky earrings with me right now. They'd be going into your arm."
"I'll keep that in mind when you ask to go meet him again." I teased.
"You better." Was all she said.
-DREW'S POINT OF VIEW-
"I'm here!" I called out, listening to the ringing bell above the door as I stepped inside of the record store. It looked empty, the meek sunlight coming through all the large windows and reflecting onto everything. Unlike most of the time, no music was playing, which made it all seem too quiet and too strange.
Finally, realizing Odie must've not heard me because he was probably in the back room, I headed over there, opening the door quietly. "Odie?" I called out again, scanning the area.
My eyes finally landed on his office farther in the back where I spotted him, reaching his arm up onto a shelf to grab something down. I quickly hurried over there, grabbing it down for him once I was at his side and handing it to him.
He put his hands on his hips after placing the item on his desk. I smiled. "I'm not that old you know- I may not be able to move around shelves by myself but I can sure still grab things off of them." He said as he wiped his hands on his jeans.
"Well, I rather not take the chance." I teased, grinning at him.
He sighed in defeat and laughed, walking around me to head into the main area of the back room that had the couches. He gestured for me to follow him and sit on one, and I did, relaxing onto the couch across the one he was sitting on.
"I thought we were going to move shelves." I said, raising my eyebrow at him. I knew we weren't going to, but I wondered what he had actually called me down here for then.
He laughed, a short sarcastic kind of chuckle and rolled his eyes at me. "Oh please. You and I both know this store hasn't been rearranged since it opened and it's not going to happen any time soon."
"Oh," I shrugged, pretending like I didn't already know that. "Why did you call me then?"
He looked at me like that was the dumbest thing that had ever come out of my mouth. I leaned forward, waiting for an answer.
"Well, since you like to get straight to the point," he paused, "I have something to tell you."
My expression changed. Now I was really curious. What would Odie have to tell me? And why was it so important he had to tell me in person instead of over the phone?
"What is it?" I asked, a little anxious. I shifted in my seat, trying to figure out what he was going to say next.
"But before I tell you, I'd like to hear about how your date went first."
Then, it finally clicked.
He didn't have anything to tell me. He didn't have shelves he wanted to move or any reason in particular to ask me to come down to the store. He asked me to come down because he wanted to make sure I didn't piss her off or something and that she would for sure, be coming back on Monday and not giving in her two week's notice instead.
Maybe I would be a little hurt, because really, I always try to be on my best behavior. But, Odie knows me better then anyone. And he definitely knows that when I'm not in a good mood- I'm really not in a good mood. So I couldn't really be mad at him; I would've probably done the same thing in his position.
"You know, if I didn't think you were one of the best people on this planet I would take that as an insult." I rolled my eyes and sunk back into the couch.
"Take what as an insult?" He asked innocently like he had no idea.
I humored him. "You want to know if I screwed up so you'll know that if she comes back to work on Monday she won't be quitting or something, right?"
He instantly looked shocked. "Uh- no, not exactly. I actually just really wanted to know how it went because it has to do with what I'm going to tell you."
My face heats up almost immediately. I shift in my seat again. "Oh- uh, then it actually went really well I guess." I smiled at him. "Thanks for suggesting the diner. She loved it."
He clapped his hands together. "I knew she would!"
But the tone of his voice made me suddenly curious. Like he knew something I didn't know. "How did you know?" I questioned.
"She told me she used to go there with her mom when she was little, that she loved it there and everything."
I recalled her mentioning she had been there before, but never really clarified when. I guess no matter how well I thought I was getting to know her, I would always forget to ask her something.
So once again, I got straight to the point.
"So what is this big announcement that you for some reason you had to know about our date to tell me?"
"Well," he began, smirking at me. "I wanted to know if you would be fine with working at the shop with Hailey alone this week."
I didn't see that one coming. I looked at him, a little confused. "Why? Where are you going?"
"Lacy and I are going on a trip up to a cabin with our grand kids. We're leaving on Sunday and won't be back until next Saturday, so I just wanted to make sure you two would be fine."
Lacy is his wife, which I had only met once or twice but she was definitely extremely nice. She was one of those 'Oh you're coming over? Let me make you eight dozen cookies' types. She was always smiling, and had very light red hair. I had no idea how her and Odie made such a good couple, but they did.
"I guess that's fine." I shrugged. I couldn't really understand why he was asking my permission if it was okay, but I guess he was just being considerate. Really though, I was nervous. I couldn't deny it anymore- I liked Hailey. I liked her a lot. And I knew that if I spent even more time with her, she would eventually find out about what I did. And she would hate me.
And I didn't want her to hate me.
-HAILEY'S POINT OF VIEW-
It took Millie and I a little while longer to finish up at the coffee shop, and only a little while longer for her to take me back home. I was currently standing on the edge of the curb, waving at her as she waved back and drove away.
I loved that Millie was always so willing to take me everywhere, but I did really miss having my own car. I could only listen to so many pop songs before my ears started to bleed, which I was convinced would happen any day now.
Either way, I didn't really have a choice. But, when I got my very first pay check this week- I'd be on the road to recovery with the whole car damage deal, and after a few more paychecks, I would be driving myself around again in no time.
I walked up the driveway, squinting as the sun beat down on my back and I fished the keys from my pocket. They jingled in my hand, but immediately slipped from my hot fingers and onto the floor. I reached down to get them, and that's when I noticed something next to the door mat, almost entirely tucked underneath and nearly impossible to notice. If I hadn't dropped my keys, I would've never had seen it there.
I picked it up in my hand, turning it over and examining it up close. I only had gotten glances of it before, but now I could see it clearly. The string woven together messily, in a bad attempt to make some kind of braid or pattern. All one color, very thin, fading and shredding a little from all the wear.
Drew had dropped his bracelet last night. I wondered if he had even noticed he lost it; I mean, I had never seen him take it off, and now it was with me? It felt a little strange- having something of his that was most likely important.
I could imagine it on his wrist, him running it between his fingers whenever he got nervous or didn't have anything to say or was just simply bored.
Now, I had the perfect excuse to go talk to him. Now, I had the perfect excuse to go over to his house and see whether or not he was actually starting to feel the same way I was.
Because what do you do with lost things? You return them.
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I hope you all enjoyed chapter 15! I wanted to add more, but decided it would be best to update what I had because its been a little while longer than usual.
And once again, remember to vote, comment, vote, comment, comment, leave me a question, and come back for the next chapter! Thank you all so much! <3
Oh, and since this story is semi-music related, what are your guy's favorite songs right now? Let me know. (: