"Ella!"
Somebody shook my shoulder frantically. I blinked my eyes open against a dull pain in my head, realizing that I was sprawled on the bathroom floor. Despite the faint hum of pain in my head, I scrambled to stand up and get off the floor. Hands helped me up, supporting me.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I said, standing taller.
Abbie frowned. "Oh, Ella. You poor thing! That fall must have hurt."
I gulped and nodded.
"What happened out there? You and Holden looked miles apart."
"I don't want to talk about it," I mumbled, turning my face away from Abbie.
She pulled me into a tight hug, not prying. When she led me out of the bathroom, I was ashamed to look anybody in the eye. They had all probably seen my fall. I didn't want their sympathy.
"Miss Sarah!" Abbie called, pushing the dressing room door open.
My teacher rushed over, inspecting me for injuries. "What hurts? Do you see double? Do you need an ice pack?"
I shook my head.
"Get her an ice pack!"
I let out a sound of protest, looking to see who was getting the useless thing. Where was I supposed to put it? My head hurt a little, but it wasn't like I had any feeling in my arm. Instead of taking in the scene before me, people looking at me weird, someone digging through a cooler, my eyes snapped to a chair at the far back. The golden hair caught my attention, revealing a very distressed Holden with his head in his hands. I'd known him for a long time, and I'd seen almost every emotion out of him. But I had never once seen Holden Andersen cry.
He raised his head, as if sensing my gaze, and looked directly at me. His face was wet with tears.
I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut. When I opened them again, Holden was gone.
***
"Ella, dear, I need to talk to you."
My mother and grandmother were in the room with me, talking soothingly. I knew I was being distant with them, but at least I wasn't crying. Did that make me brave?
"Yes, Miss Sarah," I mumbled.
She glanced at Mom and Mimi. "Would you mind if...?"
"Oh, of course," Mom said. "I was just going to get her some tea in the lobby, anyway."
The two of them made their way out of the hotel room, leaving the door to shut with a faint click. I waited a second before looking at Miss Sarah.
"The group got first, if you wanted to know."
I nodded. I knew they would.
"Your duet got a mention. Holden accepted a medal for you. Everyone was very pleased to know that you were okay."
I stayed quiet.
"Are you okay?"
She had stressed the first word, somehow hinting at more than a physical injury. Was I okay? I wondered.
"I suppose. It's all rainbows and lollipops in my life right now," I replied. I was feeling too depressed to appreciate the sarcasm in that comment.
Miss Sarah sighed. "You're not dumb, Ella, and neither am I. You and Holden were fine just before you went out onstage. As soon as you stepped out, though, I could sense that something was wrong. You two didn't connect the way you usually do. You didn't connect at all..."
She seemed so puzzled. I wasn't about to enlighten her, though.
"I guess the nerves were getting to you," she continued, "Though that's odd for both of you. I'm glad you're okay, don't get me wrong, but I can't say I'm not disappointed in you."
I hung my head. She was so good to me, and I'd let her down.
"Do you want to try your duet again?" She asked gently, "At a smaller competition? I can have that arranged."
"No!" I snapped.
Miss Sarah frowned. "Are you sure? Ella, I really think it would be good for you to-"
"Please, Miss Sarah! Don't make me! At least don't make me dance with Holden!" I was begging her now, chin trembling. I couldn't handle it. I was sure I couldn't.
"Oh, honey, don't cry! I won't make you if you don't want to. Shhhh..."
She shushed me before the waterworks started, a sad look on her face. I worked extra hard to hold myself together, her disappointment clinging to me even after she left.
Mom and Mimi came in, carrying a styrofoam cup of tea.
"Mom," I started, letting the steam from the cup drift up to my face, "What's the most awkward situation you've been in?"
"There are so many," she replied.
"Tell me some of them?"
She pondered that for a second.
"There was that time, when I was your age, that I ripped my dress at a formal dance," She began, "Oh, and when I mixed up names of some students at the beginning of the year and accidentally gave the wrong one detention for a week."
Her face flushed at the memories, but I didn't feel any better. Her situations didn't compare to the awkwardness or embarrassment of mine.
***
I was one of the last ones on the bus and ended up sitting in the very front. Abbie got up and sat herself down beside me. I gave her a little smile. She was a great friend.
"Alright, Ells, what movie are we watching?"
I shrugged, letting her pick. She chose the movie Pitch Perfect.
Abbie was very amused by the movie. She let out snorts of laughter periodically, making me smile. Her laugh always made me a little less tense. At the end, I looked away from the screen. I didn't want to see the two main characters kiss.
Abbie frowned at me. We'd always agreed that it was sweet of them to forgive each other, and usually that part was met with sighs and grins. I could see the wheels turning in her head, but she didn't say anything. A couple of minutes later, we stopped at the rest stop, our 'halfway' mark. I hurried to the bathroom, then quickly got in line for Starbucks. It seemed like most of the competition team was there.
I felt someone's hand brush my hair, and there was suddenly a medal around my neck. I whipped around to see Holden, standing incredibly close. He held out his hand, offering a cookie of some sort. I broke off a little piece and put the rest of the cookie back in his hand, turning again to watch the person in front of me.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, then left my side. I threw the cookie away as soon as he was gone.
Abbie and I watched another movie on the way home. She was pretty quiet until it ended, with a half hour left to go until we got home. She must have been trying hard to control her curiosity, but after a moment of silence, she started asking me questions.
"So, Holden gave you your medal?"
I nodded, pulling it out and brushing my fingers against the smooth surface. I'd tucked it beneath my shirt, so it was warm from the heat of my skin.
"What happened to you two?"
I answered her question with another question. "What happens when you don't feel comfortable with your dance partner?"
"Well...I guess that happens."
We were both quiet.
"But you're always comfortable with Holden," Abbie argued, her voice low. "If I were a judge watching any of your past duets, I would think you were a couple."
I felt vulnerable at the thought. How stupid had I been? There had been duets a lot more emotional than this one. I thought he knew I was acting the whole time. I thought HE was acting the whole time. How many times had we been so close to that same moment?
"We're not a couple, so it doesn't matter," I whispered, "I don't even know if we're friends anymore."
"I know that being dropped is a traumatic experience, but he was so sorry!" Abbie said, looking horrified. "You can't be mad at him for accidentally dropping you!"
I closed my eyes for a second. If only she knew.
"Ella!" She exclaimed. She sounded like she was scolding me. "You made him cry, for goodness' sake. Just accept his apology and move on."
"Okay, okay," I snapped, annoyed. I was only saying it to stop Abbie from pursuing the subject.
"Good."
She sat back and stared at the seat in front of her, no less confused.
***
Sorry I didn't update sooner...The Wattpad app was being stupid. And it still is being stupid :/
Anyways, comment and vote! Any suggestions for new songs or choreography? What do you think is working out in this story and what needs fixing?
~HalleBallet