Cookie: Okay my little chick-a-dees XD Chap 15! Yaaay And yes, you may drool over the two hot guys on the right--------> See them? Yeah i bet you do hehehe :P And no they're not Evan or Derek...if you read my other story "I Tempted Him With A Kiss" then you'd know who they are XD
Youtube Song "Who Owns My Heart" By Miley Cyrus requested by Amyscence. Song makes me wanna go to a club and groove hehe
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~Evan's POV~
I woke snuggled warmly in Derek's arms.
At first I was confused. Was I still dreaming? Only in my dreams would Derek ever hold me intimately like this, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Then I remembered last night.
Everything came flooding back. Every word said, every action done. I felt my cheeks reddening with when the images of what Derek and I had done last night flashes in my mind. My whole body started to burn just thinking about it.
Gently, so that I wouldn't wake him up, I eased out of his hold and pushed myself up. Derek mumbled incoherent words in his sleep, brows furrowing and lips thinning. But he didn't open his eyes. They remained closed as he continued to dream.
Who ever said that another man couldn't love another man like he can a woman is wrong. Dead wrong. Because right now, the love I felt for this sleeping boy...no, sleep man was absolute. Whether we both likes it or not, he has become the axis of my world. Someone irreplaceable. It's almost laughable how much I loved him.
And with that love came fear.
He had said that he wouldn't regret what we've done but with Derek...I couldn't trust his words. He was too impulsive, too rash when making critical decisions like last night. He'd always end up regretting them even though he'd never admit to it.
Would last night be another one?
The thought hurt but it was unavoidable. Sooner or later he was going to wake up and I'll finally be able to see his eyes. Derek's eyes never lied. They would tell me what he was thinking...and those thoughts would seal my fate in his world. And the thing is...even if he ended up blaming me for the whole thing...I could never make myself hate him for the pain it would cause.
Why?
I gazed tenderly at his face.
Well...because I'm irrevocably in love with him. And love tended to make people act stupid and blind. And because I've been in love with him for so long that I'd never escape from it. He had me so tightly bound to him that even my own feelings scared me.
If Derek wakes up and look at me with revulsion in his eyes...what would I do?
I don't want to find out.
I slid out of the bed and dressed, suddenly feeling an intense need to get away. When Derek wakes up, I didn't want to be around. It was a cowardly thing to do but the thought of seeing such accusation and hatred in his eyes scared me. It was better to give him space before eventually confronting him. And I would eventually have to face him...it was unavoidable.
I rushed out the cabin, noting that everyone was still asleep. It was already a little past nine but since they had stayed out so late I'm sure none of them will be waking up anytime soon. That would give me time for myself. Time to think. Time to plan if Derek ends up hating me. I needed to be prepared for rejection.
I strolled around the lake, the calm serenity of the chilly morning soothing me. As far as I could see there was hardly anyone around now. Just a few bikers I past along with joggers enjoying their morning routine exercise.
I sat on a long log, facing the lake. I took in its beauty for several minutes, purposely giving myself some time before my thoughts eventually strayed back to Derek. He was always in my thoughts, more now then ever before. Specially after what happened last night.
I had given into temptation and selfishly took advantage of his confusion. I shouldn't have let him go through with his plan but I was weak. How could I let something like that slip from my hands, something I've been waiting for...dreaming of for such a long time?
How could something that feels right be so wrong?
I must have stayed an hour on that log. In that time span I went though many types of emotion. Anger at myself for taking advantage of Derek's strange naiveness, then joy at what happened last night, then back to loathing myself for letting it happen yet not really regretting any of it. Then envy at the couples holding hands as they walked past me.
If Derek was to hate me and never want to see me again at least I'd have a bitter sweet memory to remember him by. A moment, even just for a little while, that we had been one.
I stood from the log, brushing the dirt from my backside. It was about time that I headed back and faced the music. There was no sense in stalling the inevitable. I should have been looking where I was going because when I turned I collided with someone.
We both stumbled back and tripped backwards, landing flat on our butts on the dirt. The boy I had collided with groaned, rubbing his butt.
"Ow," he hissed, "my poor butt."
"Sorry," I said, quickly standing. I winched when I did, rubbing my own backside. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I think so," he replied, pushing himself up halfway before I helped him. "Thanks and sorry about that. Should have watched where I was going."
"Me too, I wasn't paying much attention either."
"Ugh," he rubbed his butt again, "I think I better sit down before my butt falls off."
I couldn't help but smile at the ridiculous image of his butt falling off.
"I think I'm going to have a bruise the size of Texas on my ass by this time tomorrow," the boy grumbled, winching as he sat down on the log.
I could have left but I felt half responsible for his bruised butt. So I sat down next to him, wanting to nurse my own soreness. We had collided pretty hard.
"Were on your way somewhere?" I asked. "I have my cell phone with me. We can call whoever you were going to meet-"
The boy shook his head, cutting me off. "Nah. I wasn't going to meet anyone. Actually," he looked at me, eyes twinkling with sudden amusement. "I was running from someone."
My brows lifted.
"It's my boyfriend," he huffed, rolling his eyes, "we got into this stupid fight so instead of arguing anymore...I ran."
I was surprised that he said "boyfriend" instead of "girlfriend". He wasn't a girl...but he was beautiful. Dark hair, fair skin, mischievous looking sapphire eyes...this boy was unusually pretty. He could have easily been a model.
He must have seen the surprise on my face because his eyes widened. "Oh god," he said, "please don't tell me you're one of those raise your torches and pitch forks kind of people."
I blinked. "Huh?"
"You know," he waved a hand, "those people who thinks that gay men should burn in hell, blah blah blah."
I smiled. "No, I'm not."
"Good," he nodded, "because I didn't want to have to kick your ass. You seem like a decent guy. Cute too."
I blinked again. "I'm...cute?" I've been told this by many females...but never another male.
He grinned and sent me a wink. He was such a strange guy but even though we just met, I found him oddly endearing.
"So," the boy cocked his head at me, "what are you doing here all by your lonesome?"
I stared at him before answering with honestly. "I guess you can say I'm hiding too."
"From who? Your girlfriend?"
"No." I hesitated. Should I tell him? This stranger? He stared back at me, eyes genuinely curious and bright. A small friendly smile was on his lips. I didn't know why but I felt like I could trust him. After all...we were the same kind of people.
"No," I repeated, "I'm hiding from...a friend."
"Got into a fight?"
"No, not really."
"Is she on her period?" He had a comical look of horror on his face when he said this. "God, you should see my twin sister when she's PMSing. Godzilla ain't got nothing on that hoe."
I chuckled. "No, it's actually a guy I'm hiding from."
He quirked a brow. "Why? What happened?"
I looked away from his questioning gaze. I stared out into the lake, not really seeing any of its beauty anymore. "I'm in love with him."
"Say wha? You're in love with your guy friend?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"Um...does he feel the same way?"
I looked at him. "I don't know."
"Hmm," he leaned against the log, frowning. "Is he...gay?"
"No..." At least he hadn't been before last night. Derek had always been interested in women, not men.
The boy made a face, one that held sympathy. "Oh, I see. Well that sucks. Being gay and in love with a straight guy sucks monkey balls."
I hesitated before asking. "Have you ever been in love with a straight man?"
He looked thoughtful for a second before shaking his head. "No...well there was this one situation with my friend Nick...but I'm pretty sure he's bi."
"Nick?"
"Long story," he rolled his eyes heavenward. "Big mess, lots of feelings hurts, I was an ass, la de dah." He waved a hand. "It's something I don't like thinking about."
"Oh. Sorry."
"It's fine."
"This Nick...is he the one you're running from?"
The boy snorted. "No, I'd never have to run from Nick, he's such a sweetie. No, I'm running from another guy. That butt-face."
I lifted a brow. "Butt-face?"
"Yeah. Can you believe he got mad at me just because I was checking out another guy?" He huffed. "I mean, geez, it wasn't like I was going to sleep with him. I just said that the other guy was cute then he had to get all butt hurt about it. Possessive jerk. I can't even look at another friggin' guy without him assuming that I was interested in him."
"Well...that sounds extreme."
"It is." He made a face then sighed. "Well...he's really not that bad. Guess it's my fault." He winked at me. "I'm a natural born flirt."
I chuckled at this. What an interesting guy.
"So back to your situation," he said, changing the subject. "If you like your friend you should tell him."
"He's already aware...of my situation."
His eyes widened. "Oh. So what happened?"
I felt my cheeks turning red when I remembered what Derek and I did last night. The boy, who didn't look a day older than me squinted his eyes at me before they widened with realization.
"Oh," he blinked, "Oh!"
I blinked back. "Oh what?"
He pointed at my face, grinning. "I know that look, mister. Someone got some boot-tay last night."
I scuffed, feeling my whole face burn. "Did not."
"Did to."
"I didn't!"
"Well I think you did."
"We didn't have sex," I blurted, "we just..." I closed my mouth quickly, seeing my error.
The boy laughed, wiggling his brows. "I knew it! I knew something happened between you two. Heh. So...why are you hiding if you guys...ya know, did whatevers putting the blush on your face."
I scowled at him, completely embarrassed. "Because I'm...afraid."
"So...like, you just left the scene of the crime before he woke up?"
"Yes."
"Tsk, tsk, tsk," he wagged a finger at me in disapproval. "Naughty, boy. You can't just hit and run."
"I didn't. I just...couldn't face him yet."
"Did you think he'd blame you or something? About what happened between you two?"
I nodded. The boy was strange but he was also perceptive.
"Know what I've learned through experience from running away so much?"
I looked at him. "What?"
"That nothing good would come of it." He sighed. "I ran away from my feelings before until it almost ruined two great guys that I loved."
"But Derek wasn't gay to begin with...I think...I think I influenced him." Admitting that out loud was painful. "I don't think he's gay or meant to be gay. He was so confused by my sudden confession of my sexuality that I may have somehow...I don't know..."
"Led him to the path of Gaydom?"
My lips twitch to smile. This boy was really odd. "Yes."
He leaned closer to me. "Know what I believe?"
"What?"
"I believe that men and women were born into this world with the capability to fall in love with any gender. Who says a man has to fall in love with a woman? Or a woman with a man?"
"The bible?"
The dark haired boy snorted, rolling his eyes. "If God didn't want people like me and you to exist then why are we here? Hmph! I think the big guy will love us no matter what path we choose. It's humans who can't accept something that's not in the 'norm.'"
He looked out into the lake and shrugged. "But that's human nature I guess. We spend so much time hating on each other that we don't see the bigger picture."
"And what's that?"
He glanced at me and grinned. "That being different makes up the universe."
I thought about that for a minute then nodded. He was right. Diversity is what makes the world go round. If everyone was the same...it would be such a monotonous world.
"Besides," he continued, "life is short right? Don't spend so much time depressing yourself and not doing anything about it. And I'm sure that your Derek likes you. No 'straight' guy would do whatever you guys did last night. He probably had buried feelings for you from the start, it just took a little nudge from you to let it out. If it's selfish to want love and happiness then humans are the most selfish beings in the universe."
He shot me a look, face suddenly serious. "And if me or you falling in love with our men is a sin and will go to hell for it...well I say burn baby burn. I'll never regret it."
He was right. I'd never regret loving Derek.
"Hey," he smiled at me, "you should give me your number. Wait! I'll give you mine, just call me back so I can store yours okay?"
"Sure." I took out my cell phone and dialed the number he gave me. I didn't mind doing this. Having a friend like him could prove interesting.
"What's your name?" I asked him.
He opened his mouth, "Gio-"
"Giovannie!"
Startled, we both jumped and looked behind him. Another guy, probably a year or two older than us strode towards us with determined strides. Tall, golden blond locks, almost god-like in looks, this boy...no, man, screamed danger.
"Oh snap," the boy beside me jumped up. "Well this is my que to run like hell."
I looked at him. "Who is that?"
"Hunter, my boyfriend. Looks pissed doesn't he?" He grinned and winked at me. "He's so hot."
I smiled, shaking my head. I had a feeling that he was enjoying his boyfriends displeasure. Giovannie. So his name is Giovannie. I stored his name on my phone right along with his number.
"Evan!"
I blinked and looked behind me. Derek was striding towards me, a grim line set on his face. He must have been upset to find me gone when he woke up.
"Ooh, is that your Derek?" Giovannie asked.
"Yes."
His eyes sparkled with mischief. "Well...we better give them something to really think about before I leave."
My brows furrowed with confusion. "What?"
Before I knew what he was going to do, he leaned down and placed a kiss right on my lips.
"Giovannie!" Hunter shouted, almost upon us.
"Evan!" Derek shouted at the same time.
Giovannie stepped back and laughed, wiggling his fingers at me. "Bye bye. Let's chat again sometime...and fight for your man okay?" He sent me another wink before taking off into a run. Hunter cursed and ran after him.
I stood and watched this, surprised that Giovannie would suddenly kiss me but also amused by it. He was such a strange funny thing.
"Evan!" Derek snapped my name, finally reaching me. "What the hell was that? Did you just kiss another guy?"
"No. He kissed me."
"Same difference, jackass!"
I sighed, shaking my head. No, there was a difference. Shrieks caught our attention and we looked up to see that Hunter had caught up with Giovannie and thrown him over his shoulder as if the dark haired boy weight nothing.
"Hunter!" Giovannie cried, pounding on his back as Hunter walked them passed us. "Let me down you jerk! I'm still mad at you."
"Shut up," we heard Hunter, growl. "I'm taking us home."
"Buffoon!" Giovannie shouted, "oaf! Leader of oppressors! Tyrant king!"
SMACK!
Giovannie cried with outrage. "Oh hell naw! You did not just slap my ass!" At the same time he looked up at me and Derek and grinned, blowing us a kiss.
I chuckled. Mischievous little devil. I didn't know them well but poor Hunter must his hands full with a guy like Giovannie. Still, I felt envious of their relationship. They didn't seem to care that they were attracting attention, lost in their own little bubble.
"Hey," Derek said, "that's the guy who hit me with a frisbee the other day!"
I looked at him. Fight for my man, Giovannie had said. Fight for Derek? Even if it meant leading him to a path that most people viewed as wrong?
"I can't believe you let him kiss you," he grumbled.
The brief yet insightful conversation with Giovannie had done something to me. Inside, I felt slightly lighter, as if the simple act of confessing my feelings to a stranger who understood my situation calmed the conflicting emotions within me.
"What?" Derek snapped when he caught me staring at him. "And why did you leave?"
I searched his face. "No regrets?"
He frowned. "Is that why you ran away before I could wake up? Bastard. I told you I wont regret it."
His eyes were hard and angry but they told me that he believed what he was saying. Derek didn't regret it. For now.
"And what's up with you and that guy?" He looked at the direction Hunter and Giovannie had taken. "Why did you let him kiss you? What were you talking about? Who is he? Do you know him?"
I chuckled. Was he...jealous?
He glared at my smile. "What the hell's so funny?"
I shook my head and walked past him. He caught my wrist and jerked me back. "Hey, stop ignoring me."
I chuckled again. He sounded like he was whining, almost pouty. I could almost imagine his doggy ears downcast as he stared at me with confusion.
"Hey," he began, "what's up with you? You look...I don't know. Different."
Because I felt a bit different. Talking to Giovannie, I had finally come to a conclusion. I'm going to be selfish and keep Derek to myself. Even if it meant fighting against the world. As long as he accepts me...I'd do anything to keep him by my side.
Giovannie is right. Life is short.
"Hey?" Derek frowned. "You okay?"
I nodded then pulled him towards me. Before he realized what I intended to do, I planted a kiss on his lips. I pulled back and he blinked at me, looking seriously confused by my odd behavior.
I grinned. "Burn baby, burn."
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Cookie: Did you love Giovannie? Well if you haven't already go check out his story in my profile! Story title "I Tempted Him With A Kiss"
Cookie: *hugs lil Gio* You are soooooooooo cute!
Derek: Hey! It's that pervert from last night!
Evan: I'm calling the cops! *takes out cell phone*
Cookie: (O_O) *inchs over to Hunter*
Gio: Wait! *holds up a hand* I know this woman!
Hunter: She's licking me...
Cookie: *stops licking Hunter's cheek* O_O
Gio: O.o *gasps* Nevermind! Call the Po-Pos on that Bish!
Cookie: *runs away*
"To infinity...and beyond!"
Sesame Street Big Bird: This small interuption is brought to you by the letter C
Derek: Where the hell did that bird come from!?
Evan, Gio, Hunter:......-_-
;P