Liam's first proper shopping trip was utterly adorable at times, the two were both comfortable enough with heading out to a public place. Liam needed some more clothes, a toothbrush, soap and curtains. Liam kept a hold of the back of Niall's jumper sleeve, his jumper and t-shirt pooling down below his bum, practically touching his knees. His hair had started curling again, bouncing ringlets at the ends. His skin wasn't a silk white anymore, it was full of colour, big red rosy cheeks and a nice brown hue to his skin.
Liam had his jumper sleeve stuffed in his mouth as he followed behind Niall at a steady pace. The blonde seemed to know everybody, being greeted and welcomed by nearly everybody he walked past. He also knew where everything was.
Liam was shuffling his feet against the floor. He hadn't been in a proper clothing store for years. So seeing this many t-shirt made Liam want to cry and buy them all. Niall was wandering around, resting the shirts against Liam's chest to measure the sizing. Whichever one fitted, went into the basket. Niall soon discovered that Liam was an xx small. Which horrified him slightly because he was shorter than Liam and was only a size small.
He bought Liam all the essentials that he needed, he didn't want the poor boy to go without. He wanted him to feel as normal as possible. He could see clearly how innocent and young Liam looked more now. Like he stopped aging when he was removed from school. He looked traumatized and so so fragile. Niall felt like he needed to put a 'handle with care' sticker on Liam's body.
He had noticed a lot of things about Liam now that he was living with him. The way he ate, slept. He did it with such carefulness, he was so slow and gentle, like he might get in trouble if he rushed. Liam also got scared easily and he would instantly cower, hands dropping whatever he was holding so he could cover his eyes, or ears. It depended on the extent of the noise.
Niall handed Liam the chocolate milkshake and rolled his jumper sleeves up carefully, so they didn't get caught whilst Liam was eating or drinking. He placed the bags down by the table and watched the way Liam timidly glanced at the people who walked passed. His eyes held so much emotion that Niall felt like Liam could tell a story purely just with them.
Everything was okay until one of Niall's rowdy friends approached, he slapped Niall on the back and it set Liam off. Even if it was meant to be a friendly gesture. He placed his cup down and shielded his eyes sadly with his own hands. Niall noticed this instantly, another thing to add to his list of triggering things.
"hey Liam, buddy. It's okay, he didn't hurt me it was just a friendly gesture." Niall assured, managing to take one of Liam's boney hands over the table. But he could tell that Liam wasn't one hundred percent certain, again Niall could tell from the vulnerable boys eyes.
"does that trigger something Liam? It's alright though okay? I'm perfectly fine." Niall said softly, feeling the way Liam's grip tightened on his fingers. His other hand going back to sip on his milkshake. Niall's friend had since moved off, scurried off after Liam's reaction.
The brunette checked his surroundings before he did anything and completely refused to use a public bathroom. Liam wouldn't even let Niall go in. Just let his bottom lip wobble dangerously until Niall gave in and picked their bags up again.
It was awfully hard to get a word out of Liam in a public place like this, he seemed to be more confined now that Niall had taken him in, reserving himself more, but the blonde knew everything was trial and error. They took two sets forward and three sets back, but at least he knew there was process.
Liam had doctors appointments once a week, they changed his diet, weight him and he usually always had to have a needle of some form, which was the worst part for both of them, it usually resulted in Niall and another nurse restraining Liam whilst he cried, Niall could only imagine what it must feel like to be confined like that. Absolutely awful.
Liam had a blanket he had taken from Niall's cupboard and had never given back. It was probably the softest thing Liam had ever felt in his life. He slept with it every night and it had become a security thing. Sort of like how a child gets when they get a new blanket or teddy.
Once Liam had finished his milkshake, they bundled up their things and shuffled off. Liam wasn't as quick as Niall was on his feet. But they stopped by the chemist to purchase more vitamins and Liam also bought a can of deodorant and some aftershave. Things he hadn't used in nearly a whole year.
"Angel." Liam whispered quietly, leaning in close to Niall with a soft grip on the blonde lads jumper. He was a bit unsure again. "I need to use the bathroom." he said softly, a blush on his cheeks, tinting the tips of his ears.
"that's okay, but you won't use the public toilets, so where do you wanna go?" Niall asked, as he stacked the items up on the counter and greeted the woman politely. Liam shifted uneasily after that, he was busting and he didn't want to wet himself.
"I-I don't know. I just need to go please." Liam whispered, he had both of his hands curled into Niall's soft jumper now, he found soft things comforting, as Niall had discovered.
"alright love, we'll figure something out in a second alright?" Niall assured.
After Niall had paid for the items, he headed back towards the bathroom's and convinced Liam to use the parents room. Niall had to sit on the small chair whilst Liam went to the toilet with the door barely locked so he could get out of there if something was to suddenly happen. Niall was curious to know if there was a story behind Liam's public toilet issue.
Niall took Liam via the bookstore and picked up a few, before stopping to buy some movies and music albums as well. By lunch time, the store was packed with people and Niall remembered it was the Christmas rush, so he bundled Liam back up and headed out to his car.
Liam looked run off his feet, but stopped dead when he heard a mother yelling at her five year old daughter. He felt sick, stomach churning helplessly as he heard the child start wailing. Liam's crying didn't start until he heard the 'wack' impact, the skin on skin noise and the sad pitiful cries increasing. He dropped himself down on the cold floor and sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth. His whole body had gone tense, and Niall didn't realize until Liam started shouting 'stop!' repeatedly. Drawing the attention from everybody, even the angered woman from before. The car park came to a halt at the site of Liam. His whole body just rocking back and forth as he shouted, his hands shaking uncontrollably. It was all far too familiar for Liam.
At points like this Niall had discovered that touching Liam was the worst thing to do. He would try and run, like Niall guessed he tried to do when he was younger. So instead he crouched down in front of the lad and started talking with the softest tone he could manage. Watching Liam fall apart like this was simply the hardest part of Niall's job. The blonde always turned to lullabies. His mum use to tell them to him when he was sad, stressed or panicking.
"Moon of Mamaku, the night is falling. Moon of Mamaku, the wind is calling. Rise above the rim of sea. Show how lovely you can be. Sky has made a garden full of flowers. White jasmine petal stars strewn in silver bowers. Robes of cloud about the heavens flow. While we await your golden glow. Somewhere in the night a bird is singing, Telling of the joy the night is bringing; While the island children dream. Night is radiant with your gleam; Now the eastern sky reflects your pleasure, Sweet lotus-blossom moon bringing us your treasure. Glad to see your sheen of mystic rays we sing a song of joy and praise. Moon of Mamaku we know your story, How you try to give the world your glory. Land and sea you softly trace, Painting pictures with your face. Restless ocean wave cannot receive it, No place on humble earth fine enough to leave it. Yet aware that for your grace we yearn. To Mamaku you will return." Niall sang softly, Liam calmed enough by the end of it to curl into the warmth of Niall's jumper and cry. It was one of those cries, the one where you knew the person was suffering, Niall could feel how fast Liam's heart was beating, and the tremble of his skin.
"wh-why does it hurt Angel? Why?" Liam asked desperately as Niall helped him into the passenger seat, buckling his seat belt up for him gently.
"it hurts because pain demands to be felt Liam, remember? It's a trigger. It makes you remember something you don't like. It's normal, very normal. I promise." Niall said softly, giving his arm a soft pat. He then climbed into the driver's seat and sighed sadly.
Liam fell asleep in the car, the exhaustion from the shopping and the meltdown wearing him out. When Niall pulled into the driveway, he undid Liam's seat belt and carried him inside gently. He carefully removed his shoes and tucked him in under the covers snugly.
It had been a long and eventful day and Niall felt just as exhausted as Liam was. He felt defeated and uncomfortable. Poor Liam, he felt awful. He wished greatly, that he could take all of Liam's pain away, with the click of his fingers.
"Angel." Liam said softly around an hour later, his sweater was pooling around his knees and hanging off his arms. His eyes watering sadly as he stood in the doorway. Niall turned slowly in his seat. "are you going to make the pain go away?" Liam asked quietly, he looked so defended, so lost and tense. So sad.
"I'm going to try the best I can, I promise you, I'm not going to give up until I make you feel better okay? C'mere buddy." Niall assured. Liam patted across the carpet and into Niall's awaiting arms. Niall could feel the wetness on his shirt almost instantly.
"thank you."
"my pleasure Liam." Niall whispered "I promise you, I'm really going to try."
Niall wasn't about to give up on making Liam feel good now. He wanted Liam to be able to walk through a car park and not have a meltdown, he wanted Liam to be able to read a newspaper as well as smile at the silliest of things. He wanted to feel a good vibe, radiating off Liam's skin and he wasn't going to stop trying until he achieved it.
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so I wasn't planning to update until after I finished school (which is in two days!) And I'm also working on a one shot and my co book. But I surprised myself. Because I used this story for a school assignment and voila, I was inspired to write!
I hope you enjoy!
8+ comments for next update!
~ KahliaPayne