Yn's POV
*Five Days Later*
I hopped out of bed, feeling extremely nervous. Things between me and Diggy have been great, even if it's only been five days. We haven't argued and all we do is spend time with DJ and laugh, all we've had together since we squashed the stripper issues are happy moments, and I'm extremely grateful for that.
I might be screwing this up though.
I sighed, thinking about what I had on my agenda for today. I was going to go visit Jason, but I was hiding it from Diggy. If he finds out, we'll just be back to square one and I can't let that happen. I can't have him angry with me, not again.
Diggy rolled over in bed and yawned loudly before turning toward the clock. "Yn, it's 10 in the morning" he groaned.
I laughed and took out a jogging suit to wear from my drawer. "Y'know, normal people actually wake up around that time" I told him.
"Ha-ha" he said sarcastically before yawning again. "Hey back in bed" he said, stretching his arms out like a baby.
"I'll be back... I just have some errands to run" I said, stretching the truth just a little.
He sighed before pulling the covers over his head. "Just hurry back" he said, sounding like a child.
I walked to the bathroom to shower and start my hygiene routine. When I was done, I threw my clothes on. "I'll be back" I told Diggy. He just groaned sleepily before rolling over.
I looked in his room to go say goodbye to DJ but he wasn't there. Then, I remembered Angela and Russy takes him to school everyday for us. They're honestly really helpful.
I jogged out to the car and sighed as I got in and closed the door. Do I really want to do this? I remember a long time ago, I wanted to have closure about everything that happened between Jason and I l, from him abusing me to raping me to actually trying to kill me and everyone I cared about the most. But was I really ready for this? To face him again face to face and find out the motives behind his actions?
I took a deep breath before starting the car and driving in the direction of the jail he was in. Once I got there, I got out of the car and stood there for a few minutes, just staring at the building.
It took me a while to actually walk toward the building. When I got in there, there was a long process of going through metal detectors and waiting in different lines to see the inmate I wanted to see. A few people recognized me, asking to take pictures and asking questions about Diggy.
I held a few different conversations with every person that stopped me. It's crazy how they treat me like this, but I'm not famous at all. I'm just the girlfriend of a famous man, it's not like we're both famous like Beyoncé & Jay but it's still a nice feeling to know his fans like us together, too.
I made it to a front counter and gave the lady Jason's information, his full name, stuff like that. I groaned when she said I had to wait for at least 30 minutes. I stood next to the wall and kept questioning if I was actually gonna be able to see him.
I wanted to run away so badly. But no matter how hard I tried, my legs wouldn't cooperate and I'd just stay in the same place. Deep down inside I know that I need to do this, right here, right now because if I don't, I'll never know the full truth behind the past.
My phone started ringing after sitting there for what seemed like forever and I was relieved when I saw Minnie's name pop up. Maybe she can help with my nerves. "Hello?"
"Hey, stranger. I haven't heard from you in a while and you're my best friend so-"
"Minnie, please calm me down" I cut her off anxiously. "I feel like I can't breathe and I'm so damn nervous and-"
"Woah, woah, woah! Calm down Yn" she said before instructing me to take deep breaths. "Where are you?"
I took a deep breath and looked around. "At... Prison?"
"What?! Yn what the hell are you doin' there?!"
"I came to see Jason" I sighed as I leaned against the wall.
"Jason? Yn-"
"I know, it's stupid! He called me and at first I wasn't gonna agree but now here I am. Plus, me and Diggy just got back on good terms and I-"
"Diggy doesn't know? Of course he doesn't" she said to herself as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Yn, Diggy isn't gonna be happy about this shit! You need to leave, now! You're gonna ruin everything you guys just fixed between each other" she said.
I was about to say something when my name was called. "I need to do this for me" I said into the phone. "I want to know the truth. Just.... Just keep this between us for now at least, okay?"
"You said the same thing when you started stripping and both of our niggas started hatin' us" she mumbled.
"Minnie" I said seriously.
"Okay, okay! I won't tell anyone. Call me later. Love you, bye" she said into the phone before she hung up.
I put my phone away before following a man to a room in the back. I looked around and saw tables and chairs everywhere that had different inmates sitting and talking with their families. He led me to a table and I quickly sat down, ignoring the nervousness in my stomach.
After a few minutes, my heart stopped as I saw Jason walk over to me with handcuffs around his wrist. A guard took them off his wrists and stood nearby, just in case I guess.
He took a seat with a small smile on his face. "Hey, Yn."
"Hi" I said as I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.
"How have you been?"
"Good I guess" I said.
I stared at him for a moment. Jason was so damn attractive and I just don't know how he turned out being so crazy. It wasn't like that all the time though. When we first got together he was perfect but then things started changing. I'm not sure how to describe it, it made my chest ache thinking about it though.
"You know youre the first person to visit me since I've been in here" he said with a small grin. "My mom and dad barely want to even talk to me. Mason would've probably came though... If-"
"If you didn't kill your own little brother?" It came out harshly but I didn't mean for it to be. It was the truth though.
He slowly nodded his head and smile began to fade. "Yeah, if I hadn't killed him."
"Jason, what happened to you? You used to be such a good person and you have such a big ass heart, you're not the same... At all-"
"You look nice" he said, trying to change the subject.
I blinked and looked around the room before leaning toward him. "Did you not just hear what I asked you?"
"I heard" he said nonchalantly as he crossed his arms over the table. "I just don't have to answer."
"Jason, I just want answers" I said calmly.
"I've seen you and Diggy everywhere in the little magazines and newspapers and everything" he said as he chuckled to himself. "I had a feeling he's get to you after I lost you."
"Jason-"
"Minnie and Corahn have a baby now, right?"
"How do you know?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, Corahn is a dancer so everyone knows him. And Minnie is your best friend and his girlfriend so everyone knows her, too. Word travels fast around here."
I obviously need to take a different approach for him to answer my questions. "How have you been, Jason?"
He shook his head and looked down. "Bad, man. It's all bad in here. You know, my mom and dad have bail money for me, but won't pay it! This is like their ultimate punishment for me because I'm such a damn screw up."
"You're not a screw up, you just have... Issues?"
He shook his head. "Nah, I'm a screw up. They hate the fact that they even gave birth to me, Yn. I never used to be their favorite and Mason used to always be the one who stayed out of trouble until I talked him into comin' with me... That day."
"What day?"
"You know what day" he snapped at me angrily, referring to the day he kidnapped and tried to kill everyone I loved, including myself.
"I'm sure they'll forgive you one day."
"I can't even forgive myself, Yn." He looked up at me and he looked as if he was about to cry. "Every time I close my eyes, I just see the blood of Tammy, Desiree, everyone I killed that day. But then I see Mason, jut laying there! I did that to him. I killed my own little brother."
"Jason-"
"I couldn't even go to the funeral to tell him I was sorry and that I still loved him. I love him so much" he said as he shook his head. "I'm the reason he's dead. I'm the reason he's gone."
"Jason, listen to me-"
"I lost everybody I loved! You know my grandma died while I was in here? I couldn't even go to the funeral, just like with Mason. My mom and dad hate me, and I lost you five years ago."
"Jason, you didn't love me" I shook my head. "You did at first but after you raped me and beat me, that wasn't love."
"You're gonna try to tell me I didn't love you? I did everything I did because I loved you" he said as he looked me directly in the eyes.
"You rape, beat, practically stalk, and try to kill the people you love, Jason-"
"I don't even know why I told you to come" he said as he shook his head and sat back in his seat.
"I'm just trying to see where your mind was back then and where it is now" I explained. "Your logic isn't adding up and I don't think you even know why you did everything thing you did!"
"I didn't rape you, I had sex with you. I didn't beat or abuse you, I just physically used a little force with you because you didn't want me anymore."
I stared at him blankly. "You're psycho."
"How's Diggy doing?"
"Why do you keep changin' the subject?! Diggy has nothing to do with what we're talking about!"
"Diggy has nothing to do with it, but DJ does."
"Excuse me?"
"DJ" he repeated. "You got pregnant with him the same year you were pregnant with our baby, but you kept him and aborted ours" he yelled and I saw a tear roll down his face.
My heart stopped. "You knew about our baby?"
He rolled his eyes. "I was standing outside the bathroom the day you were crying and you told Minnie, the same day you got the abortion."
*FLASHBACK*
I was awakened to someone tapping my shoulder. I looked up to see Jason. I hadn't seen him since that night... I can't even talk about it.
He had such an evil smile on his face. "Miss me?" he asked.
I got up trying to grab my books as fast as I could when he slapped the books out of my hand and pushed me against the lockers. "Bitch, did you hear what I asked you?"
I wanted to pass out right then & there. I had been very sick lately. I broke free of his grip and ran to the bathroom. I started throwing up A LOT. I had went to the store to get a pregnancy test earlier. I pulled out the pregnancy test in my book bag. After following the directions and waiting a few minutes I checked the results. Positive.
I walked out of the bathroom stall and slid my back down the wall, crying my eyes out. I feel so defeated. I heard footsteps walk toward me. It was Minnie. It seems like she's always there at the right time.
She ran over to where I was on the bathroom floor. "Yn, why are you crying? What's wrong?"
What isn't wrong, I thought to myself. I couldn't speak because I was crying even harder at this point. I just looked up at her and held the pregnancy test up her. She took it and read it, her eyes growing bigger and bigger. She held me close, drying my tears.
We skipped our next classes.
*After School, At The Mall*
We were walking around in complete silence.
"So what are you going to do?" Minnie asked me, breaking the silence.
"Min, I can't keep the baby! Look at me" I said stepping back. "I'm sixteen and pregnant by my abusive ex boyfriend who raped me!" I said, trying my hardest not to cry.
"Well you can't kill the baby either" she said.
I looked away, knowing she had a point. I would never want to kill my unborn child, but I'm not ready for that responsibility at all. I can barely take care of myself, let alone a child.
"I have no other choice" I said, sobbing into my hands.
"Yn-"
I cut Minnie off by running away and out of the mall. I had to take care of this before I changed my mind. I got in my car and sped off to the nearest clinic I could find.
*FLASHBACK OVER*
"You thought I was just gonna hurt DJ for no reason, but seeing him hurt me so much. You're happy with him, but not our baby."
I widened my eyes at him. "You followed me to the clinic."
"Looks like we're both murderers, huh?" He smirked at me and I felt my eyes stinging with tears as I tried to speak but couldn't. "So, let me get some answers out of you. Why'd you kill our baby but keep DJ?"
I was speechless. My excuse back then was that I was 16 and pregnant by my abusive boyfriend that raped me, but it's no longer valid because I was 16 when I was pregnant with DJ, too. Plus, I was hurt by Diggy, too. He cheated on me and I found out the same day I told him I was pregnant. I gave him a sympathetic look. "Jason-"
"No! Don't do that! Because I literally have nobody here for me, but maybe if you would've kept the the baby I would've had a son or daughter that looked up to me, that actually didn't hate my guts like everybody that i fuckin' know!" His face softened and he wiped tears from his face and I felt my heart breaking. "I would've changed for it. I would've changed so I could keep you and my child happy, I would've gotten help! I wouldn't have killed the only person that actually cared, I'd still have Mason!"
"No" I said firmly. "No! You will not blame me for what you did to Mason or anyone else from that night!" He ignored me and kept sobbing. "Jason, I had no idea that you knew and I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry! You don't know what I went through and how hard it was to abort it, Jason, you don't know how it effected me!"
A guard walked over to us and saw upset we both were. "Maybe you should come back another time, ma'am" he said as he put handcuffs on Jason again and walked off, leading Jason away with him.
I stood up in shock.
Did that really just happen?
___________________________________
Book 1:Trying To Love Again
Book 2: Life After Pain
In this chapter, Yn saw Jason again. Jason was in Book 1 & Book 2. In Book 1, Jason raped and abused Yn, he also followed her around a lot without her knowing. The Flashback in this chapter, in fact, was from Book 1. In Book 2, he came back for revenge on Yn and everyone else she loved by kidnapping them. He teamed up with other people that hated Minnie, Yn, and Diggy to kill them (Corahn played along with the plan but was there to help them, not hurt them.) Now, Yn sees Jason behind Diggy's back and discovers that the reason Jason tried to kill everyone (including DJ) was because he knew about the abortion Yn had. At first he was only a little upset, but then he got even crazier when he found out Yn was pregnant with Diggy's baby but actually decided to keep theirs.
Jason did everything because not only was his thinking screwed up, he was hurt because Yn didn't want him and still decided to keep Diggy's baby. He felt alone, and the only person he had was Mason (but he shot him after he found out he tried to get with Yn once before). He was trying to hurt Yn as much as she hurt him.
So, what'd you think?
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