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[ J A X ' S P O V ]
The second we're home, neither of us can keep our hands off each other.
I've been fiddling with the damn doorknob for five whole minutes because I've been too distracted with Blaire. That and I find my hands unable to leave Blaire's body. They're everywhere—sliding down her face, roaming down her body, sneaking under her shirt, dancing over her skin. I can't seem to keep them still, nor do I want to.
My lips also already have a mind of its own, stealing as many kisses as I can get from her. I'm obsessed with her lips—I'm pretty sure there's fucking narcotics on them because I literally get high off kissing her. She tastes of flavors that I've never tasted before—of heaven; of sanctuary; of home.
Damn. Home. It's been a while since I have one.
I trap her against the door, one of my hands buried in her hair, pulling her to me. Even though we're so close, I desperately try to close the almost non-existent distance between us. Tongues entwining, lips moving, bodies trembling—it's something that I highly doubt I will never get bored off with her.
I need her. All of her. Now.
She presses her hips against mine, her hands clenching my butt so the friction between our bodies become unbearable. Fuuuuck. I'm half tempted to take her, right here, right now, against the front door, while the cars whizz by. My need for her knows no fucking bounds.
"Jackson," she breathes against my lips. "Open the fucking door already."
"I can't," I groan. "You're too distracting."
Blaire chuckles, then grabs the keys dangling on my right hand, and when I try to protest, she places a hand on my chest to stop me. She turns away from me, sliding the key into place and unlocking the door. She kicks the door open and then reverts her attention back to me, thrusting the keys back to me.
"There," she whispers. "Now, please, can we continue?"
"Okay." I nod.
She grabs a fistful of my shirt and crashes our lips together again. She jumps so she can wound her legs around my hips and I take that as an opportunity to take her wherever I want us to go. With my hands cupping her butt, I walk her over to the living room, where there's a sofa waiting to be fucked on.
I walk the both of us over there and lay her down gently on the sofa. She pulls me down with her, her arms slung over my neck. Our bodies mold together, our legs entangled, our lips never once parting from each other.
A thought hits me and I break apart from her briefly. "Wait," I say.
She looks at me with irritation. "What?"
"Did Belle reach home safely?" I ask her, suddenly worried.
She widens her eyes at the abruptness of my question. "You're asking me this now? While we're making out?"
"I feel like I'm stealing you away from her. I feel guilty," I sieve my fingers through her hair and pout.
"She's fine," Blaire murmurs, then continues to press sweet kisses down my jaw. But I'm not really into it. I frown, knowing that I can't fuck her unless I get all my questions out of me.
"Wait," I say again.
She pauses. "What now, Jackson?"
"Ben took her home right? I mean—she didn't walk home alone, right?"
She makes an annoyed sound. "Yes, I left her at the bus stop to wait for Ben. She's probably home safe and sound."
She continues kissing down my collarbone but I stop her again.
"Wait—"
She groans loudly. "You're insufferable, Jackson." she cups my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her. Her hard gaze falls upon mine. "Stop worrying. Belle's fine. Ben's fine. The whole world is fucking fine. You know who is not fine? Me. I'm not fine. I'm so horny I think I might just explode. And if you don't get inside me in the next few minutes, then we're going to have a very serious problem."
I can't help but chuckle.
"Always impatient, are we?" I murmur, dropping down so that my lips can clasp unto her neck. She moans when my lips make contact with her skin.
"Only when it comes to you," she whispers. "I want more of what happened last night. And I want it now."
A small grin grows on my face. "You like to boss me around, do you?"
"Very much."
"Well, then," I breathe, helping her out of her blouse, then unclasping her bra and throwing it to the floor. The wicked gleam in her eyes suggests all the dirty things she wishes to do to me. I hold her on to that silent promise as I help her out of the rest of the clothes. "What my girl wants, she gets."
And I waste no time to give her exactly what she wants. And more.
So much more.
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Somehow, the both of us ended up in Blaire's room after the whole fiasco in the living room. I must have carried her there after a few rounds on the sofa, but at this point, my mind is too fuzzy to remember much about it. I've only gotten a fair amount of sleep and the only reason I woke up is because I forgot to close her blinds last night and the rays of sunlight that penetrated through this morning have already burned me—along with my eyes—alive. However, it doesn't bother me that much, or at least, not as much as it used to.
I feel high, light, dizzy with happiness—foreign emotions that my body is still trying to adjust to. My face hurts from smiling all the time, something so alien to me. And yet, I still do it. Because of Blaire. Because I'm happy. Because she makes me happy.
I haven't felt that way in a long time.
"Hey," I whisper, my hand slowly caressing her cheek. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles lazily at me, wrapping the sheets tighter around her body.
"Hey," she whispers back, a soft sound.
"I really like your room." I smile. "It's pretty. Doesn't reflect your dark soul one bit."
"Very funny," she deadpans. "And don't act like this is the first time you've seen it. You've been in here before."
I freeze. "How do you know that?"
"You went through all my stuff that one time. Don't think I didn't notice, asshole." She laughs. "And you weren't exactly being subtle about it. A lot of my stuff got thrown all over the floor. You're a horrible thief, you know that?"
"I'll leave the thieving to the expert, then," I chuckle. "And I wasn't trying to steal anything. I was just going through your stuff."
"And why is that?" She looks at me with feigning interest.
"I didn't trust you. You looked like you were up to no good," I shrug. "And guess what? I was right. You're the most trouble I've had to deal with in ages."
"I live to give you trouble, baby." She winks at me.
"Baby, huh? I quite like that one." I tug on her arm and pout. "Come and take a shower with me."
"Why?"
"It saves water."
"Bullshit. You just want to fuck me from behind in the shower."
"You know me so well," I smirk.
"You don't even try to deny it."
"Because I really do want to fuck you from behind with water running down your body. It's gonna be so fucking sexy, I can already picture it." I tug on her once more. "Come on."
"I can't," she croaks out. "I can't feel my legs."
"Fuck, are you serious?" It should worry me but I can't help but grin. Although I should feel like shit, I don't think I've ever been more proud of myself for making Blaire unable to walk. My cock must have been hella good to have caused such damage. It's a major accomplishment for me.
Congrats, you sexy beast. I say silently to my cock. You have brought honor to the Deneris name.
She nods. "I think they're broken."
"Maybe I can fix them," I suggest.
"No, you're only going to destroy them." She shakes her head. "That along with all the other parts of my body."
My cock jumpstarts to life again at her words.
Calm down, boy. Getting a little too excited there.
"But that makes it so much more fun," My fingers trail along her exposed breasts, and her breathing hitches up, her eyes tracing my hand.
"You don't make it easy, do you?" She moans when my fingers tweak her nipple. "God, Jax."
I shake my head. "Don't call me that."
She lifts her head slightly so she can see me. "Don't call you what?"
"Jax. Don't call me that," I murmur. "Call me Jackson."
"I seriously cannot keep up with you," she laughs to herself. "You absolutely hated it when I called you Jackson. And now you want me to call you that. What is going on?"
I pause, looking down, my fingers continue to dance over my delicate skin, coursing between the valley of her breasts all the way to her naval. "Nobody really calls me Jackson, you know."
"How about Sienna?"
"No. Only my dad calls me that."
"Why?"
"Because he deserves to," I tell her. "No matter how much of an asshole I am to him, he still loves me. He still has hope in me." When I notice Blaire's puzzled expression, I take a deep breath. "Look, Jax is just a forged identity. A buffer. A mask. When I put it on, I'm someone else. Someone that nobody ever wants to get close to. And the reason why only a few people call me Jackson is because they have succeeded in tearing down my walls. My defenses. Suddenly, I don't feel like an outcast to this world anymore."
Blaire doesn't reply me, not immediately at least. She lets the words sink in for a while.
"I want you to call me Jackson because you have done what not a lot of people can: make me feel like I belong." I whisper. "And I do. Belong. To you."
She smiles—the loveliest of all them all—and I can tell my words really touched her.
"Shit," she swears. "That was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."
"It's the truth, darling," I press a kiss to her nose.
"So..." She shifts slightly so she's closer to me in bed. Her hands are rested under her face and she bites her lip, almost shyly. "Does that mean that you're my boyfriend now?"
I don't know why but her words make me blush. I haven't done that in years.
"Why?" I ask her, grinning. "Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"
She laughs. "I don't know. I mean, if you want to."
"That's not exactly an answer."
"Well, you're not giving one too."
"But you're the one asking."
"Fine." She sighs loudly. "I just—I need to know what are we doing. What this thing is between us."
"Whatever you want it to be, darling." I drawl.
"What do you want it to be?" She whispers.
Her words struck me. I haven't really thought about it. I know throughout these past few weeks, I have accumulated feelings for her. Strong feelings. And I don't just want her because of sex—hell, that's initially what I wanted from her, but it turned into something much more than that.
Boyfriend. I'm never been anyone's boyfriend but Sienna's. And I fucking sucked at it. I guess I did something right, considering the fact that we lasted for three years, but then I screwed it up so bad. What if I mess this up? What if I ruin everything that Blaire and I have because of my stupidity?
"Blaire..." My voice trails off. "I want to be your boyfriend. I want nothing more than to be your boyfriend. But... I'm a screw up. I've fucked up what I had with Sienna. What if... What if..."
She shakes her head. "No, stop. Don't say anything else."
"But, Blaire-"
"You told me to take a chance with you," she tells me. "And I did. I'm here with you. Right now. That means I'm invested in this... relationship. And you need to be too. You can't just tell me to fall into this with you and back away from me now. Like you said: there's no stopping it." She leans forward and kisses me firmly on the mouth. "I don't care about what happened in the past. I don't care about what happened with Sienna. I care about the person you choose to be after that. Are you going to make the same mistakes happen again or are you going to do something about it and change?"
Change.
Fuck.
"You mean... redeem myself?" I ask and she nods. A laugh escapes from me. "There is no redemption for me, darling. I'm a lost cause."
"No, you're not. Nobody ever really is," she murmurs. "Jackson Deneris, you are the baddest of the bad, but even someone as fucked up and twisted as you deserve redemption. All of us—the wicked and the damned— are entitled to it. Redemption. A second chance. You just have to believe that you deserve it. Otherwise it won't work."
Her words strike a chord in me. I never thought that I'll ever get redemption. When I came to LA, I knew that it was impossible. I've done too many bad things too be allowed even a sliver of it. But what Blaire said—it really got me thinking.
Can the devil actually gain his redemption?
I have done some pretty fucked up things. And I'm not sure if I'm strong enough not to repeat them. Plus, I've still been having those nightmares about Sienna. How can I even gain redemption if I can't even let go of my past?
I need to get it together, fast. I don't know how am I going to do that, but I'll do anything for Blaire. She has so much hope in me. I don't want to crush it, ever.
"I'll try, darling," I murmur, smoothing her hair. "I'll try. For you. But I can't promise you anything."
She nods, though I notice her unease. "Okay."
"Meanwhile," I say, twirling a strand of her hair in my finger. "I think you promised me shower sex."
Blaire throws her head back laughing. "I did not promise you anything."
"But you didn't reject the idea either."
She bites her lip, then smiles, a look of seduction masking her face. She's teasing me. Toying me around. As if she has the upper hand in this.
"Come on, darling," I drawl. "You know you want to."
"No, I don't," she murmurs, throwing the sheets aside so she can crawl towards me, a playful grin dancing on her lips. "But I can give you something better."
"I wonder what is that?" I squeak out when she settles in between my legs, her ass sticking up in the air. She lowers her head slightly, my cock standing proudly in front of her.
"This is a very nice cock you have there, Jackson," she murmurs.
"I hope it's the best one you've ever tasted." I wink at her and she laughs.
"I guess I'm about to find out."
And then she lowers her mouth, fitting her lips around the head of my cock. I suck in a huge breath as she takes me into her mouth, sucking hard. She tongues my sweet spot, massaging it, and my hips kick forward in response.
"Fuck, your mouth feels amazing, Blaire," I can't help but groan.
I try to keep my focus on her, but my eyes flutter open and close due to the sweet, sweet pleasure of being given a blowjob by my girlfriend. Her spare hand cups my balls, rolling them gently between her fingers. I moan, the sheets fisted at my sides, as she takes me in as deep as she can.
"That's it, darling. Keep doing what you're doing," I say, my voice thick. Various growling noises escape from me, animalistic groans that seem so foreign to me. Fuck, Blaire has turned me into a fucking barbarian already.
My cock stretches her jaw, filling her mouth to the fullest. I'm huge and I'm suddenly afraid I might break her damn face. But I can't will myself to tell her to stop. She feels too fucking good.
She continues to work me with her teeth, tongue and lips, and in response, my hands bury in her hair, encouraging her to keep going. Just as she lowers her head, my hips thrust into her, continuously, impaling her mouth, because I simply cannot get enough of her sweet lips.
"Blaire," I hiss out her name, continuing to thrust into her mouth. "Fuck, Blaire, I'm going to come if you don't stop."
"Then, come," she says, then sucks me harder.
She uses her hands too, stroking the base while she works the crown. Her hands pump me faster and I find my eyes rolling inside my sockets. Fuck, if this isn't nirvana, I don't know what is.
She continues to work my cock so beautifully, faster, harder and suddenly, I find my hips buckling in response. The muscles in my stomach tensed and my muscles go rigid.
"Fuck!" I bellow as the last of my restraint falls apart and I start to come. I want to pull away from her so I don't get it in her mouth, but she holds my cock steady, her cheeks hollowing, taking in every last drop of the cum. "Shit, baby."
My entire body slumped and I breathe hard, panting for air. She swallows, then smiles at me, a little cheekily and I roll my eyes, chuckling.
"Yeap," she breathes. "Best cock I've ever tasted."
I pull her to me and help her wipe off the white liquid from her lips, then press a light kiss on it. She leans forward and deepens the kiss, cherishing and savoring me. I'm half tempted to throw her back on the bed and take her again, but before I can do that, I hear a loud pounding on the door.
"I know the both of you are in there," Hunter's voice echoes through out the entire room.
Both of us freeze.
Blaire's eyes widen out of fear and turns to me.
What the fuck are we going to do? she mouths.
Stay calm, I mouth back, gesturing with my hands. He doesn't know.
"I know what you guys did," Hunter says. "If you guys don't know, your voices carry. We heard everything."
"Well, shit." I swear atrocities under my breath.
"Fuck," Blaire mutters.
"Yeah, please don't do that, at least not now," he says. "Get dressed and go downstairs. Baxton is waiting for you there." He chuckles to himself, "Good luck, though. You both might not make it out of that conversation alive."
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A/N: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THE 1 MILLION VIEWS FOR PERFECT REDEMPTION! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!!!
ALSO HAPPY EARLY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO MY CHINESE PEEPS! Love you guys!
And hehehehehehehheehehehe JAIRE IS IN TROUBLE! Or are they? I guess we'll have to find out in the next chapter!
Okay so I have to change my updating schedule again, because I don't think I can deal with updating once a week. The best I can do is every alternate Fridays. I'm so sorry guys. College is taking up all of my time now and I suddenly find it hard to find time to write. It's only temporary though. I'll try to improve on my updating schedule.
I'll tell you guys when I'm going to update in the Dia-Hards group.
Meanwhile, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE add the Wattpad Block Party Winter Edition book into your libraries because on the 9th of February (Next Tuesday) I will be hosting the party for the day and I will be posting an EXCLUSIVE Perfect boys joint interview featuring Kayden, Jax and Daniel! So don't miss out because it's going to be so much fun!!!
See you guys on Tuesday, my Dia-Hards! (; (; (; (;
Love, Claudia.