Chivonn:
Working in this fishbowl made it impossible to avoid people at work. I still hadn't made up my mind about what I was going to do about the concert. Sean had tickets and seemed really excited to see this 'mystery performer' so chances are he'd be there regardless. Michael would be there regardless... I'm sure he had some girl he could get a hold of...Keisha... who would drop everything to take him.
Around lunch time, sure enough, Sean came through my glass door filling my office with his wonderful scent. "We still on for lunch today, Chivonn?" He smiled as he approached my desk and leaned on it casually.
"Oh actually I have to run and meet up with my friend, you know the one I was talking to on the phone the other day, she needs some more consoling." I said quickly with a smile on my face. He'd have to be an idiot to by that, but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't keep faking this and I couldn't tell him the truth! Oh, there's some thug I'd rather be with than your... amazingly good looking, successful, charming... self... Things will be awkward around work. Shit, what if he goes as far as to get me fired because I don't want to date him?! I couldn't lose my job now.
"What's going on? This sounds pretty serious." Ok... maybe he is a bit dense. Or playing dense, I don't know. His brows were furrowed in genuine concern, though.
"She's got this boyfriend...well he's not really her boyfriend, but this guy she's sort of seeing... and he's into some really bad things. As much as she wants to cut things off and move on with her life, she can't shake the feeling that there might be something real there." I realized after I spoke that I sounded like I was describing my own feelings! Well... in reality I was.
"He's into some really bad things, such as?"
"Drugs and other things... I think he used to deal. He's done time, he actually just got out." I couldn't stop the word vomit. I was saying too much.
Sean's thick eyebrows raised high. "Well... if she's anything like you, she deserves better than that."
"That's what I'm trying to convince her... I just... need to spend some time with her." I said with a smile. He didn't seem too terribly disappointed and didn't question me about the concert. I was relieved at the moment, but knew I couldn't dance around the subject forever. He kept his distance only showing up for small talk around the office and sent me a few text messages here and there for the rest of the week.
Michael was MIA most of the rest of the week too except for thursday he talked me into getting a cellphone plan with him and not only did I have to pay for the 'cheap phone' he was going to get which wasn't that cheap I still had to pay $50, the dumb sales person at the store couldn't figure out how to swap the numbers, the whole process was taking forever and I just wanted to leave, so I couldn't keep my original phone number and now I had a new number while Michael had my old one. I texted Sean and Risa immediately letting them know that my number had changed to avoid any embarrassment Michael might cause me if they had texted him at my old number.
Friday evening I came home and Michael wasn't there. That night Risa and I finally got our girls night out at the club and I spent the night at her house and slept til noon that next Saturday. Don't think Michael didn't take advantage of owning a phone and my number. He texted me all through the night Friday and called me first thing Saturday morning to see when I was coming home. I think this was just his way of seeing if I was really with Risa or if I had stayed with Sean. When I came home Saturday afternoon, Michael was gone but Bryan and Terrika were there with the kids acting a little friendlier than usual. They were both sitting on the living room couch while Davea was crawling on the floor playing with a doll and Darius had two Ninja Turtle action figures in his hands as he made them fight each other.
"Vonvon!" Darius greeted as soon as he saw me walk through the door. I tossed my purse at the stairs.
"Hey!" I bent down and scooped him up. "You gettin' so heavy! What a big boy!" I put him down after giving him a kiss on the cheek. I got down on the floor and crawled over to Davea. She played shy and crawled over behind her daddy's leg. I tickled her lightly and she giggled before attempting to climb up into his lap. He picked her up and held her. It was still weird seeing my brother with kids. I pulled my new phone out of my back pocket and snapped their picture instantly putting it on Facebook. When I did, I noticed I had a few new friend requests. One was from Michael. He still had that stupid profile pic of a stack of money and a pistol. I was afraid to accept it. What if Sean noticed?
"Hey Chivonn." Terrika said and I realized that I had just been rudely standing here on my phone without even greeting her. Again, she wasn't my favorite person, but I was always cordial to her for the kids and Bryan.
"Oh hey, sorry... how is everything?"
"Good. I was just telling Bryan that I'm going to be starting a new job working nights so, if he can get rid of his roommate, he can start having the kids Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights."
Get rid of his roommate... I chuckled slightly. "Yeah..." I didn't know what to say.
"I kicked Michael out this morning." The way Bryan looked at me, I knew he was lying. Then I knew this whole set up must just be him kissing her ass once again to get to spend some time with his kids. To see them three times a week from here on out would be a dream to him. I knew he was lookin' too friendly.
"Oh I see." I said and on that note I had to walk out of the room before I said something stupid. Though I had already taken five Advil, my head was still pounding so I went upstairs to go lay down. I opened my door and gasped. Michael was sitting on my bed grinning at me. He was wearing that red Che Guevara shirt again with black jeans on. He put a finger against his lips telling me to be quiet. I shut my door behind me.
"Why are you hiding in here? Couldn't you have hid out back? You know you're not allowed in my room when I'm not here." I whispered loudly. I glanced around to make sure everything was in place. Michael just shrugged.
"Terrika's a bitch. I mean, I be thinkin' you can be a bitch sometimes..." I rolled my eyes at this and he winked at me. "But she's on a whoooole 'notha level." He spoke in a low voice just above a whisper.
"Well she's the mother of Bryan's kids and if he wants to be in their lives, unfortunately he has to kiss her ass." I whispered back.
"Bitches be thinkin' they run this world." Michael laid back on my bed... with his shoes on. I slapped at his feet and glared at him. He rolled his eyes and quickly kicked out of his feet. They thumped on the floor loudly. I glared at him again.
"So what now, you gonna hide every time she comes here?" I walked around to the other side of the bed and laid down next to him leaving a good foot of distance between us on my queen sized bed. I picked up the remote and turned on my TV. Michael wasted no time closing the space I had created between us. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and leaned his head against mine. My heart rate speed up rapidly... This felt so good. Until... he snatched the remote from my hand and began flipping through the channels like he owned this TV.
"Yep." He answered landing on some stand-up comedy skit. How could I be letting myself fall for someone that people don't even want their kids around?! I looked up at him, our faces were so close. He glanced down at me and raised his eyebrow. The look was like him challenging me...'what you gonna do girl?' I could practically hear his voice as if he sent the message telepathically.
I rolled my eyes and scooted away from him a little. Laying my head comfortably on my pillow. Michael pulled his arm out from behind my head so we could both get comfortable.
"So, what's been going on with you?" I asked.
"Shit." He answered vaguely.
I elbowed him.
He gave a sigh. "PO's got me out lookin' for a job."
"That's great!" I yelled out forgetting that he was in hiding up here.
"Shut the fuck up!" He whispered loudly. I would have taken great offense to that if it wasn't for the smile on his face as he said it. That smile could turn the nasty words into something beautiful. I laughed quietly and without thinking scooted closer to him. I reached up to scratch my nose and my hand fell to his chest. He reached up and placed his hand over mine on his chest. "What about you? You kick that lawyer to the curb yet?"
I laughed a little. "He and I were never officially together... So there's no need to kick him anywhere."
"Yeah but he needs to know you ain't interested. You got someone else you interested in. Tell that nigga, Chev, I ain't playin."
I furrowed my brow and looked up at his face like who are you to tell me what to do? As soon as I turned my face up to his, his lips came crashing down on mine. I couldn't hold back... my hand slid up his chest and around his neck up into his hair. He moaned as my fingers touched his neck and rolled over on top of me. I wrapped both arms around his shoulders and held him tight as I kissed him back, I nipped his bottom lip and tasted his tongue with mine. He'd been in my stash of jolly ranchers... I glanced out of the corner of my eye at the nearly empty candy dish I had sitting on my end table. He pushed my thighs apart and slid his body in between my legs. I arched my back as he pushed his hips against me, letting me know he was already ready. He was such a good kisser... I guess he would be as much experience as he's had... an image of all the females he'd probably had in same position ran through my head and I pulled away quickly. He dropped his head into my neck and began to kiss me there.
"Stop." I whispered.
"You done got me hard girl, we fuckin, no questions." He voice was suddenly so deep and...sexy. I couldn't deny I was so turned on, but... I just couldn't.
"They'll hear us."
"Go down there and tell them you got wild with your vibrator. Don't think I didn't find it." He snickered evilly as he sucked at my neck purposely attempting to leave a mark. I brought my shoulder up high to block his access.
"Stop, Michael." I meant for it to sound firm, but it sounded more like a moan. He slipped his quick hands up my blouse and under my bra. I shuddered as felt his thumbs rub across my nipples sending and electric shock throughout my body. He pushed my shirt up to my neck and set my aching nipples free, claiming my right one with his mouth, nursing it like he was a baby and then circling it with his warm tongue. I thought of all the other places that tongue has probably been...
"Seriously... Michael quit." I pushed at his shoulders. His teeth clamped down around my nipple. I squealed.
"You stop fightin' it, girl."
"Please... not now."
"Then when?" He lifted his head to look me in the eye. He was starting to sound irritated.
"I don't know maybe when you properly ask me to be your girlfriend... and then show me that this is real and you're dedicated to changing." I pulled my shirt down and sat up, pushing him off of me. That bulge in his black jeans looked dangerous.
"How the fuck I'm supposed to ask you to be my girlfriend when you all up on anotha dude?"
Well this escalated quickly. "Ok..."
He sighed heavily. "Chivonn... I ain't had none in over two years... and you make me so...fuckin' horny all the time. Prolly half of my attitude comes from wantin' you so bad."
"No. I don't just have sex with people because I want some type of release. It has to mean more than that. Plus, I'm sure there are plenty of women out there you can add a tally mark to. I'm not one of them."
His jaw tensed up and I could tell I had pissed him off. He probably would've stormed out by now if terrible Terrika wasn't downstairs. He didn't say another word to me for the next couple of minutes and when she finally did leave, he left too and didn't come home.
Michael:
I can't smoke weed, I can't have sex.... Two of the things I turn to when I'm this anxious. That only left the third option. Alcohol. I hit up my brother Jermaine and went back to my mom's house for the rest of the evening and later that night for the first time in the longest, hit the club with my brothers. As much as I wanted to just stick my dick in the first girl that tried to talk to me, I held back. I was so, so close with Chivonn... I couldn't fuck it up now and prove her right. I had Jermaine take me back home around three that morning and passed right out on the couch.
I woke up the next morning, hung over as shit once again, every time I do this I say I'm never going to do it again. I could hear Chivonn and Bryan talking in the kitchen and smell the scent of bacon and coffee. Bryan's trying to get in real good with Terrika so that she'll stop with this child support bullshit. If he had his whole check, he wouldn't be needing to live with his sister. I prayed he had something to do today and would get the hell out so that I could have some more alone time with his sister. I walked into the kitchen still wearing the same outfit from last night and sat down next to Bryan, diagonal from Chev at the table.
"Nigga where'd you go last night?" Bryan asked.
"To my momma's then out with my brothas." I answered glancing diagonally at Chev to see her reaction. She looked like she was trying to be indifferent. I'm sure she was pissed off about me not coming home last night. She took a bite of her biscuit and glanced down at the paper.
"Oh word? Where was the invite?"
"Sorry, man... thought you was bein' the family man last night."
"Uh huh... Keisha called for you. I gave her your new number." That dirty mothafucka. He knew he did me wrong.
"What the fuck, nigga? Why'd you do that shit? I don't need that bitch havin' my number."
"She just wants tickets to yo show, nigga. Calm down."
I tensed up. How did she find out about my show?! I then remembered the run in I had with Tony's sister and her tellin' me how hard he was promoting the it...
"You gonna make sure Chev and I get tickets too, right?" Bryan didn't know that Chivonn was the one driving me. "I'll drive."
"I don't need to go." She said quickly. Was she fuckin' serious?!
"Why?" I asked. Bryan looked at her also.
"Chev, I'm telling you. I ain't never heard him sing, but his dance moves are off the chain." Why was this nigga promoting me right now if he ain't want me with her? I looked back at her for her response.
She shrugged. "I have other things to do." She stood with her half empty plate and dumped the rest of her uneaten food in the trash.
My fuse was lit.